Been a-pondering this a while now and thought I'd ask you peeps for your thoughts and experiences.
We have a couple we play with regularly, in fact it's been quite intense since we met them in November we've played quite a few times and they are very heavy on the texts too (mainly him). They are great and we are very well matched and we love playing with them. We have cooled it down, telling them we can't keep up the pace of the start of our very horny relationship (it was instant lust for all four of us)and they have totally accepted this, although have difficulty reigning themselves back.
However, we think they are a little possessive of us. They have clearly stated they are not looking for anyone else (they haven't checked this site for weeks now) and often make references to wanting us all to themselves.
Not although this is very flattering, we started swinging for variety and experiencing other people and different situations...we don't want to be limited to one couple. Now this isn't a major problem for us, we will never be ruled by others, we are confident in what we want....however questions i'd like to ask are these:
Do you think we should tell them we have played with/plan to play with others or is it frankly none of their business?
I'm unsure, cos I feel we should be honest but then I think it's our sex life do we even have to tell them what we do?
We know what we feel, but would like to hear your views (and experiences) please.
pink x
Ok my personal opinion. It might be prudent to let them know just because they're not looking for anyone else it doesn't mean that you want to be exclusive to them. Let them know that you're looking for a variety of fun and not just a 4-some. After that, what you do or don't do, and who you do or don't play with is nothing to do with them to be honest.
you don't have to explain yourselves to them,if you want to play with other couples...it really is none of their be honest their remarks of wanting you to themselves....sounds quite scary...it could end in tears or something worse,if you don't cool things down.
Thanks Celestria, Jaymar and Mr P, I am thinking that we tell them straight we have been and plan to play with others as surely this will be the best option thereby giving them no illusions that we are just playing with them (which would only fuel the possessiveness angle).
It's quite hard, cause I'm not a bitch and do care about people's feelings and (they seemingly have very strong ones for us) and up till now I've just hoped it would sort itself out with time.
Hmmm pondering continues...
pink x
Hey Travis
No, they've been swinging for a few years and we are their 4th couple in that time, but they say we've been the ones "they've been waiting for" (their actual words). Feck when I type that that does sound really quite creepy.
pink x
Can I just ask how you know they haven't checked this site for weeks? I know you can look at profiles and see when someone last logged in, but it is possible to view the forum without being logged in to the site. If they've logged in, they'll know exactly how you feel now anyway!
Not going to make any comments about who you should tell, or how much - that's very personal and only you can decide.
You don't have to log into SH to read the forum!
Yes to me. Blue and her do too, but Blue isn't as into texting as me whereas I love texting (and admittedly have more time then him). Everyone is aware, nothing is hidden in case that was your thought process. They are a very solid couple which is part of their appeal to us.
pink x
we have a cpl we play with and they travel quite a way 2 see us, they have stated they no longer look for ne1 else 2 play with but i think they know we do, ive had a few subtle jealous comments (ie. i went out 2 a non-swinging mates bday party and told the lass about it, oh she said ru going 2 see ***** - girl i have slept with in past. she completly assumed that and i have many friends), i have some instants like that and we love meeting them but since not clear comments have been made we keep on going, if ne suggestion was made of mr kk and myself being exclusive to them and they wud be kindly explained to no.
i wish i cud persuade them to come with us the local club..im sure they'd love it
hope this helps in the feeling ur not alone
Taking a different angle on this it's quite possible the couple are very happy with B&P & have no desire to go through the rigmarole of getting-to-know-you meets with anyone else!
They could have first swing jitters that were put to the back of their minds by B&P who knows?
But instead of just telling them face to face what to think of their wish to be exclusive to you (did they ask you to be exclusive to them?) why don't you 'suggest' that your looking fwd to meeting or swinging with a new couple!
It's your choice!
Maybe you could reinforce this 'suggestion' by stating you will not be available for dates they wish to see you for that reason?
Wean them off slowly & gauge the reaction.
If you feel you're unable to buy some bunny rabbits in the near future then you will have a damn good idea what type of peeps your dealing with.
Don't take an aggressive stance just yet.
But by the same token do not let anyone dictate to you what they feel is important to them without showing any respect to yourselves & your freedom of choice!!!
Best of luck :thumbup:
One saying was pm'd to me when I first joined by a member on this site...
'Discretion is the better part of valour'
as mentioned before forums can be read without logging on...
We have been in a very very similar situation, point out your 'swingers' not 'wife swappers'
Didn't work for us either and yes we had to cool it right off by not seeing them at all.... Shame as they really were nice but were not about to become anyones property. Made us very nervous so understand how you feel.. scared to chat about anyone else where you have been etc etc, not the fun we set out to enjoy so we ended up saying goodbye in the nicest possible way!
Good luck with them, be as honest as you can without upset but at the end of the day if they don't understand then they are not the right couple anyway!!
Mike xx
even if your not that will gently bring them round to the idea that you are not exclusive without upsetting them.
