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Sex God
not owning up to any thing unless my solicitor is present 
Police and Bods at SH Towers have issued the following statement:
Following the theft of SH and it's contents last night, we can confirm that, thanks to the newly installed CCTV at SH Towers, a positive identification of the culrit has been made. The dastardly thief tried to escape with over 285,000 photos and documents containing the details of forthcoming munches and socials. However, he was disturbed in the process of downloading ShaznTony's vast video collection and escaped emptyhanded.
We believe him to be between 6' and 7' tall and aged anywhere from 70 to 150. Morbidly obese and weighing approx 400lb he is described as having a 'rather large sherry and mince pie gut'. He was last seen dressed in a red suit with white fur trim, black boots, red hat and with a long white beard which we believe to be false.
This man made his getaway on an open sleigh with the help of his 8 accomplices who seemed to be disguised as reindeer complete with antlers.
We cannot stress enough that this man is extremely dangerous. He will befriend anyone, has a charming smile and laugh and tricks children into telling him their address. He then breaks into the house through the chimney ( or louvre windows, whichever is easier ) and rummages through the house drinking all the sherry and eating the mince pies.
Please note, this man is extremely dangerous, his 'minders, are known to be 3rd Dan Blackbelts and can deliver a hefty kick to the nadgers when threatened. DO NOT APPROACH THIS MAN. If you see him, contact SH Towers immediately.
There is a reward for the arrest and conviction of this man and his minders ( 2 nights of 'pleasure' with the Bod of your choice )
Following the theft of SH and it's contents last night, we can confirm that, thanks to the newly installed CCTV at SH Towers, a positive identification of the culrit has been made. The dastardly thief tried to escape with over 285,000 photos and documents containing the details of forthcoming munches and socials. However, he was disturbed in the process of downloading ShaznTony's vast video collection and escaped emptyhanded.
We believe him to be between 6' and 7' tall and aged anywhere from 70 to 150. Morbidly obese and weighing approx 400lb he is described as having a 'rather large sherry and mince pie gut'. He was last seen dressed in a red suit with white fur trim, black boots, red hat and with a long white beard which we believe to be false.
This man made his getaway on an open sleigh with the help of his 8 accomplices who seemed to be disguised as reindeer complete with antlers.
We cannot stress enough that this man is extremely dangerous. He will befriend anyone, has a charming smile and laugh and tricks children into telling him their address. He then breaks into the house through the chimney ( or louvre windows, whichever is easier ) and rummages through the house drinking all the sherry and eating the mince pies.
Please note, this man is extremely dangerous, his 'minders, are known to be 3rd Dan Blackbelts and can deliver a hefty kick to the nadgers when threatened. DO NOT APPROACH THIS MAN. If you see him, contact SH Towers immediately.
There is a reward for the arrest and conviction of this man and his minders ( 2 nights of 'pleasure' with the Bod of your choice )
Quote by Sassy-Seren
We believe him to be between 6' and 7' tall and aged anywhere from 70 to 150. Morbidly obese and weighing approx 400lb he is described as having a 'rather large sherry and mince pie gut'. He was last seen dressed in a red suit with white fur trim, black boots, red hat and with a long white beard which we believe to be false.
the swine!
a repeat offender too I believe.... he was noted at his dastardly work about a year ago...possibly on previous occassions... beware of this fellow, a seasonal warning to one and all!
lp
Sex God
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: You lot crack me up :lol2:
Quote by Sassy-Seren
**UPDATE**
Police have arrested 3 men in connection with the theft of SH and they are being held in custody until 24th December for further questioning.
Devastating news, I know the identity of the so called SH thief. My mum's just reliably informed me....
It's my fuppin Dad... OMG the mucky Bastard!!
My world is in turmoil.
Sorry everyone
The recent new release must now be up datyed.
The 8 accomplices have now been proven to be well trained reindeer. They seem to be infected with some form of radiation. At least one reindeer's nose has started to glow in the dark. Government vets not not know if there is a public health risk. If any reindeer, practically one's with red noses are seen report them to your nearest police station.
Beware this new reindeer flew may make the jump to humans.
Quote by Sassy-Seren
Police and Bods at SH Towers have issued the following statement:
....
This man made his getaway on an open sleigh with the help of his 8 accomplices who seemed to be disguised as reindeer complete with antlers.
...
The 8 accomplices have now been proven to be well trained reindeer. They seem to be infected with some form of radiation. At least one reindeer's nose has started to glow in the dark. Government vets not not know if there is a public health risk. If any reindeer, practically one's with red noses are seen report them to your nearest police station.
Beware this new reindeer flew may make the jump to humans.
You have all got the wrong end of the stick..............................
...........the reason the site was absent last night is simple.....it went to the munch. :shock: Sick and tired of merely adverttising social events it decidied "why not go along and give one a go to see what it's like" So off the wigan it toddeled and tried all the usual antics, getting drunk. arse bareing and hopeless flirting..........then it stumbeled off home fell sleep on the sofa with a kebab and then woke up in a panic remembering it had forgot to put it's self back online
Quote by Shireen
............. and remember, offences like this are quite rare....
so........ please dont have nightmares...........
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: That just topped it all off for me :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
No, it'll be topped of when someone says "Keep 'em peeled"
:rotflmao:
Quote by sheddy
You have all got the wrong end of the stick..............................
...........the reason the site was absent last night is simple.....it went to the munch. :shock: Sick and tired of merely adverttising social events it decidied "why not go along and give one a go to see what it's like" So off the wigan it toddeled and tried all the usual antics, getting drunk. arse bareing and hopeless flirting..........then it stumbeled off home fell sleep on the sofa with a kebab and then woke up in a panic remembering it had forgot to put it's self back online
Nah, you're just talking about yourself now Sheddy
:rotflmao::rotflmao: Quote by Dawnie
You have all got the wrong end of the stick..............................
...........the reason the site was absent last night is simple.....it went to the munch. :shock: Sick and tired of merely adverttising social events it decidied "why not go along and give one a go to see what it's like" So off the wigan it toddeled and tried all the usual antics, getting drunk. arse bareing and hopeless flirting..........then it stumbeled off home fell sleep on the sofa with a kebab and then woke up in a panic remembering it had forgot to put it's self back online
Nah, you're just talking about yourself now Sheddy
:rotflmao::rotflmao:I thought he was talking about PK for a minute there :giggle:
Sex God
Quote by Shireen
I thought he was talking about PK for a minute there :giggle:
:smackbottom: :smackbottom: 
