A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why is he staring. He replies, "I have a question to ask
you, but I don't want to offend you."She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me.
When you're as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you
get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's
nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
The cabbie says, "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to
be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited
and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic!" "OK" the Nun says. "Pull
into the next alley." The Nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that
would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab
driver starts crying. "My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"
The cabbie replies, "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied. I must
confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK, my
name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
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Nun Joke
Casanova
:laughabove: bloody hell its Friday again, what the hell am I doing still working. Anyway here is my "Fridays joke" inspired by above.A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight.
"This is exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person. Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. "This is fantastic," thought the gentleman. "I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance."
Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the gentleman and said, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'u-n-t'?"
Only one word leapt to mind. "My goodness," thought the gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another." The gentleman thought for quite a while, then it hit him. Turning to the pope, the gentleman said, "I think you're looking for the word 'aunt'."
"Of course," said the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?"
Sex God
this 1 is short but funny i think
2 nuns riding down the road on their bikes
1 of the nuns says to the other i've never come this way before
the other replies me niether it must be the cobble stones
2 nuns riding down the road on their bikes
1 of the nuns says to the other i've never come this way before
the other replies me niether it must be the cobble stones
Casanova
I have officially finished work for the day :happy:
I have a beer open :cheers:
and I have my Friday feeling :bounce:
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his willy hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed.
"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till lunchtime, she'd come and pick me up from school."
I have a beer open :cheers:
and I have my Friday feeling :bounce:
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his willy hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed.
"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till lunchtime, she'd come and pick me up from school."
Casanova
Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of White Plains, NY, in a pumpkin patch. Davidson was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.
The suspect stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't." he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.
Davidson continued that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need".
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the White Plains police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. "I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?"
He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin!? Damn... is it midnight already?"
The suspect stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't." he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.
Davidson continued that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need".
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the White Plains police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. "I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?"
He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin!? Damn... is it midnight already?"
