Orangey

6 Jul 2010

Quote by Lizaleanrob
if you watch cleaver knife play kas they keep the knifes in the freezer then use the blunt side after showing the submissive other sharp knifes before being blind folded
the effect of the blunt side of the iced knife actually feels like its really cutting so no danger involved unless your talking medical play which is a different thing all together

Yes easy to understand that one Rob.
Am sure that would be on Google too.

7 Jul 2010

Mods...
Would rooms of any description be allowed on this site?
Where is Davey when ya need him? lol

7 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
Mods...
Would rooms of any description be allowed on this site?
Where is Davey when ya need him?

I have checked with Admin re the official line on this... am waiting for a response. :thumbup:
Will let you know when I get one! wink

7 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
Mods...
Would rooms of any description be allowed on this site?
Where is Davey when ya need him?

It is a chatroom issue that needs to be addressed by the Chat-Ops. One is now on-board and will deal with the question............after she has done her nails, hair and make-up bolt

Dave_Notts

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Dave__Notts
Mods...
Would rooms of any description be allowed on this site?
Where is Davey when ya need him?

It is a chatroom issue that needs to be addressed by the Chat-Ops. One is now on-board and will deal with the question............after she has done her nails, hair and make-up bolt

Dave_Notts
That will be Anais then? Hold on it could be dirty I suppose....or possibly Mal? :lol:
Sorry Mal....only joking. :lol:

7 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
Mods...
Would rooms of any description be allowed on this site?
Where is Davey when ya need him?

It is a chatroom issue that needs to be addressed by the Chat-Ops. One is now on-board and will deal with the question............after she has done her nails, hair and make-up bolt

Dave_Notts
That will be Anaisy then? Hold on it could be dirty I suppose....or possibly Maly? :lol:
They are both Mods so it won't be them either. You haven't got to grips with the Mods and Chat-Op thing have you :lol:
Dave_Notts

7 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
Mods...
Would rooms of any description be allowed on this site?
Where is Davey when ya need him?

At this moment in time we don't close Fantasy rooms as we've seen that these rooms are based on pure fantasy with all participants consenting. We do monitor the chat room logs. Should there come a point when fantasy starts turning into reality, and therefore discussions become illegal, not only would the offenders be banned and reported, we'd probably propose to stop any future rooms even if they are on a fantasy level.

7 Jul 2010

oooooo this has been an interesting thread i never looked before thought it was bout phone networks doh opened by accident n glad i did some very interesting and informative posts
i like the knife play bit very clever not sure we r anywhere near ready for that yet but pricked my interest

7 Jul 2010

Quote by admin
At this moment in time we don't close Fantasy rooms as we've seen that these rooms are based on pure fantasy with all participants consenting. We do monitor the chat room logs. Should there come a point when fantasy starts turning into reality, and therefore discussions become illegal, not only would the offenders be banned and reported, we'd probably propose to stop any future rooms even if they are on a fantasy level.

Thanks admin as I was a bit confused...
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/81441.html

Quote by the-laird
The room has been deleted and the opener has been banned for 24 hrs.

As this slightly confused me.
Also

Quote by the-Laird
It's never tolerated on here

As

Quote by Missy
But because of the nature of the fantasy, it really shouldn't ever be 'advertised' by anyone - that is getting onto very dangerous territory, not fully knowing the person you're thinking of doing this with. It really is essential that the people who take part in this kind of scenario, have no less than 100% trust and faith in each other.
The danger element of this fantasy cannot be emphasised enough, it just isn't something you can advertise for

Who at the time of writing I believe was a moderator too?
I have not looked at other comments passed that one. It seems it was not allowed but now it is. dunno

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
oooooo this has been an interesting thread i never looked before thought it was bout phone networks doh opened by accident n glad i did some very interesting and informative posts
i like the knife play bit very clever not sure we r anywhere near ready for that yet but pricked my interest

i watched some and it did look very interesting :twisted:
We enjoy knife play.... even when knowing it is the blunt edge against your skin it is a really horny experience. You could probably do it with a butter knife and it would feel as good lol

We have gone more in depth with that side of our exploration, but it is something we would never share with anyone else except in our fantasies :twisted:

7 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
At this moment in time we don't close Fantasy rooms as we've seen that these rooms are based on pure fantasy with all participants consenting. We do monitor the chat room logs. Should there come a point when fantasy starts turning into reality, and therefore discussions become illegal, not only would the offenders be banned and reported, we'd probably propose to stop any future rooms even if they are on a fantasy level.

Thanks admin as I was a bit confused...
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/81441.html
I have not looked at other comments passed that one. It seems it was not allowed but now it is. dunno

Good bump... that was an interesting thread! :thumbup:
I bolded the bit that you seem to be confused about! wink

That thread was dated 2006... times change I guess.

7 Jul 2010

I know little of these matters.
I do know that auto erotic asphyxiation (where u do it to yourself) is the one that grabs all the media headlines and obviously increases the associated risks because the asphyxee is also the asphyxer.
That said I also recall that partner asphyxiation is particularly common in japanese culture and has been associated with a number of honeymoon deaths due to inexperience. This I believe has more to do with the technique of compressing the carotid artery in the neck which supplies the brain with blood rather than preventing breathing per se.
Thank you for starting the thread and thank you for the informed contributions. If anybody needs a Fanatsy Room hosting let me know, I had already been asked to do so by a friend and checked out the situation with a chatroom op.
In terms of risk, the lowest risk sexual activity is two people having sex only with each other for the rest of their lives. Anything beyond that increases the risks of illness and death. Its simply a matter of personal choice and I don't think anybody deserves to be judged for seeking knowledge that will help to keep them safer than they otherwise would be.

7 Jul 2010

Well said that man :thumbup:

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Ben_welshminx
I know little of these matters.
I do know that auto erotic asphyxiation (where u do it to yourself) is the one that grabs all the media headlines and obviously increases the associated risks because the asphyxee is also the asphyxer.
That said I also recall that partner asphyxiation is particularly common in japanese culture and has been associated with a number of honeymoon deaths due to inexperience. This I believe has more to do with the technique of compressing the carotid artery in the neck which supplies the brain with blood rather than preventing breathing per se.
Thank you for starting the thread and thank you for the informed contributions. If anybody needs a Fanatsy Room hosting let me know, I had already been asked to do so by a friend and checked out the situation with a chatroom op.
In terms of risk, the lowest risk sexual activity is two people having sex only with each other for the rest of their lives. Anything beyond that increases the risks of illness and death. Its simply a matter of personal choice and I don't think anybody deserves to be judged for seeking knowledge that will help to keep them safer than they otherwise would be.

:thumbup:

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Dirtygirly
I bolded the bit that you seem to be confused about!
That thread was dated 2006... times change I guess.

I am sure there has been a thread since that time,cannot be sure times do change but for the worse it seems with regard to this topic.I know I did report a room not too long ago as did others. Maybe someone can find the pm I sent? The offender was as far as I was told later, banned for it....certainly not 2006 but much later.

Quote by admin
the offenders be banned and reported

With some of the things I have seen people say on here, it is only a matter of time before something offensive is said on here, with regard to this particular topic.
With the blame culture going on now maybe the powers that be need to put a disclaimer down, just in case something goes wrong?
I cannot see anything worse on here than to put a fantasy room on the site.
Imagine IF someone on here has been , and then see people making light of it by using it as a fantasy...think about that just for a second.
I understand peoples outlook on this as being a bit of fun, that's fine...but to have it openly talked about on a site that has loads of rules as to what you can and cannot do, with something such as a topic beggars belief.
Believe me I am certainly no prude but I find this topic quite offensive.

7 Jul 2010

It's a sticky subject I guess. The comments Missy made in the previous thread struck a chord with me. It's all about consent and role play. I think the best thing to do would be to find a more appropriate name for it. No-one is condoning , not by a long way... but fantasies do exist. It's perfectly legal to fantasise about anything. It's not perfectly legal to carry out certain things but I suspect most of us know the difference.
The problem here is the word ' '. I don't think for a second that anyone is looking to be and I appreciate many people, men and women, have been victims of this sort of crime and realise that rooms/threads such as these would upset them.
We all have things that are unacceptable to us. I wouldn't drink engine oil for example. I think that's stupid and dangerous yet it appears some people don't. I wouldn't want someone to choke me to the point of unconsciousness (is that such a word?!) but I can see the appeal of violence/forced sex. For me that would have to be all about trust. I wouldn't meet a random to carry out that sort of fantasy. It would be with someone I trusted.
So maybe a new term for what we're talking about would be the way forward to save offending people?

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Dirtygirly
It's a sticky subject I guess. The comments Missy made in the previous thread struck a chord with me. It's all about consent and role play. I think the best thing to do would be to find a more appropriate name for it. No-one is condoning , not by a long way... but fantasies do exist. It's perfectly legal to fantasise about anything. It's not perfectly legal to carry out certain things but I suspect most of us know the difference.

Of course fantasies exist, whether we carry them out or not is a personnel choice between consenting adults. Yes and of course people know the difference between right and wrong, but people still do the wrongs, being one of them.

Quote by Dirtygirly
The problem here is the word ' '. I don't think for a second that anyone is looking to be and I appreciate many people, men and women, have been victims of this sort of crime and realise that rooms/threads such as these would upset them.

Of course rooms with in them would offend people that have been , and some like me who have not. I do not know how else you could word something like this other than " ".It could be say forced sex but that pretty much says the same thing?

Quote by Dirtygirly
We all have things that are unacceptable to us. I wouldn't drink engine oil for example. I think that's stupid and dangerous yet it appears some people don't. I wouldn't want someone to choke me to the point of unconsciousness (is that such a word?!) but I can see the appeal of violence/forced sex. For me that would have to be all about trust. I wouldn't meet a random to carry out that sort of fantasy. It would be with someone I trusted.

There are a lot of people out there who would find this kind of thing a turn on, and to openly have a room on this site and talk about experiences of , possibly would lead others to act it out, but not as someones fantasy?

Quote by Dirtygirly
So maybe a new term for what we're talking about would be the way forward to save offending people?

I cannot think of something that means fantasy , that would not mean the same thing.
Maybe I am just being an old fuddy duddy, and need to get with the times. dunno

7 Jul 2010

An interesting artical...

7 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
It's a sticky subject I guess. The comments Missy made in the previous thread struck a chord with me. It's all about consent and role play. I think the best thing to do would be to find a more appropriate name for it. No-one is condoning , not by a long way... but fantasies do exist. It's perfectly legal to fantasise about anything. It's not perfectly legal to carry out certain things but I suspect most of us know the difference.

Of course fantasies exist, whether we carry them out or not is a personnel choice between consenting adults. Yes and of course people know the difference between right and wrong, but people still do the wrongs, being one of them.
Of course people do wrongs. I don't think having discussions about consensual sex in role play form on a swinging site is going to make people more likely to commit in reality. Perhaps that's naive of me but I'd rather go through life seeing the best in people than the worst.

Quote by kentswingers777
The problem here is the word ' '. I don't think for a second that anyone is looking to be and I appreciate many people, men and women, have been victims of this sort of crime and realise that rooms/threads such as these would upset them.

Of course rooms with in them would offend people that have been , and some like me who have not. I do not know how else you could word something like this other than " ".It could be say forced sex but that pretty much says the same thing?
People are offended by all sorts. I think we need to measure our behaviour to a certain extent but I don't think we are responsible for other people. I think we are responsible for ourselves and how we behave, not how other people behave. If we conduct ourselves in an acceptable manner then we surely can't be penalised for that. If I fantasise about being held down and fucked by force with a hand over my mouth and a little violence thrown in by someone I trust then that's my choice to make and why shouldn't I be able to discuss it on an adult site? I'm not suggesting that other people go out and do this to complete strangers, I'm sure no-one would suggest that but again we can't be responsible for other people's actions.

Quote by kentswingers777
We all have things that are unacceptable to us. I wouldn't drink engine oil for example. I think that's stupid and dangerous yet it appears some people don't. I wouldn't want someone to choke me to the point of unconsciousness (is that such a word?!) but I can see the appeal of violence/forced sex. For me that would have to be all about trust. I wouldn't meet a random to carry out that sort of fantasy. It would be with someone I trusted.

There are a lot of people out there who would find this kind of thing a turn on, and to openly have a room on this site and talk about experiences of , possibly would lead others to act it out, but not as someones fantasy?
confused

I'm thankful that I'm not that cynical. I don't think a conversation about a fantasy would lead to reality in that manner. I've certainly had my eyes opened since becoming an Op here and whilst I'm sure there are people out there who do not behave well, why should everyone else curtail their conversations because they have no self control? It's not for us to decide what's acceptable to other people... only for ourselves.

Quote by kentswingers777
So maybe a new term for what we're talking about would be the way forward to save offending people?

I cannot think of something that means fantasy , that would not mean the same thing.
Maybe I am just being an old fuddy duddy, and need to get with the times. dunno

I don't think so at all... we all have our comfort levels and boundaries of what's acceptable to us. It's allowed. No-one says that you have to spend time in rooms that you find distasteful. There are a lot of other rooms you could hang out in.
Perhaps we should take Ben up on his offer to host a room. The logs of these kind of rooms are always checked and appropriate action taken by Admin. I think monitoring them is certainly advisable, however, I don't think you can stamp the conversation out altogether just because some people find it unacceptable. Each to their own.
As an aside... glad you got the quote thing sorted! :thumbup:

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Dirtygirly
Perhaps we should take Ben up on his offer to host a room. The logs of these kind of rooms are always checked and appropriate action taken by Admin. I think monitoring them is certainly advisable, however, I don't think you can stamp the conversation out altogether just because some people find it unacceptable. Each to their own.

Why would you have too if the rooms are allowed? Because quite possibly at some point it would not?
If that is what Benny wants to do, then let him. Knowing him from the forums I am sure he will report any incident to admin that is unacceptable.

Quote by Dirtygirly
As an aside... glad you got the quote thing sorted! :thumbup:

Yes it took a bloody age to learn how to do it. I had about ten different people tell me how to do it, but just could not grasp it.
It does make things a bit easier for others to read I must admit, thanks for your help. wink

At first I had to follow it step by step and got pissed off with that...so walked away and came back to it.
Now I can do it without even opening a second page or looking at my stack of papers. lol

7 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
Perhaps we should take Ben up on his offer to host a room. The logs of these kind of rooms are always checked and appropriate action taken by Admin. I think monitoring them is certainly advisable, however, I don't think you can stamp the conversation out altogether just because some people find it unacceptable. Each to their own.

Why would you have too if the rooms are allowed? Because quite possibly at some point it would not?
If that is what Benny wants to do, then let him. Knowing him from the forums I am sure he will report any incident to admin that is unacceptable.
Because as a host of a room, Ben would be unable to monitor the whispers and therefore can only report comments made in open chat, which is why Admin check the logs. Just because a room has an acceptable name to you and I, doesn't mean that the chat in it is acceptable. Which again goes back to it being the word ' ' that's the problem rather than the act of role play and consensual sex.

Quote by kentswingers777
As an aside... glad you got the quote thing sorted! :thumbup:

Yes it took a bloody age to learn how to do it. I had about ten different people tell me how to do it, but just could not grasp it.
It does make things a bit easier for others to read I must admit, thanks for your help. wink

At first I had to follow it step by step and got pissed off with that...so walked away and came back to it.
Now I can do it without even opening a second page or looking at my stack of papers. lol

:lol: It's like the links... took me an age to figure that out... easy once you know how though!

7 Jul 2010

You'll never please all of the people all of the time. lol

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Dirtygirly
You'll never please all of the people all of the time.

I do try.... :lol:

7 Jul 2010

It makes sense to me that folk would be more offended if they wandered into a disingenuously named room and found it full of folk discussing fantasies. If its clearly labelled there is no need to go in is there.
It reminds me of the joke about the policeman turning up at the home of a lady who complained that she can see the neighbour opposite masturbating through the window. The copper looks out the window and can see nothing. Ahhh explains the lady u have to climb on top of the wardrobe between 8am and 6pm, I usually take a flask of tea up with me.

7 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
At this moment in time we don't close Fantasy rooms as we've seen that these rooms are based on pure fantasy with all participants consenting. We do monitor the chat room logs. Should there come a point when fantasy starts turning into reality, and therefore discussions become illegal, not only would the offenders be banned and reported, we'd probably propose to stop any future rooms even if they are on a fantasy level.

As

Quote by Missy
But because of the nature of the fantasy, it really shouldn't ever be 'advertised' by anyone - that is getting onto very dangerous territory, not fully knowing the person you're thinking of doing this with. It really is essential that the people who take part in this kind of scenario, have no less than 100% trust and faith in each other.
The danger element of this fantasy cannot be emphasised enough, it just isn't something you can advertise for

Who at the time of writing I believe was a moderator too?
I have not looked at other comments passed that one. It seems it was not allowed but now it is. dunno

Can I just comment on this as it's a quote by me lol

It was at the time my personal thoughts, not a modding answer. I even put the word 'advertised' in them "''" things. I was talking about what I thought about it as a fantasy, and the issues of carrying out said fantasy, ie I personally didn't think it was safe to 'advertise' for or carry out with a stranger, or anyone that you didn't have 100% trust in.
The thread this came from, I thought, was a cracking thread. It talked about, helped me out a lot with and understand, fantasy. Personally I can't see anything wrong with talking about this in a chatroom.
Now, 'advertising' for it, in either the chatroom, forums or ads, I think is entering very dangerous territory.
Have I gone off topic? Sorry if I have, just wanted to explain my quote biggrin

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
i think that if someone is going to be upset or offended by the word they will be upset or offended whatever you call the fact is it is a very commen fantasy,one that many people who have been also to guess what will or wont offend is a very tricky game,and one that is so subjective i do not think it is worth playing.

Sorry but that has got to be about one of the most disgusting inaccurate statements I have ever read on this site, in five years.
Your seriously telling me and others that people who have been , actually have fantasies about it happening to them again? loon

It beggars belief....it really does.
I am starting to get very angry so best if I now walk away and calm down a bit.

7 Jul 2010

Quote by kentswingers777
i think that if someone is going to be upset or offended by the word they will be upset or offended whatever you call the fact is it is a very commen fantasy,one that many people who have been also to guess what will or wont offend is a very tricky game,and one that is so subjective i do not think it is worth playing.

Sorry but that has got to be about one of the most disgusting inaccurate statements I have ever read on this site, in five years.
Your seriously telling me and others that people who have been , actually have fantasies about it happening to them again? loon

It beggars belief....it really does.
I am starting to get very angry so best if I now walk away and calm down a bit.
I think thats just emotional incorrect typing by Kaz confused

I think Kaz was suggesting that no matter what you call fantasy , to those that have suffered , it is still offensive.
I might be wrong dunno

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
It's a sticky subject I guess. The comments Missy made in the previous thread struck a chord with me. It's all about consent and role play. I think the best thing to do would be to find a more appropriate name for it. No-one is condoning , not by a long way... but fantasies do exist. It's perfectly legal to fantasise about anything. It's not perfectly legal to carry out certain things but I suspect most of us know the difference.
The problem here is the word ' '. I don't think for a second that anyone is looking to be and I appreciate many people, men and women, have been victims of this sort of crime and realise that rooms/threads such as these would upset them.
We all have things that are unacceptable to us. I wouldn't drink engine oil for example. I think that's stupid and dangerous yet it appears some people don't. I wouldn't want someone to choke me to the point of unconsciousness (is that such a word?!) but I can see the appeal of violence/forced sex. For me that would have to be all about trust. I wouldn't meet a random to carry out that sort of fantasy. It would be with someone I trusted.
So maybe a new term for what we're talking about would be the way forward to save offending people?

i think that if someone is going to be upset or offended by the word they will be upset or offended whatever you call the fact is it is a very commen fantasy,one that many people who have been also to guess what will or wont offend is a very tricky game,and one that is so subjective i do not think it is worth playing.
thats a turn around kas recently you you got very offended when i mentioned the of Britain's pension fund by gordon brown and you didnt make a big enough thing about that did you innocent

as for the comment about being and then having fantasy`s about it i`ll take it you was multitasking or something and not thinking about what you was writing
or are you suggesting that a few thousand kids are going to bed and hopeing their step fathers going to visit later dunno

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Dawnie
I think thats just emotional incorrect typing by Kaz

Seems you was wrong and I was right.
Even before a room is introduced you have a woman telling us that a VICTIM can fantasise about being again.,...utter rubbish. Why is it that sometimes I think people say things purely for shock value?
People can introduce links as much as they like, probably from some lefty Uni tosser, who then does a study of whatever bollox, and then comes up with a bunch of figures which to me mean nothing at all.
I cannot find any reason at all why any woman after being , which invariably means violently, would actually contemplate or even think about wanting that again....if they did they really need to be put away under the mental health act.
I am really suprised that other women have not answered this to be honest.
Produce as many links as you like, it will not alter the fact that IF a room is opened on here about , it will not be long before it is shut down.
I just cannot understand the thinking behind the site owners even contemplating a room such as this. Still is not my site and the proof will be in the pudding when it does not last a month, and God knows what kind of people will be attracted by a room with this in the title.

7 Jul 2010

Quote by Kaznkev
i am sorry if the world is more complex and less black and white than you both might imagine,
A quote from a well respected the study on fantasies
"Aversive fantasies. Of all the fantasies written, 9% were completely aversive. In all aversive fantasies, self-character non-consent was real; and in nearly all, the self-character was resistant throughout the interaction (91%).
Women who had been comprised 21% of the sample. Of the aversive fantasies, 36% were written by women who had been . Further, there was a negative point biserial correlation between history of being and the continuum score (r=-.23, p < .05); those who had been wrote logs that were more aversive than erotic."
the full study is here,

There is also evidence,although i cant find the study that some survivors find playing out their fantasies in a different context empowering.
Rob,i object to the use of the word to refer to things other than non consensual there is a good debate to be had about whether in play it is ,and if it is not should it not have a different name.
What is currently happening to a child has nothing to do with the fantasy life of consenting adults.

then i would suggest that you clarify your point before making such statements
something that seems to change with your moods if read as has been on here
knowing a victim i think they would argue your point no end it also seems to go against the whole feminist movement which you belong
having been on here a short time kas with respect you do seem to have a rather large shovel that you constantly dig big holes with and i fear will swallow you up one day
and lets not kid our selves are you happy to be in real life to complete
a fantasy as i doubt very much that real women will in fact would agree to the fact of being violated in such away .
and even fewer would would suffer the violence that accompanies it
all in all kas my advice to you would be to stop digging and start climbing my love