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New meanings for old words...

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Here are a few alternative meanings to some common words....
Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up afteryou are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Any others?????
rolleyes
Here's one, just off the top of my head.
ORGANISM A very small orgasm
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
UNBECOMING...... Impotant
Quote by SarfLondoner
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

I resemble that remark :moon:
I found this old thread, and am able to add a few new ones:
euthanasia: young people in China
impending: death of a pixie
gastronome: flatulent elf
witchcraft: Ann Robinson's boat
rumination: Australia
nubile: recent speech by Ian Paisley
a la carte: Muslim wheelbarrow
lamentable: t'soonday roast is ready
(thanks to "Im Sorry I Haven't A Clue")
I was most miffed that they didn't play Mornington Crescent this week on ISIHAC. That's one of my favourite bits.
Quote by flapjackboy
I was most miffed that they didn't play Mornington Crescent this week on ISIHAC. That's one of my favourite bits.

Perhaps the satellite navigation equipment wasn't working. lol
One of my favourites from ISIHAC:
ERSATZ = A Somerset milliner.
Antidisestablishmentarian: White supremicist defending his local pub against nay-sayers.