People who reply to ads then disappear

4 Mar 2006

Judy, you're not alone on this one - a couple of times i've got talking (via messaging) to people on here who then decide (usually after a request for pics) to stop sending emails.
Now, if they don't like the look of me, then a polite no thanks after all that messaging would seem polite, but the worrying thing is, most of them have commented nicely on my pics. confused

4 Mar 2006

i have to agree with you,i dont seem to get past the first email,get a response then absolutly nothing,not even a thanks but no thanks,and i have to say it does seem to happen more on this site,but with a bigger membership you will have a bigger pool of timewasters

4 Mar 2006

Judy - just a thought - their single month subscription has expired dunno

4 Mar 2006

Quote by paul3765
i have to agree with you,i dont seem to get past the first email,get a response then absolutly nothing,not even a thanks but no thanks,and i have to say it does seem to happen more on this site,but with a bigger membership you will have a bigger pool of timewasters

I don't think they are all timewasters.
Some will be, but there are also...
some change their mind - for a variety of reasons...
some experience changes in circumstances...
some lose track of who they were talking to ( I do that all the time if it involves too many people)...
and some get caught by their wives.
I am sure there are plenty more reasons, which will include those who just wanted to see what happened if they replied.
Such is life!

4 Mar 2006

you may well be right,but it is still annoying ? but as you say" such is life"

4 Mar 2006

I would sooner have someone disappear from the face of the earth than say they love doing this that and the other and when you meet them they turn out to be a right prudish crap shag - that is a bigger waste of my time than anything (and ferkin frustrating too!) mad

4 Mar 2006

didn`t someone say that the system catches e- mail adresses in our messages and zaps them???
maybe u should try disguising them????

4 Mar 2006

Quote by twos_company
didn`t someone say that the system catches e- mail adresses in our messages and zaps them???
maybe u should try disguising them????

If it is meant to - then it doesn't work!
I have received loads - even in the PM subject box too!

4 Mar 2006

im loud forward and boisterous and still a crap shag biggrin

....
but seriously(though i am a crap shag ...honest)
i think judy that lots of people on this site and similar.....consider themselves straight and label themselves maybe bi-curious....they may reply to an ad and lack the bottle so to speak to carry through any other contact......
in my eyes thats their problem to come to terms with if they so choose. but i do admit it must be annoying after a few of these responses......
im sure if they did pluck up the courage to meet you they would be happy that they did...
i mean im straight ...didnt reply to an ad and still snogged you if i remember correctly on a night out in the village smile

but to quote a nice person i met a few times....
bread on the water :D
dargento xxx

4 Mar 2006

we have had this lots of times too, but have to say most of the time, not all, they has been a good reason. But I have to agree with what has been said, when you have been chatting with lots of peeps you sometimes lose track of where you were, so sorry to anyone that we havent got back too, it wasnt meant as we always say 'no thanks' if not intrested etc etc
I have to say the best disapearing act we have heard of is from some m8s of ours who got a mail from a bloke saying 'would you like to sleep with my wife she is well sexy' our male m8 replied with 'no shes a dragon I wouldnt touch her' this bloke came back with a shocked reply and asked why? our male m8 said 'cos I have to live with her thats why' lol this bloke had nicked their photos of another site, cheeky sod, needless to say he disapeared lol

:lol: :lol:

4 Mar 2006

our male m8 said 'cos I have to live with her thats why' lol this bloke had nicked their photos of another site, cheeky sod, needless to say he disapeared

I've had that happen - a couple I used to know (they moved away sadly sad

) arranged to meet a bloke who had used pics of me (and I'm no oil painting unless we're talking surrealist art!). They also invited me along.
It was fun. :twisted:

4 Mar 2006

This is a question to which you regularly reply to other posters. The answer usually being, that its par for the course, etc.
But cheer up honey, they'll soon be flocking in.

4 Mar 2006

Quote by JudyTV
This is a question to which you regularly reply to other posters. The answer usually being, that its par for the course, etc.
But cheer up honey, they'll soon be flocking in.

I'm not sure you are following the post here. Replies flocking in isn't the problem, they already do that. Its the ones I reply to who disappear after they have replied that I am questioning, the ones I reply back to and then make arrangements to meet are fine. The response to my ads are roughly the same as they have always been for the last two years.
It wasn't par for the course before Christmas, yes there was always some that disappeared naturally but there has been a distinct increase and that is what I find strange.
Jude
Maybe ......... some people only pay to join for a month .......... then cant reply yo you unless they pay again ???
Just a thought
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

4 Mar 2006

So the moan is that there is an increase in guys who don't respond after your first reply.
Have you been sending out to many replies then?

4 Mar 2006

Judy.......as usual, an eloquent and concise rebuttal!
If only more people handled things as well as you do instead of resorting to slanging matches!
Just the excuse I needed to go back to my post & big you up!
kiss

4 Mar 2006

So have you got an idea why it might be happening then Judy?

5 Mar 2006

Perhaps it's your avatar...... :P
CC....... cool

5 Mar 2006

This has happened to us quite a lot also sad

sometimes get 3-4 post down the line before the person/people vanish by which time as Judy says they already had our email and had seen our pictures. Maybe these people just bottle it6 or maybe they just like the thrill of gettting replys then bow out when it gets to far.
A lot of you said you get lots of replys on the photo ads section. To be honest we get very few, is there an obvious reason why? if so please do let me know. Wont be offended so dont worry about that smile

Mr Tweeky

5 Mar 2006

'Round about Christmas the 'membership' here went up from 30k to 350k. I know that most of those were registered in the Ads section before but might it be something along the lines of quantity not quality?

5 Mar 2006

It isnt just the ads section. We have had a quite a few asking to come to the Wigan Munch. As it was the first post from a few of them, we have asked them to get themselves known a little more and then get back to me.
However, thats it, you never hear from them again, they dont post again, and vanish off the face of the eart!
As with a lot of things, it probably seemed a good idea at the time of the post/pm/email but after thinking about it, they have decided to do a runner!
Their loss, not ours wink

5 Mar 2006

Re the message from Mr Tweeky (how do you do that thing where you paste a previous post in a box?):
We also get very few replies to our ad â€“ often none at all after an updating. I had thought that it was because of our age â€“ we are older than the average couple on here â€“ but if it happens to youngsters like the Tweekys then perhaps not. What pisses me off most is when you return facial photos and the other couple reply to say they like them, then when you try to arrange a meeting you hear nothing else. Mostly pic collectors or husbands trying in vain to persuade their wives to swing I guess. Another pet hate is when you reply to an ad in which you fulfil all the criteria asked for (age, location, sexual orientation and likes etc) and then you do not even get a reply. How long does it take to just type â€˜Thanks but no thanksâ€™ and hit the send button? We even reply with a â€˜no thanksâ€™ to single guys even though we say in our ad that we are not looking for single guys. How much more pleasant it would be if all couples were nice, normal, friendly people like us?

5 Mar 2006

Quote by JudyTV
A lot of you said you get lots of replys on the photo ads section. To be honest we get very few, is there an obvious reason why? if so please do let me know. Wont be offended so dont worry about that
Mr Tweeky

Not sure if this helps but In an attempt to answer the question above, I have more than one ad ( all different categories) and in the past I have had as many as six ads running at once on SH (I know sad isn't it rolleyes

) plus three or four on other sites such as TV or fetish sites plus other trans sites, well, I need all the help I can get. I think that is why I get a fair few replies because I have had replies here on SH from people saying they have seen my ad on a Tranny site and have decided to reply here.
I have used different types of contact sites for many years and have met friends I still see many years later. Its all about building up a contact database and this takes a long time and a lot of patience and to a certain extent quite a lot of time checking out all the sites and replies. I needed to know if something radically different had caused the reason for the disappearing ones and thankfully many people have helped to answer my query and put my mind at rest. Being a practical person I have a need to know when there is a change to the status quo. I suppose its because I'm a bit of a worrier :) .
If things start to dry up then I do change my ads from time to time and keep a copy of them all in MS Word and sometimes place them back on if things slow down and I do update them at least once a day sometimes more than that. About 3 weeks ago I was chatting to a TV who said he had never had a reply to his ad which he had placed at Christmas time and when I asked him how often he updated it he looked rather blank. I explained how to update the ad and changed a few things and he put another on in another category and he started to update it daily. Guess what? he has started getting replies now so, worth a thought.
Personally I have great faith in the ads section and it has reaped dividends for me. This combined with the socials and munches along with the forums all makes a definite difference. Placing an ad and leaving it will result in it being lost into the depths of page 100 in very short time. We have to work at life don't we? So its no different here. No one comes knocking at our door with offers of intimacy unless we invite them.
Jude.
Thanks for the advice :)
Seems to me the message is must try harder, which is true. Hvent updated the ad for some time so I will do it tommorow and maybe put out a few more as well.
Thanks again
Mr Tweeky

5 Mar 2006

UPDATED ... Now I get it. Following Judys advice I realised that update ad option was still available, thought that went out the window when the site changed hands. You live and learn.
Thanks again.
Mr Tweeky

5 Mar 2006

UPDATED ... Now I get it. Following Judys advice I realised that update ad option was still available, thought that went out the window when the site changed hands. You live and learn.
Thanks again.
Mr Tweeky

7 Mar 2006

The problem we have found is that very, very few people have the courtesy to bother replying to an initial PM. I sent out 23 messages, all but two got read and we got a total for three replies (who were all interested but have subsequently disappeared off the face of the earth). 23 rejections I could have handled but why bother having an advert if you don't engage with people who contact you - even to say 'no ta'? Either there are a lot of rude people about or there are a lot who advertise here but are scared off at the first sign of fantasy turning into reality. Or maybe it is just us! rolleyes

7 Mar 2006

Quote by JudyTV
UPDATED ... Now I get it. Following Judys advice I realised that update ad option was still available, thought that went out the window when the site changed hands. You live and learn.
Thanks again.
Mr Tweeky

Your very welcome , now watch the replies come flooding in. wink

:P
The heartbreaking thing is after you update it about 4 hours later its on about page 100000 lol :P , well not quite but you get my point.
Jude
Its working, 2 replies in 2 days dont laugh its an improvement. ONes a one liner but hey who's being picky.
Plans for the next few days, get round to rewording ads, who knows may get 3 replys in 2 days smile

Mr Tweeky

8 Mar 2006

Maybe all the people who don't reply have been kidnapped by aliens ?
They could be using this site to set up meeting with people and then spirit them away to the planet 'zog' where they conduct fiendish sexual experiments on them ?
I'm just writing another ad now !

11 Mar 2006

Quote by JudyTV
A lot of you said you get lots of replys on the photo ads section. To be honest we get very few, is there an obvious reason why? if so please do let me know. Wont be offended so dont worry about that
Mr Tweeky

Not sure if this helps but In an attempt to answer the question above, I have more than one ad ( all different categories) and in the past I have had as many as six ads running at once on SH (I know sad isn't it rolleyes

) plus three or four on other sites such as TV or fetish sites plus other trans sites, well, I need all the help I can get. I think that is why I get a fair few replies because I have had replies here on SH from people saying they have seen my ad on a Tranny site and have decided to reply here.
I have used different types of contact sites for many years and have met friends I still see many years later. Its all about building up a contact database and this takes a long time and a lot of patience and to a certain extent quite a lot of time checking out all the sites and replies. I needed to know if something radically different had caused the reason for the disappearing ones and thankfully many people have helped to answer my query and put my mind at rest. Being a practical person I have a need to know when there is a change to the status quo. I suppose its because I'm a bit of a worrier :) .
If things start to dry up then I do change my ads from time to time and keep a copy of them all in MS Word and sometimes place them back on if things slow down and I do update them at least once a day sometimes more than that. About 3 weeks ago I was chatting to a TV who said he had never had a reply to his ad which he had placed at Christmas time and when I asked him how often he updated it he looked rather blank. I explained how to update the ad and changed a few things and he put another on in another category and he started to update it daily. Guess what? he has started getting replies now so, worth a thought.
Personally I have great faith in the ads section and it has reaped dividends for me. This combined with the socials and munches along with the forums all makes a definite difference. Placing an ad and leaving it will result in it being lost into the depths of page 100 in very short time. We have to work at life don't we? So its no different here. No one comes knocking at our door with offers of intimacy unless we invite them.
Jude.
Judy, can I just say... worship

We've really only gotten into this scene and were feeling not a little underwhelmed by it all. We tried on another site and got several initial responses, only to hear nothing further, all went quiet. Very disheartening. Thought we'd give SH a try out. Early days yet, but I like the forums and your words of wisdom are very encouraging! Just go to be confident and work at it. You are a ... sorry, can't find an emoticon for an oracle...or a star!
Anyway, about your original topic, I think its just a blip. Can't see it being any major trend or cosmic occurrence. A combination of some bottling it ( having just got into this I understand that a lot, very daunting crossing over that threshold ) and a few timewasters have just made it seem more than it is. Anyway, as long as you are getting the responses you want....its the others loss.
Cheers.
Kitty