Our Opinions Dont Hate us For It!

25 Sep 2004

HungryP,you definately should have more on posting get to know some of us a bit better and the confidence will can be a daunting place to start with but you soon get the feel of it.
I can't believe that you think that were part of the crowd,i'm sorry if it comes over to you like that,but we are most definately part of the out crowd lol

25 Sep 2004

Quote by Silk and Big G
Take a bit of advice from Silk's hand book. Don't lose any sleep about it, focus on the people that you are and what you want to achieve from Swinging Heaven. That way, there's no room for disappointment.

Never a better word has been spoken,very true

25 Sep 2004

No sleep has been lost but it can be quite annoying!!!! confused

25 Sep 2004

well i've missed most of this thread as it happened, and it's too long now to make specific replies. i can see how in some eyes i could be open to some of the criticisms made on this thread, and my general reply would be this.
when i joined this site. i too felt very much on the outside, looking at what appeared to be an in crowd. the more i contributed, the less i felt that was true. in doing that i discovered a particular style of post, which seemed to suit me, and worked quite well. those who also post in a similar vein responded, and we ended up pretty much on eachothers wavelength. we leave lines dangling for eachother, knowing that they'll be picked up, and bounced back, with another dangling line in return. you need to know people pretty well to do that. there are a few, no names, they're obvious, who i join in with on this. that's not to say we exclude anyone else deliberately, even though some of the threads i contribute to often end up as a four or five way conversation.
hijacking threads is generally only done on flippant threads to start with, and usually the thread is pretty redundant and sinking already before anyone steps in with a blatant hijack. we all respect the site, and it's members, and have constant worries ourselves about the contribution we make. TE posted a thread killing thread a while back. even long established regs can sometimes feel ignored, or that their post has just murdered a little innocent thread. it is human nature.
i can't keep saying this. in the time i've been here, i have yet to find an in-crowd. if there was i very much doubt i would ever be part of it. but if you make effort, and think in general about what you post ((( stop sniggering at the back! ))) and find something that works for you, you will develop your own circle. i do not expect everyone in the world to like me or to respond to me. some do, and that's enough!
neil x x x ;)

25 Sep 2004

QED. Thanks Neil!!!
Now can we let the fucking thing die!!!!!!!

26 Sep 2004

Phew! Just managed to read all 7 pages of this thread! As a relative newcomer to this board, I too thought there was an in crowd and that Clare and Steve were very much a part of that. Obviously, I was wrong. I'm not bothered by the fact that there is (or is not) an in crowd. I suppose it's inevitable and natural that people will form little sub groups. I don't always read all the new threads, I just sort of "graze" and might just nibble on one or two here and there. So there must be loads of great threads I miss out on. Obviously, Clare and Steve you are both very popular posters and well liked so just keep on doing what you are doing :love:

26 Sep 2004

By the way just read the Davej avatar challenge. I never even looked at it before cos the title of the thread didn't get my attention for some reason. Anyway, someone mentioned it on another thread I read this morning so decided to hunt it down. God I am sooooooooo glad I did. What a scream. Laugh? I nearly fell off me chair rotflmao

26 Sep 2004

Quote by westerross
Now can we let the fucking thing die!!!!!!!

26 Sep 2004

I think Claire does have a valid point.....there are times when I think we do feel a little on the outside looking in. I myself have only been here for 6 months now and probably only be in forum for 2/3 months, so actually find it strangely re-assureing that someone like Claire with over 2000 posts still feels a little alienated at times.

26 Sep 2004

Quote by deancannock
I think Claire does have a valid point.....there are times when I think we do feel a little on the outside looking in. I myself have only been here for 6 months now and probably only be in forum for 2/3 months, so actually find it strangely re-assureing that someone like Claire with over 2000 posts still feels a little alienated at times.

Youve hit the nail on the head there,thank you! biggrin

26 Sep 2004

Just my 2p on this
Of course there are sub groups, but I wouldn't say there is one particular in group. I pop in and out of threads, even though I am on the forum ALL THE TIME :eeek: I don't have time to reply to everything and indeed I don't have something to say on everything - therefore there are threads that I don't reply to even though maybe sometimes I should. Anyways, Clare and Steve, I'm sorry you feel excluded or that people are not replying to things you are posting, but as the forum increases in membership most people aren't going to be able to post on lots of threads - as people have said on this thread, they tend to post on the things that they consider the most interesting or relevant to them. Some people rarely come in the cafe at all, but they are regular posters, say on the dogging forum. Such is life, and such is the nature of the forum now it has such a diverse readership. I would certainly say that you two ARE popular on the cafe and people would miss you if you weren't here.
On a more general note, I think everyone found it difficult at first. I remember feeling daunted about posting on the forum (long time ago) cos I felt that everyone knew each other and I didn't fit in. It took quite a few posts before I got to know people. Now I've met almost all of the regs and many of the occassional posters I feel that I am among friends when I am on here. If you are new and you like what you see, but you feel uncertain, stick it out! It's just like making friends in any social situation, it takes a bit of time. Just cos this is a cyber environment it doesn't mean the social rules are any different than in real life. If you are new, or even if you are not new but you have been sitting on the sidelines, people are very happy to chat to you if they know you are there! Of course there are sub groups of friends who tend to chat to each other, but it doesn't mean that they are excluding you! Just barge your way in and have fun!!!! lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: wink

:wink: :wink:

26 Sep 2004

Quote by deancannock
I think Claire does have a valid point.....there are times when I think we do feel a little on the outside looking in. I myself have only been here for 6 months now and probably only be in forum for 2/3 months, so actually find it strangely re-assureing that someone like Claire with over 2000 posts still feels a little alienated at times.

Did anyone read what I posted a few windows up??
If you feel that you are being snubbed by someone, although an unpleasant experience, you'd have to ask yourself, if they are capable of such behaviour, do you really give a fuck what they think anyhow?
Why strive to be a part of a clique??? Why lose your individuality? Why waste endless hours fretting about not being accepted by a small group of people? Is it REALLYthat important??
Once, you have the ability to love yourself and be yourself and like your own company, the world's your play ground. I know it sounds clichÃ© but adapt my attitude 'If you don't like me, it's your fucking loss'
The only opinions I actuallygive a toss about come from the ones that I hold closest to me. I dont set out to upset people I dont know personally, but at the end of the day I don't have the time or the inclination to try and please every person that's crossed my path and the people that like me, do so because I am myself.
Its really that simple.

26 Sep 2004

Having finally read the full 7 pages of this thread I now have to respond to it!
I'm just saying the same as others really ....
At first it did seem a bit daunting posting on here and it did feel a bit 'cliquey' and I didn't know if I'd fit in, but I like it here and thought "what the hell - if they don't like it, tough titties!" (or it might have been "chewy nads" I can't remember...)
I rarely start threads for fear of ridicule or being ignored and 'cos I can't think of anything to say!
It can be disheartening when you've put a lot of effort into a post or made a hugely witty remark and it just gets ignored. (OK, so maybe I'm the only person who finds me funny but you could at least be polite and raise a titter).
I think there is something of an 'in-crowd' or clique, or maybe several, but like everyone else has said, that's life!
I use the chatroom a lot and there's often 'newbies' complaining that it's cliquey and we must have all met each other and why are they being ignored blah blah. Someone made me think a bit last week. I was saying my goodbyes (it's like the bleddy Waltons in there) and I said something like "I'm off to the Forum now to write a few boring posts to annoy the regulars" and someone said "you are a regular!"
I don't think I'm part of any crowd but neither do Clare and Steve and I think they are!!!
I say we all have our insecurities but just go with the flow. It's all you can do.

26 Sep 2004

OK time for me to be a bit controversial. I usually shy away from being at the centre of controversy but I feel this HAS to be said.
I'm still not sure exactly who you were referring to when you originally started this thread - and neither do I want to know. Yes, there are certain groups of people who interract very well together, you yourselves are part of one particular group who all posts and reply to one another. Nobody has a problem with this (as far as I'm aware). Its just something that happens. I personally find it hilarious when certain groups banter amongst themselves. OK, I might not feel able to join in, but thats my choice, I still enjoy reading it and it makes me laugh, so I don't see the harm in it.
What I DO object to is the kind of bad feeling I get from posts like this:

Quote by Clare_Lincs

Now can we let the fucking thing die!!!!!!!

Sorry Tune,but like the title says its our opinions dont hate us for entitled to it and weve obviously put points across that others agree with and have opinions on so whats wrong with that??
If peeps wanna keep replying then let them do it without moaning about it please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If your annoyed with this thread,dont read it!!!
You were saying a few pages back that you were glad this hadn't degenerated into a slanging match, and until this post, it wasn't anything like a slanging match.
I have to echo Tune's sentiment though. You have brought up the subject of cliques and so-called "in-crowds". I feel that you bringing it up has made something that may or may not have been there suddenly a HUGE issue on the forum.
Yes, new forum members will feel a little "outsider-ish", but thats just as it was for the rest of us when we were new members. I don't see how someone who has over 2000 posts can feel like an outsider though. Surely if things were that bad here you would have left long before the 1000 mark?
I'd love to see this issue die, but I'm actually quite annoyed by the fact that you object to people having an opinion that differs to your own. I also noticed in another thread that this kind of discussion had been referred to as "rubbish talk of cliques" and you objected in a way that I personallyperceived as being at least brusque and at worst quite nasty. However, when I read the originator's comment, I took it to mean the several discussions in general, not a personal attack on yourselves.
I think the thing to remember here is the fact that you have brought the issue into the forum. Several different threads have been started as a result, and there are a lot of differing opinions on the subject. You said yourself that it's your opinion and not to hate you for it. Surely you should afford the same courtesy to others as well?

26 Sep 2004

Bravo Angel Chat!
Entirely agree with everything you've said. Couldn't have put it better myself.
Tracy-Jayne

26 Sep 2004

Thread locked at Clare's request