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Preference vs Discrimination

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Quote by Theladyisaminx
Lucy and ahabs I would like to say great points raised on both sides, these makes for a good read. Just how a debate should be conducted in my book. lol
I would like to ask something of Ahabs.
If as you are saying there are rooms as you mentioned.
Are these people not alienating others, that feel as we don't have the same set prefreance
My thoughts are if we met in another room that was open to all, we might just find another common intrest so could strike up a friendship from a different angle?

Minx, Ive read my post back several times now!
What point did I make??
I thought I was just being witty or sarcastic, depending on how my type is interputed, the two often get confused!! :lol:
Quote by Lucyandmike7
Lucy and ahabs I would like to say great points raised on both sides, these makes for a good read. Just how a debate should be conducted in my book. lol
I would like to ask something of Ahabs.
If as you are saying there are rooms as you mentioned.
Are these people not alienating others, that feel as we don't have the same set prefreance
My thoughts are if we met in another room that was open to all, we might just find another common intrest so could strike up a friendship from a different angle?

Minx, Ive read my post back several times now!
What point did I make??
I thought I was just being witty or sarcastic, depending on how my type is interputed, the two often get confused!! :lol:
Why are you asking me? :shock:
I would need to be in your head to know the answer to that question :lol:
I saw it as a well thought out and logical response, But then I am known as 0.5 watts so don't rely on me to be correct redface
Quote by
I like that silk and Big G. I have lived as a minority, all be it for short periods. I have never had a problem, I have never considered myself discriminated against. Yes I have been approached, as an oddity, something different, but that is just normal. We all push our experience, do we not?
Just decided to add, I have never tried to be different. Deferring to local customs, where they do not offend my own. I have had fun and have learned a lot, and not just about sex, just in case anyone was thinking that is what I meant.
may i just say when i first asked to go to asocial i had to be verified by someone else and indeed i on several occassions have had to verify blk guys who wanted to come so where is the problem and it is agood idea to point out to someone what the aim of the social is i only go cause i only play with guys who are blk .P articularly since alot of guys cant read all my ads say only blk but surprise surprise loads of white guys still reply what is this all about ??????
Quote by Ahabs
I could also describe myself as:
* professional

You can't be.
It's in the swingers handbook that any use of the word will be spelt proffessional. biggrin
Quote by Liz_lea
may i just say when i first asked to go to asocial i had to be verified by someone else and indeed i on several occassions have had to verify blk guys who wanted to come so where is the problem and it is agood idea to point out to someone what the aim of the social is i only go cause i only play with guys who are blk .P articularly since alot of guys cant read all my ads say only blk but surprise surprise loads of white guys still reply what is this all about ??????

You can't say that! How racist! You'll be accused of not being open (oer!) to all and hence discriminating! ;)
(I am SO gonna get smacked for that!)
Bu t seriously, my first of those socials I had to be verified also, I couldn't just "waltz in like I owned the place" on the basis of being a black guy.
Quote by essex34m

I could also describe myself as:
* professional

You can't be.
It's in the swingers handbook that any use of the word will be spelt proffessional. biggrin
Alright, scrabble - I challenge that word!
Quote by Ahabs
Lol... I tried, but having looked at several hundreds profiles, I don't seem to find many in the vicnity that want seek "Just yourself, with no added extra"
Lets face it, every swinger on here approaches another swinger for an initial "common interest" reason, as per "G.R.A.D.E.S" or other things (you're into Top Gear too? Fab!), sometimes its even sub-conscious, but there are very few (if any) that have NO preference. I wanna know who those greedy sods are!
Me, I simply start at "Seeks female that plays" and start the eliminating from there. Works so far.

There are quite a few that have nothing written on their profiles.
Now either they really have NO preference or.....maybe lazy buggers?
Your comments above are bang on the money. I do not care if people think we discriminate. We want to meet people who fit into what WE are looking for.
But then again sometimes I do not know why we bother with a profile, as so many just don't bother reading it. They just like looking at the pictures. lol
But in reality we are fussy and because of that we do not attract many meets but......when we do it is invariably excellent. There has to be a " chemistry " and you cannot get that if the person you meet, does not fit into what one calls sexy or shaggable. Even though they may be great people, feel good factor has to be there.
Now where are the slim guys out there for mrs777? wink
Quote by kentswingers777
Lol... I tried, but having looked at several hundreds profiles, I don't seem to find many in the vicnity that want seek "Just yourself, with no added extra"
Lets face it, every swinger on here approaches another swinger for an initial "common interest" reason, as per "G.R.A.D.E.S" or other things (you're into Top Gear too? Fab!), sometimes its even sub-conscious, but there are very few (if any) that have NO preference. I wanna know who those greedy sods are!
Me, I simply start at "Seeks female that plays" and start the eliminating from there. Works so far.

There are quite a few that have nothing written on their profiles.
Now either they really have NO preference or.....maybe lazy buggers?

Your comments above are bang on the money. I do not care if people think we discriminate. We want to meet people who fit into what WE are looking for.
But then again sometimes I do not know why we bother with a profile, as so many just don't bother reading it. They just like looking at the pictures. lol
But in reality we are fussy and because of that we do not attract many meets but......when we do it is invariably excellent. There has to be a " chemistry " and you cannot get that if the person you meet, does not fit into what one calls sexy or shaggable. Even though they may be great people, feel good factor has to be there.
Now where are the slim guys out there for mrs777? wink
Thats not the first time you have refered to people like me as being lazy buggers....
I'm not.......I do have preferences as well....
I can write anything down on a profile......Anything at all......Means jack shit really.....
I do my research at socials and make my choices by talking to people in chat,at socials/munches and on the forum....
Never been let down yet ;-)
Quote by kentswingers777
but there are very few (if any) that have NO preference.

There are quite a few that have nothing written on their profiles.
Now either they really have NO preference or.....maybe lazy buggers?

Making an assumption like that is like someone saying those that completely fill in their profile are desperate.
What reasoning did I use to get there? None, just a stab in the dark...........like the one above.
Perhaps people do not fill out the preference section because it is too narrow to say what their preferences are. Take the anal icon, for example. What does that mean?
1) The woman likes taking anal?
2) The man likes taking anal?
3) The woman likes giving anal?
4) The man likes giving anal?
5) etc, etc, etc
So perhaps not lazy but people who would not just put anything up just to make it look like they know what they want.
Dave_Notts
Quote by Steve
Thats not the first time you have refered to people like me as being lazy buggers....
I'm not.......I do have preferences as well....
I can write anything down on a profile......Anything at all......Means jack shit really.....
I do my research at socials and make my choices by talking to people in chat,at socials/munches and on the forum....
Never been let down yet ;-)

I had to check. Where's the photos of you two gone? I used to perv over them :cry:
Dave_Notts
Quote by Steve
Lol... I tried, but having looked at several hundreds profiles, I don't seem to find many in the vicnity that want seek "Just yourself, with no added extra"
Lets face it, every swinger on here approaches another swinger for an initial "common interest" reason, as per "G.R.A.D.E.S" or other things (you're into Top Gear too? Fab!), sometimes its even sub-conscious, but there are very few (if any) that have NO preference. I wanna know who those greedy sods are!
Me, I simply start at "Seeks female that plays" and start the eliminating from there. Works so far.

There are quite a few that have nothing written on their profiles.
Now either they really have NO preference or.....maybe lazy buggers?

Your comments above are bang on the money. I do not care if people think we discriminate. We want to meet people who fit into what WE are looking for.
But then again sometimes I do not know why we bother with a profile, as so many just don't bother reading it. They just like looking at the pictures. lol
But in reality we are fussy and because of that we do not attract many meets but......when we do it is invariably excellent. There has to be a " chemistry " and you cannot get that if the person you meet, does not fit into what one calls sexy or shaggable. Even though they may be great people, feel good factor has to be there.
Now where are the slim guys out there for mrs777? wink
Thats not the first time you have refered to people like me as being lazy buggers....
I'm not.......I do have preferences as well....
I can write anything down on a profile......Anything at all......Means jack shit really.....
I do my research at socials and make my choices by talking to people in chat,at socials/munches and on the forum....
Never been let down yet ;-)
Sorry Steve, maybe I should clarify.
I was really talking about peoples stats. Some profiles have nothing filled out nor do a lot of people have anything written on their stats.
Now IF these people are looking for meets, how the heck do they get people to contact them or meet them, with nothing written down?
I suppose I am expecting way too much for others to be as honest as us, with pictures or profile or stats. Some peoples home page is completly blank. How does that work on a swingers site?
Quote by kentswingers777
I suppose I am expecting way too much for others to be as honest as us, with pictures or profile or stats. Some peoples home page is completly blank. How does that work on a swingers site?

But surely people use the site for different things?
There are some who are here to just natter on the forum, some are here to use the chatrooms, some are here to perv the cams, some to look at pics, some are taking a break, some have got into relationships and are exploring that for a while, there is a multitude of reasons why people are on this site, it doesn't necessarily follow that they are actively seeking at the point on which someone looks at their profile.
Or they could just be lazy buggers biggrin
Quote by kentswingers777
Lol... I tried, but having looked at several hundreds profiles, I don't seem to find many in the vicnity that want seek "Just yourself, with no added extra"
Lets face it, every swinger on here approaches another swinger for an initial "common interest" reason, as per "G.R.A.D.E.S" or other things (you're into Top Gear too? Fab!), sometimes its even sub-conscious, but there are very few (if any) that have NO preference. I wanna know who those greedy sods are!
Me, I simply start at "Seeks female that plays" and start the eliminating from there. Works so far.

There are quite a few that have nothing written on their profiles.
Now either they really have NO preference or.....maybe lazy buggers?

Your comments above are bang on the money. I do not care if people think we discriminate. We want to meet people who fit into what WE are looking for.
But then again sometimes I do not know why we bother with a profile, as so many just don't bother reading it. They just like looking at the pictures. lol
But in reality we are fussy and because of that we do not attract many meets but......when we do it is invariably excellent. There has to be a " chemistry " and you cannot get that if the person you meet, does not fit into what one calls sexy or shaggable. Even though they may be great people, feel good factor has to be there.
Now where are the slim guys out there for mrs777? wink
Thats not the first time you have refered to people like me as being lazy buggers....
I'm not.......I do have preferences as well....
I can write anything down on a profile......Anything at all......Means jack shit really.....
I do my research at socials and make my choices by talking to people in chat,at socials/munches and on the forum....
Never been let down yet ;-)
Sorry Steve, maybe I should clarify.
I was really talking about peoples stats. Some profiles have nothing filled out nor do a lot of people have anything written on their stats.
Now IF these people are looking for meets, how the heck do they get people to contact them or meet them, with nothing written down?
I suppose I am expecting way too much for others to be as honest as us, with pictures or profile or stats. Some peoples home page is completly blank. How does that work on a swingers site?
If there were not pictures, or written profile stats or advert I would use that as a tool to think possibly not be somebody that meets. Hence verifying them in my mind as someone that has not spent the time and a little bit of effort to meet
I think there should at least be something there to indicate something even if just a well written profile
Quote by essex34m

I suppose I am expecting way too much for others to be as honest as us, with pictures or profile or stats. Some peoples home page is completly blank. How does that work on a swingers site?

But surely people use the site for different things?
There are some who are here to just natter on the forum, some are here to use the chatrooms, some are here to perv the cams, some to look at pics, some are taking a break, some have got into relationships and are exploring that for a while, there is a multitude of reasons why people are on this site, it doesn't necessarily follow that they are actively seeking at the point on which someone looks at their profile.
Or they could just be lazy buggers biggrin
Lets do an experiment.
Get one couple to completely fill in the profile, produce three adverts that explain in detail what they would like, post a handful of videos and have 20 photos including face pictures and full body nude shots.
Then get the same couple to only put "Contact me by PM and we screw anybody". Then go onto server one and start a room called "Live shagging at 9pm until 10pm".
After 24 hrs lets see which one gets most answers to their adverts or PMs.
I would hazard a guess that the second couple would have the most. So are they being lazy or just know what some people are like.
Dave_Notts
All true Ahab mate. I dont condemn you for using whatever technique you wish to 'get your foot in the door' :-) thats your perogative and if thats the way you see your adventures panning out then sure.
Of course most of the other 'attributes' you use for your argument bear no relationship to being part of a race. The closest I suppose is being bisexual or lesbian as that can engender descrimination, but not quite the same as both of those relate very strongly to the definition of a persons sexuality - I would say that being of a race or colour does not do that.
Of course the main reason even those examples are less than relevant is that if you define yourself by sexuality in an exchange about sexual adventure that gives implicit permission for people to make generalised assumptions about the individual .
Making such generalisations or assumptions about someone on the basis of their race, or the colour of their skin would,I imagine,largely be frowned upon or seen as negative stereotyping ..............at least thats how I would see it, always assuming that if we argue as decent human beings on the basis of human dignity we agree that its always wrong to pick and choose when being defined by a stereotype suits us.
Quote by Dave__Notts

I suppose I am expecting way too much for others to be as honest as us, with pictures or profile or stats. Some peoples home page is completly blank. How does that work on a swingers site?

But surely people use the site for different things?
There are some who are here to just natter on the forum, some are here to use the chatrooms, some are here to perv the cams, some to look at pics, some are taking a break, some have got into relationships and are exploring that for a while, there is a multitude of reasons why people are on this site, it doesn't necessarily follow that they are actively seeking at the point on which someone looks at their profile.
Or they could just be lazy buggers biggrin
Lets do an experiment.
Get one couple to completely fill in the profile, produce three adverts that explain in detail what they would like, post a handful of videos and have 20 photos including face pictures and full body nude shots.
Then get the same couple to only put "Contact me by PM and we screw anybody". Then go onto server one and start a room called "Live shagging at 9pm until 10pm".
After 24 hrs lets see which one gets most answers to their adverts or PMs.
I would hazard a guess that the second couple would have the most. So are they being lazy or just know what some people are like.
Dave_Notts
Answering them is one thing, meeting up is something completly different. Most replies would be from dreamers....where is that verfification thread again? lol
hi ahabs see u topic is still making headlines babe xxx
Quote by Dave__Notts
Thats not the first time you have refered to people like me as being lazy buggers....
I'm not.......I do have preferences as well....
I can write anything down on a profile......Anything at all......Means jack shit really.....
I do my research at socials and make my choices by talking to people in chat,at socials/munches and on the forum....
Never been let down yet ;-)

I had to check. Where's the photos of you two gone? I used to perv over them :cry:
Dave_Notts
They have been gone a long time fella :-)
Quote by kentswingers777
Sorry Steve, maybe I should clarify.
I was really talking about peoples stats. Some profiles have nothing filled out nor do a lot of people have anything written on their stats.
Now IF these people are looking for meets, how the heck do they get people to contact them or meet them, with nothing written down?
I suppose I am expecting way too much for others to be as honest as us, with pictures or profile or stats. Some peoples home page is completly blank. How does that work on a swingers site?

I see your meaning yes :-) but to be fair what is written down is only as good as the person that writes it....
I prefer to actually meet someone before ever deciding on if there should be any sexual contact between us.....
It gives me a much better picture.......May not work for everyone but it does for me....
Quote by Silk and Big G
All true Ahab mate. I dont condemn you for using whatever technique you wish to 'get your foot in the door' :-) thats your perogative and if thats the way you see your adventures panning out then sure.
Of course most of the other 'attributes' you use for your argument bear no relationship to being part of a race. The closest I suppose is being bisexual or lesbian as that can engender descrimination, but not quite the same as both of those relate very strongly to the definition of a persons sexuality - I would say that being of a race or colour does not do that.
Of course the main reason even those examples are less than relevant is that if you define yourself by sexuality in an exchange about sexual adventure that gives implicit permission for people to make generalised assumptions about the individual .
Making such generalisations or assumptions about someone on the basis of their race, or the colour of their skin would,I imagine,largely be frowned upon or seen as negative stereotyping ..............at least thats how I would see it, always assuming that if we argue as decent human beings on the basis of human dignity we agree that its always wrong to pick and choose when being defined by a stereotype suits us.

now then, I don't want to get overly involved in debates of racial steriotyping or racist opinion but:
Im thinking more along the lines that the original reason for this rather wonderfull debate was a social being set up for the meeting of groups of people whom find each other mutually attractive, with an eye to future sexual activity.
The 'attraction' part being:
white people who find black people sexually attractive
&
Black people who find white people sexually attractive.
Skin colour is obviously a major factor in the initial choices to be made.
However, that is skin colour. A physical attribute.
No-one has mentioned any steriotypical attributes along with those physical attributes.
I didnt get the impression that anyone was generalising/steriotyping about anyone else on the basis of thier skin colour. merely making a choice of potential playmate on a physical element that they find particularly attractive.
In the same way one might wish for:
short
tall
blonde
brunette
double jointed
etc.
Steriotyping comes after skin colour.
lp
most people have preferences whether it be black..white...fat ..thin...tall...short...older...younger....females..males...couples..married... single...what worries me is and i steer clear of are people that say age race size unimportant..its like shag anything regardless whether they get on with the person they meet
damn!stole my line
lp
Well well well, i have been reading most of the posts on here. Now for my two penneth worth.
Someone said somewhere on one of the posts, shouldn't it be about whats on the inside not whats on the outside? Well yes thats true, cause i for one whether it be a one off, or a long term need to have a connection mentally as well as sexually. I prefer black guys, but If a black guy is absolutely gorgeous, but has the personality and inteligence of a pea, then i wouldnt go for him just because he is black, but for example, give me two guys, one black guy and one white guy, both with exactly same personalities, sense of humour, intelligence ect and i will go for the black guy and this is because i very very rarely find white guys attractive, but i do find most black guys soooo attractive and very very sexy and yes it is also to do with their skin colour, i love it, its sexy to me, its what turns me on....ITS MY PREFERENCE! And it not as most people think, to do with the size of their dicks, if that was all that mattered to me, i would want any guy with a big dick, be they black, white, green whatever.
I would assume that this would be the same for people that have other preferences, IE. bbw's/slim peeps/tall/short/Blondes or Brunettes ect. So why is it sooooo damn difficult for peeps to accept my preference, just because its to do with colour of a persons skin???? How can i be called racist against my own race?
So yes i go into the rooms for white women for black men, its not cause i dont like white guys as people, its because sexually they don't turn me on!! So peeps, please accept it the same as you would accept anyone else's prefernces, dont take it personally!!
Feisty X
Quote by Silk and Big G
Like i said confused

Indeed!
Quote by Freckledbird
Like i said confused

Indeed!
:thumbup: Indeedy doo doo!
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
oh i say :shock:
would this b a good time to plug our BBW bash now lol
we don't call it a social it is a bash cause we hope to have hips bashing our bottys all night long wink
you don't have to be a BBW just BBW friendly is all we ask we are definatly all inclusive
shameless self plugging :giggle:
link is there vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Quote by bouncy332
oh i say :shock:
would this b a good time to plug our BBW bash now lol
we don't call it a social it is a bash cause we hope to have hips bashing our bottys all night long wink
you don't have to be a BBW just BBW friendly is all we ask we are definatly all inclusive
shameless self plugging :giggle:
link is there vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Oh Bouncy hunny, you are adorable aren't ya xxxx