People Who Do Not Read Ads And Just Mail You Anyway

3 Nov 2008

I know this has been discussed before, but recently our ad has been inundated with replies from people, predominantly men, who choose not to read our wants and desires and mail us even though they are not what we are looking for.
We spend hours going through unsuitable mail every week and feel it is about time the people like us should be able to fight back !!!
Sorts of things we get are
bi male interested males, even though the ad says male is 100% straight
people outwith our desired age range, we are VERY clear what age of people we are seeking so when someone is 10 years younger than we want, it is just taking the p**s !!!
smokers even though we state we are FERVANT non smokers
and the most annoying, people who wink, when we say at the top of the ad we bin them, what is the point of that???
We know there are many great people on here who take time to respond to ads correctly but there appears to be a significant number who just answer any ad that they fancy with no thought for the people who place the ads.
Is it not time that the decent people on SH get a chance to advertise names of people who continually disrespect the good people by just answering any ad they fancy without checking to see if they are suitable?
Either that or we could mail a mod or have some sort of warning feedback system to enter negative comments re inappropriate response to an ad, This need not include comments, just a negative mark to show others, including mods, that some people need to be advised of appropriate response to ads.
Sorry for the rant, but if the level of unsuitable mail we get continues, we will seriously consider not renewing our membership next time round.
Over to you guys................ mad

3 Nov 2008

aaagggghhhhh !!!!! wink

thanks

3 Nov 2008

oooooh...... a couple of things.....
1) are you aware that you can actually auto answer winks so that you never see them!
if you go into "my settings"......half way down is "my mail settings"....where there is a wink auto responder, so you can set that to auto answer any winks that come in!!!
and also one other thing.... and it is one of the things that is really beginning to grate me....
just because someone may say they happen to be a bi male, it doesn't mean they are going to jump on your man wink

after all, I would assume that you have your own lines that you won't cross.... as long as you make clear where the boundries are, is that not good enough?
I am not bi at all , but that is very presumptive of you and I see more and more couples doing this and it feels like it is almost bordering on being homophobic
I have played with bi couples who know i am straight... so as long as people are clear with that, that is good enough.........
I understand your frustrations that you are not finding what you are after..... and hopefully you do find what you are after,
maybe it would be worth them blocking the mail facility to more types of people based on just male,female and couple as they do at the mo....
age may be one of the factors they look at it....
bi people might be another....
distance would be another....
but i bet you are going to be missing out on more people that you would consider that it would be worth in the long run
sean xxxxx

3 Nov 2008

@ fabio
Thanks very much for the info re mail settings, have now adjusted the setting biggrin

"I am not bi at all , but that is very presumptive of you and I see more and more couples doing this and it feels like it is almost bordering on being homophobic"
Appreciate the input re the bi male comments, but have to say that suggesting that it is bordering on homophobic is ridiculous to us. We have made a choice of likes and dislikes in OUR advert. Neither of us is homophobic and to suggest such a thing is just a bit of insult to us. We are all entitled to views/desires etc and if we suggest we do not want a particular sexual type to contact us, are we not entitled to do so?? We worded our ad very clearly and surely anyone who reads the ad completely is showing disrespect to us by responding to an ad that they clearly do not meet the desired criteria??
How many ads do you see with comments such as "no beer bellies " etc etc, are you going to claim that people who say this are being fattist!!!!!
Where does it stop??
@ Whipsnspurs
Thanks also for your comments, re the bi male issue, it is not just the male who does not wish any contact, the female does not wish contact with a bi male. Is her opinion not important also?? Everyone assumes it is the male person who is the one who is against contact with a bi male, in our case it is both of us.
Thanks for the replies and suggestion re the mail settings.

3 Nov 2008

Quote by Booty-licious
@ fabio
Thanks very much for the info re mail settings, have now adjusted the setting
"I am not bi at all , but that is very presumptive of you and I see more and more couples doing this and it feels like it is almost bordering on being homophobic"
Appreciate the input re the bi male comments, but have to say that suggesting that it is bordering on homophobic is ridiculous to us. We have made a choice of likes and dislikes in OUR advert. Neither of us is homophobic and to suggest such a thing is just a bit of insult to us. We are all entitled to views/desires etc and if we suggest we do not want a particular sexual type to contact us, are we not entitled to do so?? We worded our ad very clearly and surely anyone who reads the ad completely is showing disrespect to us by responding to an ad that they clearly do not meet the desired criteria??
How many ads do you see with comments such as "no beer bellies " etc etc, are you going to claim that people who say this are being fattist!!!!!
Where does it stop??
@ Whipsnspurs
Thanks also for your comments, re the bi male issue, it is not just the male who does not wish any contact, the female does not wish contact with a bi male. Is her opinion not important also?? Everyone assumes it is the male person who is the one who is against contact with a bi male, in our case it is both of us.
Thanks for the replies and suggestion re the mail settings.

Bootlicious you have every right to do so,i come across ads which says no blacks or whites,and must respect peoples choices

3 Nov 2008

Quote by Booty-licious
Is it not time that the decent people on SH get a chance to advertise names of people who continually disrespect the good people by just answering any ad they fancy without checking to see if they are suitable?
Either that or we could mail a mod or have some sort of warning feedback system to enter negative comments re inappropriate response to an ad, This need not include comments, just a negative mark to show others, including mods, that some people need to be advised of appropriate response to ads.
Sorry for the rant, but if the level of unsuitable mail we get continues, we will seriously consider not renewing our membership next time round.
Over to you guys................

A feedback system has been discussed many times and won't happen.
As for the admin having any control over who sends what mail - how would you feel, as a paying member, if admin told you who you couldn't email? If they told me that, I'd tell them to bugger off if I were paying!
It's just mail - delete it. confused

3 Nov 2008

Quote by Whipsnspurs
i'm curious now though as to why you as a female would also not want to meet bi males. and yes i am being nosey rather than judgmental
whips

no worries :D its just personal choice, nothing more than that lol

@phuckers
Thanks for that comment, could not have put it better myself.
@Frecklebird
Thanks, very good suggestion re binning mail :lol:
Just needed to get the rant of my chest, all better now :D

3 Nov 2008

Kill em all!

5 Nov 2008

well I was going to say make sure all this is clear in your ad.....but have just read your ad and it is more than clear exactly what you want and don't want. And I think you have a 100% right to say what you want or don't want. So can fully understand your frustration. The problem is..and its really a compliment...your pics are rather good..you looking somewhat wonderful if I may say so...so people will chance their arm in the hope of a meet.
Now what I would say..is that there are hundreds and thousands of male ads ... maybe take a look and rather than wait for them to come to you... you pick the ones you think fit your criteria and send them a message.
Good luck.

6 Nov 2008

Yes auto repsonses to winks works well.
I used to use a password secreted at the end of the profile which had to be inserted in the header in capitals as teh first word. Any mails from unknown parties not showing the password can be deleted quickly. Hope this helps.