Phone sex a fems wassat about then?

22 Jan 2008

I tried once a long time ago, say 93 years or so, to do phone sex with J, the Mrs. Well i was so crap at it she told me to forget it she'd read a Jackie Collins instead. (dunno if that was the author but ya get me drift.
I then tried it a few months ago while she was at work. I asked the office secretary if I could speak to J on the pretext of something important like mother in law was pregnant at 55 and that she was going to have a sister 33 years younger than her. Just to get them talking in the office as you do. biggrin

J got to the phone and I said just a few really quite course words like " I'd like ta flip ya over and f*ck you silly in the carpark outside right now you horney f*cker " type thing. Literally just a couple of lines like that. No flowers no promises of enduring love and sweet talk just a sort of " bend over woman, take cock" phrase or two.
Well, boy did she go sort of ape in a quietly hushed manner. Whispering down the phone that i was a stupid twat etc etc. (it's an opinion not unknown for a person to hold lol

) the office there is small and busy.
Well I waited in trepidation for the inevitable epic bollocking i was to get on her arrival from work later that day.
She got home horney as hell gave the kids a £10'er told them to go get something for tea in town and did really naughty stuff to me.
One minute she's up for it horny and wanting to give it a go. Failed miserably. Next minute, mad as hell that i tried while she was busy at work. Comes home balls me brains out ??? Women are not easy to figure.
Its a flip of a coin as to what she thinks about me tellin ya this. :D :lol: well for an hour wink

22 Jan 2008

Never, ever, ever, ever try to understand a woman ....... coz quite honestly ........ we don't understand ourselves... most of the time! :giggle:
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

22 Jan 2008

LOL, did you ask if she had the phone on speaker phone???

22 Jan 2008

To understand women, you first need to understand quantum physics :small-print: , then go on to chaos theory :small-print: ........
It still won't help you one little bit, but it'll give you something to think about when she says there's "nothing" wrong. rolleyes

22 Jan 2008

I'm not really into phone sex to be honest, I kind of get embarassed. I used to date a guy years ago who lived away, he always wanted phone sex and I used to watch the TV and just tell him what he wanted to hear to relieve himself.. isn't that awful? I just couldn't get into it! confused

On the other hand, I'm more than fine with horny texting! wink

22 Jan 2008

Waits patiently for Mars number rolleyes

:lol:

22 Jan 2008

Quote by woohoo
Waits patiently for Mars number :lol:

:grin:

22 Jan 2008

Quote by jaymar
On the other hand, I'm more than fine with horny texting!

Ohhhhh yes, I love that too! :twisted:

(as long as it's not in text-speak)

22 Jan 2008

I quite like phone sex as long as the lady concerned is 'in the mood' as well. The person who is 'getting off' needs to be in a situation where they can relax with what is being suggested over the phone and go with the flow. If you have other distractions (like the TV!) or can't get into saying the right things at the right time, then it may not work. You need to use your imagination and accept this may be a fantasy, rather than what you may actually do, but it can be great if you want it to be!! :twisted:
I've enjoyed phone sex from both sides, when the lady has been the instigator and also when I've been the 'storyteller' too!!
any requests for phone number gladly accepted!! :rascal:
Mal
wink

22 Jan 2008

i get embarrassed to with dek stll working away at times late night phone calls become compulsary wink

i prefer the horny texting milarky though cos then i dont have to speak he prefers phoning though as he likes t hear my voice redface

22 Jan 2008

I could never do the talking thing for phone sex. I just can't say the right words in any order without laughing or feeling like I'm making a fool out of myself rolleyes

22 Jan 2008

I've had phone sex with someone special on was highly erotic and it blew my mind,and would be happy to repeat it. passionkiss

23 Jan 2008

ops: :oops:
I can't do phone sex, I just burst into laughter, as some poor guy found out a little while ago :oops:
:giggle:
Although texting I like and I did have a good session in a private chatroom on here, no cams, just talking really, really dirty.
:shock: Did I just say that :oops:
:giggle:
Louise xx

26 Jan 2008

I did try it once
It just wouldnt fit! rolleyes

:P

26 Jan 2008

Quote by Mal
I quite like phone sex as long as the lady concerned is 'in the mood' as well. The person who is 'getting off' needs to be in a situation where they can relax with what is being suggested over the phone and go with the flow.
I've enjoyed phone sex from both sides, when the lady has been the instigator and also when I've been the 'storyteller' too!!

:thumbup:
Totally agree. It can be fabulous if both are in the right mood. But I really have to know the person well and be comfortable with their likes/dislikes for it to be really good - otherwise it can just feel a bit daft!
There is someone on here who has actually given me the most amaaaazing orgasms when I've been on the phone to him!! :smug: But do think is cos we know each other well enough to know exactly what to say to turn each other on... the fact that it is phone sex is just an added bit of fun!
But I'm not telling who - selfish, but who cares!! :giggle:
Nola x

27 Jan 2008

I like phone sex - in the right circs - but my hearing isn't too good at low levels. So when the co-phone-sexee gets into 'husky and breathy' mode, I end up endlessly repeating, "what?", "speak up" etc etc. In the end I give up.