name and shame should we be allowed

10 May 2005

ok just a quicky I named a "supposed" cpl I believe was a time waster/male/pic collector and was repromanded in the chat room, and anyone that wants the chat off msn messenger can see it, but should we be able to warn other friends if we know/suspect we know they are fake I was told no tonite in the chat room, and I thought this site was for "REAL" swingers, but would welcome opinion
cat

10 May 2005

No to naming and shaming on the forum too. They made the right decision in the chat room, absolutely. Naming and shaming has been discussed on here on several occassions and we have decided never to allow it as it would cause all sorts of problems.
We do not want to see any sort of naming and shaming in public, whether it be on the forum or in the ads (yes people do sometimes place "ads" just to name and shame rolleyes

. What you tell people in private is of course totally your own business.

10 May 2005

Nobody can tell you not to inform your friends in private if you so wish.......they will then either take your advice or not.
As for publically naming and shaming......I am against as it is one persons word against the other. This can lead to a lot of name calling, mis-quotes and so forth.
Dave_Notts

10 May 2005

This has been discussed many many times and the outcome is always the same - NO we won't ever have name and shame on this site.
It's open to abuse by vindicitve people and can only lead to problems for all of us confused

Tracy-Jayne

10 May 2005

Quote by bluexxx
No to naming and shaming on the forum too. They made the right decision in the chat room, absolutely. Naming and shaming has been discussed on here on several occassions and we have decided never to allow it as it would cause all sorts of problems.
We do not want to see any sort of naming and shaming in public, whether it be on the forum or in the ads (yes people do sometimes place "ads" just to name and shame . What you tell people in private is of course totally your own business.

Oh FFS Bluexxxx...........and I thought I had got in first lol

Dave_Notts

10 May 2005

Dave_Notts I am naming and shaming you for having the most terrible taste in monks habits lol

:lol:
Dawn :silly:

10 May 2005

Quote by catnpaul
ok just a quicky I named a "supposed" cpl I believe was a time waster/male/pic collector and was repromanded in the chat room, and anyone that wants the chat off msn messenger can see it, but should we be able to warn other friends if we know/suspect we know they are fake I was told no tonite in the chat room, and I thought this site was for "REAL" swingers, but would welcome opinion
cat

There you go you have your replys cool

10 May 2005

oiiiii stop changing the sbject biggrin

10 May 2005

Quote by catnpaul
oiiiii stop changing the sbject

It's an occupational hazard if you post a thread!
Happens to me all the time blink

10 May 2005

Quote by catnpaul
ok just a quicky I named a "supposed" cpl I believe was a time waster/male/pic collector and was repromanded in the chat room, and anyone that wants the chat off msn messenger can see it, but should we be able to warn other friends if we know/suspect we know they are fake I was told no tonite in the chat room, and I thought this site was for "REAL" swingers, but would welcome opinion.

noones stopping you informing friends via PM if you genuinely KNOW someone is fake, but then how do you define fake? how do you define "REAL" swingers?.
suppose i exchange pics with you, arrange a meet, decide suddenly you aren't for me because of something you said, and cancel it. so you're now free to name and shame me as a pic-collecting timewaster in public to all and sundry, simply because i decided to not meet you? confused

can you kinda see how that's open to abuse, and why it's a no no. it would be based on opinion, not fact, and would be more inflammatory than you can imagine. warn your friends by all means privately if you know it's true, but keep it off the site.
neil x x x ;)

10 May 2005

Quote by Eagerslut9
oiiiii stop changing the sbject

It's an occupational hazard if you post a thread!
Happens to me all the time blink

Thats 'cause you are rarely serious in anything you post wink

10 May 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
Dave_Notts I am naming and shaming you for having the most terrible taste in monks habits :lol:
Dawn :silly:

Mods......mods.......mods........mods.......Dawn_Mids named and shamed....................
..............even tho it should have been hung, drawn and quartered. I have seen the pics from the night and OM-fecking-G.........did I really wear that........and the bleeding blue y-fronts.............I have been truely lambasted about them redface

Dave_Notts

10 May 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
ok just a quicky I named a "supposed" cpl I believe was a time waster/male/pic collector and was repromanded in the chat room, and anyone that wants the chat off msn messenger can see it, but should we be able to warn other friends if we know/suspect we know they are fake I was told no tonite in the chat room, and I thought this site was for "REAL" swingers, but would welcome opinion.

noones stopping you informing friends via PM if you genuinely KNOW someone is fake, but then how do you define fake? how do you define "REAL" swingers?.
suppose i exchange pics with you, arrange a meet, decide suddenly you aren't for me because of something you said, and cancel it. so you're now free to name and shame me as a pic-collecting timewaster in public to all and sundry, simply because i decided to not meet you? confused

can you kinda see how that's open to abuse, and why it's a no no. it would be based on opinion, not fact, and would be more inflammatory than you can imagine. warn your friends by all means privately if you know it's true, but keep it off the site.
neil x x x ;)
Nicely put Neil
But are you feeling alright? I mean........................er..........it wasn't your usual old bollox! wink

:wink:
:grin: innocent

:whistling:

10 May 2005

i don't believe in naming and shaming cause you could be wrong and then those people will suffer, best keep it in private chat.

10 May 2005

Quote by RedHot
This has been discussed many many times and the outcome is always the same - NO we won't ever have name and shame on this site.
It's open to abuse by vindicitve people and can only lead to problems for all of us
Tracy-Jayne

^^^ what she said ^^^

10 May 2005

Oh FGS!!..... CatnPaul we had this discussion in a PM tonight and I said that we would not allow this to happen.... You were told the reasons why....
What you said to me did not convince me that these people were timewasters nor were they pic collectors..... Like I said there could have been many reasons as to why they decided to delete you from their MSN, and that alone is not a reason to go around accusing people of being time wasters or pic collectors....
Your apparent attempt to stir things up is not appreciated especially as I pointed out to you that there was no proof that they were time wasters/pic collectors....
I did wonder at the time as to whether what I was saying was actually sinking in but obviously it hasn't rolleyes

You have no concrete proof CatnPaul so now is the time to shut up!!
Shireen

10 May 2005

Catand Paul
Can I just resurect an earlier post that I personally feel goes some way to dissmissing the need to name and shame and the possible dangers involved..

Quote by the_Laird
We had a rather unfortunate one recently with a couple. They responded to our profile / add with a few lines about themselves and a couple of face pics.
Looked and, more importantly for us, sounded nice so we replied to the email with some facial pics of ourselves.
Nice reply, want to chat on MSN? was the next question.
So onto MSN we go. Quick cam on to prove the couple thing then switched off. Not really big on the cam thing when it's a new contact and besides it slows down the chat
Started off good, general chit chat, a bit about each other etc then......
Them - "Right get your cam on"
Us - "Eh, not yet, not really big on the cam thing"
Them - "Come on, look heres us" Their cam goes on......
Us - "Very nice, now as we were saying....."
Them - "Just get your cam on, what are you scared off?"
Us - "We'd rather get to know you a bit better first thanks"
Them - "Well this isn't going to work. WE only play with real swingers blah blah blah...."
and off on a rant they go, while still trying to get us to cam with them.
Basically, we were accused of being fakes / not genuine and were advised to have a good think about wether or not we were ready for a swinging lifestyle
All because we wouldn't "indulge" them
Note : the delete contacts button IS your friend
Now as some of you know, we are quite shy But there are a few who could "vouch" for our authenticity
For us, the important thing is to get to know people first via things like the forum, MSN and the good old fashioned phone call.
We, and this is only our personal preference, wouldn't entertain an ad with the immortal "dont want endless emails etc etc"
Thats just OUR swinging lifestyle, pushy people dont fit into our party plan

I'm not for a minute saying that you are anything like the people we spoke of but can you see the point I'm trying to make.
IF these people were members here and IF we reacted in the way we did.........
Should we be classed as fakes or picture collectors???

10 May 2005

I agree with Mr InLeeds on this. Naming and shaming is open to abuse. As Neil said - you may think someone is a time waster just becuase thay took the time to get to know you (anyone - sorry - not having a go at you individually), exchanged pics and then decided that you didn't "click". So then you have the opportunity to say that they are timewasters. Nah- I don't think so.
Everyone has individual views on what warrants timewasting and to "name and shame" on subjective views is just "not on" in my opinion.
aRSexx :color:

11 May 2005

report this ad,works well enough
but you will always get some who want to spoil it for the masses

11 May 2005

Quote by Shireen_Mids
Oh FGS!!..... CatnPaul we had this discussion in a PM tonight and I said that we would not allow this to happen.... You were told the reasons why....
What you said to me did not convince me that these people were timewasters nor were they pic collectors..... Like I said there could have been many reasons as to why they decided to delete you from their MSN, and that alone is not a reason to go around accusing people of being time wasters or pic collectors....
Your apparent attempt to stir things up is not appreciated especially as I pointed out to you that there was no proof that they were time wasters/pic collectors....
I did wonder at the time as to whether what I was saying was actually sinking in but obviously it hasn't
You have no concrete proof CatnPaul so now is the time to shut up!!
Shireen

erm sorry but I was was just asking the question I never mentioned who they was. But seems we are not allowed to asked now adays, I was simply asking for other peoples opinions where

11 May 2005

But you DID ask in the chatroom and were told site policy. It's the same here. And you were told the reasons why.
And now you bring to the public forum??? :shock: :shock:
rolleyes

11 May 2005

Quote by catnpaul
Oh FGS!!..... CatnPaul we had this discussion in a PM tonight and I said that we would not allow this to happen.... You were told the reasons why....
What you said to me did not convince me that these people were timewasters nor were they pic collectors..... Like I said there could have been many reasons as to why they decided to delete you from their MSN, and that alone is not a reason to go around accusing people of being time wasters or pic collectors....
Your apparent attempt to stir things up is not appreciated especially as I pointed out to you that there was no proof that they were time wasters/pic collectors....
I did wonder at the time as to whether what I was saying was actually sinking in but obviously it hasn't
You have no concrete proof CatnPaul so now is the time to shut up!!
Shireen

erm sorry but I was was just asking the question I never mentioned who they was. But seems we are not allowed to asked now adays, I was simply asking for other peoples opinions where
uuummm . . . sorry . . . but that was uncalled for, cos you have in fact been "allowed to ask" and you've had the opinions of others you asked for in your initial post, so how exactly is this a "seems we are not allowed to ask nowadays" thing? dunno

neil x x x ;)

11 May 2005

I would suggest you get on with enjoying this site as there ARE plenty of people who are genuine and not it could fester inside your head and make you go stir crazy.

11 May 2005

pb4u very good point

11 May 2005

Quote by Jags
But you DID ask in the chatroom and were told site policy. It's the same here. And you were told the reasons why.
And now you bring to the public forum??? :shock: :shock:

Still the old 'so what' comes to mind. I quite enjoyed reading through the points and seeing how we all agreed, was any real harm actually done? No don't answer that as it sounds like mod baiting which it isn't meant to be. Just it should be ok to ask the world in general what they think of a policy, otherwise how else would you lobby for change to said policy?...
Ok we discussed this before, and the mods views were completely vindicated by all the other members of the site, so why complain the question was asked? Oh damn sound like I mod baiting again, don't mean to, hell we all let off steam sometimes...
okies out of here bolt

11 May 2005

You've missed the point, but I don't blame you for that!
The point is that the people had had a protracted PM conversation with an Op about posting the name and shame and was given very clear comments about the the reasons why it was not going to be allowed. Not content with that they bring it here to ask the very same question! It's like they've asked Mum, she said no so they've gone to ask Dad!!
I have no problem with anyone's opinion but this is just plain stupid!
But, it's a sunny evening, I've got a friend and food coming shortly!!
lol

:lol:

11 May 2005

Quote by Jags
It's like they've asked Mum, she said no so they've gone to ask Dad!!

Put like that Jags who am I to argue (having 2 kids) biggrin

Quote by Jags
But, it's a sunny evening, I've got a friend and food coming shortly!!

Hope you enjoy the sun smile

11 May 2005

Quote by tallnhairy
It's like they've asked Mum, she said no so they've gone to ask Dad!!

Put like that Jags who am I to argue (having 2 kids) biggrin

Quote by Jags
But, it's a sunny evening, I've got a friend and food coming shortly!!

Hope you enjoy the sun smile

:kiss:

11 May 2005

Quote by Jags
:kiss:

ops:

11 May 2005

Quote by Jags
But, it's a sunny evening, I've got a friend and food coming shortly!!

Quote by TallandHairy
Hope you enjoy the sun

Bugger that, come back and tell us how you enjoyed the food and the friend :twisted: wink