Not much, but it's OK for established, stable swinging couples to mock - but for others it ain't so simple!!
While your looking for the stirrups to climb off , ill just say I wasnt mocking I was expressing ( albeit in my usual condescending tone ill grant you) a heartfelt opinion that ive always held , and that is simply that people who want their social lives governed by hard and fast easily quantified rules and regulations perhaps may not find a swingers site or party for that matter the ideal avenue to achieve that .
It seems to me that in the last hundred posts , not counting 'next word' and 'rhyming what youre listening to' threads there has been a decent 30% whinging about one aspect or another of the social scene this site represents . People have stated that common sense and social decency applies in all walks of life , and we dont need extra rules or moderation to cope with that , so why get so serious and try and impose sanctions on what sounds like people being assholes at a munch ?
I may be mistaken but I am assuming that we are all adults , and liberal minded ones at that , and really shouldnt need ten pages of ideas on how to cope with people who are devoid of social graces - by now we should be pretty conversant in that.
Sorry if i sound like im having a go , im not really - and i tried to suggest that view in a more light hearted way , but that obviously got under your skin . If its as stressful and complex for some going to a party to meet a few people then whats the point of going at all ?
Peace What is it Good For
After reading through the last 4 bloody pages since i left this debate theres still not much decided.
One thing thats been said by one or two though is that organisers of munches exclude certain people they don't like or are influenced by other members to not allow certain exclude no one that has been on the site long enough,we try to include as many people as we have to use the help of mods in this sometimes but thats to mainly verify chat room people.
We also take on the responsibility of organising and carrying out munches very 'd hate it if something happened to anyone and they felt that they couldnt tell there to make sure everyone enjoys themselves,obviously we like to let our hair down but we are also there to make sure things go as well as possible.
If anyone has anyone do anything they don't like at the next munch,please tell us or our bouncer and appropriate action will be taken.
As for people playing a little too much and shagging,shoving their tits in someones face,chucking their dick around etc its gonna have to be a no no for our event and hopefully alll munch caught doing so will have to be warned or seems to be what the majority want so we'll put it on the pm's closer to the event and let everyone know.
One subject not covered yet is peoples is acceptable and what is not???
I think that people should be able to wear pretty much what they want as long as its not too face it you go to a nightclub and planty of women have a bit on show,so maybe people should only dress to this standard.
Hi all, i have posted on page 2/3 about this but it looks like i should post again, as i have been thinking about this overnight.
According to SH rules a munch is to have no playing - please correct me if i am wrong. Now if a married couple go and start touching each other in a way that would be done in a "vanilla" enviroment, would someone tell them to stop at a muncg - hmmmm????
For those of you that know me I am quite young and do go clubing in vanilla enviroments and there is more playing going on in nightclubs up and down the country with alchole is flowing than what we we should percieve that goes on at a munch.
My last paragraph is not saying that there should people should play what i am saying is that with alchole flowing that people will flirst and touch people if they fancy some else. I think people need to be discreete, as well as sensible. I think 95% would not play with someone in full view of other munch members.
I do agree with the fact that people should not be banned beacuse of disagreements in forum or chat, as this is real life and we do not all get on. I do belive that people should be banned if there behavior has been intollerable or banned from site or are Reporters.
MikeC
I've just read this thread back to front so i'm sure i'm repeating something someone has already said. As a relative new comer i recently went to my first SH party and admitadly i had no little idea what to expect. I was apprehensive about being made to feel uncomfortable especially as i didnt really know anyone else there. I think theres also a certain amount of pressure to fit in with the regulars. As it turned out i was made to feel welcome and did not at any point experience the over - familiarity that others have discussed. I think its a good idea to maybe have the rules spelt out to people attending events and people breaking them should be dealt with in some respect. After all its a social gathering and not a free for all.
Anyway enough of my ramblings
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having read thru what i have missed overnight and having thought about it a tiny bit.... i think we are getting stuck on .....
i will fully admit that i have got up to one or two things that i shouldn't have at a munch and i will plead guity as charged if they are brought up in agruement... as one person in pm sent me last night.... but i know that it was wrong in hindsight and i certainly would never dream of doing them again.....
i am going to pick up on a few peoples points and if i do then please don't feel offended, it is just the ones that stuck in my mind....
if we are going to go after a defination of "approiate behaviour" then it shouldn't really matter how well we know someone.... that goes from sexual assault to "putting ice down someone's pants" sorry dawn and not trying to belittle the situation that happened....
can i also ask westerross... mate, can i ask how many munches you have been to so far? if you are saying that you have and seen this kind of behaviour and were offended then i can understand, but if you haven't been to any then you are speaking from a position of heresay, which for this arguement is a bit unfair.... as these are very much isolated incidents, to be honest anyone who is a newbie and is reading this and wondering if they should go then i would emplore GO.... if you go to one and then decide it is not for you, at least you got to see the reality
in a way having organised a munch i wish people who feel confident in me enough to let me know if something is bothering them....and as clare and steve have said, we can only control the things that we know about, also if we know about them then maybe someone who isn't as stong may well be suffering in silence a long longer... so we can put a stop to anything before they get to anyone else... thank make sense?
for example... i know most people for example were killing themselves with laughter at what marmalaid wore at both notts and leicester munches.... but i also know people who felt really uncomfortable with it...... so obviously everything can be seen both ways...
all i would ask of most people is be aware of the enviroment they are in and try to use there best common sense....
sean xxxxxxxxxxx
Sean, the point is that some people feel that behaviour is sometimes unacceptable and that there needs to be some rethinking of what is appropriate. TE has already said he hasn't been to a munch. For him and other people who haven't attended a munch, all they have to go on is what people post in the threads AFTER a munch. I think we'd all agree that there's been some behaviour that would most likely concern a potential 'muncher', to say the least.
I would say that a munch is a great way to meet lots of people and for newbies it's a chance to meet a big group of likeminded people. It will be their chance to decide if they want to swing (for some of them at least) and/ or if they want to have more intimate meets. Think back to when you were a newbie and imagine how you might have felt if faced with the kind of behaviours that some people (including you, by your own admission) have displayed.
I'm going to ask the question again as no one that has problems with how recent munches have gone has come up with any points we can put into can we as munch organisors put into place to make everyone feel more comfortable?????
If they want the organisors to be more vigilant on the night we can be with some help from a few we are to adhere to a more strict dress code we can put this in pm's to we are to name and shame or ban people who have been lewd then we need the assistance of mods.
I like the ideas that Easy has come up with,and maybe the "court" idea could work.
I'd also like to know as Fabio has also asked,have you been to munches Tune??
I think Dawn_Mids encapsulated this whole issue in the first post....
She's an established member of the site (and a mod) who admits that she regularly plays at munches (although the site clearly states there is no playing), but says that newbies shouldn't think that it's a green light to grope her.
Someone else describes how a long-established member of the site barged into a couple so he could chat the female up.
We have mods and chatroom ops saying different things.
We don't need 20 guards patrolling a munch with machine guns, but we DO need the senior members of the site to sing from the same hymn sheet and to lead by example.
If play is going to happen, be honest about that and warn people so they know. It doesn't mean no newbies would go, but maybe not newbies who don't want to play till they know people.
If established members want to get straight down to it, they should leave early and go back to the hotel. Either that or the description of munches must be altered.
If the purpose of a munch is for established members to 'vet' newbies, they should spend time getting to know them. The fact that they don't appreciate being dived on does not mean that they don't swing.
I've been involved in swinging, in some form, for 20 years, but I've only recently joined SH. Therefore, although newbies are new to you, many know the protocols involved already.
I think you need to have a long, hard look at this. Maybe re-write the description or the rules. Maybe take on board that if you hold a position of authority on the site, or are a senior member, you should demonstrate the ability to control your behaviour off the site as well as on it.
It is not that those of us expressing concerns are not here for fun, of course we are, but swinging should be enjoyable for all the people involved.
:giggle: The munch is a non-playing social gathering event. If you want to call it a munch, get it stickied, you go by the rules of SH.
:thumbup: ) we're seeing a lot of complaints, but no viable solutions. I'd hate to see bouncers having to "patrol" a munch looking out for inappropriate behaviour and having a "quiet word" with the people engaging in it, BUT it's obviously making quite a few people uncomfortable and if they cannot be held responsible for their own behaviour, maybe it's up to someone to enforce it.
and came back again. If they can show some self-control and consideration for others, then is it too much to ask for others to show the same consideration?
but that was MY choice and se did ask to see them), had a large number of drinks, met and made some great friends and had one of those nights I will remember for the rest of my life (which, given my appauling memory, is saying a lot).
