by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
course, does not - and made the web department take it down immediately.
-------------------------------
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out
the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
best meet your needs and desires.
1. Mr. Mrs. Ms. Miss Lt. Gen. Comrade
Classified Other
First Name: ......................................................
Initial: ........
Last Name:......................................................
Password: ............................. (max 8 char)
Code Name: ......................................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: .............................
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
F-14 Tomcat
F-15 Eagle
F-16 Falcon
F-117A Stealth
Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ....... / ....... /.......
4. Serial Number: .................................................
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
Received as gift / aid package
Catalog showroom
Independent arms broker
Mail order
Discount store
Government surplus
Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product
you have just purchased:
Heard loud noise, looked up
Store display
Espionage
Recommended by friend / relative /ally
Political lobbying by manufacturer
Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision
to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
Style / appearance
Speed / maneuverability
Price / value
Comfort / convenience
Kickback / bribe
Recommended by salesperson
McDonnell Douglas reputation
Advanced Weapons Systems
Backroom politics
Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
North America
Central / South America
Aircraft carrier
Europe
Middle East
Africa
Asia / Far East
Misc. Third World countries
Classified
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase
in the near future:
Color TV
VCR
ICBM
Killer Satellite
CD Player
Air-to-Air Missiles
Space Shuttle
Home Computer
Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Check all that apply
Communist / Socialist
Terrorist
Crazed
Neutral
Democratic
Dictatorship
Corrupt
Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
Deficit spending
Cash
Suitcases of cocaine
Oil revenues
Personal check
Credit card
Ransom money
Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
Homemaker
Sales / marketing
Revolutionary
Clerical
Mercenary
Tyrant
Middle management
Eccentric billionaire
Defense Minister / General
Retired
Student
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis:
Golf
Boating / sailing
Sabotage
Running / jogging
Propaganda / disinformation
Destabilization / overthrow
Default on loans
Gardening
Crafts
Black market / smuggling
Collectibles / collections
Watching sports on TV
Wines
Interrogation / torture
Household pets
Crushing rebellions
Espionage / reconnaissance
Fashion clothing
Border disputes
Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800, St. Louis, MO
Harry0,
Casanova, Drunk and Dogger of this Parish.
:borg: 
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 