Ok what are the best No Show excuses youve heard??

14 Sep 2004

Ok, now as im fairly new, ive not had the missfortune of having a no show so far,
So i was just wondering what are the best excuses youve been given?
One of the best ive heard was
Sorry cant make it this evening, The alternator has blown on the car, now you may not find that amusing but where this person lives, they still operate with horses and carts, not cars, lol

Sorry couldnt resist this IN JOKE, Bloody single males,
Any others?

14 Sep 2004

Wales was to far to come from for a shag!! lol

(serious!!)

14 Sep 2004

I've had 2 no-shows by the same person. More fool me for giving him a second chance.
Nothing spectacular -
No-Show #1 "I'm stuck in traffic. Moved 5 miles in the last hour."
No-Show#2 "I've met someone and want to give it 100%. Hope you understand."
(you met someone you want a monogamous relationship with since you were talking about doing filthy things to me not 45 minutes ago???? No, I don't understand, actually. And where's the effing heart-felt apology for me having to shave my legs, pluck my eybrows and use my best perfume on a Wednesday morning???)

14 Sep 2004

Wilki - Why would you want to meet someone from Ilkeston ?? ;)
Best excuse - Only excuse to date 10 minutes before I needed to leave (!) - "We've decided it might not be for us"
Hmm, maybe you could have thought about that before ???
(and I've used the 'the car's fcuked' one redface

- It was true !)

14 Sep 2004

Touch wood I've never arranged to meet anyone and then they have not turned up.
My worst nightmare ever was first time meeting with a guy - had to pick him up from the airport - big risk for him as he'd never met me before and he had to fly to meet up - my car wouldn't start mad

I was so totally panic stricken I really didn't know what to do. Lots of tears and effin and jeffin (tm MISSCHIEF). Finally arrived nearly an hour late - poor sod sat waiting in the airport at 8am - I felt awful. If he was mad he never let on - he was just totally gorgeous. (He doesn't use the site but he might read it - so I'll just mention that he still is totally gorgeous lol

)

15 Sep 2004

I've had all sorts of excuses, some I suspect are genuine, some not..... including a couple of guys had car accidents on the way to meets :shock: , one where his mother has been rushed into hospital :shock: :shock: , another one who turned up way late cos his wife wanted him to finish painting the back gate :shock: :shock: :shock: (he did turn up though, complete with green paint on his clothes rolleyes

), another one got a broken leg..... there's loads more, but if I carry on you'll all think I'm a tart for setting up all these meets redface

Dangerous stuff, this swinging lark! :shock:
Oh yeah, and I forgot the BEST one!
A bloke I used to meet regularly was notorious for not turning up. One day he was meant to be coming having a quickie in my office rolleyes

but I said if he hadn't turned up by 4pm I wasn' waiting any longer. 4pm came and went and he hadn't turned up so I left a cryptic but sarcastic note on my door in case he turned up late. I went home in a bad mood mad

. Later that evening, about 9pm I got a phone call. It was my guy phoning from the hospital, very doped up on morphine. He'd had a motor cycle accident on the way to see me, and he had been having emergency surgery :shock: . I felt VERY GUILTY the next morning when I went to work and removed the sarcastic post-it note redface

. He was fine but he nearly lost his foot :shock:
Swinging is indeed VERY dangerous :shock:

15 Sep 2004

A serious one was "my 12-yr old daughter's best friend has just committed suicide...", (reported in local press). Same woman claimed car broke down, & also "my period has just started..." She didn't bother with an excuse the last time, just stood me up & I was unable to contact her after that (mobile, email etc). Maybe she dropped down dead!! :shock:
"My wife is ill..." so no threesome that night. A really bad one, after waiting for about an hour in central Newcastle, was (when I rang HER) "Oh I've had an awful day..." & no FUCKING APOLOGY mad

To be honest more often than not, if I'm stood up I get no excuse or a phone call, just left waiting! sad

15 Sep 2004

We've had contact with a guy, and have actually met with him on two occassions, which were yummy redface

However, we don't answer his txts, emails etc any more because he went through a phase of constantly badgering us for a meet, and if we tentatively made arrangements to meet again, he always seemed to get "called to do a job in London", or his "wife was ill" or "not going to her mothers for the weekend after all" but best of all - that his wife wanted to use the pc, so he had to erase all his contact details etc incase she discovered them!! :undecided: rolleyes

He always bottled out, but at least he had the grace to let us know a day or so in advance of the meet so no harm done, but bloody annoying all the same mad

Obviously a guy who would be only too happy for a close encounter of the sexy kind anytime, if only his wife would let him :grin: rotflmao

Tracy-Jayne & Jon

15 Sep 2004

My best excuse was "I'm on the motorway and my head gasket has blown."
I hope it was convincing, cos it was true. :shock:
Thought I was going to have to go home on the relay truck and start from scratch, but the AA man saved the day - dropped me off at the nearest train station then took my car home.
OK, so it wasn't really a no-show, it was a several-hours-late-show, and I was sure she must have thought I wasn't going to turn up.
With hindsight, breaking down was the best possible thing that could have happened: It was a blisteringly hot day, and had the car made it all the way I would probably have arrived sweaty and exhausted and not been very good company. As it turned out, I had a nice relaxing journey on the train, was welcomed with open arms and had a wonderful time with a lovely, lovely friend. biggrin

Conking out on the M1 may not seem the best way to win friends and influence people, but... "Vorsprung dork technique" as they say in Sweden. ;)
Ice