I am not unattractive cos my last girlfriends av been very fit. But how long does it take on this site to strike up a relationship to gain trust and get some pleasure. Any advice from anyone would be great. Please check my profile out cos it may be shit cos i am new to trying to get me message across in swinging sites. I am sure i sound desperate but really i would just like some feedback. thanks.
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How long is a piece of string??
For me, I was lucky to get meets straight away... and party invites.... and munch invites...but i suppose I was helped by having a good idea and success rate of meeting women (despite my looks)before I joined the site.
Maybe things were different back then... on reflection they were... i havnt had a meet for a while from the site... but to be honest... i havnt tried answering an advert or a lets meet up post for ages.
I gather from what I read on the forums that sucess rates are generally low... but good looks and a specific demeanour do help.. and it wouldnt surprise me if you had some success... but its not a thing you should get massively hung up over...
to be fair... this really is a swingers site... and swingers ( i believe) would rather meet other swingers with some experience(in the main)rather than someone just looking to get a shag.
So, If you are interested in the lifestyle rather than just the action, I would suggest going to a club ( maybe look for a "date" in a chatroom or on the lets meet up forum to show you the ropes) and start meeting people from there first rather than waste your time answering loads of adverts..
For me, I was lucky to get meets straight away... and party invites.... and munch invites...but i suppose I was helped by having a good idea and success rate of meeting women (despite my looks)before I joined the site.
Maybe things were different back then... on reflection they were... i havnt had a meet for a while from the site... but to be honest... i havnt tried answering an advert or a lets meet up post for ages.
I gather from what I read on the forums that sucess rates are generally low... but good looks and a specific demeanour do help.. and it wouldnt surprise me if you had some success... but its not a thing you should get massively hung up over...
to be fair... this really is a swingers site... and swingers ( i believe) would rather meet other swingers with some experience(in the main)rather than someone just looking to get a shag.
So, If you are interested in the lifestyle rather than just the action, I would suggest going to a club ( maybe look for a "date" in a chatroom or on the lets meet up forum to show you the ropes) and start meeting people from there first rather than waste your time answering loads of adverts..
Sex God
when I see these types of posts the first thing that runs thru my head is "please don't let the person doing it have ads that are one line long and have a cock shot"
why.... because those are 10 to a penny.......
I say what I am about to say and deecee has touched on it........
you get out what you put in......
Do you ever go to clubs.....
Do you go to any of the socials on the site...or even put your name down
Have you ever used the forums to get to know people....
Have you ever stepped inside the chatrooms....
the site is there to help you help yourself... it is more than just the ads.... if you don't use the site to sell yourself properly to other people then people can only help you so much......
get out there and sell yourself..... get yourselves known to people... imagine SH to be like a pub, would you expect people to be all chummy with you on your first time in? like others have said.. it does take time and it does take perserverence...
for example.. in your profile it says nothing about the person you are or the people that you are after rather than the basics....if you are only going to use one line, then I'm sorry but that smacks like a lack of effort.....
so what type of couple/single fem are you after... older/younger? tall/short? thin/fat? those are just examples.... remember you are trying to appeal to people.....
SH hasn't started charging by the word, so start using them....... tell people why you are different from the others? give people a reason to say "yes, I have to meet that person"
the successful guys in the scene are not all 6ft muscle bound big dicked behemoths..... they are the guys who go the the socials, who go to the chatrooms, who go on the forums, who can have conversations with people, who made the time to get themselves known........
the true test is this.... go back, read your own ad... now if you were a couple/single fem... and you were looking at it...and knowing there were 000's of people out there to choose from.... would you answer your own ad?
honestly.... would you?
why.... because those are 10 to a penny.......
I say what I am about to say and deecee has touched on it........
you get out what you put in......
Do you ever go to clubs.....
Do you go to any of the socials on the site...or even put your name down
Have you ever used the forums to get to know people....
Have you ever stepped inside the chatrooms....
the site is there to help you help yourself... it is more than just the ads.... if you don't use the site to sell yourself properly to other people then people can only help you so much......
get out there and sell yourself..... get yourselves known to people... imagine SH to be like a pub, would you expect people to be all chummy with you on your first time in? like others have said.. it does take time and it does take perserverence...
for example.. in your profile it says nothing about the person you are or the people that you are after rather than the basics....if you are only going to use one line, then I'm sorry but that smacks like a lack of effort.....
so what type of couple/single fem are you after... older/younger? tall/short? thin/fat? those are just examples.... remember you are trying to appeal to people.....
SH hasn't started charging by the word, so start using them....... tell people why you are different from the others? give people a reason to say "yes, I have to meet that person"
the successful guys in the scene are not all 6ft muscle bound big dicked behemoths..... they are the guys who go the the socials, who go to the chatrooms, who go on the forums, who can have conversations with people, who made the time to get themselves known........
the true test is this.... go back, read your own ad... now if you were a couple/single fem... and you were looking at it...and knowing there were 000's of people out there to choose from.... would you answer your own ad?
honestly.... would you?
Sex God
Hey Westgate, :welcome: to the forum.
As a single girly on here, who may or may not compare favourably to your past girlfriends
, I can categorically state that I run a mile from guys who appear to be using this site just for a quick shag.
Now, let me clarify: I like quick shags. I have a penchant for uncomplicated, nsa sex; it's one of the reasons I joined this site. However (and it's a big however) for me there has to be 'something' there to set either the person or the experience they are offering apart from all the other members who may fancy their chances.
So... what do I personally look for (because remember we are all so very different - this is not a one-size-fits-all game) is either a profile which is witty and well-written, someone whose photos attract me, someone who is offering me an experience which matches my interests and/or helps me 'tick off' something I want to do. It's very definitely not all about a quick shag for me in terms of choosing a potential playmate... even if what we do when we play amounts to a quick shag!
The advice that DeeCee, Fabio and everyone else have given is good: use the chatrooms, think of your profile as your 'shop window' and use it to its full potential, post in the forum, maybe get yourself to a social event or two.
If all you want is a quick shag, then you might be best pursuing other options... I don't know. There's possibly loads of folk on here looking for just that - but I think that you possibly need to see this as a long game rather than a quick-fix.
Have fun - and I hope you find what you're looking for.
Nola x
As a single girly on here, who may or may not compare favourably to your past girlfriends
, I can categorically state that I run a mile from guys who appear to be using this site just for a quick shag.Now, let me clarify: I like quick shags. I have a penchant for uncomplicated, nsa sex; it's one of the reasons I joined this site. However (and it's a big however) for me there has to be 'something' there to set either the person or the experience they are offering apart from all the other members who may fancy their chances.
So... what do I personally look for (because remember we are all so very different - this is not a one-size-fits-all game) is either a profile which is witty and well-written, someone whose photos attract me, someone who is offering me an experience which matches my interests and/or helps me 'tick off' something I want to do. It's very definitely not all about a quick shag for me in terms of choosing a potential playmate... even if what we do when we play amounts to a quick shag!
The advice that DeeCee, Fabio and everyone else have given is good: use the chatrooms, think of your profile as your 'shop window' and use it to its full potential, post in the forum, maybe get yourself to a social event or two.
If all you want is a quick shag, then you might be best pursuing other options... I don't know. There's possibly loads of folk on here looking for just that - but I think that you possibly need to see this as a long game rather than a quick-fix.
Have fun - and I hope you find what you're looking for.
Nola x
Quote by Westgate
I am not unattractive cos my last girlfriends av been very fit. But how long does it take on this site to strike up a relationship to gain trust and get some pleasure. Any advice from anyone would be great. Please check my profile out cos it may be shit cos i am new to trying to get me message across in swinging sites. I am sure i sound desperate but really i would just like some feedback. thanks.
how long is a piece of string?
Westgate - Fabio's advice is the best advice - you have to be known, you have to be seen as nice fun guy, you have to be seen as reliable and pleasant to be around.
to be honest your profile reads as ....
'I'm good looking , fancy a fuck no mingers need apply!'
Why not come along to the Kent social in May? - meet some nice people, get known, have a good time - stop concentrating on the end game and you might get somewhere
Happy hunting
xx Chooch
to be honest your profile reads as ....
'I'm good looking , fancy a fuck no mingers need apply!'
Why not come along to the Kent social in May? - meet some nice people, get known, have a good time - stop concentrating on the end game and you might get somewhere
Happy hunting
xx Chooch
Sex God
Quote by Choochie
Westgate - Fabio's advice is the best advice - you have to be known, you have to be seen as nice fun guy, you have to be seen as reliable and pleasant to be around.
to be honest your profile reads as ....
'I'm good looking , fancy a fuck no mingers need apply!'
Why not come along to the Kent social in May? - meet some nice people, get known, have a good time - stop concentrating on the end game and you might get somewhere
Happy hunting
xx Chooch
Choochie, I don't think he has to necessarily be "known" - in fact I personally prefer to play with folks who are 'under the radar' - but I would agree with Fabio that getting known might help, or certainly make him realise that there is more to the scene than just scoring a shag.
What I do agree with is the importance of making an effort in the profile.
And have an ace time at the Kent social y'all...
Choochie, I don't think he has to necessarily be "known" - in fact I personally prefer to play with folks who are 'under the radar' - but I would agree with Fabio that getting known might help, or certainly make him realise that there is more to the scene than just scoring a shag.
What I do agree with is the importance of making an effort in the profile.
Yeah Nola know what you mean - but for a single guy its easier if his face has been about a bit don't you think? -either in chatty rooms or at socials - horses for courses m'dear!!!
xxChooch
What I do agree with is the importance of making an effort in the profile.
Yeah Nola know what you mean - but for a single guy its easier if his face has been about a bit don't you think? -either in chatty rooms or at socials - horses for courses m'dear!!!
xxChooch
Sex God
Oi... stop fighting over my words.... 
:lol:
what I meant it that the stereotype of the "handsome and/or muscular" men being the only ones successful in the scene is just that... and some of us "other" have had success in other ways...
I wouldn't call myself good looking in any way shape or form, however I take a different approach, and it works for me and that is what I was pointing out... rather than the showy "look at me" attitutde some have....
anyway.... I think part of what we have said has sunk in... the one line and a cock shot ads that the OP had have disappeared... so if it helped just a little then it has done it's job...
:lol: what I meant it that the stereotype of the "handsome and/or muscular" men being the only ones successful in the scene is just that... and some of us "other" have had success in other ways...
I wouldn't call myself good looking in any way shape or form, however I take a different approach, and it works for me and that is what I was pointing out... rather than the showy "look at me" attitutde some have....
anyway.... I think part of what we have said has sunk in... the one line and a cock shot ads that the OP had have disappeared... so if it helped just a little then it has done it's job...
Quote by Westgate
I am not unattractive cos my last girlfriends av been very fit....
Hmmm, Peter Stringfellow probably thinks the same!
But seriously, you look half-handsome and certainly wouldn't 'scare the children' but your profile does come across like you've joined to get a quick shag. Don't confuse swinging with shagging though - the lines are blurry and I've found that it's a balancing act here - i.e. raising your profile enough so that people know you ain't the next axe murderer but not getting a reputation as sloppy seconds. Well I think so anyway!
Find your own comfort levels - the Forums ain't for everyone, neither is Chat, the same with social events. Nola and Choochie have given good advice, as have others but find out what works for you.
Sometimes it's just a case of balancing patience and hormones - get it wrong and you just start to come across as desperate.. but I don't think you do. Just flesh out your profile and maybe have a read of other single blokes profiles (not to meet them!) as I'm sure there are some that make you think.. feck, he sounds like a bit of a wanker and other's that impress. That should give you a better idea of what to put. Or get a trustworthy female pal to write it for you - after all, they are your potential market!
Good luck :thumbup:
PS: I wrote my own profile... mostly! ;)
Mod
Quote by Mr-Powers
how long is a piece of string?
Easy answer to that.
Find the middle and double it
:lol:And for hints on how to get a quick shag read my profile..
Sex God
Fair play to the guy... I got a nice PM from him... so good luck and I hope that you find what your looking for......
Sex God
funny really isnt it, we always talk about getting to know people when to many folk that is the last thing they want to do in swinging...
maybe thats the way swinging sites work of this sort but it isnt the only way swinging works as such..if you want a shag fella get ya self to a swinging club its quick and probably a damn site easier than competing for crumpet on here...
this place is an extension of the swinging world lets not forget that ..it is not 'the' swinging world!
maybe thats the way swinging sites work of this sort but it isnt the only way swinging works as such..if you want a shag fella get ya self to a swinging club its quick and probably a damn site easier than competing for crumpet on here...
this place is an extension of the swinging world lets not forget that ..it is not 'the' swinging world!
Quote by wild rose and the stag
funny really isnt it, we always talk about getting to know people when to many folk that is the last thing they want to do in swinging...
maybe thats the way swinging sites work of this sort but it isnt the only way swinging works as such..if you want a shag fella get ya self to a swinging club its quick and probably a damn site easier than competing for crumpet on here...
this place is an extension of the swinging world lets not forget that ..it is not 'the' swinging world!
spot on.....
or whilst here: play the game, arse-kiss the right people , appear genuine and you could be in with a chance
8-)
