we have met real people on here, but had to go though hundreds of time wasters
i know what you mean about the testimonial thing,
now youll get some who wont want to use this and say its not required as they meet via socials etc, fair enough, dont use it.
i actually think verification goes on, just not in such a obvious way.
i am not slating or pointing any one out here but some signatures could be seen as a public im genuie announcement.
i dont think name and shame per say is good, but maybe a testimonial option isnt so bad? its only there with permission of the profile owner.
its happens in the chat rooms and forums where ive witnessed people saying to me ask ...... about me weve met... this is without permission from said member.
if this is a subject that is constantly being raised rather than dismissel every time may be a positive way forward could be found?
xx fem xxx
It seems largely redundant as the idea of creating a list of time wasters is pointless. The majority will always be unidentifiable and will not be recognised.
Posting a list of email addresses, logins and such like would just be tedious and boring to absorb. I have no use for filling my head with such details. That really would be wasting my time, more than being messed about by casual idiots.
I think that a positive testimonials-on-your-profile system as used on *ahem* certain other sites is a good thing, basically for the reasons Scandal has mentioned above. I think a list of timewasters is a bad thing - as described by Naughty Wigan Couple it would basically just be open to abuse and wouldn't really be a very edifying experience all round. Plus I can imagine we might end up on it:
* we don't reply to all the messages we get. I know we should but we just don't have much time, and we'd rather be watching a movie or, well, having sex with each other, than endlessly typing "sorry but no thankyou... sorry but no thankyou..."
* we have cancelled meets (what are you gonna do if you wake up the day of the meet with a yeast infection, to add to Fabio's list of "what ifs"?)
* we've met people and not fancied them.
* and as someone said above, we've rejected lots of people. sometimes after replying positively to their first email; maybe when they sent pictures they didn't do it for us, maybe there was something in the tone of the subsequent messages that put us off.
Nobody should feel under any moral obligation to meet/fuck anyone else if they just don't fancy it. Of course you should be polite and honest and respectful of other people's time and stuff but ultimately if you don't want to do something then there shouldn't really be any pressure to do so. Just because you sign up on here you shouldn't expect a long queue of people waiting to fuck you either...
I personally would welcome the opportunity to publicly say nice things about the people we have had nice experiences with. If it helps their chances of getting more action then that's great, particularly if they're single men who as discussed elsewhere already have the numbers against them. Ha maybe there should be a positive reviews sticky on one of the forums, where you can delete anything mean, and put links to from your profile...
We have met several really nice people via the adverts, and we've never met anyone we spoke to on the chat rooms or forum, largely because we never really have time to use them (Ms Tomu is away on holiday for a couple of weeks right now, that's why I've suddenly gone internet crazy...) so you can get success from the ads, you just have to work at it a bit, or maybe we were lucky.
Thanks for responding to my post, I feel much better having read through this debate. Perhaps name/shame is not the best idea, just felt pixxed off last night.
Raised the question after wasting a precious summers evening (the sun did shine for a short time) sitting in a car park waiting for a “no show”.
More fool me - I new this guy (and his too good to be true partner) was not for real - you can just tell. How easy is it to communicate these days, mobile, text, voicemail - there’s no excuse for not letting someone now that the meet is off, but then to these people it’s just part of the game.
Us single guys cannot win, you have to go along with rules other people make or risk being turned down at the outset.
What there should be a law against is, the sad guys (with too good to be true imaginary partners) who deliberately set out to con others into turning up for false meets - anyone guess how common this is?
I’ve been had more than once, anyone else with similar experience?
I haven't had this problem, because I have only met up with the one person, someone who I got to know and like long before meeting, via the forums and chatrooms. So were friends before we met.
But I do wonder, of the "no shows" that people encounter, whether some of them DO show up, check out what the intended "meetee" looks like, decide they don't want to take it any further and is too embarrassed/scared/annoyed/bad mannered/not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings - take your pick - to say so? So they just slink off into the night?
Maybe an assertive person would say "I'm sorry but having seen you in the flesh, Ive decided i don't want to take things further."
But - I couldn't say this to someone. I'd be too worried about hurting them.
If I were looking again, I'd do it the same way, get to know the person first.
I know this doesn't actually answer the time-waster issue, but it's just my thoughts.
Wow Neil when do you sleep !!!! :shock: :shock: very good post though and agree with what you say.
However I was in the chatroom last night and a guy whispered me to say 'Hi corrie would you like to earn money tonight?' - Just a little reminder for me that not every who comes on here has the best of intentions . I did report it to SH.
Im with the majority on this one, a name and shame facility would be open to far to much abuse.
We have never encountered a time waster however we have had to let a single bloke down at the last minute!! :shock: . So would we have been classed as time wasters?? even tho there was no way that we could play on that particular evening! (who`d be a woman eh?).
No one is attacking anyone, and it is obvious from the posts that you all have very strong feelings over this, and I fully understand why.
Next time I see you, you can claim that one 
I had forgotten about that bit too, the verification count going up lol, can be just as negative as having zero verification lol. The system I am familiar with also allowed verification for purely social meets i.e. munches and socials etc and so having a points verification score if you are a very socialble person of 2500 if everyone at every munch/social that you attended verified you would be really scary and off putting lol :D
