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\"Eastenders\" and sex culture

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Unknown User
Yes, rightly or wrongly, I do watch this soap redface
A few episodes ago, an Asian girl character said to GARY, a sincere man who doesn't have much luck with the ladies, "in my culture, you would have been married off years ago."
The Eastern arranged marriage culture clearly favours more men, whereas the Western culture gives the decission making right to women. There are winners and loosers under both systems.
On balance, even as a man, I support the Western culture, I respect women and feel that sex is more personal to them, even to women who love sex and there is nothing wrong in that! However, there are trade-offs:
The Western system favours most women (I will come on to the ones who suffer shortly) and some men - the good looking, the powerful, pop singers, footballers and the like.
However, due to the large number of excluded males, the incidence of is higher - hence some women suffer and how so.
I think it would take a greater man than me to find the solution to "the Worlds oldest problem", but anyone out there have any views confused:
Respectfully submitted.
Plim :? :?
Unknown User
Plim - interesting post, sorry to say I disagree with most of it lol
Quote by Plimboy
(Apologies, Plim, I'm cutting bits here) The Eastern arranged marriage culture clearly favours more men, whereas the Western culture gives the decission making right to women. There are winners and loosers under both systems.

I don't know much about Eastern culture, so I can't comment on that - but I don't see how Western culture favours the woman in the issue of marriage.
Are you saying that in most circumstances, it's the woman's choice as to whether a couple get married or not?
Isn't marriage a 2-person decision? How about the ladies who would like to get married but their partner doesn't want to?
Quote by Plimboy
The Western system favours most women (I will come on to the ones who suffer shortly) and some men - the good looking, the powerful, pop singers, footballers and the like.

Whoah there! Are the only men who are getting any sex those who are good looking, powerful or footballers? Is this really what you are saying?
What about the millions of normal looking people, who arent powerful or footballers? Aren't they getting any? I think you are way off the mark here. Although for most people there has to be an attraction, that can be for any number of reasons - not just facial appearance.
Quote by Plimboy
However, due to the large number of excluded males, the incidence of is higher - hence some women suffer and how so.

What about the rapists who do have physical relationships - wives, girlfriends... And what about all those men NOT in a physical relationship - are those more likely to be rapists?
So - all in all, I agree with none of it, but interesting post, Plim wink
tomu
Sexpert
Quote by Plimboy
the Western culture gives the decission making right to women.
The Western system favours most women (I will come on to the ones who suffer shortly) and some men - the good looking, the powerful, pop singers, footballers and the like.

Um - I don't really see how this is the case, surely under "the western system" (ie consensual marriages, which also happen in India, by the way) men also have some choice in who they marry? You have the right to say no, when proposed to, right? In fact, aren't you the one doing the proposing? I can't really see that giving women the right to say no too constitutes "favouring" them.
Your point about "some men" is also clearly nonsense - the same rules obviously apply to both genders. Do you feel that in a consensual system the men all sit around minding their own business and watching the football while circling packs of women pick off the good ones and ignore the duds? Would Bridget Jones have agreed at the start of the movie?
In any case isn't it more common in our culture for the men to do the asking?
The whole thing about is odd - you're saying that the cause of is women having the option to say no. Um, well, technically, but...
...and as Cherrytree said above, to say that all is committed by single men who aren't able to find a partner in any other way is a stretch.
Incidentally, another one for the pot - in one study I read about based in Hindu society in India, which claimed to be based in a culture where both arranged and love marriages exist as options, and where divorce is equally permitted in both types. It found that divorces were found to be far more common in the love marriages. So in the arranged marriages, the families of both partners chose people they thought would be compatible in the long term, based on personality, values and cultural background, whereas the love marriages were based on an initial rush of hormones that wore off after three years/six months/in the morning.
Edit: the point being, arranged marriages are often not done solely from the man's perspective, but, where they work best, are planned by both families with the long term interests of both parties in mind.
Freckledbird
Sex God
Quote by Plimboy
Yes, rightly or wrongly, I do watch this soap redface
A few episodes ago, an Asian girl character said to GARY, a sincere man who doesn't have much luck with the ladies, "in my culture, you would have been married off years ago."
The Eastern arranged marriage culture clearly favours more men, whereas the Western culture gives the decission making right to women. There are winners and loosers under both systems.
On balance, even as a man, I support the Western culture, I respect women and feel that sex is more personal to them, even to women who love sex and there is nothing wrong in that! However, there are trade-offs:
The Western system favours most women (I will come on to the ones who suffer shortly) and some men - the good looking, the powerful, pop singers, footballers and the like.
However, due to the large number of excluded males, the incidence of is higher - hence some women suffer and how so.
I think it would take a greater man than me to find the solution to "the Worlds oldest problem", but anyone out there have any views confused:
Respectfully submitted.
Plim :? :?

My view? I think you've made some very sweeping statements there, a lot of which I'd disagree with - for the same reasons as Cherry has already stated.
Unknown User
I know a fair bit about both cultures and I think if you were to look into it more you would also find that against both men and women happens in both cultures. What is different is reporting figures as in many cultures is seen as a stigma against the person who has been and if reported they are subsequently shunned from their communities and families this will deter the victim from reporting therefore skewing the figures.
also happens between husband and wife in all cultures.
'Arranged marriages last longer' is also a generalisation. What you will find is that arranged marriages are done by traditionalists who will constructively support the couple but who will withdraw all support if either party want to leave the marriage. Many women and men have lost their lives when attempting to break free from these marriages.
I could go on and on but won't as I think that there will be others who will also add their own thoughts.
I think you are on thin ice with a lot of your generalisations.
in edit. If a marriages longevity is the only sign of quality then you are also on very thin ice.
tomu
Sexpert
Quote by splendid_
'Arranged marriages last longer' is also a generalisation. What you will find is that arranged marriages are done by traditionalists who will constructively support the couple but who will withdraw all support if either party want to leave the marriage. Many women and men have lost their lives when attempting to break free from these marriages.

Yeah, I think this is a fair point.
Unknown User
Quote by Cherrytree
Plim - interesting post, sorry to say I disagree with most of it lol

(Apologies, Plim, I'm cutting bits here) The Eastern arranged marriage culture clearly favours more men, whereas the Western culture gives the decission making right to women. There are winners and loosers under both systems.

I don't know much about Eastern culture, so I can't comment on that - but I don't see how Western culture favours the woman in the issue of marriage.
Are you saying that in most circumstances, it's the woman's choice as to whether a couple get married or not?
Isn't marriage a 2-person decision? How about the ladies who would like to get married but their partner doesn't want to?
Quote by Plimboy
The Western system favours most women (I will come on to the ones who suffer shortly) and some men - the good looking, the powerful, pop singers, footballers and the like.

Whoah there! Are the only men who are getting any sex those who are good looking, powerful or footballers? Is this really what you are saying?
What about the millions of normal looking people, who arent powerful or footballers? Aren't they getting any? I think you are way off the mark here. Although for most people there has to be an attraction, that can be for any number of reasons - not just facial appearance.
Quote by Plimboy
However, due to the large number of excluded males, the incidence of is higher - hence some women suffer and how so.

What about the rapists who do have physical relationships - wives, girlfriends... And what about all those men NOT in a physical relationship - are those more likely to be rapists?
So - all in all, I agree with none of it, but interesting post, Plim wink
Don't be sorry about disagreeing with me - that is the whole point of a Forum (I think?).
Plim smile
Unknown User
Quote by Plimboy
Don't be sorry about disagreeing with me - that is the whole point of a Forum (I think?).
Plim smile

True :thumbup:
Unknown User
Quote by splendid_
I know a fair bit about both cultures and I think if you were to look into it more you would also find that against both men and women happens in both cultures. What is different is reporting figures as in many cultures is seen as a stigma against the person who has been and if reported they are subsequently shunned from their communities and families this will deter the victim from reporting therefore skewing the figures.
also happens between husband and wife in all cultures.
'Arranged marriages last longer' is also a generalisation. What you will find is that arranged marriages are done by traditionalists who will constructively support the couple but who will withdraw all support if either party want to leave the marriage. Many women and men have lost their lives when attempting to break free from these marriages.
I could go on and on but won't as I think that there will be others who will also add their own thoughts.
I think you are on thin ice with a lot of your generalisations.
in edit. If a marriages longevity is the only sign of quality then you are also on very thin ice.

I don't think I said anything about marriage longevity.
Plim confused
Unknown User
Quote by Plimboy
I know a fair bit about both cultures and I think if you were to look into it more you would also find that against both men and women happens in both cultures. What is different is reporting figures as in many cultures is seen as a stigma against the person who has been and if reported they are subsequently shunned from their communities and families this will deter the victim from reporting therefore skewing the figures.
also happens between husband and wife in all cultures.
'Arranged marriages last longer' is also a generalisation. What you will find is that arranged marriages are done by traditionalists who will constructively support the couple but who will withdraw all support if either party want to leave the marriage. Many women and men have lost their lives when attempting to break free from these marriages.
I could go on and on but won't as I think that there will be others who will also add their own thoughts.
I think you are on thin ice with a lot of your generalisations.
in edit. If a marriages longevity is the only sign of quality then you are also on very thin ice.

I don't think I said anything about marriage longevity.
Plim confused
I didn't quote you as I wasn't just responding to you (I haven't attempted to learn the multiple quote thingie). tomu spoke of marriage longevity. I apologise for being lazy and missing out my references.
smile