Portentia Turnip-Blower.
I've never seen the point of having a pseudonym that is entirely bland. I mean would you be moved to read something written by Clive Smethurst?
Froyling Pound-Scrote III.
However if I really had to choose one, I'd steal one from one of my favourite TV Shows, something like :
Arthur Pewty, Conrad Pooh or Mr Luxury Yacht ("No it's spelt Luxury Yacht, but it's pronounced Throat Wobbler Mangrove...")
I'll shut up now...
God, we moved in different worlds didn't we?
At 7 you were thinking about a literary career and a suitable nom de plumes...
I was happily sitting in the gutter trying to shove Spangles up each nostril so I could pretend to be a monster and frighten my younger brother.
One of the coffee houses around here asks you for your name, which they then call out when your coffee's ready.
We treat it as a great opportunity to try out different false names - sometimes ones that will eventually rhyme ('Fairtrade for Sinéad'), and sometimes the beautiful, famous, ridiculous, etc.
One friend did let the side down rather with 'Mike Hunt', though thankfully they only called, 'Hot chocolate for Mike'.
That sounds very posh indeed Lovely One, we did a similar thing in Florida one time. On the ET ride they ask you for your names and punch it in to a computer so that at the end of the ride, ET says goodbye to you personally. I've been on it several times and been "Homer", "Darth" but the funniest was last time when I went on with the kids and they all gave their names in and it came to me and I just remembered Nursey from Black Adder so I said "Bernard".
The kids were practically hysterical when ET said a teary goodbye to Bernard.
The best thing is though, the people putting the names into the computer don't flinch an inch when you give them some false name to put in. One time we did it we had Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie and Barney. Not a flicker.
I'm scared if I tell them my real name, they'll laugh at me and say "don't be f**king ridiculous!"
Apparently to find your pornstar alias you take the name of your first pet and the streeetname of where you live.
makes me Brandy Coral.