Rape fantasy!

27 Jun 2006

Quote by
Yes, I fully take onboard the fact that it is Fantasy and that men may be reluctant to admit to their part in the fantasy for social reasons. Since there in no hard evidence, and no men willing to 'confess' to their part in such a fantasy we will not be able to go to deeply into the male side.

Ian isn't reluctant to admit anything but the loss of control he does for me, my benifit because I like that feeling so I've replied.
He couldn't see anything he could add to what I have previously said rolleyes

Quote by
For myself, forcing or pretending to force is reserved for offenders not victims. Victims, real or imagined, it make no difference.

Maybe I need another cuppa but unsure I get that, sorry confused

When you pretend to force someone, for me anyway. I am not a victim, Ian is not an offender, he is play acting something that suits me. I've consented to a situation so how can I be a victim or him an offender :?
For him it bears no resemblance to commiting a crime. I put myself into to the situation by choice, I want to be held down, insulted, forced into sex or whatever else takes my fancy at the time.
Ian could never consider doing that to anyone else but me. He probably would never know another person as he knows me and loss of control would never come up. Ian would be worried about frightening someone or causing pain and he could never do that to someone else. He knows my pain levels, they have grown as we have grown as a couple, its not something you can suddenly do with someone you have just met :roll:

27 Jun 2006

dawn_mids :thumbup:

27 Jun 2006

Quote by Dawn_Mids
I am not a victim, Ian is not an offender, he is play acting something that suits me. I've consented to a situation so how can I be a victim or him an offender
For him it bears no resemblance to commiting a crime. I put myself into to the situation by choice, I want to be held down, insulted, forced into sex or whatever else takes my fancy at the time.

Thank you Dawn - All I want to say regarding what you have said is EXACTLY!!!
Offender, victim? rolleyes

:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

27 Jun 2006

Thanks ladies redface

I do worry about things coming across in text the way I want them to so I'm so pleased you understand me.
kiss

splendid33
:kiss: Kiss_Me

27 Jun 2006

Quote by Dawn_Mids
Yes, I fully take onboard the fact that it is Fantasy and that men may be reluctant to admit to their part in the fantasy for social reasons. Since there in no hard evidence, and no men willing to 'confess' to their part in such a fantasy we will not be able to go to deeply into the male side.

Ian isn't reluctant to admit anything but the loss of control he does for me, my benifit because I like that feeling so I've replied.
He couldn't see anything he could add to what I have previously said rolleyes

Quote by
For myself, forcing or pretending to force is reserved for offenders not victims. Victims, real or imagined, it make no difference.

Maybe I need another cuppa but unsure I get that, sorry confused

When you pretend to force someone, for me anyway. I am not a victim, Ian is not an offender, he is play acting something that suits me. I've consented to a situation so how can I be a victim or him an offender :?
For him it bears no resemblance to commiting a crime. I put myself into to the situation by choice, I want to be held down, insulted, forced into sex or whatever else takes my fancy at the time.
Ian could never consider doing that to anyone else but me. He probably would never know another person as he knows me and loss of control would never come up. Ian would be worried about frightening someone or causing pain and he could never do that to someone else. He knows my pain levels, they have grown as we have grown as a couple, its not something you can suddenly do with someone you have just met :roll:
Again - I can add no more than what Dawn's already said.
(Does this count as speaking up) dunno

Ian

27 Jun 2006

Im not going to get into the debate going on... (me head hurts too much to do any justice to this thread)...a lot of how I feel has already been said quite well by others. Great thread topic by the way!!! Very emotive subject....
Slight change to the subject but I saw this today and wondered if it woud ever catch on?

Took me a while to work out exactly what it was and how it worked....
xanaisx

28 Jun 2006

Quote by Dawn_Mids
..................

For myself, forcing or pretending to force is reserved for offenders not victims. Victims, real or imagined, it make no difference.

Maybe I need another cuppa but unsure I get that, sorry confused

When you pretend to force someone, for me anyway. I am not a victim, Ian is not an offender, he is play acting something that suits me. I've consented to a situation so how can I be a victim or him an offender :?
For him it bears no resemblance to commiting a crime. I put myself into to the situation by choice, I want to be held down, insulted, forced into sex or whatever else takes my fancy at the time.
Ian could never consider doing that to anyone else but me. He probably would never know another person as he knows me and loss of control would never come up. Ian would be worried about frightening someone or causing pain and he could never do that to someone else. He knows my pain levels, they have grown as we have grown as a couple, its not something you can suddenly do with someone you have just met rolleyes

Thank you for your input. My above reference was to my life in general, not just to the fantasy. It was to real offenders I was referring and my lack of ability to pretend violence. Perhaps like de-sade I have got to close to the 'real thing'.

28 Jun 2006

So many people talking at cross purposes.
So many people assuming what appears to be polarised views on the same subject but which are in fact perfectly reasonable views on different subjects.
I think it's about time we let this fraught little area close over and heal don't you think?
I'm not criticising the reason for starting it - it was perfectly valid but as soon as it went into starburst mode it was doomed - I tell ye - doomed!
You watch 50 people will want to start debating it again now!!

28 Jun 2006

what's 'starburst mode'? dunno

and , although it's going round in circles a tad now, as threads go, this is probably one of the most interesting, albeit highly emotive, sensible adult discussions we've had for a good while - lots of oppinion without false 'nicey niceyness'. Its a shame some more of the guys havent contributed, but hey, you cant have it all :thumbup:

28 Jun 2006

There is no reason why this thread should be locked. As Darky has said, this has been one of the most interesting threads we've had for a long time. We should have more of them.
Mal
wink

28 Jun 2006

Wasn't suggesting it be locked - just thought it was dizzy for going 'round in circles and had got a bit tetchy that's all.
Will come back then as I've more to say but wasn't sure it was worth it.
Starburst mode confused

- a state when so many different ideas and views are being expressed on a lot of slightly different topics that it's virtually impossible to follow one idea. Sorry - it just seemed like a good word to express what I meant! smile

28 Jun 2006

Quote by Mal
There is no reason why this thread should be locked. As Darky has said, this has been one of the most interesting threads we've had for a long time. We should have more of them.

Yes we should. This is probably the most indepth discussion I have ever taken part in, normally I am not brave enough to make personal comments on the forum. I'm worried I'm going to make a fool out of myself or come across in the wrong way..
I think its been excellent to look at such an emotive with such honesty and hope I'm brave enough to take on the next one biggrin

28 Jun 2006

its clear that its about control, giving and taking, or not as the case maybe, but as its a control thing, is the word used just to pigeonhole it using a vague description?

28 Jun 2006

Quote by essex34m
its clear that its about control, giving and taking, or not as the case maybe, but as its a control thing, is the word used just to pigeonhole it using a vague description?

Nail on the head there hun :thumbup: From reading the posts on here, I don't think for one moment that the people who indulge and enjoy this sort of 'controlled ravishing' ( sorry couldn't think of another way of putting it dunno

) would even think about carrying it out for real. Like using the term f*ck buddy, which has also been discussed on here recently, until another acceptable term for this fantasy act is found and widely used then it will always be unfairly misinterpreted by some.

28 Jun 2006

how's about I throw another one into the discussion, give it a little... direction?
Let's be clear though that the majority do not like the term ' fantasy' - it gives a perception that we're talking about forced, non consentual abuse, and I think we've established that those who are willing to admit such fantasies and some having played them out all agree that it really isnt like that, and that safe loss of control play can really only be done between known and trusted partners....
so, what about the concept of 'forced orgasm'?
one of the areas of loss of control play that fascinates me is how, particularly within the Dom/sub scene, orgasm can be 'forced' - usually on here we talk of being relaxed with a partner and bringing each other to orgasm as a mutually pleasurable thing, where the build up is usually slow and steady and the climax of 'events'.....
i've experimented in the past with someone who, quite literally, could 'make' me orgasm at will - even if my head said No not yet, my body gave in first. A (by consent, of course) 'you are going to cum for me wether you like it or not and I'm gonna make you do it ' type role play/ loss of control play.
Usually we can control orgasm (picturing something in your head to put you off, move slightly, 'sqeeze in' , whatever) most people (i think) usually cum if they 'allow' the build up, are ready for it, need the release etc - but its as much controlled by our heads as the physical feeling.....
so, i'm interested to see if anyone else has heard of it, done it, fantasised about it (or maybe you'll all think i'm completely off my trolley lol

) not sure i've explained what i mean too well though dunno

28 Jun 2006

Don't worry Darkfire I understood all you said!
I love taking part in forced orgasm play. I sometimes see it as a personal challenge! lol

I had a gf that couldn't help herself - anytime - anyplace - and she told me that she enjoyed me having that power over her sexually.
I have often had fantasies about playing this game with a man - having him tied up and bringing him to orgasm orally but he tries not to cum!
Anyway plenty more thoughts on this matter but I should be working - not getting myself all horny! wink

28 Jun 2006

me and cee were shocked to see the fantasy room in the chatrooms.
i believe it is a case of one not thinking before leaping in situations like this. we noticed that the room capacity was quiite high at one point, why i dont know because we didnt go near it.
also the people in the room must have shared the same fantasy as it wouldnt be a room you wud just accidently go into or go into for a nose, and i dont know how anyone else feels on here but there has to be that element of trust and feeling safe with prospective partners you may meet, how the hell could you feel safe and trust that person(s) meeting someone from a fantasy room!!!!!!!!!
just my personal opinion. mad

28 Jun 2006

actually, i think some people might do just that - drop in for a nosey. I've been known to frequent the bareback room for 'entertainment value' and kinda sit there a bit chin on floor at some of the conversations taking place :shock: lol

The danger is when 'nosey' turns to curiosity and some bright spark decides that meeting a stranger from the chatrooms to 'have a go' is a good idea :scared: or worse, can be 'talked into' it.
To be honest when this thread first started, within a couple of posts I was a bit like 'well, why the hell are we discussing the very same subject in here' - but , forum being what it is, it's discussion not opportunity or putting 'this is perfectly acceptable chit chat / activity between people who have no idea who they're talking to / dealing with' ideas in people's heads, I hope.

28 Jun 2006

Quote by westerross

Is your point that someone may enjoy the ' ' aspect too much and try it for real?

I guess that's the ultimate scenario I'm posing the question about. Thanks..
don't know if it's a bit late to drag this up from page 6, but hey ho! ;)
tune, if there ever was that kind of link, i suspect it would be the other way round? i don't think fantasy / role playing leads to violent tendencies, but it may be that for some, violent tendencies influence their role-playing?
for example, i don't think you'd say that say that someone who enjoys playing naughty-schoolgirls would go on to develop paedophilic tendencies, but it could be that someone with paedophilic tendencies acts them out in his fantasy play? the tendency is there before the acting out of that tendency?

Quote by Darkfire
Funny how there's not been one bloke post yet along those lines.... - its not the most socially acceptable of fantasies is it!

darkfire, i wouldn't have a problem admitting that, if it was of any interest to me, because i know that the defining characteristic of role-play is that it's consensual. it could not be further from actual in that respect, and you shouldn't read anything into an admission of -fantasy, from a man or a woman?
but . . . . it's not something i can ever see myself playing, cos it goes against everything i've been taught? i make a crap dom, cos that kind of domination is just not in my nature, even in imagination? even though i know -fantasy has nothing to do with , it's still a little bit too close for me to be able to disconnect my abhorrance of anything whatsoever related?
neil x x x ;)

28 Jun 2006

Yes DF I DO think you're off your trolley hunni but I still understand what you mean ( now that's disturbing ! confused

)
I have an 'intimate' friend who, I have to admit, gets me moist just being in the same room and he sometimes does use that power over my senses to give me the most amazing orgasms :crazy: It could be something as simple as whispering naughty things into my ear while he has his hand down my pants or pushing me against the wall and taking me there and then ( not in public I hasten to add rolleyes

though there's a thought :twisted: )
I have used that on him too, with fantastic results wink

though as with 'controlled ravishing' ( my new name for fantasy :wink: ) it's not something I would indulge in unless I was completely at ease and comfortable with the person I was indulging with.

28 Jun 2006

Quote by Darkfire
so, what about the concept of 'forced orgasm'?
one of the areas of loss of control play that fascinates me is how, particularly within the Dom/sub scene, orgasm can be 'forced'
.....
so, i'm interested to see if anyone else has heard of it, done it, fantasised about it (or maybe you'll all think i'm completely off my trolley ) not sure i've explained what i mean too well though

Yes, been there, was subjected to that and hated myself for it afterwards. Forcing orgasms is so cold compared with being made love to regardless of the outcome.
Forcing an orgasm out of a girl is like forcing her to get drunk - where is the fun in that?
:dunno:

29 Jun 2006

As you will have gathered my now I am at a loss to understand the fun in this

Quote by SS
'controlled ravishing'

, but now I think I understand.
When I was at school we would run around pointing my finger and shouting bang. Then we would argue about who was dead and should fall over. Since then I have been close to death at least four times and seen it in others. It is cold, it is empty and there is no argument over who should fall over. There is no long any fun in playing.
I have also seen the after effects of sexual violence. Like wise there is no fun in the fantasy.
As for those of you who do find pleasure in the game, I envy you. I envy you your innocence, may you never loss it.
Know I am going off to start a new post something like my favorite flower is....

29 Jun 2006

Quote by Tania
Yes, been there, was subjected to that and hated myself for it afterwards. Forcing orgasms is so cold compared with being made love to regardless of the outcome.
Forcing an orgasm out of a girl is like forcing her to get drunk - where is the fun in that?

Just my perspective, of course, but... being made love to? :scared: ..... in the swinging scene?? :scared: sod that . (but maybe its a 'terminology' problem again????:dunno smile

and,
Fun?? comes from playing with someone you know, trust and knows you & your body inside out and is able (because you allow him) to have that level of sexual power over you :dunno:
its 'fun' because you've taught him/ learnt together which buttons to press and how :dunno:
Tania , when you speak of being 'subjected to' & hating yourself for it, I really dont think we're talking about the same thing here.
I'm gonna come back to this when I can word it in an understandable way lol

- I know what I'm on about but explaining it here is a bit more of a challenge than I thought :doh:

29 Jun 2006

Quote by
I have also seen the after effects of sexual violence. Like wise there is no fun in the fantasy.
As for those of you who do find pleasure in the game, I envy you. I envy you your innocence, may you never loss it.

What makes you think that because people may enjoy these kinds of 'games' that they are 'innocent'. I'm going to be very blunt here and say that I have suffered a horrific sexual experience. Yes it effected me for a time but why should I let that person still have power over me? I see my own sexual liberation as freedom from that time. I'm not innocent - I'm healed.

29 Jun 2006

I've never experienced a 'forced orgasm' but I'm willing to give it a go! However the same ground rules would apply - it wouldn't work with just anyone - it would have to be someone I trusted implicately - it would be with my consent. You may then say that it's not 'forced', I really don't want to bicker over semantics, suffice to say agreeing to it in principle and having no control over the time and the place or the situation would class as forced to me.
Tania I find your comments quite worrying and agree with Dark that you are talking about something quite different, and as Dark says (wise woman, that DF) the swinging environment is no place to be 'making love' (unless you discover a connection with a partner with whom you're swinging - but then surely it stops being swinging and becomes a relationship?)
H.x

29 Jun 2006

Quote by Kiss_Me
I have also seen the after effects of sexual violence. Like wise there is no fun in the fantasy.
As for those of you who do find pleasure in the game, I envy you. I envy you your innocence, may you never loss it.

What makes you think that because people may enjoy these kinds of 'games' that they are 'innocent'. I'm going to be very blunt here and say that I have suffered a horrific sexual experience. Yes it effected me for a time but why should I let that person still have power over me? I see my own sexual liberation as freedom from that time. I'm not innocent - I'm healed.
:thumbup:
Exactly the way my friend with a similar experience feels. Her innocence was abruptly stolen.

29 Jun 2006

Quote by Kiss_Me
I have also seen the after effects of sexual violence. Like wise there is no fun in the fantasy.
As for those of you who do find pleasure in the game, I envy you. I envy you your innocence, may you never loss it.

What makes you think that because people may enjoy these kinds of 'games' that they are 'innocent'. I'm going to be very blunt here and say that I have suffered a horrific sexual experience. Yes it effected me for a time but why should I let that person still have power over me? I see my own sexual liberation as freedom from that time. I'm not innocent - I'm healed.
:thumbup: for what you have said. I lost my "innocence" a lot younger and over a longer period of time than I care to dwell on or can even be bothered to look at.... my fantasies and sexual pleasure are totally different.
passionkiss

cos you are just bloody wonderful
worship

for the healing....
whip

get your flippin arse oop north now.....!
splendid x x x x

29 Jun 2006

Lots of good points raised in this very interesting thread - thanks to all who have contributed for a damn good read.
I guess there is a big issue around the meaning of ' fantasy'. I have no problem with people wanting to play victim, or those willing to help them live out their fantasy, and absolutley no tolerance whatsoever for people who fantasise about committing an illegal, non-consensual act.
Personally, having flirted with the BDSM scene, it seems I have a lot more tolerance for fantasy play than most, so I think that some of the negative reaction to fantasies seen on this thread is more a fear of the unknown than a fear of the practices themselves.
I've taken part in this sort of thing from both sides, to a mild extent, and it can be immensely pleasureable, as long as everyone knows it's the 'play victim's' fantasy that is being acted out and not the 'play attacker's' fantasy.
Further down the road, are consensual acts that involve strangers. I'm not offended or repulsed by the idea of wanting to involve strangers, getting rid of all the emotional baggage involved and concentrating on the pure physicality of the act is something that attracts me.
I find it odd that people here accept the idea of sex with strangers at swinging clubs, and the idea of fantasy play with trusted partners, but don't accept the idea of fantasy play with strangers. Isn't this exactly the sort of intolerance to sexual freedom we all object to from the vanilla world?

30 Jun 2006

Quote by H-x
Tania I find your comments quite worrying and agree with Dark that you are talking about something quite different, and as Dark says (wise woman, that DF) the swinging environment is no place to be 'making love' (unless you discover a connection with a partner with whom you're swinging - but then surely it stops being swinging and becomes a relationship?)
H.x

Sorry I thought we were discussing all kinds of sexual relationships, not just swinging. Anyway, forced orgasms are very humiliating - degrading even, but that is only my opinion, it is not the holy gospel.

30 Jun 2006

I'm still trying to write my contribution to this thread. Have been for a few days :doh:
(although I'll probably not post it in the end)
But in the meantime . . . . .
wtf is a forced orgasm ??????