Orangey

8 Jul 2010

Quote by Lizaleanrob
can anyone tell me if so many women that have been fantasize about it why do we lock rapists up

Women fantasise about forced sex role-play in a safe environment and where they give themselves over to someone but ultimately remain in control of the situation and not about being . The difference being that one is with consent and the other isn't which means that one's illegal and the other isn't.
As I said before I dislike the term ' Fantasy' as it causes confusion about the word and detracts from the realities of what is.
My experiences are that as human beings we all have differing responses to trauma and that while some survivors will exhibit a lot of the recognised issues, some will only show one or two and others will display some behaviour that may appear illogical to those observing. To the person behaving their ideas and actions seem perfectly reasonable and rational given the circumstances. Such is human nature.

Women who had been comprised 21% of the sample. Of the aversive fantasies, 36% were written by women who had been .

Around 13% of the total number of those involved in the study? (I think confused

Sorry if I'm wrong).

8 Jul 2010

Quote by Lizaleanrob
no dave the whole thing

Of those that write averse fantasy there was 36% of them that were .
It did not say 36% of victims write averse fantasy.
Now I can see why you were confused
Dave_Notts

8 Jul 2010

Quote by neilinleeds
Oh Kenty, kenty, kenty, you really are a very small minded person indeed, aren't you? icon_ Noone can tell you anything, can they? If it doesn't sit well in your small, little world, well. it can't happen, can it? I can hardly even begin to imagine what it must be like to be so sorely lacking in imagination.

Oh Neil how catty of you indeed. Is that the best you can come up with? IF I was like certain members I could send in a little ticket for that on the basis of being offensive, but I can take it...give it your best shot.

Quote by neilinleeds
Whether you can even begin to imagine it or not, whether what follows goes right over your head like a fucking aeroplane, some female victims of child sexual abuse, for the sake of example, spend years, and years, and years trying to wrap their head round the fact that their body's have betrayed them, because they have orgasmed whether they like it or not while they're being .

Another believer eh? That's fine...you slate me for having my opinions on it, and I think you are talking rubbish. No winners here then?

Quote by neilinleeds
I'm not linking you to articles in the Guardian. I'm not gonna waste my time and energy backing up what I just said. Quite frankly Kenty, I can't be arsed. Simple fact is, you've no bleedin' clue whatsoever, have you?

Is that your final word on the subject..... innocent

Quote by neilinleeds
Nonsense? No . . . not really?

You think? loon

Being on here as long as I have, why am I really not suprised in peoples misguided views? But then is it really going to make me lose a nano second of sleep tonight?........nope.

8 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
I think you are talking rubbish.

Unfortunately in a debate over an issue that has been studied in depth with numerous articles, then "I think" is not a good enough argument.
Dave_Notts

8 Jul 2010

I cannot even try to imagine how a woman who has been violated in such a manner may feel/think/act. I can only relate to another traumatic experience that effects you psychologically/emotionally and the coping mechanisms we use to overcome them. You don't think so logically and clearly as others who are outside it all.
Suppose my thoughts (that maybe way off track) are about unanswered questions that your left with buzzing round your head when something so traumatic happens you. You go through self blame/punishment...even guilt and relive it again and again. You learn to deal and live with it over time, yet always left with the unanswered question.....why. Thing is - there never is an answer that helps.

8 Jul 2010

Quote by anais
I cannot even try to imagine how a woman who has been violated in such a manner may feel/think/act. I can only relate to another traumatic experience that effects you psychologically/emotionally and the coping mechanisms we use to overcome them. You don't think so logically and clearly as others who are outside it all.
Suppose my thoughts (that maybe way off track) are about unanswered questions that your left with buzzing round your head when something so traumatic happens you. You go through self blame/punishment...even guilt and relive it again and again. You learn to deal and live with it over time, yet always left with the unanswered question.....why. Thing is - there never is an answer that helps.

:thumbup:
A very good post.

8 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
Being on here as long as I have, why am I really not suprised in peoples misguided views?

Pot, kettle, black Kenty.
I really don't get you Kenty. I don't understand why no other opinion carries any weight with you confused

You don't even want to listen to another opinion. Not even if it is supported by medical journals (which I happen to understand).
You don't listen to those that work within the medical field, some of them work with abused people :?
You don't even listen at all to anyone that has suffered abuse. Yet I haven't seen you post that you have suffered
All you do is suggest everyone else is wrong or misguided.
You even attempted to provoke me to post on this thread by a comment in a pm which really surprised me dunno

Why is that?
It is because you are never wrong full stop no matter what the subject it?

8 Jul 2010

Quote by Dave__Notts
Of those that write averse fantasy there was 36% of them that were .
It did not say 36% of victims write averse fantasy.

I have had a little peep but to be honest did not get that far into the artical but....36% of what exactly?
Does it actually say how many people were questioned on this. Is it 36% of 5000 women? Or 36% of ten women?

8 Jul 2010

IF I was like certain members I could send in a little ticket for that on the basis of being offensive

< < < Checks AUP . . .
Erm . . . . if you're feeling that way inclined you knock yerself out mate. We can play who's been more offensive than who if you wish, but I'm not sure I've said anything whatsoever that might warrant a ban? confused

Between the two of us though, I find your assertion that no proper victim could possibly orgasm while being really quite disturbing. You are suggesting that no right-thinking woman could possibly cum while being . What then do you imagine this right-thinking woman might feel if she did cum? Given attitudes like yours Mr Kent, what do you imagine she might feel if she found that her body refused to follow her mind's direction? What do you imagine she might feel if she had to stand up in court and admit that her body betrayed her, in your hearing, and you passed so easy a judgement?
N x x x ;)

8 Jul 2010

Quote by Dawnie
Being on here as long as I have, why am I really not suprised in peoples misguided views?

Pot, kettle, black Kenty.
I really don't get you Kenty. I don't understand why no other opinion carries any weight with you confused

You don't even want to listen to another opinion. Not even if it is supported by medical journals (which I happen to understand).
You don't listen to those that work within the medical field, some of them work with abused people :?
You don't even listen at all to anyone that has suffered abuse. Yet I haven't seen you post that you have suffered
All you do is suggest everyone else is wrong or misguided.
You even attempted to provoke me to post on this thread by a comment in a pm which really surprised me dunno

Why is that?
It is because you are never wrong full stop no matter what the subject it?
Dawnie that pm you have now used as ammunition against me...cheers.
I never tried to provoke you at all. You was quick enough to defend the writer of that comment, and then when proved wrong on that decided then to say nothing else. You had something to say beforehand on the subject, but not when you was wrong. You took exception to me asking you to say something and then after your reply I duly appologised...did I not?
What I am suprised about is a site moderator you would actually say that in an open forum to try and point score. That should have remained between the two of us, as it was a private pm as well you know. Post it all in the forum if you like now.
I feel very strongly over this and on the so called evidence that I have seen it does not change my original opinion...that makes me an arse then of course?

8 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
Of those that write averse fantasy there was 36% of them that were .
It did not say 36% of victims write averse fantasy.

I have had a little peep but to be honest did not get that far into the artical but....36% of what exactly?
Does it actually say how many people were questioned on this. Is it 36% of 5000 women? Or 36% of ten women?
That is a pertinent question for the actual research data. I have not read this so cannot answer the question. If you read the full article you could enlighten us to the methodology.

Quote by kentswingers777
the so called evidence that I have seen it does not change my original opinion

Did you read the article I posted for you? If so, what part was evidentially wrong?
Dave_Notts

8 Jul 2010

Kenty my personal opinions have nothing to do with being a moderator, most of the time I forget I am one anyway :lol2: If it was a moderators comment, then I would have more than likely said it was.
I'm not having a dig to score points. I am genuinely trying to understand why no other opinions counts but yours. Not just this subject but others I have seen discussed dunno

Its not only that but when you have an opinion, you continue to post it and never walk away from a thread.
Dawnie doesn't understand you Kenty, that is all confused

8 Jul 2010

Quote by Dawnie
Kenty my personal opinions have nothing to do with being a moderator, most of the time I forget I am one anyway :lol2: If it was a moderators comment, then I would have more than likely said it was.
I'm not having a dig to score points. I am genuinely trying to understand why no other opinions counts but yours. Not just this subject but others I have seen discussed
Its not only that but when you have an opinion, you continue to post it and never walk away from a thread.
Dawnie doesn't understand you Kenty, that is all

Sorry Dawnie your comment was there to score points.
You are a site moderator who in the open forum ,states that I sent you a private pm to provoke you. If you was here on your member account that would be slightly different, but as a moderator that should have remained private and confidential.
I have never seen that before on here from a moderator or a chat op.
I take on board your other comments, but now I will have to refrain from sending any other pm's to site officials in case it comes back and hits me arse.
For the record though your last comment to me in that pm contained one of these.... wink

did it not? Hardly a symbol of anger.

8 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
For the record though your last comment to me in that pm contained one of these.... did it not? Hardly a symbol of anger.

What are you twisting Kenty?
Where does the word anger fit into my comments on trying to understand you dunno

8 Jul 2010

Quote by Dawnie
For the record though your last comment to me in that pm contained one of these.... did it not? Hardly a symbol of anger.

What are you twisting Kenty?
Where does the word anger fit into my comments on trying to understand you dunno

In my opinion Dawnie you was wrong to post that comment in the forum, being a private message between moderator and member.
On that I am finished with this thread.

8 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
For the record though your last comment to me in that pm contained one of these.... did it not? Hardly a symbol of anger.

What are you twisting Kenty?
Where does the word anger fit into my comments on trying to understand you dunno

In my opinion Dawnie you was wrong to post that comment in the forum, being a private message between moderator and member.
On that I am finished with this thread.
Sorry Kenty, the pm we had was not one I initiated and it was not a moderators PM :dunno:
It was one you initiated and even now I still don't understand you. Pity really because I really would have liked to have understood where you were coming from confused

8 Jul 2010

Quote by kenty
On that I am finished with this thread.

Good, I'd like to hear more about the original orange issue, the fantasy has been done before and whilst its a subject that provokes many sides for discussion it is disappointing when it degrades to provocation and point scoring, still thats forum life.......
Suffocation and sex;
Does it make it better?
What are the risks?
Why would you want to try it?
When?
With who, what rules and safety precautions?
How should you go about it, why oranges? is a fruit fetish involved, are there better fruits?
What about other objects?
dunno

8 Jul 2010

Going along with the point that a woman can cum during and why with the brains knowledge of such a violation can that happen, it is also possible for men to sometimes get erections during and as a result of being in a fight of of being beaten up.
The mind really does fu*k about with stuff doesn't it.

8 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev

On that I am finished with this thread.

Good, I'd like to hear more about the original orange issue, the fantasy has been done before and whilst its a subject that provokes many sides for discussion it is disappointing when it degrades to provocation and point scoring, still thats forum life.......
Suffocation and sex;
Does it make it better?
What are the risks?
Why would you want to try it?
When?
With who, what rules and safety precautions?
How should you go about it, why oranges? is a fruit fetish involved, are there better fruits?
What about other objects?
dunno

so abuse of survivors of is allowed,i truly do not understand how this can be permitted.
No-one has said it is??
Valid questions, what's the problem?

8 Jul 2010

Quote by Lost
Going along with the point that a woman can cum during and why with the brains knowledge of such a violation can that happen, it is also possible for men to sometimes get erections during and as a result of being in a fight of of being beaten up.
The mind really does fu*k about with stuff doesn't it.

Is it the mind or the body that fecks up? As someone said before, a male can get an erection even in a car crash.
Dave_Notts

8 Jul 2010

Quote by Dave__Notts
Going along with the point that a woman can cum during and why with the brains knowledge of such a violation can that happen, it is also possible for men to sometimes get erections during and as a result of being in a fight of of being beaten up.
The mind really does fu*k about with stuff doesn't it.

Is it the mind or the body that fecks up? As someone said before, a male can get an erection even in a car crash.
Dave_Notts
The triggers can only come from the mind in the end Dave even if its just chemical stimulus the mind has to sanction it.

8 Jul 2010

Quote by Lost
Going along with the point that a woman can cum during and why with the brains knowledge of such a violation can that happen, it is also possible for men to sometimes get erections during and as a result of being in a fight of of being beaten up.
The mind really does fu*k about with stuff doesn't it.

Was pondering this tonight - then came to the conclusion that the 'fight or flight' reaction heightens all your senses.
Once put into a dangerous situation, the 'fight for flight' adrenalin reaction arouses every sense in your body. It doesn't choose which part of your body to go to. In an emergency, it's just a "right adrenalin, go everywhere!" reaction.
In a fight situation, the altercation is usually pretty quick, so all senses are still fired up, to hence by the end of fistycuffs, the adrenalin induced hard on is still prominent?
In a more prolongued situation, I don't know cos the adrenalin thing can't be sustained for long periods - maybe once the adrenalin 'fight or flight' senses kick in, and someones stimulating a certain sense, it keeps it heightened?? dunno

I really don't know, just something my mind was pondering early on :dunno:

9 Jul 2010

Quote by Dave__Notts
no dave the whole thing

Of those that write averse fantasy there was 36% of them that were .
It did not say 36% of victims write averse fantasy.
Now I can see why you were confused
Dave_Notts
are we talking as part of a fantasy or real life
but the quote states had and not were had, being past tense and were, being past/present /future

36% were written by women who had been .

if i`ve got it wrong then so has quite a few others judging by a mail or two in my pm box dunno

9 Jul 2010

Quote by anais
I cannot even try to imagine how a woman who has been violated in such a manner may feel/think/act. I can only relate to another traumatic experience that effects you psychologically/emotionally and the coping mechanisms we use to overcome them. You don't think so logically and clearly as others who are outside it all.
Suppose my thoughts (that maybe way off track) are about unanswered questions that your left with buzzing round your head when something so traumatic happens you. You go through self blame/punishment...even guilt and relive it again and again. You learn to deal and live with it over time, yet always left with the unanswered question.....why. Thing is - there never is an answer that helps.

:thumbup::thumbup:

9 Jul 2010

Quote by Lizaleanrob
can anyone tell me if so many women that have been fantasize about it why do we lock rapists up

So you really expect us believe that you can`t tell the difference between fantasy and reality ?
That`s a big thing to admit on an open forum !! :shock:
it might be worth reading the whole tread it actually helps me ol flower
kas seems to think that 39% of women have fantasy`s
well sorry but here is the medical ugly truth

From the bottom of the page you quote
The author is not a psychiatrist or physician / medical doctor or legal attorney of any sort.
Kenty will be along in a while to disclaim your 'evidence' as 'just something you can find with Google.'
(Actually it's not bad, but it's incomplete, not peer reviewed and an entirely secondary source, but you don't appear to have recognised that.)

9 Jul 2010

Quote by awayman
can anyone tell me if so many women that have been fantasize about it why do we lock rapists up

So you really expect us believe that you can`t tell the difference between fantasy and reality ?
That`s a big thing to admit on an open forum !! :shock:
it might be worth reading the whole tread it actually helps me ol flower
kas seems to think that 39% of women have fantasy`s
well sorry but here is the medical ugly truth

From the bottom of the page you quote
The author is not a psychiatrist or physician / medical doctor or legal attorney of any sort.
Kenty will be along in a while to disclaim your 'evidence' as 'just something you can find with Google.'
(Actually it's not bad, but it's incomplete, not peer reviewed and an entirely secondary source, but you don't appear to have recognised that.)
nor is it a blog flipa

9 Jul 2010

Quote by Lost
...........

The triggers can only come from the mind in the end Dave even if its just chemical stimulus the mind has to sanction it.

Interesting point. Are you referring to the conscious mind here? If so how do you explain your heart beating and your breathing while asleep? When you accidentally burn yourself, do you need to think before moving the part afflicted?
Muscle spasms in quadriplegics is also a well known issue. This means that there's no direct connection to the brain, but there's still a movement. There was a guy in a wheelchair on a sex TV program a few nights ago that was paralysed from the mid-chest down who was talking about having sex. If the mind has to sanction an erection, how does he manage to do that as his connection is broken?

Quote by Missy
In a more prolongued situation, I don't know cos the adrenalin thing can't be sustained for long periods - maybe once the adrenalin 'fight or flight' senses kick in, and someones stimulating a certain sense, it keeps it heightened??
I really don't know, just something my mind was pondering early on :dunno:

Adrenaline levels after a trigger begin to approach normal levels after around 90 mins. During this time agitation and the risks of a re-triggering of adrenaline are increased.

9 Jul 2010

Quote by Islandcpl1
My wife wants to try the orange in the mouth thing, and the strangulation, we know it can be dangerous, anyone got some advice, like do it it's great, don't do it, how to do it the best way,

And all this duel

from an Orange! WOW drinkies

now wheres the popcorn?
back to the op my best advice would be to find either a workshop or a good bdsm club your bound to find the right sort of advice at either of these do be wary of internet advise as visual as well as verbal advice is equally important with care being the utmost of importance wink

9 Jul 2010

Quote by Lizaleanrob
can anyone tell me if so many women that have been fantasize about it why do we lock rapists up

So you really expect us believe that you can`t tell the difference between fantasy and reality ?
That`s a big thing to admit on an open forum !! :shock:
it might be worth reading the whole tread it actually helps me ol flower
kas seems to think that 39% of women have fantasy`s
well sorry but here is the medical ugly truth

From the bottom of the page you quote
The author is not a psychiatrist or physician / medical doctor or legal attorney of any sort.
Kenty will be along in a while to disclaim your 'evidence' as 'just something you can find with Google.'
(Actually it's not bad, but it's incomplete, not peer reviewed and an entirely secondary source, but you don't appear to have recognised that.)
nor is it a blog flipa

Neither is this a blog.

It is self published on the same platform you cited as evidence though.
Some people really are gullible.

9 Jul 2010

Quote by awayman
can anyone tell me if so many women that have been fantasize about it why do we lock rapists up

So you really expect us believe that you can`t tell the difference between fantasy and reality ?
That`s a big thing to admit on an open forum !! :shock:
it might be worth reading the whole tread it actually helps me ol flower
kas seems to think that 39% of women have fantasy`s
well sorry but here is the medical ugly truth

From the bottom of the page you quote
The author is not a psychiatrist or physician / medical doctor or legal attorney of any sort.
Kenty will be along in a while to disclaim your 'evidence' as 'just something you can find with Google.'
(Actually it's not bad, but it's incomplete, not peer reviewed and an entirely secondary source, but you don't appear to have recognised that.)
nor is it a blog flipa

Neither is this a blog.

It is self published on the same platform you cited as evidence though.
Some people really are gullible.
while were talking eggs and chins you might like this its informative and shows you know nothing of which you are writing
sorry for the delay but i find this sort of thing a better impact when some one believes they know all when like stated before you know nothing and plenty of it
enjoy

i do believe this is a real link not a blog etc
maybe we can all join the op and get away from the child stuff
sorry for the away pun none intended wink