Problem Neighbours - any advice welcome!

8 Feb 2005

Alex, did you take a look at that "Neighbours from hell" website that someone gave you the link to? It seems full of good advice. Have you asked for an appointment with the council's harassment officer? Have you approached a citizens' advice bureau? Have you asked anyone to go along with you for support when you have approached the police and the council? Do you ask to see their written reports after you have been to the council for interviews?
It's difficult I know, and keeping a log yourself is a good idea, but it's hard for me (and I'm certain for others here) to sit here and read that the council don't do anything for you. WHY NOT? You must be at your wits' end, which is why you need help from someone.
kiss

Mike.

8 Feb 2005

Quote by yorkypuddn
I reckon _mat_ had it right.
I used to have a problem neighbour....he kept beating his wife up and making her and the baby cry.......I fought my knightly urges for about a week but one particularly bad night I blew my stack....called a mate for backup and we both went into the house and leathered him.....We told him we'd do this every time we heard them argue, and guess what?
yep
I got done for A.B.H off the law....sigh
Still..He moved out shortly after and she still lives happily next door.
Point is has she shown her gratitude to you and your friend...only joking. I'n all seriousness Alex If you are going for an exchange and your honest about your reasons for exchanging you will be shooting yourself in the foot, sadly I think you will have to keep quite about it. Also about the complaining if it is falling on deaf ears which I get the impression it is you can start feeling like your the problem so I really do sympathise with you.
You could always put your washing machine, hoover and hi-fi on about 3 hours after they have gone to bed then see if they want to negotiate a truce.
Happy ending?

10 Feb 2005

HI
Read alot of the replies and they are all saying "LOCAL AUTHORITY" "ASBO" is all a load of Bullshit, Chavs know the system and how to get around it, it was invented with them in mind and an "ASBO" means nothing to them chances are they cant read the paperwork its on anyway, breaking one and doing a bit of Bird is a right of passage.
Your neighbours are chavs its simple and respond to one thing only a good goddamn kicking, simple as that.
I was brought up on a huge estate and had the same problem with our neighbours, and although myself Dad and two brothers always worked and never interferred with anyone we had untold grief that is, until we got hold of a few of them and whacked the shit out of them, and their Dad's too when they butted in. Its a sorry state of affairs and I am not violent but thats the only answer I can give you its all they understand.
Someone you know will know someone who specialises in sorting things like this out, find that person and make it so, god knows if I was nearer I wouldn't mind a go at it myself, thankfully I have left estate life forever. I will be lambasted for this but the Authority route is a total waste of your time and breath, your energy is better spent on your studying to get you the hell out of there.
I hate Chav bastards they are a blight on society and its a shame to say its the way this country is going.
M

10 Feb 2005

There's been some very good advice here. Its no suprise that these kids are growing up with no respect for others, especially if their parents have those attitudes.
This is one situiation where i'd be willing to break the dangerous dogs act.

10 Feb 2005

Considering the police were called upon her for being overheard saying `wanker`, I think Alex_female would have to be very, very careful before she became involved in anything illegal to fix the problem.
Plus an exchange of violence is NOT a good thing to become involved in when you have children to consider.
Venusxxx

10 Feb 2005

I know. I had problems with gangs where I used to live before and have been seriously beaten up often enough.
If only the father of that family had done what that Welsh guy did, Alex's problems wouldn't have existed.
This is another case of the police going for the victim.

11 Feb 2005

your local council has to act
just had a case here where parents did not controll there kids and they were subsiquently evicted and prosicuted
i would go down to the local council offices and ask to see someone about this
i do hope you get this sorted

11 Feb 2005

Quote by james02
I find a shot gun or a rifle is the best deterant

i agree with him but make sure it is loaded.

11 Feb 2005

Quote by bikerdave
I find a shot gun or a rifle is the best deterant

i agree with him but make sure it is loaded.
I find using words containing more than one syllable can work wonders when dealing with neighbours who can`t think beyond the Neanderthal mentality of `if it doesn`t agree with me the hit it, then I will have respect`. It worries them.
Fear and respect are not the same things. It saddens and angers me when I see people who think it is. They are deluded.
Venusxxx

11 Feb 2005

It is all very well condeming people for thinking and using physical violence, but we do unfortunately live in the real world. Violence is of course deplorable, but when dealing with people of a certain mentality, it may be the only course open, though one would hope the shotgun would not be necessary.
These situations are very volatile as it sounds are the perpatrators of the nusience. Are people suggesting that Alex does nothing and waits untill her or one of hers are physically attacked, remeber the other side are likely to see her as an easy target as she is a lone female.
In my opinion , violence perpetuates more violence, so in a situation that is heading that way it is best to get the boot in first, especially if you have the smaller feet!! It is a difficult situation to be in and very difficult to understand unless you have actually been there!!
Just editing my post to suggest an alternative way. Maybe it would be enough for the "right" type of person to be seen around Alexs home, without them actually needing to do anything more than be there and give the neigibours, "the look"?
Pehaps a gang of leather clad,well built bikers?? Hagrid, where are you ?

11 Feb 2005

Quote by Alex_Female
I have lived in my current house for over 4 years now and since the day I moved in, I have received nothing but verbal abuse, vandalism and hassle, all because I don't fit in with my next door neighbours.
I live in a semi-detached house and we share an adjoining wall. The situation flares up when the parents get pissed and let the children join in their drinking habits, which happens more over the lighter nights than in the winter.
On Saturday night I had to phone the police because of one their children were throwing wooden slats at the windows. My children were terrified and nearly in tears. If I had gone out to confront them (which I have done on previous occassions), it would of resulted in a slanging match which would of upset my children further). The police arrived 3pm the next day and warned the neighbours of their behaviour. They of course take no notice, laugh in their faces and the situation doesn't change. When I had gone outside the next day, the wooden slats were in my garden, along with pieces of my fence and they had smashed bottles on my path.
The above incident is like a drop in the ocean in the behaviour that I have had to endure from them. When I have spoke to the parents on previous occassions and asked to resolve the issues and when speaking to them, they can't see a problem in their childrens behaviour. It like the lights are on but nobody is at home.
As a student, I unfortunately can't get a mortgage until my studies are finished, so my options at the moment are limited. I rent my house from my local council and have looked into a house swap, but probably wont happen because who would move into a house that has problem neighbours?
I have started to write down their undesirable behaviour on a log sheet in the hope that the police/council will do something about them.
I believe I am a strong, independent person, but their behaviour has and is having a negative effect on my life.
Any suggestions?

If the council isnt doing anything about this then they are of course breaking laws!!! I saw tony blair on GMTV the other morning and a woman had asked him why she had to put up with yobs terrorising her and the coucil were refusing flat out to do anything about it. In reply to this he said he cant handle every single situatiom but clearly the coucil are in the wrong and something should be done about this so i think you should try something higher than the coucil, Perhaps your local councillor. We were having alot of bother with alcoholic neighbours with kids who were theiving little toerags and extremely loud, viscious dogs. We went to the coucil may many times and they kept fending us off with excuse after excuse. In the end we went to our local councillor(who hapens to be Mr Naughty's mums brother in law) and a month later we had a new neighbour who doesnt make a peep. Hope this helps.

11 Feb 2005

Quote by foxylady 123
It is all very well condeming people for thinking and using physical violence, but we do unfortunately live in the real world. Violence is of course deplorable, but when dealing with people of a certain mentality, it may be the only course open, though one would hope the shotgun would not be necessary.

Unfortunately the real world dictates that the `good guys` don`t always win.

These situations are very volatile as it sounds are the perpatrators of the nusience. Are people suggesting that Alex does nothing and waits untill her or one of hers are physically attacked, remeber the other side are likely to see her as an easy target as she is a lone female.

Unfortunately in the real world there are not always easy answers to give. Suggesting Alex doesn`t take a possible route which could make matters worse, is not the same as supporting that she sit back and do nothing. The latter is not an ideal solution, but the former is not either.

In my opinion , violence perpetuates more violence, so in a situation that is heading that way it is best to get the boot in first, especially if you have the smaller feet!! It is a difficult situation to be in and very difficult to understand unless you have actually been there!!

When violence perpetuates violence, Alex could very well leave herself wide open to a backlash of violence which as a female on her own with children she could quite possibly find herself incapable of coping with, they know this, which is probably one of the reasons they are centering her out. On top of which, if she had any part of being the person who threw the first punch, then not only would she have the possible backlash to cope with, but the backlash of the law also. Dealing with a problem by making it worse and adding another is not going to help. Sometimes this approach IS effective, but in many many cases it opens up a huge can of worms. Too many cases for it to be worth the risk IMO.

Just editing my post to suggest an alternative way. Maybe it would be enough for the "right" type of person to be seen around Alexs home, with out them actually needing to do anything more than be there and give the neigibours, "the look"?
Pehaps a gang of leather clad, bikers?? Hagrid, where are you ?

I think this is a very good and positive idea, they need to know that Alex is not as alone and vunerable as they have supposed (just make sure they are capable of maintaining a distance Alex, for there is nothing worse than an outraged protector diving in and throwing threats around on your behalf, no matter how honorable their intention rolleyes

). I`d also advocate following up on any legal avenues possible. They may not be all that effective (which varies from council to council), but sometimes simply the knowledge that the eye of the law is upon them is enough to make them think twice before using violence. I disagree with the mentality that `all chavs are the same`, we are talking about individuals who *can* be a problem in varying degrees. Their courage in coming up against the law varies from person to person.
Sorry Foxy, I`m in discursive mode! :P
Venusxxx

11 Feb 2005

Quote by VenusnMars
It is all very well condeming people for thinking and using physical violence, but we do unfortunately live in the real world. Violence is of course deplorable, but when dealing with people of a certain mentality, it may be the only course open, though one would hope the shotgun would not be necessary.

Unfortunately the real world dictates that the `good guys` don`t always win.
Exactly my point!!

These situations are very volatile as it sounds are the perpatrators of the nusience. Are people suggesting that Alex does nothing and waits untill her or one of hers are physically attacked, remeber the other side are likely to see her as an easy target as she is a lone female.

Unfortunately in the real world there are not always easy answers to give. Suggesting Alex doesn`t take a possible route which could make matters worse, is not the same as supporting that she sit back and do nothing. The latter is not an ideal solution, but the former is not either.
Agreed, but she should try to keep one step ahead of them

In my opinion , violence perpetuates more violence, so in a situation that is heading that way it is best to get the boot in first, especially if you have the smaller feet!! It is a difficult situation to be in and very difficult to understand unless you have actually been there!!

When violence perpetuates violence, Alex could very well leave herself wide open to a backlash of violence which as a female on her own with children she could quite possibly find herself incapable of coping with, they know this, which is probably one of the reasons they are centering her out. On top of which, if she had any part of being the person who threw the first punch, then not only would she have the possible backlash to cope with, but the backlash of the law also. Dealing with a problem by making it worse and adding another is not going to help. Sometimes this approach IS effective, but in many many cases it opens up a huge can of worms. Too many cases for it to be worth the risk IMO.
I think only Alex can decide if any course of action is worth the rik, we arent there 24 hours a day. I do think she should try to be pro active rather than re active.

Just editing my post to suggest an alternative way. Maybe it would be enough for the "right" type of person to be seen around Alexs home, with out them actually needing to do anything more than be there and give the neigibours, "the look"?
Pehaps a gang of leather clad, bikers?? Hagrid, where are you ?

I think this is a very good and positive idea, they need to know that Alex is not as alone and vunerable as they have supposed (just make sure they are capable of maintaining a distance Alex, for there is nothing worse than an outraged protector diving in and throwing threats around on your behalf, no matter how honorable their intention rolleyes

). I`d also advocate following up on any legal avenues possible. They may not be all that effective (which varies from council to council), but sometimes simply the knowledge that the eye of the law is upon them is enough to make them think twice before using violence. I disagree with the mentality that `all chavs are the same`, we are talking about individuals who *can* be a problem in varying degrees. Their courage in coming up against the law varies from person to person.
In my experience the type of person Alex is dealing with could give a shit about the law!!!
Sorry Foxy, I`m in discursive mode! :P
Venusxxx
You clearly had a better nights sleep than i did
Suzzyxx

11 Feb 2005

Quote by foxylady 123
Exactly my point!!

I know, just pointing out it applies to either approach.

Agreed, but she should try to keep one step ahead of them

Not handing them more rope would be a good start in not becoming `one step behind them`

I think only Alex can decide if any course of action is worth the rik, we arent there 24 hours a day. I do think she should try to be pro active rather than re active.

Of course it has to be Alex` decision, she did put it up for discussion however.
There are a good many pro-active ideas here, many of which do not include violence.

You clearly had a better nights sleep than i did

You are kidding right?! Jas kept me up on the phone til am! rotflmao

Venusxx

11 Feb 2005

The simple fact is that if Alex tried to take matters into her own hands & initiated violence, she & her children could obviously suffer violence in return. And they could also end up homeless. She needs to stay on the right side of the law, but apply as much pressure as possible in the right places (councillor to put pressure on the council, MP, police etc). She also needs to keep detailed records of the behaviour of her neighbours, & make sure she doesn't do anything to aggravate the situation.
It would of course be very convenient if her neighbours suffered in a way that prevented them being a problem in the future............... being run down by a bus comes to mind :shock: biggrin

. But neither she nor her children can be seen as initiating any violence herself.

11 Feb 2005

I think that JudyTV made a good point about you getting arrested / sued if you attack the scum. The police will always go for the easier target, which is you. Much too much bother to sort out the ones who know how to work the system.
But Judy also made a good point about the Council or housing ass. being part lible for known trouble makers. Could you find out if this family has had trouble with previous neiboughs? If so, as Judy said, why do you not threaten the Council with legal action for putting the scum next to you?
As regards the violent approach, if you do know of people who would assult the scum on your behalve, make sure the scum are assulted in an area away from you, by masked men who do not mention it is anything to do with you!!
John

11 Feb 2005

Alex
As has been said before, the only way forward is photographic and video evidence, constant bombardment to the council, enviromental health people and the police, keep a diary ans sit it out. This will take ages bit keep on at the authorities and you will get results. Violence is not an option but you could invite the local rugby team round for a late and noisy party see how they like it.
Good luck
Tony

12 Feb 2005

i had nighbours like that.
in the end i rang social services up.
within a week they moved lol
hope you get it sorted, no one should have to live like that.

14 Feb 2005

This is interesting reading - whatever your perspective on it!

16 Feb 2005

the house next to me is rented can anyone tell me where/how I can find out who owns it?
I've put off doing this in the hope they would quieten down after I asked them a few times but after months they still stay up shouting until 3/4 in the moring keeping me awake and its driving me nuts. I really dont understand people who cant be considerate as others are to them. I've read these posts and also feel so frustrated Im a physically well built and train in martial arts and cant just go around to teach them the hard way, life is funny in a twisted way. and they moved in 1 week after i did!
I wish a town was created and all bad neighbours were forced to live there so they would learn what we all have to put up with.

16 Feb 2005

Quote by chrissouthsea
the house next to me is rented can anyone tell me where/how I can find out who owns it?

Call Environmental Health when they are making noise. Council will not release their name to you but you can instruct a solicitor to act on your behalf and sue them. Typing one hand as I had accident last night. Good luck

16 Feb 2005

hi alex sorry to hear you are having problems with your neighbours
having had some problems in the past you have our sympathy
alot of the advice you have been given is all good pestering the police
is good loging everything even if they fart flush the loo at the wrong time
drop aplate in the sink really pester the police ,your council should have a
dedicated person to deal with this a community liason officer
the police should have a community bobby,as far as your mp is concerned sod them
write direct to hazel blairs(minister for antisocial behaviour)
if that fails hun get the beer's its time to start banging some heads together
hope things improve good luck