If new and old partners are both from SH, or at least aware of it, then surely they know what you might have been up to so how much harm can your e-mails cause when sent to your new partner?
Sorry, that's a bit of a mouthful as far as sentence lengths are concerned!!!
Either way, trying to cause problems for an ex partner cannot be condoned so I hope they butt out and leave you to enjoy life.
Maybe you meant more to them than you thought you did?
Hope things sort out OK for you.
Personally I think this should have been said in PM or email not on an open forum, those who know you, know your ex partner surely, so naming names is not necessary to work out who it is your talking about.
Just my opinion, you did ask.
I think that if it's just a case of the previous partner writing to the new one and saying things like "Do you know he used fuck me" then I'd just let it go, because they obviously both know about each other so how much harm can it do.
But if the emails are abusive and rude then you need to let a Mod know so they can deal with it. Abusive emails are not right, regardless of what has happened between you two.
But I agree with littlemee, I wonder if you meant more to her than she meant to you and she's finding it hard to let you go.
Also, I have to ask, did you just unceremoniously dump her without talking to her? Or did you gently tell her that it was time for you to look elsewhere? If its the latter then good on you....if it's the former then I can understand her being very upset and you need to go and talk to her about it just to put things to rest.
Are we talking a relationship in the traditional sense of the word or swinging???
I'm not condonning what has happened, no ex partner swinging or otherwise should interfere in their ex's new relationship ( although it does happen sometimes, if bad feeling takes over), what I was saying was, that I didn't think it fair that although you said you weren't naming names, just by posting all this on the open forum, you have indeed 'named names' to those who know you and your ex.
Maybe it's just me.
I think foxylady got near to the matter. It sounds like you and your 'ex' had some sort of relationship, or perhaps either or both of you had not quite sorted out a swingers agreement. She is now pissed off at being 'dumped'. Unfortunately she is behaving like the woman scorned. You don't think this should be happening, because you believed things were as you wished.
Even with swinging there is some development in human relationships, and these can go unperceived and unnoticed until a critical point is reached. This may be what has happened to you both.
I personally think that what is private shoudl remin private and whilst I can understand what MOMF is trying to say if your new partner is unhappy and has asked for the pm's/emails to stop and they haven't then the other party should be reported to a Mod for harrassment.
Even if MOMF did let the old partner down badly (which there has been no evidence of) it is still not call for harrassment of another.
Bring a threeway relationship problem onto the boards is not helpful ~ act maturely and sort it out please.
C x
You were asking for peoples thoughts now you want to lock it...why?
In a non personal way then, i dont think any swinger has rights over another swingers life. For me its not a realtionship its about sex, end of story.
Thats the theory anyway
In an ideal world, nothing would turn nasty. But this is real life, manofmuchfun. And to live life, you have to sample the sweet bits with the sour bits.
Also you brought this subject out in the open - maybe you did not think before posting, but how do you think your ex feels about being outed?
Two wrongs don't make a right, do they?
I suggest you 3 get together and talk things over like civilised adults.
Rules?
I assume you have set out rules with your new partner? Written them down? Both signed in front of witnesses that these rules are acceptable and non negotiable?
Swinging is all about sex you say... Hmmm, just sex? Is it just sex I wonder after you have met a person/couple for the 10th-20th time? You do not talk about personal things at all? You know nothing about each other's lives? You only meet, undress, shag, shower, dress and leave?
This is something you will now just have to live through and come out the other side a changed person. Because it will do something to you.
In some of the swing situations I have been in, the partners, couples and/or singles, found it easy at first to play it cool, However relationships deepened quite rapidly and it was obvious that the situation was more conventional. Getting out of those commitments was slightly prickly.
You say you was sorta dumped?.......being male sex once a fortnight was not enough....was this because you were complaining about that arrangement?....being a swinger and being single why do you have ex's to start with?....are you sure you are not getting too attached to this women and this is not what they are looking for.....its possible your "ex" is contacting the "new" one maybe just to compare notes or possibly be giving them advice about you?
If you do your dirty washing in public and ask for opinions you must expect some of them to be contrary to your own.
My opinion would be that you shouldn’t have posted about this. It serves no purpose and in my opinion, is attention seeking. As is often the case when an attention seeking thread is started, and the views were not what were hoped for, you asked for it to be locked.
Sorry to sound harsh but you asked for opinions and that is what you have got.
Move onwards and upwards, deal with this matter privately, and enjoy the forum !
Dont sound like it owt to do with us lot
there are two main problems with this.....
1) if swinging is about discretion as much as anything then i wonder what is says about you by bringing it out on public forum......... i think that was wrong..
2) the danger with only hearing one side of the story is that people can paint a very rosy picture of the situation, while leaving out certain other bits.......i will not make judgements on a situation where i only know half a story.......
sean xxxxxxxx
I don't think it serves any purpose making this public, surely this is a private matter and nothing to do with anyone on the forum (including mods!) apart from those concerned. As has already been said, it seems to be very indiscreet making this public, especially as both of the people concerned are SH members.
Thread locked.
I am unlocking this thread for a short while to allow one of the people involved to speak. The thread will then be locked again.
I'm sure MOMF is refering to me.
What he has failed to say is we were never an item or a couple.
Yes I know him and yes he introduced me to SH but apart from that we were just freinds no more.
I did post a few weeks ago that me and MOMF were NOT an item but he kept tying us together.
I hope this is an end to it.
