hiya how are you all?
well i know this has sod all to do with swinging but im hoping for any advice here.
we have just had an uninvited lodger move in (i.e stepson) who before i carry on is nearly seventeen.
well ive heard of lazy but he treats the house like a hotel (dirty towels in bathroom, dirty clothes left on floor for me to pick up), even though ive been with is dad for nine years nothing has prepared me for having a teenager in the house :cry:
i spend all day running round after him and unfortunatly have had my time on here cut right back ( yes im suffering really bad withdrawal symptons ).
does anyone have any advice or been in a similar situation that can offer any advice? no good talking to his dad he thinks he's an angel ( causing few arguments believe me).
like i said all advice greatly recieved ,
love lou x
p.s sorry for the moan i am a nice person really lol
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nothing to do with swinging!!!!
Sex God
Simple answer is - DON'T run around after him! He'll soon realise that in order to get clean, his clothes need to at least be taken to the laundry basket. Don't iron anything, don't let him eat upstairs. Stick to your guns and he'll come around, I guarantee it!
Having lived through 4 teenagers,(2 of them not my own) ACCEPT IT!!
Get used to it, but dont end up as an unpaid maid. I guess he has his own room, so all you do is tip all his mess in his room. You probalby wont be able to get through his bedroom door, but that is his problem not his.
Always assure yourself that he will either grow up or leave home.
Encourage him to get a job -even if only part time, so he has some self respect - and insist on certain basics, like he phones to let you know if he isnt coming home, also that he does some jobs around the home.
Other than that best advice is to make sure you are a friend to him and that you talk regularly, not always easy I know.
Good luck and remember by the time hes 30 all this will be over!!
Get used to it, but dont end up as an unpaid maid. I guess he has his own room, so all you do is tip all his mess in his room. You probalby wont be able to get through his bedroom door, but that is his problem not his.
Always assure yourself that he will either grow up or leave home.
Encourage him to get a job -even if only part time, so he has some self respect - and insist on certain basics, like he phones to let you know if he isnt coming home, also that he does some jobs around the home.
Other than that best advice is to make sure you are a friend to him and that you talk regularly, not always easy I know.
Good luck and remember by the time hes 30 all this will be over!!
I competely agree with FB , I've watched enough "child development" programs to know if you give young people rules and boundries they soon adapt and respect them. May be tough to start with as he will, no doubt, test your boundries but at the end of the day he is the one who is hungry and wearing smelly clothes 
:D
:D 
Orgasminator
Quote by Freckledbird
Simple answer is - DON'T run around after him! He'll soon realise that in order to egt clean, his clothes need to at least be taken to the laundry basket. Don't iron anything, don't let him eat upstairs. Stick to your guns and he'll come around, I guarantee it!
:thumbup: where's the applause smilie gone when you need it
Or promise to take him swinging if he cleans up his act
draw up some house rules..........for all of you.
ie... you will cook... but only if he keeps clean and tidy or you will respect him.....if he respects the house.
failing that, i would leave his mess for a few days and wait for your partner to notice it..... simply go on strike... no arguments.......... let them both see how much of a difference you make... theyll be begging for you to "return"... then impose the rules...
have you ever watched " from teen terrors to teen angels"?
good luck
ie... you will cook... but only if he keeps clean and tidy or you will respect him.....if he respects the house.
failing that, i would leave his mess for a few days and wait for your partner to notice it..... simply go on strike... no arguments.......... let them both see how much of a difference you make... theyll be begging for you to "return"... then impose the rules...
have you ever watched " from teen terrors to teen angels"?
good luck
With my two (although younger than your stepson), I tend to shove anything left lying about, that they've used/worn/eaten, into their rooms and shut the door
Any washing up he brings down (if it's in bulk), if he doesn't do it, the shove it straight back in his room!
Also, quit doing his washing and ironing - he's old enough to be doing stuff like that for himself!!!!
Set a rule that one night a week he cooks the tea. By all means get the shopping in that he needs, but leave him to the kitchen stuff.
None of that, in my eyes, is being mean - it's getting him used to standing on his own two feet. Also giving him the practice of stuff he will need to know once he's moved out.
If your partner kicks up, then give him your side of the story - tell him that, although a very welcome and loved member of the household, he is old enough, and should be encouraged to stand on his own two feet, he doesn't need pampering............ Then ask him for an alternative solution that doesn't include you being treated like a servant!
Any washing up he brings down (if it's in bulk), if he doesn't do it, the shove it straight back in his room!
Also, quit doing his washing and ironing - he's old enough to be doing stuff like that for himself!!!!
Set a rule that one night a week he cooks the tea. By all means get the shopping in that he needs, but leave him to the kitchen stuff.
None of that, in my eyes, is being mean - it's getting him used to standing on his own two feet. Also giving him the practice of stuff he will need to know once he's moved out.
If your partner kicks up, then give him your side of the story - tell him that, although a very welcome and loved member of the household, he is old enough, and should be encouraged to stand on his own two feet, he doesn't need pampering............ Then ask him for an alternative solution that doesn't include you being treated like a servant!
omg... can i send him to you one by one to learn him a lesson? 
the trouble in my house is i cant stand mess ( think ive got ocd) and he knows it i've tried setting some rules but as his dad works away all week he just takes the mickey. he comes in when he wants and basically does what he wants its a total nightmare at the moment and because im only twelve years older than him and not his mother as he keeps pointing out he can do as he pleases. i think its the lack of respect that gets to me.
found my first grey hair last week is that the sign of things to come?
thank you all for your advice and if i disappear just look towars the local looney bin i am sure you'll find me there lol.
love lou xxxx
the trouble in my house is i cant stand mess ( think ive got ocd) and he knows it i've tried setting some rules but as his dad works away all week he just takes the mickey. he comes in when he wants and basically does what he wants its a total nightmare at the moment and because im only twelve years older than him and not his mother as he keeps pointing out he can do as he pleases. i think its the lack of respect that gets to me.
found my first grey hair last week is that the sign of things to come?
thank you all for your advice and if i disappear just look towars the local looney bin i am sure you'll find me there lol.
love lou xxxx
Sex God
Send him back to his mother, or 'phone her and ask what she does!
Your age is irrelevant; it's YOUR home first - he'll be leaving it. If he doesn't come in at a reasonable time, lock him out. Let him call the police, they'll have very little sympathy. You can do as you please - that of course would only include doing what you need to do for yourself. Grit your teeth and go on strike, let them see that you mean it.
Good luck
Your age is irrelevant; it's YOUR home first - he'll be leaving it. If he doesn't come in at a reasonable time, lock him out. Let him call the police, they'll have very little sympathy. You can do as you please - that of course would only include doing what you need to do for yourself. Grit your teeth and go on strike, let them see that you mean it.
Good luck
Sex God
Quote by 4playinc
Send him back to his mother, or 'phone her and ask what she does!
:cry: this is probably why she got shot of him in the first place
That's what my hubby just said
Sex God
Quote by DeeCee
go on strike,
OMG.... we agree on something
:happy: :happy:
Oh DC don't be so touchy - I only made comments about your thread. It's forgotten
Sex God
I won't find out - as you said, we're unlikely to meet.
Even though we already have, at the Hudds munch in June.
Even though we already have, at the Hudds munch in June.
Quote by Freckledbird
I won't find out - as you said, we're unlikely to meet.
Even though we already have, at the Hudds munch in June.
well i was referring to "meeting" in the :twisted: sense..........
ill buy you a bevvy at a munch tho..... no problem
or you can :kick: me for being a cheeky bugger ......
My other half moved in with me last year, after living at home where his mam did everything, yes, most of the washing magically gets done - but if he leaves it lying around the house I "assume it's clean" and it gets put back in his wardrobe.
In the past I've lived in flat shares with people who have littered the living area with their dirty dishes and other clutter - I used to pick it up and dump it in the entrance of their rooms.
It takes a while - but they get the message eventually, and start clearing up after themselves.
As for staying out all hours - if he's 17 there isn't much you can do about that (I'd left home by that age), but if you can't settle until you know where he is, try saying that for security you want to lock up properly at a certain time - if he intends staying out later, but wants to come home, ring you to let you know or the door will be locked and bolted/key left in door so he won't be able to get in. That way you can go to bed knowing the house is secure and aren't listening out for any little noise wondering wether it is him or an intruder. He may be more receptive if he thinks you aren't just asking to be nosey/checking up on him (in his eyes) - but are worried about being in the house alone.
Be prepared for several more years of this, I have several male friends in their mid to late 20's, who still live at home, and you could be describing any one of them!
Les x
In the past I've lived in flat shares with people who have littered the living area with their dirty dishes and other clutter - I used to pick it up and dump it in the entrance of their rooms.
It takes a while - but they get the message eventually, and start clearing up after themselves.
As for staying out all hours - if he's 17 there isn't much you can do about that (I'd left home by that age), but if you can't settle until you know where he is, try saying that for security you want to lock up properly at a certain time - if he intends staying out later, but wants to come home, ring you to let you know or the door will be locked and bolted/key left in door so he won't be able to get in. That way you can go to bed knowing the house is secure and aren't listening out for any little noise wondering wether it is him or an intruder. He may be more receptive if he thinks you aren't just asking to be nosey/checking up on him (in his eyes) - but are worried about being in the house alone.
Be prepared for several more years of this, I have several male friends in their mid to late 20's, who still live at home, and you could be describing any one of them!
Les x
Sex God
Quote by couple_ne2000
Be prepared for several more years of this, I have several male friends in their mid to late 20's, who still live at home, and you could be describing any one of them!
Les x
That's the fault of their mothers - and it's making it worse for any female they set up home with.
My son is 14, daughter 16 and they both know that if they don't put it to the wash, it doesn't get washed. My son learned after he got a detention for not having PE kit (which was still on his bedroom floor the night before his PE lesson).
They tidy their own rooms - if they take food/drinks upstairs they bring the dirty dishes back down. Sometimes there's more than one, but they do it. I have better things to do than pick up after teenagers who are old enough to know better. Anyone who's met them will tell you that they are polite and respectful, so it's obviously not hurt them.
Sex God
Quote by wxmcpl
thanks FB but as you have noticed 'mother' kicked him out for being flippin lazy. i am going to have a go at being strong and assertive today so wish me luck ( and if you hear off anyone in the wrexham area being carted off you know its only me).
love Lou xxx
:shock: but Dad thinks he's an angel?
Let Dad clean up after him then!
Good luck
hi
just wanted to say big thanks for everyones advice, i listened and i learned. ok i spent a whole week of living in a pig sty but i was informed yesterday that my stepson is moving back in with his mother ( i think the fact that he had no clean clothes here had a lot to do with it). F.B. you were right i admit lol and i am now walking around a very clean house with a big smile on my face. he still comes here weekends but eh two outta seven isnt that bad!!!
anyway thanks again to all
lou xxx
just wanted to say big thanks for everyones advice, i listened and i learned. ok i spent a whole week of living in a pig sty but i was informed yesterday that my stepson is moving back in with his mother ( i think the fact that he had no clean clothes here had a lot to do with it). F.B. you were right i admit lol and i am now walking around a very clean house with a big smile on my face. he still comes here weekends but eh two outta seven isnt that bad!!!
anyway thanks again to all
lou xxx
