As a {recently} single female ive wondered about "safe calls" Its a scary world out there and when a person goes off to meet someone, you never know if they are "normal" for want of a better word. I cant exactly say to my nilla friends im off to meet some random person{s} Any suggestions please. dee x
The obvious one, meet in public places, coffee bars, pubs etc, swingers clubs are great but can give the wrong signal to some guys who might think sex is going to be a definite part of the meeting.
Definitely a public place, preferably where it's busy and is within close proximity of your car (if you drive) or near public transport so you can run to it if need be
Take woohoo with you, hard as nails and such a gentleman that if he got out of order he would kick his own ass!! :thumbup: Holy mother of.... I know I was less active on here for part of last year but how the hell did I miss the return of little gem??? :sad: *EDIT* Bloke came back (again!!) too, I may take a few days to recover from this.......
There was one time I met with a girl and the first thing she did was take a photo of my number plate and text it to her friend. I thought it was a great idea, and would imagine anyone suspicious would be much more likely to object. For all I know she could have sent it to herself, but how would anyone know? Safety cuts both ways though, and men should also be careful ... For instance, there was a time in not too distant memory where a girl was so pissed that I decided it wouldn't be a good idea to have sex with her. However, she refused to take no for an answer, locked me in her house and drunkenly pretended to have mislaid her keys ... all while accusing me of being gay and trying to drag me upstairs "just for a cuddle"! I escaped in the end, but not before threatening to call the police or kick her windows in! The next day I was met with a load of abusive texts accusing me of stealing her laptop ... until sometime later she found it and apologised. :shock:
Quote by flirty_4 Definitely a public place, preferably where it's busy and is within close proximity of your car (if you drive) or near public transport so you can run to it if need be
you be careful running or you'll get two black eyes :lol:
Quote by tyracer Definitely a public place, preferably where it's busy and is within close proximity of your car (if you drive) or near public transport so you can run to it if need be
you be careful running or you'll get two black eyes :lol: I make sure I hold onto them for that reason :rascal:
Quote by flirty_4 Definitely a public place, preferably where it's busy and is within close proximity of your car (if you drive) or near public transport so you can run to it if need be
you be careful running or you'll get two black eyes :lol: I make sure I hold onto them for that reason :rascal: If that was an event I might actually watch the commonwealth games! 50m Hold 'em and dash, only for women with actual boobs, it would be so much more entertaining for us gentleman pervs :rascal:
Help my thread got hijacked Okay.......tries again. 1st meet out of the way.....things go well. 2nd meet.........a nice discreet place for rampant sex. Who do i tell where im going and what im up to I know i could give my number to some friends from SH but im discreet :high-smile: dee x
one of the best places is McDonalds for a coffee !! There is always one close...its a public place...and its only 10 min cuppa.....so if they are not what you want....no problem....if you think they are nice...then arrange to meet again.....somewhere more appropriate maybe !! Oh and they do a nice muffin as well..lol
Quote by dee_licious Help my thread got hijacked Okay.......tries again. 1st meet out of the way.....things go well. 2nd meet.........a nice discreet place for rampant sex. Who do i tell where im going and what im up to I know i could give my number to some friends from SH but im discreet :high-smile: dee x
Dee the other night a young someone asked me to do this for them as their partner was busy elsewhere. I didn't know this person all that well, and it seemed like an odd request but they were very keen to go to that meet and there was nobody else they could have asked. I was given an address and then we went through the routine, to make sure I understood. I checked the process: I will call you at x o'clock (30' into the meeting), I will expect a text from you telling me everything's ok, if you don't reply I will ring you. That's as far as the plan went. I asked, if you don't answer the ring, do I call the police? And they said, I guess so, my partner and I had never thought of what happens then! I wondered to what extent this was a safety blanket to pacify emotional worry rather than a safety precaution that would *actually* keep someone safe? What do people think, is there a point to text/phone measures? After I had that chat I got worried retrospectively for all the "risky" stuff I've done over the years. Things that sound reckless on paper, but didn't feel risky to me at the time - I wouldn't even call someone on the phone if I didn't feel comfortable with them. Once I asked a guy to give me a ride to where we were meeting (ie. we went together), and while driving me there *he* said he was surprised I'd ride with him there, though he'd think it ok if I rode back after we'd met there. He advised me on noting people's number plates in the future. Next time I met someone I refused to get in their car and they laughed at me as I walked three blocks and they drove But anyway - yes pick an SH friend! I don't think it's such a major breech of discretion to give your whereabouts, or even who you're gonna be with... it's not kiss&tell until you've given them a blow-by-blow description of what went on! That's what the stories section is for. :P
Quote by pebble Help my thread got hijacked Okay.......tries again. 1st meet out of the way.....things go well. 2nd meet.........a nice discreet place for rampant sex. Who do i tell where im going and what im up to I know i could give my number to some friends from SH but im discreet :high-smile: dee x
Dee the other night a young someone asked me to do this for them as their partner was busy elsewhere. I didn't know this person all that well, and it seemed like an odd request but they were very keen to go to that meet and there was nobody else they could have asked. I was given an address and then we went through the routine, to make sure I understood. I checked the process: I will call you at x o'clock (30' into the meeting), I will expect a text from you telling me everything's ok, if you don't reply I will ring you. That's as far as the plan went. I asked, if you don't answer the ring, do I call the police? And they said, I guess so, my partner and I had never thought of what happens then! I wondered to what extent this was a safety blanket to pacify emotional worry rather than a safety precaution that would *actually* keep someone safe? What do people think, is there a point to text/phone measures? After I had that chat I got worried retrospectively for all the "risky" stuff I've done over the years. Things that sound reckless on paper, but didn't feel risky to me at the time - I wouldn't even call someone on the phone if I didn't feel comfortable with them. Once I asked a guy to give me a ride to where we were meeting (ie. we went together), and while driving me there *he* said he was surprised I'd ride with him there, though he'd think it ok if I rode back after we'd met there. He advised me on noting people's number plates in the future. Next time I met someone I refused to get in their car and they laughed at me as I walked three blocks and they drove But anyway - yes pick an SH friend! I don't think it's such a major breech of discretion to give your whereabouts, or even who you're gonna be with... it's not kiss&tell until you've given them a blow-by-blow description of what went on! That's what the stories section is for. :P Pebbles ..thank you for that reply When i was active in the BDSM scene, my ex and i used to act as "chaperones" for want of a better word. People would have our number and tell us who, what and where they were going. Safety was paramount. it's not kiss&tell until you've given them a blow-by-blow description of what went on! That's what the stories section is for :lol:
If someone's not verified then first meet at a club every time. I have a payg sim that can be changed immediately and have a swinging only email address. Oh and 3 things deliberately wrong in my profile, not by much but enough. Been stalked offline and online (on here on sh and admirably dealt with) so I'm very careful. I also occasionally go to socials as a good way to meet the more genuine peeps. Hth x
The logical thing to do is find someone within our community that you trust and contact them before, during and after a meet. I would suggest that you agree a codeword to say your safe, not a straight forward open text message as anyone would be able to send that if they could use your phone. Something as plain, boring and simple as 'Ive just put the bins out' could mean your home safe, and only you would know to send that.
When i was swinging as a single i had a friend that i let know where i was going plus i also txt them the car reg of the person i was meeting. I always told the person i was meeting that i was doing that and also that i had to contact my "safe" person during the evening. They were always ok with it and it seemed to keep me safe .... apart from the guy who wanted me to get in his boot so he could drive into his garage without me being seen by neighbours lol ... erm no way lol
Quote by nellie-mwgc apart from the guy who wanted me to get in his boot so he could drive into his garage without me being seen by neighbours lol
:shock: Please tell me this was a joke! OK here is my conundrum: every one says meet in public places, and in clubs - I feel ok with the daytime meets but in the night time, meeting in public and especially the idea of going to a club alone fills me with anxiety. For example, when I went to the local munch I got paranoid that someone, anyone, could follow me home. In reverse - if I go to someone's house (not hotel), *I* know where they live! If someone was out to harm me, would they really spend two months chatting me up on here, then arrange to go ahead with their wicked plan in their very home? What are the chances of that happening? The only precaution I take now that I didn't to begin with is that I don't tell online people my name. It is too unusual and while my net presence is low, there still are some results to be garnered. I had a guy boast to my friend that he'd seen pictures of me and my children - that's just creepy (the boasting, not the searching). For this reason, people that start off with "Hi, I'm Guy/Girl" and expect or press for me to reciprocate get mildly ignored.
Some great ideas in this topic, hope they are helping Dee. As suggested by others I rely on peoples site rep, profile comments, friends list and their willingness to be open and cam or phone chat very soon after initial contact. I have never felt afraid for my safety (6ft, slightly crazy look in my eyes and a face that has obviously taken a few whacks - easier targets out there) but I have met a small number of very odd people and felt uncomfortable at times, they are probably typing the same thing about me as we speak :grin: I wonder if there could be a way to tweak the sites SHRep meeting function to add more details, a trusted friend or even the police to be sent an email or text alert if the meeting is not confirmed as 'concluded safely' by a certain time..... It could also be good to add 'personal details verified' as well as photo verification to the site, this could be done without anyone one seeing the details in public but would reassure that they have sent proof of ID / Shown photo ID and address details to an OP in chatroom and these are kept on a secure database. Anything which gives people (not just the girls ;) ) more confidence to play in the knowledge they are safe would be good in my opinion. We also need to try and keep our fears in perspective, you are much more likely to be in an accident, attacked, injured or robbed on the way to a meet than you are by the person you are meeting (depending on the area!), but as with the fear of flying I know statistics are of little comfort to cautious and nervous people! You are 100% right to make every effort to improve both your safety and peace of mind, if you are ever want my assistance in anything like this Dee then just ask, it would be my pleasure to help xx :thumbup:
Quote by dee_licious Help my thread got hijacked Okay.......tries again. 1st meet out of the way.....things go well. 2nd meet.........a nice discreet place for rampant sex. Who do i tell where im going and what im up to I know i could give my number to some friends from SH but im discreet :high-smile: dee x
1st meet public place 2nd meet rampant sex and invite ya twin sister to join in :bounce:
O.K my experiences so far.. 1. Do not get pissed and meet a woman selling sex for pleasure on a wintry night when you have left a nightclub. Her male friends showed up and asked me to get into a car - I would not, but they escorted me to a cash machine and I ended up taking £400 out, they said they had a gun! 2. Keep your phone handy - please find a friend, a friend off here or someone in the communinity (or the police?) you can call if things get a little threating. Even if it's your parents (got forbid!) best have someone to call if things get strange. 3. Follow the other advice - meet in a public place first/at a club to prevent it getting strange. Whenever I meet a woman at her own house for a first time meet, I do wonder what she is doing (but that's just me.) Sorry went of track with my no. 1.
Hi Dee, safety is something which has been mentioned many times in the forum. There are a few simple rules which should always be adhered to. As mentioned in earlier responses, always meeting in a public place is very useful ... you might wish to check out that there are cctv cameras recording your visit. Never get into a car without first recording the registration number ... or texting reg. no. to a friend if it's more relevant. As with hotel meets or meets at the other person's home you should also record details, and let the other party know that you're doing so. Never (sounds silly when I say it here) go into a room, address, or vehicle which isn't the one you've recorded details for. You never have to stay .... if you begin to feel uneasy, for whatever reason, probably just trusting your instincts, then leave. You can apologise later, just go.
Quote by Katniss Help my thread got hijacked Okay.......tries again. 1st meet out of the way.....things go well. 2nd meet.........a nice discreet place for rampant sex. Who do i tell where im going and what im up to I know i could give my number to some friends from SH but im discreet :high-smile: dee x
1st meet public place 2nd meet rampant sex and invite ya twin sister to join in :bounce: :bounce: back at ya Well we did meet in a public place the first time. Roll on the second meet
Quote by dee_licious Help my thread got hijacked Okay.......tries again. 1st meet out of the way.....things go well. 2nd meet.........a nice discreet place for rampant sex. Who do i tell where im going and what im up to I know i could give my number to some friends from SH but im discreet :high-smile: dee x
1st meet public place 2nd meet rampant sex and invite ya twin sister to join in :bounce: :bounce: back at ya Well we did meet in a public place the first time. Roll on the second meet you always be safe with me kinky twin sis I carry a double ender to bosh fellas over the head with if they get out of order ;)
Quote by Katniss Help my thread got hijacked Okay.......tries again. 1st meet out of the way.....things go well. 2nd meet.........a nice discreet place for rampant sex. Who do i tell where im going and what im up to I know i could give my number to some friends from SH but im discreet :high-smile: dee x
1st meet public place 2nd meet rampant sex and invite ya twin sister to join in :bounce: :bounce: back at ya Well we did meet in a public place the first time. Roll on the second meet you always be safe with me kinky twin sis I carry a double ender to bosh fellas over the head with if they get out of order ;) :lol: love ya kat......have a good day xx
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how very dare you 