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Sex God
Quote by Ben_welshminx
Yes Nola honesty is good but I think its fair to say that prejudices can exist and need to be explored as do "expert" opinions on acceptable behaviour by site users who may or may not have distress issues.
Of course prejudices exist Ben; we're human and fallible.
There are people on the site who are experts in many fields. It's one of the things I like about the site and the forum in particular. We all have something to offer. I think it's good to keep an open mind about what we do know and equally about what we don't know. That way we can learn from each other.
It would be dishonest of me to claim specialist medical or personal knowledge about mental health or depression. It would also be dishonest of me not to recognise that other people do have this knowledge, and still others have knowledge about communication etc through their work/study.
We are all experts at something! :thumbup:
Sex God
living next to and dating one or two of the nurses of bexley mental hospital in my younger days i can assure you i am quiet familiar with the extremes as well as the harmless ben
and the lines not that thick to cross
as far as i`m aware depression is about triggers in the mind and i for one certainly am not interested nor am i going to put liza in any potential situation that might or might not arise on on your say so with no medical training and a google fact (i asked google therefore it must be true )
think i`ll stick with bloke and the shrinks thanks unless you have some real facts like your always asking others for
and the lines not that thick to cross
as far as i`m aware depression is about triggers in the mind and i for one certainly am not interested nor am i going to put liza in any potential situation that might or might not arise on on your say so with no medical training and a google fact (i asked google therefore it must be true )
think i`ll stick with bloke and the shrinks thanks unless you have some real facts like your always asking others for
Sexpert
Quote by noladreams
We are all experts at something! :thumbup:
i,m an expert decorator lol
quite good at annoying ppl too
Mr secks
Sex God
Quote by secksy_cpl
We are all experts at something! :thumbup:
i,m an expert decorator lol
quite good at annoying ppl too
Mr secks
Quote by Lizaleanrob
living next to and dating one or two of the nurses of bexley mental hospital in my younger days i can assure you i am quiet familiar with the extremes as well as the harmless ben
and the lines not that thick to cross
as far as i`m aware depression is about triggers in the mind and i for one certainly am not interested nor am i going to put liza in any potential situation that might or might not arise on on your say so with no medical training and a google fact (i asked google therefore it must be true )
think i`ll stick with bloke and the shrinks thanks unless you have some real facts like your always asking others for
Ya know that is a housing estate now? Makes ya wonder where all the patients went.
That aside it reminds me of a swinging club we used to go to when we first got into the scene.
We met a couple at a pub and all got on but there was never any playing between us. They told us they were regulars at this particular club and persuaded us to go.
On our second visit I think it was we was chatting to a couple who we seemed to be getting on with. We was on the borders of playing with them when the female half of this couple that we met in the pub, pulled me aside.
She told me the guy had a false leg. Now I know some people may see a catch phrase coming here, but there is not one. So we are talking about honesty here, and this couple had done to others what they were about to do to us.
Go upstairs to play and then discover the guy only had one leg. Now we may well not have had a problem with this BUT they should have mentioned it, and we later found out they had done this before and the other females had freaked out when they had suddenly been made aware of this.
Certainly no laughing matter, though we did see a sort of funny side to it afterwards.....motto, always be honest and expect honesty in return and you won't go too far wrong.
Sex God
Quote by secksy_cpl
We are all experts at something! :thumbup:
i,m an expert decorator lol
quite good at annoying ppl too
Mr secks
Can you get your ass up here and demonstrate your expertise then? I have the paint and a roller... just bring yourself! :mrgreen:
I'm an expert in nothing and my profile is as honest as it is blank. :thumbup:
Mod
Mt profile is as honest as it can get,without getting into that much details that the reader wants to chuck their lunch..
They usually do that when and if they ever get to meet me
They usually do that when and if they ever get to meet me
Sex God
Quote by kentswingers777
living next to and dating one or two of the nurses of bexley mental hospital in my younger days i can assure you i am quiet familiar with the extremes as well as the harmless ben
and the lines not that thick to cross
as far as i`m aware depression is about triggers in the mind and i for one certainly am not interested nor am i going to put liza in any potential situation that might or might not arise on on your say so with no medical training and a google fact (i asked google therefore it must be true )
think i`ll stick with bloke and the shrinks thanks unless you have some real facts like your always asking others for
Ya know that is a housing estate now? Makes ya wonder where all the patients went.
That aside it reminds me of a swinging club we used to go to when we first got into the scene.
We met a couple at a pub and all got on but there was never any playing between us. They told us they were regulars at this particular club and persuaded us to go.
On our second visit I think it was we was chatting to a couple who we seemed to be getting on with. We was on the borders of playing with them when the female half of this couple that we met in the pub, pulled me aside.
She told me the guy had a false leg. Now I know some people may see a catch phrase coming here, but there is not one. So we are talking about honesty here, and this couple had done to others what they were about to do to us.
Go upstairs to play and then discover the guy only had one leg. Now we may well not have had a problem with this BUT they should have mentioned it, and we later found out they had done this before and the other females had freaked out when they had suddenly been made aware of this.
Certainly no laughing matter, though we did see a sort of funny side to it afterwards.....motto, always be honest and expect honesty in return and you won't go too far wrong.
does make you wonder kenty
there was three in the dartford area part of bexley is still there (great place to bring up kids ehh)
darenth, which is now darenth valley hospital ,and stone house which my ex father inlaw used to work its now pretty much a failing drug rebab centre
as to where they all went
i think i know where one went :wink:
Experience has also taught me to almost apply a little reverse psychology to reading internet profiles too nowadays. Especially around the 'muscular' body and 'large' assets bit for blokes when they've clearly got pictures alongside said claims that contradict this 
I've also seen a profile once on the internet along the lines of 'I'm a decent, friendly, discreet guy'. At the same time I was reading it, the same person was slating anyone who came into Chat and sharing who he'd shagged and then claiming he'd knocked some of them back and that's why they didn't like him. It kinda blew all three of the adjectives out of the water for him :sad: I guess he was talking in his description of what he'd liketo be. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't happen all the time - I met my partner on the internet.. I'm just a cynical b**tard sometimes
Other things that raise en eyebrow for me is when their self-descriptors say one thing and then what they are looking for says another - e.g. 'straight male' and then they have an ad. in 'men seeking men' and 'men seeking TV's' etc. It's like when the same 'straight' blokes have a list of 'quickies' as long as their arm from bi and gay guys that say 'nice cock mate'.. if there's no cock pics you just know they've been on cam in the 'bi room' in Chat wanking on the quiet :rascal:
I don't care what people are as long as they are honest. Often the only person they are fooling is themselves - it's a Swinging site and I've found it to be a lot more accepting in terms of people's preferences than any other site I've ever used. The gay one's are actually some of the worst - I sat and watched Chat roll up on one well known gay site the other night and it was positively vile what was being posted in its unmoderated forums. Pure hatred in parts.
I guess it's a bit like risk management here. You use all the information you have to make an informed decision and I tend to find it fairly easy to self-disclose. Others don't - again, a lot of it is behavioural, we're all different. I do think that if anyone read some of my Forum posts before meeting me they'd turn heel and run as fast as they could :rascal:
Really interesting thread Lizalenrob :thumbup: x
I've also seen a profile once on the internet along the lines of 'I'm a decent, friendly, discreet guy'. At the same time I was reading it, the same person was slating anyone who came into Chat and sharing who he'd shagged and then claiming he'd knocked some of them back and that's why they didn't like him. It kinda blew all three of the adjectives out of the water for him :sad: I guess he was talking in his description of what he'd liketo be. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't happen all the time - I met my partner on the internet.. I'm just a cynical b**tard sometimes
Other things that raise en eyebrow for me is when their self-descriptors say one thing and then what they are looking for says another - e.g. 'straight male' and then they have an ad. in 'men seeking men' and 'men seeking TV's' etc. It's like when the same 'straight' blokes have a list of 'quickies' as long as their arm from bi and gay guys that say 'nice cock mate'.. if there's no cock pics you just know they've been on cam in the 'bi room' in Chat wanking on the quiet :rascal:
I don't care what people are as long as they are honest. Often the only person they are fooling is themselves - it's a Swinging site and I've found it to be a lot more accepting in terms of people's preferences than any other site I've ever used. The gay one's are actually some of the worst - I sat and watched Chat roll up on one well known gay site the other night and it was positively vile what was being posted in its unmoderated forums. Pure hatred in parts.
I guess it's a bit like risk management here. You use all the information you have to make an informed decision and I tend to find it fairly easy to self-disclose. Others don't - again, a lot of it is behavioural, we're all different. I do think that if anyone read some of my Forum posts before meeting me they'd turn heel and run as fast as they could :rascal:
Really interesting thread Lizalenrob :thumbup: x
Going back to the OP.
"which brings me to my point should people be a little more honest on profiles or concerning meets if they have this sort of illness and should they be meeting even"
It was I believe about depressed people swinging.
1. If you have had 2 meets with couples it is more likely than not that you have swung with somebody suffering from or who has suffered from depression or some other form of distress.
2. Depressed people and those suffering from other forms of distress are NOT more likely to hurt you or your loved ones.
3. I recall a study that correlated high levels of sexual adventure amongst those with various states of distress. Presumably those with high levels of sexual adventure are attracted to swinging.
That said I intend to shag folk I feel comfy with. If peoples mental state is of huge concern to an individual I would suggest that swinging is probably not a good idea for that individual.
I am hugely in favour of personal preference and choice. I am hugely not in favour of prejudice or the stereotypes that underlie such prejudices.
"which brings me to my point should people be a little more honest on profiles or concerning meets if they have this sort of illness and should they be meeting even"
It was I believe about depressed people swinging.
1. If you have had 2 meets with couples it is more likely than not that you have swung with somebody suffering from or who has suffered from depression or some other form of distress.
2. Depressed people and those suffering from other forms of distress are NOT more likely to hurt you or your loved ones.
3. I recall a study that correlated high levels of sexual adventure amongst those with various states of distress. Presumably those with high levels of sexual adventure are attracted to swinging.
That said I intend to shag folk I feel comfy with. If peoples mental state is of huge concern to an individual I would suggest that swinging is probably not a good idea for that individual.
I am hugely in favour of personal preference and choice. I am hugely not in favour of prejudice or the stereotypes that underlie such prejudices.
Quote by Lizaleanrob
living next to and dating one or two of the nurses of bexley mental hospital in my younger days i can assure you i am quiet familiar with the extremes as well as the harmless ben
and the lines not that thick to cross
as far as i`m aware depression is about triggers in the mind and i for one certainly am not interested nor am i going to put liza in any potential situation that might or might not arise on on your say so with no medical training and a google fact (i asked google therefore it must be true )
think i`ll stick with bloke and the shrinks thanks unless you have some real facts like your always asking others for
Ya know that is a housing estate now? Makes ya wonder where all the patients went.
That aside it reminds me of a swinging club we used to go to when we first got into the scene.
We met a couple at a pub and all got on but there was never any playing between us. They told us they were regulars at this particular club and persuaded us to go.
On our second visit I think it was we was chatting to a couple who we seemed to be getting on with. We was on the borders of playing with them when the female half of this couple that we met in the pub, pulled me aside.
She told me the guy had a false leg. Now I know some people may see a catch phrase coming here, but there is not one. So we are talking about honesty here, and this couple had done to others what they were about to do to us.
Go upstairs to play and then discover the guy only had one leg. Now we may well not have had a problem with this BUT they should have mentioned it, and we later found out they had done this before and the other females had freaked out when they had suddenly been made aware of this.
Certainly no laughing matter, though we did see a sort of funny side to it afterwards.....motto, always be honest and expect honesty in return and you won't go too far wrong.
does make you wonder kenty
there was three in the dartford area part of bexley is still there (great place to bring up kids ehh)
darenth, which is now darenth valley hospital ,and stone house which my ex father inlaw used to work its now pretty much a failing drug rebab centre
as to where they all went
i think i know where one went :wink:
Think I know too.
Mod
Quote by brucie
1. depressed
2. mentally unstable
3. chronic low self esteem
4. borderline retardation
5. full on special needs
.
Is it just me that thinks that all of the above describes brucie to a "T"
Quote by brucie
i clicked on this thread with the full intention of reading it through. the first post was very interesting and i was intrigued. but then i got 3 or 4 posts in and read this from BIoke and had to respond (sorry i its been covered)
"In my opinion, if people are suffering from any kind of depression etc they shouldn't be using this place full stop, let alone meeting socially for potential sex."
half the people in chat strike me immediately as falling in to the categories of
1. depressed
2. mentally unstable
3. chronic low self esteem
4. borderline retardation
5. full on special needs
now i have been on record here stating that i often find it disturbing when in a club i see (usually women) who dont look "right".
i often get the same feeling here.
Oh come on brucie, say what you mean, spit it out man! ;)
i think one has to exercise a certain amount of prejudice and discrimination to avoid an unpleasant situation.
just suppose you copped off with someone who is suffering quite badly from any kind of condition; which wasn't obvious at the time; but later you were judged to be the more responsible person.
you have to invoke the choice and decision using p and d, otherwise the consequences could be disastrous.
just suppose you copped off with someone who is suffering quite badly from any kind of condition; which wasn't obvious at the time; but later you were judged to be the more responsible person.
you have to invoke the choice and decision using p and d, otherwise the consequences could be disastrous.
Quote by brucie
There are vulnerable people everywhere Brucie.
ofcourse, but as a society arent we supposed to look after them?
question. how would YOU (thats all of you) react if there was somebody with obvious learning difficulties (thats the pc term now right?) in a club you were at?
Seeing as there are people on these forums that never learn when to stfu, thats a broad list of potential playmates
Orgasminator
Quote by duncanlondon
i think one has to exercise a certain amount of prejudice and discrimination to avoid an unpleasant situation.
just suppose you copped off with someone who is suffering quite badly from any kind of condition; which wasn't obvious at the time; but later you were judged to be the more responsible person.
you have to invoke the choice and decision using p and d, otherwise the consequences could be disastrous.
The concequences can indeed be disaterous.
Example - I was at a festival a few years ago when a man was accused of a 20 something year old woman. He belived she was fully consentual. It transpired that she had learning difficulties and the mental age of a 9 year old. How he didnt realise that at the time was a question that was raised. But it was her friends who cried when they realised what had happened to her.
I didnt get very close to know any more of the details, was she upset? did she understand what had happened the night before? Or what was happening in the aftermath? I have no idea, I didnt know them at all, they were just camped near us, near enough that we knew what was going on. The police were called, statements taken and it was a real mess for all concerned. I dont know how far it went after that.
I agree with Kaz's last post that people with learning difficulties are sexual too but in some cases they might not have the emotional maturity to deal with sexual relationships or encounters And if thats the case it presents a real danger to not just themselves but any man who ventures there. Its seems then the responsibility of the other party not to take advantage in who amounts to being a grown up child.
Edit - perhaps gone a little off topic there after all...
Sex God
If someone with learning difficulties is in a swingers club in the first place then surely they know the reason that place exists
If they arrive at the venue un-accompanied then perhaps that is the case...
If they arrive with a "carer" then is it not they who should be taken to task and questioned on the validity or maybe even the morality of the reasons for being there :dunno:
If they arrive at the venue un-accompanied then perhaps that is the case...
If they arrive with a "carer" then is it not they who should be taken to task and questioned on the validity or maybe even the morality of the reasons for being there :dunno:
going back to the OP, which was about depression, and who ever it was who said anyone with depression shouldnt be here.....I would for the most part disagree with that statement.
I suffer with depression...have done for 16 years on and off...altho more on than off in recent years.....and have never made a secret of it....some people have met me at munchesin a play situation, and been able to form their own opinions of me, some only know me through my forum posts (and again have their own opinions of me)
Having depression hasnt stopped me from feeling sexy and needing a damn good shag at times LOL...the meds I am on manage my depression quite well, to enable me to lead a fairly normal life.
I am on a break from playing at the minute as I have also got Post Natal depression......and my libido has plummeted.
Depression, by its very nature is not a rigid condition...its extremely fluid and constantly changing....it affects different people in different ways, and indeed can differ from day to day in the same person.....some days I feel low, it can range from anger, to tearfulness, to needing a cuddle, to wanting to be alone, to self esteem probs, self doubt, quietness and so on.....
some days I want to wallow in it, some days I cant help but wallow in it, some days I feel that I want to hide it, put on my happy face and pretend all is fabulous with the world, or to be happy and make others laugh/smile/feel good, because that then alters my mood and makes me feel good.
Altho I dont hide it, I really dont think I'd like to splash it all over my profile...I may as well have a big sign saying...barking mad lunatic, please do not approach...at all....whatsoever!
However having said that....if the guy was on meds that completely spaced/zoned him out from reality, in that he was unable to quite function at normal capacity, I would wonder at why the wife would bring him/allow him along to a meet, where first impressions are all important....I would think her motives were not quite of the 'trying to keep some kind of normality' and more either trying to get a shag for herself (maybe she needed one, if her hubby wasnt able to perform), or possibly a break from the lonliness that can sometimes happen as the partner of someone with depression, or many other reasons.
Its a shame for the OP to be faced with this situation, it must have been very awkward for all concerned, but I dont think its the norm for people to be so drugged out of their bonce and still attend meets.....I do however lay money there being more people with depression that we realise, who use the site/forums, and do so without anyone else ever knowing.
I suffer with depression...have done for 16 years on and off...altho more on than off in recent years.....and have never made a secret of it....some people have met me at munchesin a play situation, and been able to form their own opinions of me, some only know me through my forum posts (and again have their own opinions of me)
Having depression hasnt stopped me from feeling sexy and needing a damn good shag at times LOL...the meds I am on manage my depression quite well, to enable me to lead a fairly normal life.
I am on a break from playing at the minute as I have also got Post Natal depression......and my libido has plummeted.
Depression, by its very nature is not a rigid condition...its extremely fluid and constantly changing....it affects different people in different ways, and indeed can differ from day to day in the same person.....some days I feel low, it can range from anger, to tearfulness, to needing a cuddle, to wanting to be alone, to self esteem probs, self doubt, quietness and so on.....
some days I want to wallow in it, some days I cant help but wallow in it, some days I feel that I want to hide it, put on my happy face and pretend all is fabulous with the world, or to be happy and make others laugh/smile/feel good, because that then alters my mood and makes me feel good.
Altho I dont hide it, I really dont think I'd like to splash it all over my profile...I may as well have a big sign saying...barking mad lunatic, please do not approach...at all....whatsoever!
However having said that....if the guy was on meds that completely spaced/zoned him out from reality, in that he was unable to quite function at normal capacity, I would wonder at why the wife would bring him/allow him along to a meet, where first impressions are all important....I would think her motives were not quite of the 'trying to keep some kind of normality' and more either trying to get a shag for herself (maybe she needed one, if her hubby wasnt able to perform), or possibly a break from the lonliness that can sometimes happen as the partner of someone with depression, or many other reasons.
Its a shame for the OP to be faced with this situation, it must have been very awkward for all concerned, but I dont think its the norm for people to be so drugged out of their bonce and still attend meets.....I do however lay money there being more people with depression that we realise, who use the site/forums, and do so without anyone else ever knowing.
Sex God
Quote by Thebonediggers
going back to the OP, which was about depression, and who ever it was who said anyone with depression shouldnt be here.....I would for the most part disagree with that statement.
I suffer with depression...have done for 16 years on and off...altho more on than off in recent years.....and have never made a secret of it....some people have met me at munchesin a play situation, and been able to form their own opinions of me, some only know me through my forum posts (and again have their own opinions of me)
Having depression hasnt stopped me from feeling sexy and needing a damn good shag at times LOL...the meds I am on manage my depression quite well, to enable me to lead a fairly normal life.
I am on a break from playing at the minute as I have also got Post Natal depression......and my libido has plummeted.
Depression, by its very nature is not a rigid condition...its extremely fluid and constantly changing....it affects different people in different ways, and indeed can differ from day to day in the same person.....some days I feel low, it can range from anger, to tearfulness, to needing a cuddle, to wanting to be alone, to self esteem probs, self doubt, quietness and so on.....
some days I want to wallow in it, some days I cant help but wallow in it, some days I feel that I want to hide it, put on my happy face and pretend all is fabulous with the world, or to be happy and make others laugh/smile/feel good, because that then alters my mood and makes me feel good.
Altho I dont hide it, I really dont think I'd like to splash it all over my profile...I may as well have a big sign saying...barking mad lunatic, please do not approach...at all....whatsoever!
However having said that....if the guy was on meds that completely spaced/zoned him out from reality, in that he was unable to quite function at normal capacity, I would wonder at why the wife would bring him/allow him along to a meet, where first impressions are all important....I would think her motives were not quite of the 'trying to keep some kind of normality' and more either trying to get a shag for herself (maybe she needed one, if her hubby wasnt able to perform), or possibly a break from the lonliness that can sometimes happen as the partner of someone with depression, or many other reasons.
Its a shame for the OP to be faced with this situation, it must have been very awkward for all concerned, but I dont think its the norm for people to be so drugged out of their bonce and still attend meets.....I do however lay money there being more people with depression that we realise, who use the site/forums, and do so without anyone else ever knowing.
thank you bone for you honesty and a letting us share what i feel is the only real qualified reply to my o/p and probably the only one we want to read
my op stated profile honesty when it should have stated honesty about meets as we feel now we`ve had time to digest the situation had we known a little more from the start and had they not tried to rush a meet with the guy being in no fit condition.
then things may have been a little different
i dont feel this guy should or was in any fit state to meet and as you say you know when to and when not to meet which can only be admired
our was not a question of depression but more a question of how this individual may have acted had the meet progressed as you state depression takes many different courses with anger being one and with a lack of disclosure to begin then everything must be assumed to be suck it and see senario (scuse the pun ) not something i/we was prepared to gamble with
i hope our op has not brought you any distress or raised any issues you find offensive
from us to you :rose::therethere: and a big hug
we wish you well and pray for your speedy recovery
liza n rob xxxxx
Thank you very much for your kind comments everyone, they mean a lot :inlove:
L & R, i am not offended at all by anything you wrote, I can imagine it was a bit of a shock to come across someone who was clearly not up to par, and possibly not even up to socialising, let alone playing...but again, thats a guess made after reading the OP.
I hope you were not put off from trying again with someone else, sometimes you just dont hit it off with someone anyway, I know Im not everyones cup of tea either lol.
I just hope that my post helped people see that depression is not all about being zoned out on drugs....I rattle when I walk because I am on the highest dosage of the medication Im on, but that allows me to function normally (or as near normal as I can get anyways) for 95% of the time.....most people dont or wouldnt know I am depressed if they met me, without prior knowledge of my depression.
Hope you find the right people to play with, and enjoy your sexy fun, weather its just a dabble or a lifestyle change.
xxx
L & R, i am not offended at all by anything you wrote, I can imagine it was a bit of a shock to come across someone who was clearly not up to par, and possibly not even up to socialising, let alone playing...but again, thats a guess made after reading the OP.
I hope you were not put off from trying again with someone else, sometimes you just dont hit it off with someone anyway, I know Im not everyones cup of tea either lol.
I just hope that my post helped people see that depression is not all about being zoned out on drugs....I rattle when I walk because I am on the highest dosage of the medication Im on, but that allows me to function normally (or as near normal as I can get anyways) for 95% of the time.....most people dont or wouldnt know I am depressed if they met me, without prior knowledge of my depression.
Hope you find the right people to play with, and enjoy your sexy fun, weather its just a dabble or a lifestyle change.
xxx
Interesting discussion this has become
I think some sufferers of (long term) depression know themselves quite well and become aware when they want to be alone or when in need or ready for company (whether that be on-line or off-line). Yet, they maybe times when they mistakenly think they are ready for company or are aware their partners needs and do it for them. It can be hard work living with a depressive and very isolating for both parties in different ways - depending on how severe their depression is.
At times - its actually quite comforting to be in someone's presence that you fee safe with and not have to talk, be happy or chatty. Even if that's listening to others natter around you and not joining in. Everyone is at different stages of a cycle (down or up) they are going through.
Yet, saying all the above as a long term sufferer myself. I wouldn't want to spend to long in the company of another person with depression when I'm not feeling on top form. I've done it and it doesn't agree with me emotionally - I can't deal with anyone else when they are suffering badly. Not sure I've explained that well? Its not that I don't feel for them - its because I feel for them that I can't do it. Sounds selfish really! But hey - its about what I know works for me at any given time!
Which brings me to the crux of the question really - is that person in the right frame of mind to have a meet?? As a single or a couple, you have to do what feels right for you and you only. It is about you after all and how comfortable you are. If it doesn't feel right - you don't do it. Its not your responsibility to worry if another is making the right decision (unless something happening without consent - that's another matter), say your goodbyes! Write it off and move on.
I made my choice for me as a member here years ago. I felt that I wasn't in the right frame of mind to meet anyone. I didn't feel it was fair, nor did I feel I was thinking clearly. I've come through the other side now and glad I made a decision that was right for meat that time. I've taken time out when its been really bad as I don't believe I was in the right head space for the site or myself and I'm glad I was strong enough to do that. That's me tho, and we are all different and deal with things in a variety of ways that suits us.
For those who may think my ups and downs may effect my moderating here - it doesn't! Moderating is the last thing you want to do at the low tides and I know me well enough to shut me gob and lay low :lol: Or I go find something else to do in the background like authorising photos (can assure you after a few weeks of cock after cock you want to talk to someone :lol: ) . Plus we are lucky enough to to have plenty of moderators who speak up and suggest other ways to deal with issues that crop up. Its all about discussion and that is done extremely thorough until we all in a majority agreement of which course to follow. Decisions like that don't happen everyday/week so its not often anything gets to that stage. Failing that - Admin can step in and give support or deal with it themselves :thumbup:
I think some sufferers of (long term) depression know themselves quite well and become aware when they want to be alone or when in need or ready for company (whether that be on-line or off-line). Yet, they maybe times when they mistakenly think they are ready for company or are aware their partners needs and do it for them. It can be hard work living with a depressive and very isolating for both parties in different ways - depending on how severe their depression is.
At times - its actually quite comforting to be in someone's presence that you fee safe with and not have to talk, be happy or chatty. Even if that's listening to others natter around you and not joining in. Everyone is at different stages of a cycle (down or up) they are going through.
Yet, saying all the above as a long term sufferer myself. I wouldn't want to spend to long in the company of another person with depression when I'm not feeling on top form. I've done it and it doesn't agree with me emotionally - I can't deal with anyone else when they are suffering badly. Not sure I've explained that well? Its not that I don't feel for them - its because I feel for them that I can't do it. Sounds selfish really! But hey - its about what I know works for me at any given time!
Which brings me to the crux of the question really - is that person in the right frame of mind to have a meet?? As a single or a couple, you have to do what feels right for you and you only. It is about you after all and how comfortable you are. If it doesn't feel right - you don't do it. Its not your responsibility to worry if another is making the right decision (unless something happening without consent - that's another matter), say your goodbyes! Write it off and move on.
I made my choice for me as a member here years ago. I felt that I wasn't in the right frame of mind to meet anyone. I didn't feel it was fair, nor did I feel I was thinking clearly. I've come through the other side now and glad I made a decision that was right for meat that time. I've taken time out when its been really bad as I don't believe I was in the right head space for the site or myself and I'm glad I was strong enough to do that. That's me tho, and we are all different and deal with things in a variety of ways that suits us.
For those who may think my ups and downs may effect my moderating here - it doesn't! Moderating is the last thing you want to do at the low tides and I know me well enough to shut me gob and lay low
:lol: Or I go find something else to do in the background like authorising photos (can assure you after a few weeks of cock after cock you want to talk to someone :lol: ) . Plus we are lucky enough to to have plenty of moderators who speak up and suggest other ways to deal with issues that crop up. Its all about discussion and that is done extremely thorough until we all in a majority agreement of which course to follow. Decisions like that don't happen everyday/week so its not often anything gets to that stage. Failing that - Admin can step in and give support or deal with it themselves :thumbup: 