My thoughts on social gatherings.......

27 Apr 2005

Quote by tallnhairy
Now in the case of munch helpers there is 3 or 4 people there to help, not to run around trying to throw people out, but to be a listening ear and someone the new person knows they can approach safely for help. Someone who will be sober, and just look out for them.

But you can't guarantee that the people appointed (by whom exactly??) would be reliable, and I can think of one or two people on here who would relish the job of munch 'helper' as a means of identifying and targetting vulnerable people. Imagine that, the prey now goes TO the predator.

As for using the mods, I know they are just human beings, I know a few of them personally and know how hard they can find the role. However they do try to maintain an impartial attitude, they can gather info from a number of sources, and we already trust them with our usernames on the site.

Again, that's an assumption that I can't go along with. There are one or two mods who I personally would not trust any farther than I could throw them, and I doubt that any of those I do trust would be interested in taking on such a role. The only people who want to look important at munches are the same people who try to be pseudo-mods in here, and you know who they are.

I would not suggest they enforce discipline at the munch, but that in the case of a complaint coming out of a munch they investigate. My reasons for this are that doing nothing sends the wrong signals to people who my abuse the privilage of being a muncher, and as I commented at the end of my previous post a public complaint damages someones reputation before they can defend / explain themselves. Once we have a confirmed complaint the response should I suppose be guided by all the mods and the person who was wronged, together they could come as close to fair as we going to get IMO.

Speaking as the subject of a witch hunt, conducted in exactly the manner you describe, I can state categorically that that won't work.
Far better, in my view, for people reading this thread and wondering whether to attend munches, to know that if they have a problem, they can just yell there and then and be sure that dozens of people will come running to help.

27 Apr 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
Far better, in my view, for people reading this thread and wondering whether to attend munches, to know that if they have a problem, they can just yell there and then and be sure that dozens of people will come running to help.

I take your points Ice, I think some of the people who would go for this role are natural helpers (like me) but very good points on how do you chose and indeed police the police...
I think then we return to the idea I ended the post with that this thread in itself will lead to the kind of self regulation we need, and if anyone feels uncomfortable just call for help and people will do just that. A loud NO should be enough to stop anything, if not then anyone calling for help someone needs to step in there and then to stop whatever. No matter how much we may think whatever it is is in 'fun' or 'a joke' if someone says help the joke is over, period.
We can't do code words for this sort of thing, it is a social event, no means NO and someone calling for help needs it. I am guessing as to what happened to poor Jiggle as I was not at the event, but based on what I have read it must never happen again...

27 Apr 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
Now in the case of munch helpers there is 3 or 4 people there to help, not to run around trying to throw people out, but to be a listening ear and someone the new person knows they can approach safely for help. Someone who will be sober, and just look out for them.

27 Apr 2005

Possibly the overt sexual behaviour goes on at a munch because of, not despite, it being a vanilla environment. Maybe some people see it as a safe place to indulge in a little soft swing where it is certain that it cannot go further.

that's a damn good point. i'm quite sure part of the fun has been indulging in the odd bit of risque, heavy flirtation, without fear that it means you're somehow "up for it". of course there has to be limits to how far that goes in a public place, but i'd hate to see that lost altogether, cos i think a lot of us have got a great deal out of that kind of freedom, as far as toe-dipping goes.
i guess my point is, i can't really see any way to make changes or lay down guidelines, beyond what we already have, that could work without affecting the 99% who do know how to behave, and impinging on their fun and freedom, to deal with the 1% who don't. it would be using a hammer to crack a nut, and let's face it, the determined 1% will do WTF they like no matter what we agree here anyways. we have sanctions in place to deal with that anyways . . namely . . banned from further munches and / or the site for serious offences.
the suggestions in this thread that snogging, hugs, pranks and what have you are inappropriate entirely in themselves doesn't make sense, though of course i'd agree that random nudity and shagging are going too far in public. it's the non-consensual nature of the act that's inappropriate, and we are blurring the issues i think?
beyond reiterating that munches be completely free from overt sexual play, it's entirely a matter for personal choice and discretion i think. i would hate to be told that cos of the odd mishap i can no longer enjoy a snog and a cuddle in case someone takes offence, or gets the wrong end of the stick. seems the vast majority of members would then be expected to modify their behaviour and guess at the possible implications of every little action to account for a tiny minority? i seriously doubt you'd get anything positive out of that, and it would be an absolute nightmare for anyone other than ourselves to have to police our behaviour?
neil x x x ;)

27 Apr 2005

ok been reading this.(well not all but a few). some great points from alot of people,apart from the not trusting changing the subject abit..
i agree with what everyone said about a nice bloke maybe to kind... and if he or others. are going to munchs .they have to feel safe..hes not the only person i herd who hashad trouble in the last few its not a new thing....
ive done stuff wrong,,, and i bet everyone on here has..
people have got to know its a drinks thing with new people you never met,or old friends you have met from this site....have a chat have a dance,a laugh,even a snog ..and sort out where or what u doing afterwards..
i dont thinking the kissing,getting hold,snogging what ever you call it is that bad myself why stop that? people kiss in pubs,clubs ,so stopping that at a munch is kind of stuped..
also when i go out.(ie pubs clubs) i see at least 2 different girls snogging their gfs,their ladyfriends a night ,,, its something more ladys do these days..times have change,so i dont think bar staff will be that shocked
but groping people tounge down people. grabbing tits and the rest is not right,everyone knows that..
how do they work round it ?
i think on every munch,they should have on the first page the article about what is a munch, just to let new people know the rules,and to remind people who been to alot.
2..people stop vouching for they met at one munch(ie talking to someone for five mins dont mean u know them)..you cant tell alot from one meet..,as some now know...
3... if u been groped,,felt scared u tell a delete as..there job is to make people feel safe,sorry if sound if they quick anuff to delete somebody for sending a rude pm or post ,,, they should be chucking people of who been out of order just as fast,who ever they may be
its good that jiggles has made people talk on this,even if he wishs he never.,.its wasnt the first, and he probley wont be the last...
sorry about the spelling
and these are just my thoughts.... prob means fuck all. but its done now

27 Apr 2005

Haven't had chance to read up on all the additions to this thread.
There do seem to be a number of idea and suggestions being thrown around and a lot of fingers inteh pot so to speak. remembering that the munches represent SH the site, is it now time that we have a SH Munch Committee?
People can still arrange the munch for their area in terms of where, rooms etc, but the guest list and security is handled by the Committee? Or simply to come up with a set of Munch guidelines which are adhered too for future events.
Not thought it through re logistics etc just literally flying through the forum before going to bed ...
C x

27 Apr 2005

Quote by Shireen_Mids
Like IcePie said, what we need is self-regulation.... "we can wake up, acknowledge our social responsibilities, act as "normal adult human beings" and police our own behaviour"
For goodness sakes we are supposed to be adults!!.... This sort of behaviour is what I would expect from teenagers who have just discovered sex...
Shireen (Severely pissed off at the minute)

Well said Shireen, we should be responsible for our own actions, and should be aware of those around us. I agree with others who have said that worse can be seen at Vanilla Discos and Clubs, but even then can it be condoned. We have a great site here, and Munches are a great way to get to know like minded people. Let's not spoil it, but take it upon ourselves to behave in an appropriate fashion, and I use that word particularly as situations can differ.
john
smile

27 Apr 2005

Quote by Calista
People can still arrange the munch for their area in terms of where, rooms etc, but the guest list and security is handled by the Committee?

The last thing we need is people assuming the right to make decisions about things that other people have worked hard to put together.
As long as munch organisers feel at liberty to arrange it the way they want to, the worst they can do is maybe exclude people they personally have problems with, but as soon as anyone presumes to take control of all munches, I think you'll get more witch hunts and people barred from all events just because one of the self-appointed rulers doesn't like them.
I think any attempt by anyone to assume authority over munches in general will inevitably lead to exactly the kind of xenophobic elitism that destroyed the original chatroom and all you'll be left with is an inner circle of approved munchers who bow down to the committee. I really don't like this idea at all because it will inevitably lead to the end of open munches as we know them, to be replaced by essentially private parties subject to the permission and veto of the clique.
All that is required, in my opinion, is for organisers of social events to do precisely what Helen and Sarah have done for the Rios meet: Spell out very clearly that it is not an orgy, that normal standards of social behaviour appropriate to the venue apply, and that anyone with difficulty should feel at liberty to speak up and ask for help.
Committee noun. Any lifeform with more than six legs, no conscience, and a tendency to vote LibDem.
(Edited cos I couldn't spell committee redface

)

27 Apr 2005

Erm there are people that are qualified to police the munches. The venue owners.
It's their property and if they or the staff feel that someone's getting out of line then they have every right to eject them from the premises. maybe they need a little guidance how to deal with us though.
I'm guessing that everyone who's arranged a Munch has told the owner/manager the nature of the event. So when you explain who will be attending also explain that this is a social event and not a peep-show. If they or their staff see anything that shocks or offends or that they wouldn't see on a normal Saturday night then they need to either tell the Munch organiser or sort the problem out themselves there and then if they deem it urgent.
It's not an ideal solution, but hopefully it'll keep the very small minority in check.
Kinky we're not talking about snogging or hugging or friendly "goosing" (been waiting ages to use that term biggrin

). We're talking about people doing stuff that wouldn't look out of place in an Amsterdam live action strip-joint and out and out assaults.
I have no problem with hugs, snogs, friendly groping etc. What gets me is people performing felatio in an open area; constant fondling of genital areas; mutual masturbation; sex in the loos etc.
Behaviour that you wouldn't normally see in any other kind of party (yes I know that people do this stuff occasionally at "vanilla" gatherings or nightclubs, but that's the point, it's occasional!).
Last time I checked a Munch was supposed to be a meeting in a vanilla environment (ie with other people who are non-swingers around). Unless it's a swingers club, there are vanillas around, the staff of the bar at least.
I'm speaking as a vanilla as well. We don't swing. As such we don't go, or ask for invites to Blues or anyone elses parties as we aren't part of the lifestyle. We do go to Munches as we like to meet people we've talked to via the forum and we've both made some very close and very good friends because of it.
I for one, don't want to see a downward spiral of Munches as they could reach a point where we feel like gooseberrys because everyone's engaged in the orgy except for us. As I said before, this is why we don't go to private parties.
People can do what they want in the comfort of their own home, or other venues that they've arranged. I really couldn't care less. I respect their rights to do what they want as long as nobody's forced into participating, but a minority don't seem capable of respecting my rights to not have to endure this crap.
I agree that most of us should be and are, responsible for our actions. We're not talking about a large percentage of the attendees here. But there does seem to be a growing number of people who think that a Munch is a licence for open season on anyone and at an event that is billed as a friendly, relaxed, non-swinging environment it's just not on.

27 Apr 2005

As a new member, I have never been to a Munch but would love to attend one - not for the possibility of an instant shag but to meet the people who are there and see where that leads (if anywhere).
This thread seems to be becoming a discussion on what is acceptable and what is not in general terms and political correctness is yet again coming forward. Politcal correctness can really go too far - particularly when I realise how I have acted in the past!
My own views are:
- There is gropping/snogging in any normal night club or indeed pub these days. If people do not like this they should say so and if the situation continues, the establishment staff should obviously act appropriately.
- In a private party (ie a munch in a room in a hotel/pub) there should be someone who is available to assist anyone who is being bothered. If anyone organises a private event there is a certain amount of responsibility that goes with this. Ultimately you can go to the management/bouncers of the establishment but that is really a last resort.
- A social event is just that - a place to meet people and you should act as you would in any other social event. I have met females at a party and gone on to have sex but you do not have the sex in the middle of the party!
- Self regulation is clearly the answer - if the situataions continue to get out of hand then munches will be a thing of the past as no one will attend. I presume nobody wants that.
Finally, if Jiggle felt he was "abused" then :
- Did he make this clear to the people involved?
- If so, why did they not respect him? - this is the worrying point!
- Did anyone else step in and stop what was going on?
If this has been a stupid joke that has gone wrong so be it - everyone shake hands and say sorry and get on with your life. If however the whole concept of like minded people meeting up for an iniital "vanilla" social event is being jepordised then some rules may need to be involved. I do not want rules - that goes against everything that this community should be about but respecting others views/limits must also be also be a priority. As has been said, we are all adults.
Personly, I do not care what goes on at a private gathering - if I do not like what I see or the people I meet I have the option to walk out the door and go home!
Look forward to seeing you all at a munch in the future!
McC

27 Apr 2005

Sorry, can i just remind people of something?
There is a male, renowned member of the site, that abused/bullied or assaulted a fellow member, that was asked to apologise but hasnt, at large.
What about this?

27 Apr 2005

Quote by Sexysteph
He has apologised but he did it privately to Jiggle and Jiggle has accepted that apology. See the Thank you thread.

What he said was :-

Quote by Jiggle
i would also like to say, both parties have apolisigsed to me, one publicly and one privatly. and i will be discussing what happend next with them shorty

He hasn't said he has accepted them... rolleyes

27 Apr 2005

Sorry, I dint read the thank you thread, I just dived in to this.
However, it doesnt sound like a satisfactory conclusion has been reached.
I hope the guy hasnt been mealy mouthed, but have no way of knowing.

27 Apr 2005

Happy Cats;
I go back to my last post. It depends on what occured obviously but if you and others do not want to associate with the male in question that is your perogative.
If more and more people do not want to be with the guy in question ( and I have no idea who he is) then at the end of the day he will be left alone, no one will speak to him and he will not be invted to any more events etc.
As has been said we are all adults, capable of making our own decisions. The site can not ban someone for his drunken(?) behaviour but if he is ignored, sent to Coventry by other members, not invited to any more events etc. then does this not achieve the same results?

27 Apr 2005

Quote by McCloggie
Happy Cats;
I go back to my last post. It depends on what occured obviously but if you and others do not want to associate with the male in question that is your perogative.
If more and more people do not want to be with the guy in question ( and I have no idea who he is) then at the end of the day he will be left alone, no one will speak to him and he will not be invted to any more events etc.
As has been said we are all adults, capable of making our own decisions. The site can not ban someone for his drunken(?) behaviour but if he is ignored, sent to Coventry by other members, not invited to any more events etc. then does this not achieve the same results?

Lets say, for example, you read the signs wrong and think it is ok to grope my wife, she tells you she doesnt want you to do it, but you continue. Is the answer for me to ignore you, and hope you are banned from the site? (please bear in mind I, like you, dont know who the guy is)

28 Apr 2005

Sorry Happy Cats - you misunderstand me.
In the situation you describe, clearly something has to be done at the time - just like in a normal pub or club if someone is drunk and annoying others and does not stop he/she will probably be thrown out.
What I meant was after the event. If someone gets a bad name either on the site, at a munch or indeed at a full swinging party or meet they will be ignored by others and not be invited to future events. It is just the same in "normal" life - you do not make friends with people you do not like and do not invite them to your house or party and if you walk into a pub and find it full of people you do not like you have the option to go elsewhere.

28 Apr 2005

Quote by McCloggie
Sorry Happy Cats - you misunderstand me.
In the situation you describe, clearly something has to be done at the time .
.

So what happens if the person who has been wronged is very timmid and shy and certainly is not one for personal confrontation confused

: :?: :?: :?:

28 Apr 2005

So I'm just wondering.....
I've had two altercations at meets. The first, we sorted things between us privately, but that still came up later to bite everyone in the arse because it was a personal issue which some board members seemed to feel was their responsibility in sorting out before inviting us both to the next meet. Kinda felt like naughty kids being pulled together by the ears and told to behave.
The second situation hasn't been sorted, but that's a whole other issue and I still don't think it's anyone elses business to sort out besides myself and the other person. We're big girls now.
But to my point...if, at a vanilla meeting, I ask a straight girl if she's sure she's not bi and I snog a few people (men and woman) concensually, and a vanilla person takes offense, is that inappropriate behaviour?

28 Apr 2005

Quote by Libra-Love
But to my point...if, at a vanilla meeting, I ask a straight girl if she's sure she's not bi and I snog a few people (men and woman) concensually, and a vanilla person takes offense, is that inappropriate behaviour?

i think that is a good question.... for me the answer is going to be no.. well answer would like be "bothered!!!" ..... if even if one person is offeneded then do we all have a problem???
and i think that is why we are all on eggshells now.....to be honest i don't know what i am going to do at the mini meet on saturday in edinburgh... i am a very tactile person but i don't want any of my actions to be mis-understood....and i now feel that a part of me is being taken away here....
sean xxxxxx

28 Apr 2005

As a newcomer here I do no want to dig myself into hole on this one!!
Steve, the situation can be compared with a normal pub/club where someone makes a nuisance of themselves. Normally I would not advocate direct personal confrontation with someone who is drunk as this will just escalate the situation.
If the staff see the incident they should act appropriately. If the incident goes unseen then it is up to either the victim or his friends to report it. If someone decides not to report it or do anything about it then nothing will happen - and the trouble maker may just get worse. It really comes down to what people think is acceptable - sometimes the best policy is to ignore the drunk that is annoying you and not make a fuss.
My point is that a munch seems to be a private, social gathering where normal or acceptable behaviour is expected and everyone has a responsibility to make shure the party goes well. The organisers of any private party have a responsibility to ensure that things do not get out of hand or that individuals do not make trouble, but the victims, for want of a better word, have also a responsibility to ensure that trouble or nastiness is stopped or does not go any further.

28 Apr 2005

I have no idea what happened with Jiggle or by whom. I can only point out that in the past when someone has behaved in a grossly inappropriate manner then that person has been ejected. .... prehaps not from the venue at that time, but certainly from the site at a later date.
It would and has happened with newbies so why not with regs?
At the same time, I think we should be aware not to be walking on eggshells all the time, misconstrue what is intended to be playful fun, and always, always be assured that any behaviour is consenting! Oh, and let's not have a witch-hunt eh?
I don't think the person in question here, should have to declare themselves or make a public apology. In any event, it is between Jiggle and the person and if necessary, a friend or mod that Jiggle feels he might need for moral support.
Yes, I see what people are saying about "someone in our midst" but I really do believe this is for the people involved and those who moderate the site to concern themselves with.
Besides, I'm sure the SH rumour mill will get round us all eventually rolleyes

but that's another thread ....
edit ..... sorry, just read that through and it sounds like 'm trying to brush it all under the carpet or something ... I didn't mean it like that but I'm leaving my original post up. Whatever's happened, I don't know but it sounds from teh reactions on here, bloody awful. And it doesn't really matter what happened, it's how the victim feels that is at issue really.
I've experienced instances when a certain person has been extremely pushy and gone as far as publicly groping me inappropriately but our friendship has always been of a playful flirty nature with no real intent (not on my part anyway) so I have kind of brushed aside any bad feeling I've had. It's up to me to tell that person I don't want that sort of attention.
I'm getting more and more confuddled actually .... was just thinking about when I was sorting teh invites for the Teesside thingy ... there was one person who had behaved inappropriately at a previous event and I found myself in the position of having to decide whether he could come to "my" event based on his past behaviour. I decidedint he end, to explain this all to him and give conditions for his invite. He apologised profusely, not realising that he had come across that way. I have not witnessed or heard anything negative about his behaviour at munches since. We live and learn eh?
I'm not trying to say that Jiggle's experience wasn't as bad as it seems but perhaps it did get seriously out of hand, drink is no excuse really but it's a very real thing that people do get carried away and people like Jigs who are naturally quiet and easily embarrassed take trhe brunt of jokes. apparently, there was 'pre-mediitated intent' (??) - am I right there - that this was discussed in the chatroom? Thing is, if it was said jokily and no one picks up on it, nips it in the bud, whatever then doesn't the joke run and run? Doesn't make it right, but it happens.
I'm digging myself into a hole here, aren't I? I'm sorry if this isnt coming across as I meant it. Grrrrr @ me.

28 Apr 2005

All that is required, in my opinion, is for organisers of social events to do precisely what Helen and Sarah have done for the Rios meet: Spell out very clearly that it is not an orgy, that normal standards of social behaviour appropriate to the venue apply, and that anyone with difficulty should feel at liberty to speak up and ask for help.

what he ^^^ said!

Quote by Fabio
if even if one person is offeneded then do we all have a problem

my short answer is, no! if the vast majority of people are offended, fair enough, one or two out of 200? no.

Quote by Steve_mids

Sorry Happy Cats - you misunderstand me.
In the situation you describe, clearly something has to be done at the time .

So what happens if the person who has been wronged is very timid and shy and certainly is not one for personal confrontation
steve, we're all agreed it shouldn't have happened at all. absolutely noone should be made to feel uncomfortable at munches, for whatever reason, and hopefully it won't happen again, but IF it does, in those kinda circumstances, we only really have two options. we can hope someone second guesses how we might react, and steps in on our behalf, or we can make it obvious we're not enjoying it. the more realistic option is the second one.
i know that sounds harsh, and believe me i'm quite shy IRL, and i'd run a mile rather than find myself in any kind of confrontation, but in those circumstances, i have at some point got to pipe up. if i find myself in a tricky situation i don't know how to handle at the time, and let events take their course rather than make a big deal about it, then the only thing i can do then is make my displeasure known afterwards, as jiggle has done, and make it clear i found it unacceptable for everyone's future reference. it still can only come down to me though at the end of the day.
i really can see no other course of action, in those circumstances. and again, yeah, it was completely inappropriate, and i'm not trying to diminish it at all, but as Ice Pie says, i think all we can do is reiterate the point about self-control and appropriate behaviour, maybe on the PMs that go out with invites? more than that what can anyone do? dunno

hard and fast rules or committees or bouncers watching everyone like hawks simply won't work, i'm quite sure mods would fancy the night off without having to police munches for us now, and this is all getting circular again with no other realistic solution that i can see?
neil x x x ;)

28 Apr 2005

Quote by Libra-Love
But to my point...if, at a vanilla meeting, I ask a straight girl if she's sure she's not bi and I snog a few people (men and woman) concensually, and a vanilla person takes offense, is that inappropriate behaviour?

I guess it's a two part reply.
First are you're actions something that an average person would find unacceptable? As has been mentioned many times, we're all adults here and as such we should be capable of realising what is acceptable and what isn't.
I like to think of myself as an average and I wouldn't find any of the things you mention unacceptable. Especially with people you've met before.
Sean we met you at the Notts Munch and you're behaviour was beyond reproach. Chatty, friendly, good natured and that all important word RESPECTFULL
Secondly I think some of it comes down to the motivation behind the action. They seem to have the idea that if they grope someone they'll just get really horny and shag them. If that worked we'd all be doing it. mad

The thing | find most worrying isn't the actions of people like you and Sean, who obviously are deeply concerned that you're actions may offend someone, it's the people who aren't able to control themselves and don't think there's anything wrong with it.
I really want to stress this point again though.
We've been to a couple of Munches and I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen someone over step the mark and ignore the fact they have. Munches are bloody good laugh. Unfortunately there are one or two members (and remember we're talking one or two people out of 125+) who don't seem able to control their behaviour.
Unfortunately these people's actions seem to encourage others to join in, especially after a few drinks and things are getting to the point now where others are getting concerned. Hence this thread and the raging debate.
I think it's more of a case of making those that aren't able to see how their actions affect others, stop and take note, nipping it in the bud, so to speak, rather than sending the riot squad in.

28 Apr 2005

Quote by Marya
I can only point out that in the past when someone has behaved in a grossly inappropriate manner then that person has been ejected. .... prehaps not from the venue at that time, but certainly from the site at a later date.

Exactly, so why are the two involved in this episode still here?
Oh yes, I remember now . . . it's because they have apologised so that makes it ok rolleyes

Wonder if they have ever heard the expression "sorry doesn't always make it right"?
Tracy-Jayne

28 Apr 2005

As there will be quite a few munchies and events coming up......lets hope lessons have been learnt and people will be respectful of others!

28 Apr 2005

Quote by Sexysteph
Sorry, can i just remind people of something?
There is a male, renowned member of the site, that abused/bullied or assaulted a fellow member, that was asked to apologise but hasnt, at large.
What about this?

Happy Cats
He has apologised but he did it privately to Jiggle and Jiggle has accepted that apology. See the Thank you thread.
i have done no such thing!.
i said i will discuss with that person shortly.. and i have been very respecful of him and kept his name out of this.
but one thing i am annoyed with is that someone that knows me has passed on my phone number with out asking!.... somehting which i feel as violated my trust. and as anyone who knows me is one thing i value more than anything. TRUST.

28 Apr 2005

Quote by neilinleeds

Sorry Happy Cats - you misunderstand me.
In the situation you describe, clearly something has to be done at the time .

28 Apr 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
steve, we're all agreed it shouldn't have happened at all. absolutely noone should be made to feel uncomfortable at munches, for whatever reason, and hopefully it won't happen again, but IF it does, in those kinda circumstances, we only really have two options. we can hope someone second guesses how we might react, and steps in on our behalf, or we can make it obvious we're not enjoying it. the more realistic option is the second one.
neil x x x ;)

at the time i had two options, one was to turn around and hit the two parties involved, and have everyone turn on me, and thing that i am an agressive person. or the second one was to walk away.
i choose the second. , the main reason, beceasue i did not want to go spoiling anyone elses night by causing a scence... i could of easly hit the parties in question. and yes i do beleive it would of made me feel better for a short while. but i have been brought up to notto be the violent type. but on the other hand, like a lot of people they dont like to say anything, incase you are frounded upon casue they can see the funny side of the joke but you can't so you tend to keep quiet

28 Apr 2005

Quote by tallnhairy
I would suggest that we have levels of response from:
1. Ejecting from the night
2. Private apology
3. Public apology
4. 6 month ban from munches
5. A site and munch ban from a period to forever
6. Civil or criminal action being taken

From reading everything thats been said by everyone over the last hour or so, these I think are the only way to go concerning these events.
A few people have said in various posts that they'd sort it out themselves. Mrs SX and I have only been to 1 munch (the first Notts one), and we arrived late. By the time we arrived, most people were well and trully tanked up.
I know for a fact that if ANYONE had tried anything with Mrs SX, they would have been hospitalised (as a few peeps have already said as well) - but hey, thats just me. I'm not a small bloke, and do take offence at so called small minded idiots thinking they can get away with this type of thing.
Now, we're going to our 2nd munch in June (as I'm the official DJ for the Yorks munch). Mrs SX will be going, and we're also bringing a female friend - now here's where it gets interesting.......................take this scenario
Mrs SX and G/F are dancing together - nothing provocative, just 2 female mates on a night out. I'm stuck behind the deck doing the DJ thing. Something or someone happens to either one of them - I'm perfectly sober - how do you think I'd react..................I think that 99.9% of you would agree that things could turn rather nasty in this respect.
A clear definition of whats accepted and whats not is needed - and if people don't adhere to these, then the points raised above should be enforced.
Just my thoughts on the subject.............
Mr SX

28 Apr 2005

Quote by Jiggle
but one thing i am annoyed with is that someone that knows me has passed on my phone number with out asking!.... somehting which i feel as violated my trust. and as anyone who knows me is one thing i value more than anything. TRUST.

Mod's hat on!

The passing on of telephone numbers without consent is unforgivable. It's a violation of trust and a betrayal of the ethos of this site. Permisssion must always be sought for the transmission of any personal information about other members at any time - and that includes munches or after munch parties.
:twisted: rolleyes

:roll: