Thank you anais for another lovely post.
Aye BD "who am I to judge" should probably be the swingers slogan.
I do have a suggestion regarding profiles for those who are concerned that those suffering from depression may not be what they want. Perhaps a note on ones own profile to the effect that one is not prepared to meet those suffering or who have suffered from any "mental illness" would reduce any future possibility. I have such a note as I prefer not to play with drunks, doormats and deceivers. It will cut down the number of potential meets quite significantly though.
For those who need a little more information about depression and other mood problems this link may be of use.
Some of you may be aware i discolsed that last october i suffered from a breckdown.
In the height of this i was a mess, i was medicated up to the eye balls and couldnt tell you if it was night or day, or sometimes who i was, but that was extreem.
The meds allowed my body to recover and recoup some strength and kinda forced me to sleep and relax.
i'm sure I'm not the first and wont be the last that will suffer from this.
I'm not thick, I dont have learning difficulties, I had and in fact still have a important job which is very stressful,with that and personal life changes and generally the state the country is in and tired of being whipped by inflation etc i snapped.
I was a stable, confident independent woman. People would have met me, some would have swung with me.
I am still recovering, and although back at work and appearing normal again, i do have depression and dark clouds on some days, and live with a certain amount of fear that i could relapse.
I am not playing right now, I cant be arsed to lol. I'm getting more pleasure out of a soak in the bath, a bed with clean sheets and an early night than meeting what was advertised as a tall tonned single 40 year old vwe guy that typically turns out to be a deceptive married fat 50 year old small dicked guy lol.
If I met him and failed to say "oh 7 months ago i was ill with stress and i still take meds", who would be the bigger lier?
If i had diabities and took meds to control it should i disclose that?
The fact is i dont give a flying fook who knows i was ill, but there is still so much predudice about mental ill health that judgements are made before meeting someone.
Im not dangerous, well no more than I used to be, I wont start crying, well not unless the sex is really crap, and i wont start laughing like a mental patient, well not till you drop your trousers anyway.
i wouldnt meet when feeling ill, so why should i disclose this to some one im about to fuck? i dont want a relationship just sex.
xx fem xx
Bless ya fem for a lovely open honest funny post.
Anais and bone thank you both
you have both changed and opened our minds far more than any self proclaimed expert ever could
we wish you both well
liza n rob xxxxxxxxxx
there have been some interesting posts on this thread, some very open and honest disclosures and unfortunately some misguided comments
I have worked as a mental health nurse for 20 years so have extensive knowledge of mental health issues (not just googled)
1 in 3 people will have been treated for depression in their lifetime so on this site statistically there are likely to be a large number of people who have or had depression, it can happen to ANYONE
there are varying degrees of depression from mild to severe and in my experience whilst depressed most individuals have a low or no libido and sometimes the side effects can cause sexual side effects such as impotence, but whilst prone to depression they do have periods of 'normality' or 'stability'
anger is not always associated with depression and isnt a common symptom so shouldnt always be expected, ive seen some pretty messed up and angry individuals who do not have a mental health problem, might be seen as not being honest but also individual choice, some are worried to disclose this because of usual reaction of rejection
unfortunately there is a lot of stigma associated with mental health (sorry but as yet there is not another term to use) problems and so often people do not want to admit to it, certainly not in an arena such as this, and i wonder if they should actually need to, turning up for a meet sedated on medication was probably not wise though
the advice given to people with depression includes maintain a routine, socialise, do fun activities, these vary amongst individuals and so may include cyber socialising (not heard of any evidence to suggest this is discouraged, infact there is a lot of self help and cognitive behavioural therapy available online now)
they are encouraged to think positively and rebuild confidence and self esteem
i can see two sides to them using a site such as this, as a means to maintain normality and socialisation if this is a usual activity for them but the down side is it could be very demoralising (these points have been mentioned before so wont go into it further)
having worked with individuals with mental health problems i can say there are much scarier people out there not deemed as mentally ill who are the ones to watch out for
Thank you for your post trixie, much appreciated.
Interesting and informative post Trixie, thank you.
Can I just confirm that I was in no way slamming people with mental health issues and depression and I'm sorry if it came across that way. My father was diagnosed as clinically depressed some years back now and my brother dips in and out of it, so I have personal experience of this and in no way think it is something to be ridiculed or scared of.
What I was saying is that I don't think a routine that involves being on here & in Chat 24/7, 365 is a healthy form of 'socialisation', whatever someone's state of mind! Sorry if it wasn't clear earlier.
Fab post trixie...can you come and fix me please!!
BIoke, i quite agree with you, its not healthy for someone 'normal' to do that never mind someone with mental health probs.
I hope your dad and brother have a speedy recovery too...I know from my other halfs perspective and from close friends that depressed people (meaning me!!) can be very difficult to deal with, and that they often feel helpless that they cant do anything to help (as well as cross, fed up, exasperated, annoyed, sad and a million and one other emotions) so kudos to you for being there for your dad and your bro, and for anyone else that has to deal with 'us lot' of mardy buggers!!!
wasnt having a dig at anyone, just offering a professional view and clearing up some of the confusion
my heart goes out to you BIoke seeing close family members suffer and to those that experience it, i have often been told by individuals that they would rather have a broken leg than be depressed
just remember they are a person with periods of depression not a 'depressed person' and sometimes they just need people to be there, idealy people they know and trust
I read the thread over the last few days and always come back to the same thing which is the title "Profile honesty" I just wouldn't expect it. Forget depression you dont know who anyone is or what reason they they may be here for. The next Fred and Rose west may have an account here for all we know so the best thing to do is use it as a guide and if anything does seem odd like it did in the original post then get out.
Back to depression. I imagine anyone on here with it thinks they can deal with it or they wouldn't be here, so I wouldn't think it will be popping up on profiles anytime soon.
I understand your scepticism Brucie. If you really wanna learn about the research behind the stats quoted check out "the myth of the chemical cure" by Moncreif. It will give you references to the studies and you may find it quite entertaining to boot. I can recommend many others if this one yanks your chain.
Alternatively assuming you have a university where you live you should be able to get a readers ticket for their library. The librarian will be happy to find research papers that relate to a meta analyses of depression rates. I would post links to electronic libraries here but without the library access you wouldn't be able to read them for free.
Having read a fair bit of research I'm inclined to agree with a 25% incidence rate over a lifetime for american and british people. But I don't claim to be an expert and as you know these things need to be investigated and a view taken for oneself really.
brucie the figures are based on the number of people diagnosed and treated by General Practitioners, they log all sorts of data which is audited/researched or just monitored, theres are loads of medical research papers that refer to theses statistics
but granted i do take your point they do include those people who turn up at their GP's with what is termed CLS (crap life syndrome) horrible term i know, easier for gp to hand over a prescription, very different from clinical depression, however it is gradually changing with better access to psychological therapies, less free with the diagnosis and pills
TFFT! Not just me then....
I think, as I said before, people involved in the medical profession are at times too quick to try and put a label on it!
If i was 'out of my head on them' I'd expect my partner to deter me from going anywhere.
