Hi all
We discovered the site a little while back and were more than blown away by the content and quality, not to mention the price, of this site. It really is a fantastic tool for everyone interested in 'The Scene'.
But therein lies the problem. We've been advertising, and doing a little chatting on the forums, and *deep breath* it seems like if your not in the clique, you're not in the clique.
We're not stamping our feet, just expressing the fact that it seems hard to interact as a couple who don't want to be part of the social scene that goes along with swinging, and therefore it becomes hard to gain peoples confidence.
We were just wondering if anyone felt the same way, and if anyone has found a way round this?
This post is meant with all the respect in the world that do like socail aspect, more power to you, it just really isn't our thing
Thanks for reading
matt and jools
x
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Newbies looking for a little encouragement...
hi and welcome.
im single not a couple, so dont know what its like for a couple.
it looks as though youve been members for less than a month, i dont think most would consider this very long.
some people do look at site involvement to get a feeling for the person, others will go on what the ad says.
I guess it also depends on what your looking for.
i know this wont be of great help but give it time, its a great site, hope you have luck.
oh and you said"not to mention the price" there is NO price to be on this site???
xxxxxxxxx fem xxxxxxxxxx
im single not a couple, so dont know what its like for a couple.
it looks as though youve been members for less than a month, i dont think most would consider this very long.
some people do look at site involvement to get a feeling for the person, others will go on what the ad says.
I guess it also depends on what your looking for.
i know this wont be of great help but give it time, its a great site, hope you have luck.
oh and you said"not to mention the price" there is NO price to be on this site???
xxxxxxxxx fem xxxxxxxxxx
Quote by mattandjoolsi think im right in saying that alot on here do meet after getting to know others thru the social side of things and becoming regular users of the forums, We use the forums for the laugh and banter but do all our swinging at clubs,and if we do meet anyone from here then its always a meet in a club,, so we`re not the best qualified to answer your question. Give it time and im sure things will begin to happen. Good luck
Hi all
We discovered the site a little while back and were more than blown away by the content and quality, not to mention the price, of this site. It really is a fantastic tool for everyone interested in 'The Scene'.
But therein lies the problem. We've been advertising, and doing a little chatting on the forums, and *deep breath* it seems like if your not in the clique, you're not in the clique.
We're not stamping our feet, just expressing the fact that it seems hard to interact as a couple who don't want to be part of the social scene that goes along with swinging, and therefore it becomes hard to gain peoples confidence.
We were just wondering if anyone felt the same way, and if anyone has found a way round this?
This post is meant with all the respect in the world that do like socail aspect, more power to you, it just really isn't our thing
Thanks for reading
matt and jools
x
. Quote by fem_4_taboo
oh and you said"not to mention the price" there is NO price to be on this site???
xxxxxxxxx fem xxxxxxxxxx
I think that's what they meant!
You don't have to physically socialise with us, just join in the chatroom or the forums. Most of us like to get to know who we fuck, just a leetle.
I'm not sure if 'clique' is the correct word to describe what forms on this site. By that I mean that we do tend to meet up for other occasions that have little, or nothing at all, to do with sexual encounters.
The munches are relatively sex free (unless Marc can get someone into the toilets
), the social meets are just that, a gathering in a pub where we get to meet each other for a good old chat and a drink.
Some of us even went golfing a couple of weeks ago, and despite all the lovely soft sand that was scattered about, there wasn't one single sexual encounter :lol:
And then of course, there is the full-on sex parties where everyone is just up for the occasion. Either in clubs or in someones house.
What I think I'm saying is that there is more to our lifestyles than just sex with us. We get together for all sorts of meetings and gatherings. Maybe it doesn't suit everyone, but it certainly doesn't do any harm.
For me personally, the ads have been a failure. Just glad it cost me nowt :lol: :lol:
The way to meet people here is through the chatroom, the forum and then the Munches.
I would hesitate in shagging a complete stranger and I dare say I am not alone in this philosophy. My message to you is get to know some people first.
Build it - and they will come.
Thats me done, just gonna down a few more Carlings before bed :lol: :lol:
The munches are relatively sex free (unless Marc can get someone into the toilets
), the social meets are just that, a gathering in a pub where we get to meet each other for a good old chat and a drink. Some of us even went golfing a couple of weeks ago, and despite all the lovely soft sand that was scattered about, there wasn't one single sexual encounter :lol:
And then of course, there is the full-on sex parties where everyone is just up for the occasion. Either in clubs or in someones house.
What I think I'm saying is that there is more to our lifestyles than just sex with us. We get together for all sorts of meetings and gatherings. Maybe it doesn't suit everyone, but it certainly doesn't do any harm.
For me personally, the ads have been a failure. Just glad it cost me nowt :lol: :lol:
The way to meet people here is through the chatroom, the forum and then the Munches.
I would hesitate in shagging a complete stranger and I dare say I am not alone in this philosophy. My message to you is get to know some people first.
Build it - and they will come.
Thats me done, just gonna down a few more Carlings before bed :lol: :lol:
Mod
Quote by mattandjools
Hi all
We discovered the site a little while back and were more than blown away by the content and quality, not to mention the price, of this site. It really is a fantastic tool for everyone interested in 'The Scene'.
But therein lies the problem. We've been advertising, and doing a little chatting on the forums, and *deep breath* it seems like if your not in the clique, you're not in the clique.
We're not stamping our feet, just expressing the fact that it seems hard to interact as a couple who don't want to be part of the social scene that goes along with swinging, and therefore it becomes hard to gain peoples confidence.
We were just wondering if anyone felt the same way, and if anyone has found a way round this?
This post is meant with all the respect in the world that do like socail aspect, more power to you, it just really isn't our thing
Thanks for reading
matt and jools
x
Hi guys
I'm not really sure what you are asking here. You seem to be saying that you want to meet people for sex, but are not keen on getting to know them first, is that right? :shock:
........... a couple who don't want to be part of the social scene that goes along with swinging, and therefore it becomes hard to gain peoples confidence.
In your ad, you are looking for a Bi girl to meet up and have a few beers and then maybe a club. Isn't that just being social and getting to know someone first to see if you're compatible?
you've asked for some form of verification from them, to ensure they're not a timewaster. None of these requests are a problem or wrong, but what happens on here covers all those areas. By meeting up with other members socially, we meet you and see if you're the sort of people we would like to swing with (I'm talking generally as I know you're looking for a Bi female) and you meet us and can discover the same.
You've only been here less than two weeks and have only posted ten times. It doesn't happen overnight and it isn't easy. You have to work at it. Sometimes you can strike lucky. I personally know of two guys who had meets from their very first post, but that was more luck than anything else.
Nobody likes timewasters and we have found that by being more sociable and ignoring the sex side of it, we meet people that perhaps we might like to swing with at some time in the future. We also meet people we know we wouldn't swing with as well. But the pressure is off, as it's only a social meet, so you can relax and discover who you are more compatible with.
If your aim is all about the sex, then you are adding extra pressure on yourself to get it and get it now. Take your time, it will come and you'll probably enjoy it all the more for it!
good luck with your journey.
Mal
Sex God
Quote by mattandjools
it seems hard to interact as a couple who don't want to be part of the social scene that goes along with swinging, and therefore it becomes hard to gain peoples confidence.
x
Yes - yer dead right it is hard. It's like all things in life - you've got to put something in to get something out. That doesn't mean you've got to reach life-long buddy status before most here would consider having sex with you but at the same time not many would walk into a bar and shag the first person they meet (unless it was a life-long buddy of course!)
If you got to know people on here and in the process they got to know you and you didn't come across as plonkers then you'd have a real chance. I think couples are a very valued part of this site - so you've got a lot going for you for starters.
Oh, and by the way 'clique' is the wrong word - don't go there!!
Sex God
Quote by Vix
oh and you said"not to mention the price" there is NO price to be on this site???
xxxxxxxxx fem xxxxxxxxxx
.....Most of us like to get to know who we fuck, just a leetle.
Vix, you potty mouth
and i thought you were such a nice girl 
Warming the Bed
Being fairly new members, but on the other hand veiwing the site for over 6 months, we found that there are soooo many permitations (makes me sound intelligent now doesn't it), of finding the "right" couple that you just have to keep looking. Also with the number of arseholes that bug you from this site it's not suprising that newcomers are dealt with a bit more orspitiously (don't know if I've spelt it rite).
Don't get disheartened and don't give up, because we need as many real peple on this site as possible. (Am I right, mods?).
Don't get disheartened and don't give up, because we need as many real peple on this site as possible. (Am I right, mods?).
Quote by mattandjools
just expressing the fact that it seems hard to interact as a couple who don't want to be part of the social scene that goes along with swinging, and therefore it becomes hard to gain peoples confidence.
but the only way you can gain peoples confidence is to meet them and if your only willing to meet people you want sex with then your going to have a problem.
You say you don't want to be part of the social scene, which is fair enough, but a single woman has her safty to consider so why should she just go and meet a couple who nobody knows when she can go to a munch and have her pick of people she can have a drink with and chat to b4 hand?
As a couple looking for a single bi fem you really do have to make the extra effort, placing a add saying 'looking for bi fem' will get you nowhere it will just get lost amoung all the other adds looking for bi fems, most of the regular genuine people on this site don't even need to place a add when looking
Yeah we agree with Plumbpond - its not so much a "clique" as it is erring on the side of caution. We see it as a sign of a good site to be honest - it shows that there will always be a core of genuine people and notoriety (so to speak) has to be earned the right way, through time.
It's a community after all and participating in the community is somewhat of a pre-requisite.
It's a community after all and participating in the community is somewhat of a pre-requisite.
plumbpond and 3someinpreston -
I don't know if I said hello and welcome to the asylum in your first few threads.
BUT . . . . .
"Hello - and welcome to the asylum"
Your comments and perceived attitudes are a breath of fresh air.
(as in myperception of yourattitudes )
I hope you all settle in here, find what you seek and have a complete ball.
I don't know if I said hello and welcome to the asylum in your first few threads.
BUT . . . . .
"Hello - and welcome to the asylum"
Your comments and perceived attitudes are a breath of fresh air.
(as in myperception of yourattitudes )
I hope you all settle in here, find what you seek and have a complete ball.
Quote by mattandjools
.... *deep breath* it seems like if your not in the clique, you're not in the clique.
x
Don't worry about it - if you look at the number of members and then count the clique - you will see that the clique are the minority group.
As for the encouragement........
Go Newbies.. Go Newbies.. Go Newbies.. Go Newbies.. (in a Ricki Lake stylie!)
thanks for that
like i said, we weren't having a whinge or criticise the way people do things, hopefully the site is built on an open-minded ethos that it takes all sorts to make a world. Just wanted to put the feelers out to see if anyone else felt the same way, and possibly finda way around the feelings that we have.
I think a lot of it is that I get the feeling (though I may be wrong, and therefore expect a barrage of good-natured abuse) we as a couple lead a different lifestyle to most of the regular users of this site. We are more likely to be found dabbling in chemical refreshments and dancing all night rather than having a good old time in a pub. Not your average way of letting your hair down, but we just find clubs and bars (and the lifestyle that goes with them) more to our taste. A lot of people will be against that kind of thing, and we accept that, as we hope you would accept us.
I'm trying to make the point that we wouldn't feel comfortable meeting everyone in a setting that would feel fairly alien to us, thus making us act differently to the way we usually do, which isn't going to help us or peoples perceptions of us.
Is there anyone else out there that feels this way? Maybe your lifestyle is more geared towards swinging whereby you would meet on your own "playing field"?
like i said, we weren't having a whinge or criticise the way people do things, hopefully the site is built on an open-minded ethos that it takes all sorts to make a world. Just wanted to put the feelers out to see if anyone else felt the same way, and possibly finda way around the feelings that we have.
I think a lot of it is that I get the feeling (though I may be wrong, and therefore expect a barrage of good-natured abuse) we as a couple lead a different lifestyle to most of the regular users of this site. We are more likely to be found dabbling in chemical refreshments and dancing all night rather than having a good old time in a pub. Not your average way of letting your hair down, but we just find clubs and bars (and the lifestyle that goes with them) more to our taste. A lot of people will be against that kind of thing, and we accept that, as we hope you would accept us.
I'm trying to make the point that we wouldn't feel comfortable meeting everyone in a setting that would feel fairly alien to us, thus making us act differently to the way we usually do, which isn't going to help us or peoples perceptions of us.
Is there anyone else out there that feels this way? Maybe your lifestyle is more geared towards swinging whereby you would meet on your own "playing field"?
Quote by mattandjools
thanks for that
like i said, we weren't having a whinge or criticise the way people do things, hopefully the site is built on an open-minded ethos that it takes all sorts to make a world. Just wanted to put the feelers out to see if anyone else felt the same way, and possibly finda way around the feelings that we have.
I think a lot of it is that I get the feeling (though I may be wrong, and therefore expect a barrage of good-natured abuse) we as a couple lead a different lifestyle to most of the regular users of this site. We are more likely to be found dabbling in chemical refreshments and dancing all night rather than having a good old time in a pub. Not your average way of letting your hair down, but we just find clubs and bars (and the lifestyle that goes with them) more to our taste. A lot of people will be against that kind of thing, and we accept that, as we hope you would accept us.
I'm trying to make the point that we wouldn't feel comfortable meeting everyone in a setting that would feel fairly alien to us, thus making us act differently to the way we usually do, which isn't going to help us or peoples perceptions of us.
Is there anyone else out there that feels this way? Maybe your lifestyle is more geared towards swinging whereby you would meet on your own "playing field"?
My answer would be 'Fuck Um' (not literally of course - well may be). :twisted:
Who cares how many people don't think you are their cup of tea - there are 1000's of people out there (or in here - whichever way you look at it). Be yourself and eventually you will find people that fit with you and vice versa. Bollocks to what the vocal minority think and feel - they can only speak for themselves (as I can).
My signature was once - "I am what I am and if you don't like it - well I don't want to shag you anyway!". I live by the principles that signature was based on:
Don't pretend to be something you are not just to please someone else
If we don't get on - it is no big deal, there are plenty more fish in the sea
Being honest to others as well as to myself (in what I say and do)
Be different, don't be silent if you disagree, be honest, be yourself. It is better than being a sheep!
Good luck!
