We are new to the scene and have found that some people who contact us are not willing to chat and show webcam on first contact. Instead they want a fem/fem phone call. We can understand that they want to ensure the female is interested, however the fact that she is prepared to chat and show herself on cam should prove she is!
The other reason for using a webcam is obvious! To see if we find each other attractive! When finding a partner wasn't physical attraction the first step? There is no way we could play with anyone we didn't find attractive. So simply from seeing each other right at the start, we know whether or not we want to go any further. After that it’s down to personalities. We don't trust pictures! We do trust the cam. I should stress we are not doggers! Who don't seem to be bothered who they have sex with. We are looking for first of all good friends with a matching lifestyle, for long term friendship and trust.
Some people contact us who have no profile, no pics and no cam, saying they have a hotel booked next week, like to meet! Well no we don't. We need to know who we are meeting first and build up trust. Are we asking too much? Well if it is then we just won't meet anyone. We have standards and we are sticking to them.
welcome to the site...
a couple of things you may find...
1) i think you'll find that if you are holding what I think you are holding.. then the avatar is against the aup...and you will need to change it (comes under the bit about genital shots in piccys)
2) I think you will find that doggers DO actually care about who they play with.... gross assumptions like that aren't going to help your cause...
some people find that fem/fem chats are the easiest way of comfirm identity....
where you don't trust pictures.. some people won't do anything without a phone call..they have there rules.. you have yours... so if neither of you budge then move on.. simple as that!!!!
if you are looking for good friends then the forum is a community and i would welcome you to it... but a first post whinge is never going to go down well.......the forums and the photo ads tend to be two different creatures.....
Well if we had entered this in "Lets meet" then yes we would agree with you. However we didn't and this is the best place to chat about it, or are you against any constructive chat about such matters?
CplDaveAnn
What ever YOU are comfortable with is what you should do...
- not what other people do
- not how other people say it should work
- not trying to use someone elses values (especially as you don't even know if they are successful in getting laid or not.
Do what suits you and what makes you comfortable with what you are doing.
Good Luck
besides , not every one is photogenic, it took me (mr ninja) , ages to get some decent pics of me, but in person i look loads better, mrs ninja on the other hand is quite photogenic and in person shes one of those peeps who always bring a smile to your face
I, personaly, am one of those that wants a fem/fem phone call first - and I would never agree to cam first. For a start I don't feel you can have a "real" conversatin on cam - but chatting on the phone can tell you a lot wihtout it ever being said. I can work out in a phone call if I am likely to click with someone much more than I would on cam. And as for being attractive - well no matter how hard I try I NEVER look attractive on cam!!
I agree with what the others say. You have your "rules" and others have theirs. Maybe a bit of compromise coud go a long way. For example - if I was having a phone chat that I felt was going well, then at the same time as having that chat I may agree to start chatting via cam. But if you really won't go with the phone call frist, well then, you'd probably be sent a "thanks a tonne, but no thanks" email. And vice versa would obviously be just as acceptable.
aRSexx :color:
Hi CplDaveAnne, as you are OBVIOUSLY very new to this and have not got a clue what dogging is about, I thought rather than you make very naive and incorrect judgemental remarks about dogging, I would give you an explanation of what it is actually about. The following paragraph comes from the dogging section which is posted on this site.
Dogging is a predominantly British activity that involves outdoor exhibitionism in car-parks, wooded areas and the like. The term dogging originated in the early Seventies to describe men who spied on couples having sex outdoors. These men would 'dog' the couples' every move in an effort to watch them. When the swinging scene discovered that open-air sex has its own special thrill they began meeting in car-parks, and the doggers found a new and rich supply of voyeuristic fun. Moreover, the doggers soon realised that these couples were actively encouraging them to watch, even performing for them, and sometimes allowing them to join in.
As you will see, it clearly states that dogging is about watching AND SOMETIMES ALLOWING PEOPLE TO JOIN IN.
You may also find that the comments you have made in your post will totally piss off a lot of members as it makes you look very silly presuming that all people who go dogging have no respect for themselves and will sleep with anyone. I know that quite a few people, myself included, find that camming is very distastefull but I do not judge you or anyone else who finds it appealing. I am mature enough to realise that it takes all sorts to make this world go round and to judge someone just because they do something I dont like, is totally wrong.
As for whether people should cam or phone first, as the others have said that is your own personal choice and only you can decide what works for you. For me, I would rather know that person was sensible, mature, friendly and non-judgemental rather than how attractive they were.
Thank you, you said it! Like we said, we are not doggers! And the reason MOST men go looking for doggers is to join in! What red blooded male wouldn't! We are looking for long term friendship with the right couple. We will only meet them when we are fully satisfied they match what we are looking for. That means building up trust over time getting to know each other. Something doggers who let others join in probably don't do. They may know what car they have and its registration or the size of the guys cock!
We are different animals and doggers can do as they wish, they simply aren't what we are looking for.
On the Phone Vs Cam point
When we say Webcamming, we do mean dressed! We have a mic as well and use both. Therefore we can have a conference, . Where all can hear and speak at the same time.
Also we do not wish to give out our phone number to people we don’t know. One of the
good things about the internet is the ability to communicate without giving away personal info such as phone numbers. If we do not wish to chat again with someone then we simple delete them. Give out our phone number and we may end up with nuisance calls and that’s not so simple to cure.
As you can probably tell we are very particular about the people we socialize with. There are probably very few couples out there that match our requirements. We know they will be hard to find, but until we find them, we will just keep looking. So all you doggers enjoy yourselves, just don't bother contacting us.
behave you lot! i'm sure the doggers shag anyone thing was just a badly phrased sweeping generalisation, and we've all done them, ain't we? ;)
the thing about camming is, i think, that all too often there's a bit of fakery involved by those who just want to entice people onto cam, be they couple, fem or ((( coughs ))) single male! ;) so . . . you might find a little bit of reticence requesting a cam thing early on.
also, lots of us don't cam in any way shape or form, so you might well be limiting yourselves to those who like that kinda thing, and unfairly dismissing people who might well be right up your street, so to speak. a fem to fem chat seems to be regarded in a bit more of a positive light, for odd reasons.
neil x x x ;)