Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

Noms de plume

last reply
12 replies
830 views
0 watchers
0 likes
When I was younger I really wanted to be a best-selling author (note the money-grabbing ambition - not Nobel or Pulitzer prize winning... just best-selling! rolleyes) The thing is, I decided that I didn't like my name enough and would have to have a pen name.
So, I thought long and hard about what would be my nom de plume when my glittering literary career went ahead and do you know what I came up with?
Lydia Russell.
:doh: FFS... You'd have thought I'd have been a tad more imaginative but no, for several years that was going to be the name I wrote under. (I even practised the signature.)
Then I realised writing was hard work and the likelihood of being a money-making, best-selling author was slim to none so I decided I wanted to be an actress instead :roll: (I was about 9 at this point wink)
The point to this preamble is simple: were you to need a nom de plume or other sort of professional alias, what would it be?
Portentia Turnip-Blower.
I've never seen the point of having a pseudonym that is entirely bland. I mean would you be moved to read something written by Clive Smethurst?
Froyling Pound-Scrote III.
However if I really had to choose one, I'd steal one from one of my favourite TV Shows, something like :
Arthur Pewty, Conrad Pooh or Mr Luxury Yacht ("No it's spelt Luxury Yacht, but it's pronounced Throat Wobbler Mangrove...")
I'll shut up now...
No I agree: mortified that all I came up with was Lydia Russell :doh: but at the age of 7 it sounded terribly glam to me... redface
God, we moved in different worlds didn't we?
At 7 you were thinking about a literary career and a suitable nom de plumes...
I was happily sitting in the gutter trying to shove Spangles up each nostril so I could pretend to be a monster and frighten my younger brother.
Quote by Resonance
God, we moved in different worlds didn't we?
At 7 you were thinking about a literary career and a suitable nom de plumes...
I was happily sitting in the gutter trying to shove Spangles up each nostril so I could pretend to be a monster and frighten my younger brother.

rotflmao at junior school my career ambitions were as follows: author, actress, ambassador and anthropologist
rolleyes Oh how the mighty have fallen! wink
Quote by noladreams
God, we moved in different worlds didn't we?
At 7 you were thinking about a literary career and a suitable nom de plumes...
I was happily sitting in the gutter trying to shove Spangles up each nostril so I could pretend to be a monster and frighten my younger brother.

rotflmao at junior school my career ambitions were as follows: author, actress, ambassador and anthropologist
rolleyes Oh how the mighty have fallen! wink
Youd dictionaries only had the "A" section in then?
At seven my ambitions were : 1. Eat sweets.
2. Beat up my brother, 3. Play football, 4. Repeat steps 1-3 until well.. you are about 28.
One of the coffee houses around here asks you for your name, which they then call out when your coffee's ready.
We treat it as a great opportunity to try out different false names - sometimes ones that will eventually rhyme ('Fairtrade for Sinéad'), and sometimes the beautiful, famous, ridiculous, etc.
One friend did let the side down rather with 'Mike Hunt', though thankfully they only called, 'Hot chocolate for Mike'.
That sounds very posh indeed Lovely One, we did a similar thing in Florida one time. On the ET ride they ask you for your names and punch it in to a computer so that at the end of the ride, ET says goodbye to you personally. I've been on it several times and been "Homer", "Darth" but the funniest was last time when I went on with the kids and they all gave their names in and it came to me and I just remembered Nursey from Black Adder so I said "Bernard".
The kids were practically hysterical when ET said a teary goodbye to Bernard.
The best thing is though, the people putting the names into the computer don't flinch an inch when you give them some false name to put in. One time we did it we had Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie and Barney. Not a flicker.
I'm scared if I tell them my real name, they'll laugh at me and say "don't be f**king ridiculous!"
Quote by TheLovelyOne
One of the coffee houses around here asks you for your name, which they then call out when your coffee's ready.
We treat it as a great opportunity to try out different false names - sometimes ones that will eventually rhyme ('Fairtrade for Sinéad'), and sometimes the beautiful, famous, ridiculous, etc.
One friend did let the side down rather with 'Mike Hunt', though thankfully they only called, 'Hot chocolate for Mike'.

lol We used to do something similar when some of my friends and I went fruit picking in the summer holidays. One of my friends claimed he was down on the wages list as A. Bollock...he might have been exaggerating though. rolleyes
Quote by noladreams
The point to this preamble is simple: were you to need a nom de plume or other sort of professional alias, what would it be?

I have one, but I've started writing so I can't tell you! :giggle:
Apparently to find your pornstar alias you take the name of your first pet and the streeetname of where you live.
makes me Brandy Coral.
Quote by Kazsc
Apparently to find your pornstar alias you take the name of your first pet and the streeetname of where you live.
makes me Brandy Coral.

I believe this was a ruse by unscrupulous people to establish your password and address!