I was out today with a load of bikers, went to a show, stopped on the way back at a pub, had a laugh, talked bollocks, took the piss out of each other as bikers do.........
Anyway..... I lost count of the number of times we all said F**K Off to each other, so got me thinking as to some good one line put downs.........
My contribution is:-If I wanted to hear from an arsehole, I would have farted....
So come on lets have your best ones guys and girls.
"Grasp your ears firmly and pull; you might just be able to remove your head from you arse."
"I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your arse."
"Don't you realise that there are enough people to hate in the world already,
without your putting in so much effort to give us another?"
"You are such a smart-arse, I bet you could sit on a tub of ice cream and tell me what flavour it is."
"I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are."
"You have got your head so far up your arse you can chew your food again on the way down."
"I'd like to give you a going-away present.....First, you do your part."
"Someone said that you were not fit to fuck pigs the other day. I stuck up for you, though. I told them you were."
:mrgreen:
Venusxxx
You'd be out of your depth in a puddle.....
The lights are on the barriers are down, but the train ain't coming......
As an outsider, what do you think of the Human race?
Jas
XXX
Another couple from me…..
“You’re as sharp as a cucumberâ€
“God you’re clever, you have five grey brain cells, and that missed every oneâ€
I would engage you in a battle of wits, but I hate to fight someone unarmed
If wit wer shit - You'd be constipated
If brains were dynamite - You wouldn't have enough to ruffle the back of your hair
So, I said to a bird, with a face like a turd, and a wooden leg - Hop it Shithead
You're/that's about as interesting as a wet fart in a glass jar :haha:
When I said "just be yourself", little did i realise what lousy advice that was.
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
You'd be out of your depth in a car park puddle.
I wouldn't say he's fat, but his is the only car I've seen with stretch marks.
If sex were junk food, you'd have a golden arch over your head.
If we stand really close together, I can hear the ocean.
If what you don't know can't hurt you, you're practically invincible.
He started at the bottom, and it was all downhill from there.
Don't worry about your inferiority complex, it's perfectly justified.
He's about as useful as:
* a sun roof on a parachute.
* a chocolate teapot
* an ashtray on a motorbike
In your case, a battle of wits is unarmed combat.
He ran through the stupid forest and hit every tree.
:laughabove:
Your about as useful as a fart in a colander.
I remember once a very drunk guy in a bar thought it would be really funny to whip his dick out and then tap my elder sis on the shoulder to shock her . She turned cool as a cucumber and without even a slight reaction said " Oh thats just like a cock only smaller".
I bet when you go on holiday there's a village looking for an idiot...
Stare at his crotch and say, 'oh shame....you poor man.'
if cunts could fly you would be a squadron leader
dave and mandy x x x x
One more for the pot:
I would call you an idiot, but that would be insulting the intelligence of all the genuine idiots out there.
my personal fav is
'If I wanted any lip, I'd scrape it off my zipper' :twisted:
There are three things that smell like fish, one of them is fish.
The other two are growing on you. FZ
your naturally useless but have failed to live up to your potential
In response to "I'm not that stupid"
You're quite right, it would be impossible to be that stupid and continue to breathe unassisted.
Or:
No, but you're so dense that light bends around you.
:D 
) have tried these:
