Quote by Lovecommando
Recently I received a PM from Marcuso the organizer of the Notts post-munch party. It reads as follows:
Hi LC.
I've been asked to take your name off the list for the after munch party.
I'm really sorry to have to tell you like this, but there's never an easy way.
Will buy you a pint at the munch to try to make it up to you.
Marcuso
I was surpried by this coming out of the blue like that and wondered if it had anything to do with the post munch party I had attended in the NE (as it turned out I was correct in assuming this, as you shall see). I responded with a request:
Quote by Lovecommando
Dear Marcuso
Is there a particular reason for this? I understand this might be awkward for you to give the reason. Have I offended anyone for example?
Regards
LC
Marcuso's reply is as follows:
Quote by bi_curious_man123
I can't really give you a reason as it would betray the trust of the people that have asked me to take you off the list, but hope you enjoy the munch anyway
Marcuso
Now at this point my mind went into paranoid overdrive. Who were these people (or person) who did not wish me to be at the party? Above all, what had I done that had made them decide they did not require my presence? Was this anything to do with the party I had attended in the NE? Or was it nothing to do with that, was it do do with some grudge someone held against me? I really couldn't figure it out! If it was anything to do with the NE party then I had no idea. The party had gone well, except for the fact that I lost my moblie phone somewhere and couldn't figure out where or when it had gone missing (ok, I'd had a few drinks). The following day I left, said farewell to everyone and I believed all were on good terms. So it couldn't be anything to do with those people who had attended, could it? So what and who the hell was it?
Then I began to think that others would wonder why I had been dropped from the list. That I would have no reasonable excuse to offer them. Then the thought that others would find out the reasons, yet I would have no knowledge of what was being said behind my back. And if people did not find out the reasons then they would start to speculate. It occurred to me that I may not get invited to other parties because of what was being said about me or because of what I had supposedly done! I needed to know the answers and wrote back to Marcuso.
Quote by Lovecommando
Dear Marcuso
Well I am most upset at this turn of events. I really feel I should be given a reason as I have no way of defending myself. I guess you will not disclose who has had me removed from the list but I feel they should face me and try to sort out whatever issues they have instead of behaving in this underhand way. I'm sure you'll understand why I feel this way.
Regards
LC
The following day Marcuso wrote back to me with a fuller explanation. Here is the denouement:
Quote by bi_curious_man123
Hi LC
Sorry you are upset at the way things have turned out.....Maybe I could have worded the original message a little me try again.........I have now spoken to a few people who were at the party. Some mentioned that most joined in with the conversations and messing around etc except for you. It was also mentioned that there was concern that you didn't bring any alcohol with you, or contribute in any way.
In the PM I sent out about the party it was stated that it would be a bring-a-bottle party. As the party was being held at the house of a single parent who is also a student, I'm sure you will agree that there should have been some contributions by everyone.
I have the final say over who comes to the party and if you feel that you should fall out with anyone then that person should be me.I sincerely hope you won't fall out with me, as I hate the thought of anyone falling out, but I feel that this time, it's better that you don't come to the party.
I hope you take this in the way it's meant. And the offer of buying you a pint at the munch still stands.
Take care
Marcuso
Well at last I had the reasons and it was something of a relief to know that I had not committed some kind of swinging faux pas. I wrote several PMs back to Marcuso, covering the points raised which I shall give here.
Firstly, I did 'bring a bottle' to the party in the form of a bottle of Los Clavels white wine which I bought at M&S. I recall handing it to the party hostess and we had some problem getting it into the fridge as it was very full. Taking drink to parties is a given and I don't need reminders by PM to do this. I always take drink with me to parties let it be known.
As it happens I believe that the bottle of Los Clavells was not opened at the party and remained in the fridge. I did not check on the day I left, but if it was still in the fridge I left it there with the intention that the party hosts would enjoy it on another occasion.
Secondly, as regards not contributing '"in any way". Not sure what is meant here? Let me say this though. I am generally a quiet and shy person, not always, but often. I'm an introvert by nature and I tend not to 'join in' if I don't feel like it. I find a room full of people intimidating sometimes and tend to sit quietly and let others get on with it. Yes, maybe I had been a bit subdued, unlike others. The fact that I had lost my mobile phone preoccupied my mind and certainly put me in a down mood. Nevertheless I did join in with the conversations with the people I knew who were there.
I think it is unfair to judge anyone on the basis that they did not join in with party games or whatever. I believe that in swinging circles or at any other party for that matter it is a given that there is 'no obligation to play'. I feel this issue is the most hurtful as I feel that I have been unfairly judged on my personality and purely on the basis of one evening. I will not pretend to be something or someone just because it is expected of me. I am who I am and I expect people to respect that, as I respect others for the same reasons. It's not too much to ask, is it? I was given to believe that the mood here at SH one one of acceptance of peoples differences, no matter what they are, as long as you respect other people for who they are then you can expect the same. For the most part, the people here are in accordance with that belief and this is what gives this site its strength. If you cannot do this, then I ask, why are you here?
Finally the reasons I have gone public with these issues is so that my voice is heard. If people are spreading rumours about me that I don't 'contribute' at parties 'in any way', then these are totaly unfounded and predjudiced accusations. I have no idea if these slurs on my character were going to go no further than those involved. However I cannot take that chance and I that is why feel I must address these issues publicly.
LC
Well in answer to all this then I can only blame myself for not explaining things totally from the start.
As everyone knows I am as open and honest as the day is I “WILL†try to answer every person who has posted on the thread in an open and honest way too. I have actually been online from tonight after having this thread pointed out to me and have agonised over replying to it, but feel I have to have my say over this matter
Please read on and see what I have to say and answer if you feel it approppriate.
BTW LC………..I thought a PM was called that because it was a “Private†message
Obviously PRIVATE doesn’t mean exactly that……………..but I’m not about to quibble over it
Quote by steveg_nw
Well I was at the NE after munch party and never noticed anything untoward by anybody.......at all!! I don't understand why anybody would say that you didn't join in because it was mostly a social affair and apart from the few conversations that were going on there was nothing to join in with.
Yes I agree you're a quiet guy Lovecommando but then again so am I. I'd hate to think that somebody could be thought ill of for not being the life and soul of a party otherwise I'd never get invited anywhere.
I thought you were fine mate. I've no idea what or who's behind what's happened but I'd be quite happy to invite you along again.
Steve
Please see the final few posts Steve…………and I believe there has been another post since I posted last so I will answer that one too
Quote by bluexxx
LC, I am very glad you have decided to go public with this. As I was not at the same party that this series of "problems" arose I cannot comment on those. However, I can vouch for your behaviour at my party last month. You behaved in every way (to my knowledge at least) like a perfect gentleman throughout the party. You spent a good couple of hours with us before the party as your train was early. You offered to help me organise things before the party, and although everything was more or less sorted before you arrived the offer was noted as being a polite gesture. You did not know us and we did not know you yet you made an effort to make conversation and Satin and I both thought that you were a polite, all round nice guy (sorry if that sounds patronising in any way!). You brought two bottles of wine with you, one for the party and one for my own pleasure as it was my birthday. I believe I remember you offering to get more if it was needed? (it wasn't, we had plenty!). Throughout the party you continued to be polite and a full participant in the activities. The following morning I believe you offered to help me tidy away the debris from the night before - mainly condoms and bottles - ewwww!I had absolutely no problem with you in any way, and I would gladly let you stay over for Satin's party if you would like to stay. If there had been any problem with your behaviour at all at my party I would not offer this again.
I have no idea what the truth of this very strange tale is, but what I can't understand is the way it has been handled. Maybe I am speaking out of turn here, but I feel that the person/people who had the problem with LC in the first place should have confronted him personally at the time. To me it seems cowardly and childish to have approached the situation in this way. At very least LC deserved a full explanation from the beginning.
I am not saying that LC wasn’t well behaved etc………and I’m also not saying he I should have offered a full explanation from the start and I have also said that I am sorry for that…….. I’m not trying to fall out with anyone at all by answering each message in this way……..just trying to sort it all out and do so in a way that will leave all feeling ok
Quote by GenHertsCpl
Oooo I hate things like this, it undermines the friendly and good natured structure of these forums.
It does worry me thou as my hubby and I are fairly quiet at times until the right moment arises (yes i can be dancing on the bar with my knickers on my head along with the rest of em), but would this cause problems at future events? Would this make us appear unapproachable, i hope not!
Im sure you are a gentleman LC, maybe this is a case of chinese whispers or some misinterpreted conversation?
Hope this is all sorted soon hun :rose:
Trying to answer everyone
Quote by Libra-Love
LC
That's awful.
The question now would be....
Do you really want to be with people who will have you pulling knives out of your back?
Please don’t judge till everyone has had chance to answer
Quote by Steve_Lincs
I'm left very dumbfounded by this as when we met you,you were a genuinly nice bloke.I find it very bad that people would be like this to a fellow muncher.
If we were holding the party we wouldnt try and stop you coming,but we arent which is a shame.
I hope this hasnt left you in any way stuck or not wanting to come to the munch.
That has NEVER been my intention if I thought he was stuck then I would offer to pay for a hotel for him myself………….I am just trying to answer the thread in defense of myself and everyone else involved
Quote by iain_nw
Hey LC...I don't know you personally and I haven't attended a munch as yet...but I have read your contributions to the forums and you seem an all round decent kinda guy to me...good luck in getting this sorted mate
Hoping it’s sorted now
Quote by shireen-steve
Well I'm gobsmacked..... :shock:
I have never met you but can hazard a guess at you being a very thoughtful and articulate man from reading your posts....
I agree with Libra-Love, best stick to being around people that haven't got any knives handy...
Shireen
xxx
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by bluexxx
I would just like to add that I believe that parties are there for people to enjoy themselves in their own way..... At my party, and at Satin's to come, I would not want to people have felt obliged to join in with anything they didn't want to - either sexual or social. Some people are naturally reserved and should not feel that they should have to be a total extrovert to be liked! Believe it or not, I am quite a shy person until I get to know people and sometimes I come across as very quiet. Other times I am loud and outgoing, it all depends on the situation and how comfortable I feel with the people there. I would feel very uncomfortable indeed if I felt that I was EXPECTED to behave in a certain way to be liked! Satin is also quite a shy person til he gets to know people and if anyone could have seen how nervous he was before he went to his first munch you will know what I mean! I think judging someone just cos they're quiet is more and more distasteful the more I think about it. The fact that LC lost his phone probably didn't help but come on folks, give us all a break.... is this really enough of a reason to ban someone from a party???? I got my phone stolen at a club last year and I probably was not a barrel of laughs at all... I was gutted cos I lost a load of work numbers... Anyways, that's beside the point.... the pont is, this is judgemental in its extreme. At Satin's party, it won't matter if you're quiet or loud, we will make you welcome and try our best to make you feel at home and at ease. If you want to go and chill out on your own for a bit you won't be thought badly of! If you want to just watch and have a laugh, that is fine too. Swinging is about trust, respecting other people's diversity and being grown up about issues that may arise along the way. Now I really have said enough.... I never know when to shut up but I am pretty annoyed about this!
u get my vote after meeting u at blues party and will look 4ward to meeting u again at blues
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by tallnhairy
LC, you have always come across as a great bloke, and the eloquence of your post in defence here underlines how much of a decent chap you are. Then again I wasn't even invited (no real surprise there) but the way you were blown hot n cold is frankly just plain wrong, you deserve an unreserved apology IMHO.
I really hope you go to the munch as one of the sites old hands (I mean that in a positive way) I was hoping to meet you along with a number of others, if the other posts on here are anything to go by you would be badly missed.
Please still go mate, don't let anyone get you down...
I am not trying to “get him down†and I have already apologised…….I can’t do any more than that
Quote by bluexxx
Oh one more thing while I'm on a roll (come on I might as well have my FULL say!
OK, OK, maybe that's below the belt but it does beg the question!
Yes it would have been EXACTLY the same if he had been a woman (be it single or as part of a couple)…….I have been known to “name and shame†women in the chatroom for PVTing without asking exactly the same as I have for men PVTing without asking. And that is “on the record†for anyone that wants to check
Quote by bluexxx
Oh one more thing while I'm on a roll (come on I might as well have my FULL say!
OK, OK, maybe that's below the belt but it does beg the question!
I think we all know the answer to that one blue to be honest.... Which makes it all the more annoying....
Shireen
xxx
Obviously you don’t “KNOW†the answer , but I do believe in one rule covers all………and not just one rule for single males and one for the rest……………..being a single male myself I have to stick by the rules fastidiously
Quote by tallnhairy
Oh one more thing while I'm on a roll (come on I might as well have my FULL say!
OK, OK, maybe that's below the belt but it does beg the question!
I think we all know the answer to that one blue to be honest.... Which makes it all the more annoying....
Shireen
xxx
Agreed
Please see above tallnhairy
Quote by Clare_Lincs
LC all i can say is that im disgusted that youve been treated that have also let it be known that whoever has said this is NOT welcome at our munch anymore.
Please don't think about not coming to the munch,if your not there then we will be seriously gutted and i mean that.
When i met you at the last munch,you were a perfect gentleman,and dont let anything that whoever has said get you down,our judgements for you havent changed one little bit!
As I said in the original “PRIVATE†message to Lovecommando…..†I have the final say over who comes to the party and if you feel that you should fall out with anyone then that person should be
I really would like to still come to the munch, but as it’s your choice then I will go by your decision
Quote by bluexxx
Oh one more thing while I'm on a roll (come on I might as well have my FULL say!
OK, OK, maybe that's below the belt but it does beg the question!
OK LC I guess we've found the person to take it to the boxing ring for you ... now dare the other party stand up ? In the blue corner we have Bluexxx .....
....
for Bluexxx . Im sorry to laugh but your frustration is so obvious and is exactly how I feel right nowAs I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by MikeNorth
Hi Love Commando, you have all my sympathies. I have been to several munches, and will be there on Saturday, but I have not been to any of the parties. I don't think I ever want to go to any either, if some people are "evaluating" others on the quiet. It's worth emphasising to those who might not realise that the munches are entirely separate from any parties which are organised for afterwards. At least everyone can still be entirely at ease during the munch!
Mike.
I really do hope everyone will feel at ease Mike
Quote by Steve_Lincs
.We have also let it be known that whoever has said this is NOT welcome at our munch anymore.
And we mean let our feelings known and think it's fucking aweful to treat anyone like this
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by JudyTV
LC, I have met you at two different events, The NW Munch and at Blues Party. At the munch I had pre munch drinks with you and enjoyed your company and alter in the early hours of the morning 4 of us chatted until dawn, at blues party I met you again and when I heard about the accusations against you I was astounded at the way you have been treated. I now feel on principle I must reconsider my position with regard to attending this party. In my opinion all who were originally invited should attend including you. This is an outrageous state of affairs and is not in keeping with what I believe the ethos of this site is all about. You are welcome to come and have a drink with us after the munch, you don't need to bring anything except yourself. You have my support.
Hugs
Judy x
As has been said Judy……no-one has made any accusations except lovecommando himself
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Well I'm utterly gobsmacked :shock:
From what you've said there, I find it incredible that someone is refusing to attend a party with you there ......... because you're quiet :shock: And to feel they have the right to put a third person in the middle like that, it's extremely unfair on Marcuso.
It certainly makes me feel like I would definitely think twice about going to a party, as although I can be quite loud and fairly boisterous - I'm not one you will ever see on a dance floor or for party games etc. And I think that to expect everyone to be like that is preposterous!! This site is for anyone with a broadminded outlook, so people should expect a huge variety of people at events, not a load of clones!
LC I know you're a pretty sensitive guy, but please don't get down about this ok. Not gonna go on about how brill you are cos it would embarrass you and it's not why you put this thread up.
But you're brill
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by Clare_Lincs
Id just like to say that we will be having drinks in the hotel bar after the munch if anyone wants to join us,EVERYONE is welcome
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by corriefem
This is a difficult discussion to see in here.
I know LC having met him as a friend and am saddened by this. However the after munch party is a private party and it is up to the host who attends. What I feel is wrong is that LCs name was publicly on the after party list for a number of weeks before it was removed. This is maybe something that after munch organisers need to think about in the future. It is your right to decide who can come into your own homes but this will leave a sour taste for people who publicly put their names down in the lets meet up or cafe.
On the plus side, the munch IS the main event which is what everyone is going to (through clear selection criteria).
I hope this is sorted out in a way that does not mean anyone feels they are obliged to invite people that they dont wish to have at their own parties - that has to be personal choice of numbers at the end of the day. BUT if that is the case then people should get personal invites rather than going for public requests for people to attend and not giving clear selection criteria if you are told later you cant attend.
I am sorry this has gone public as I think Marcuso is also a really nice guy and would hate to see that anyone takes sides in what I think should have been a very private conversation.
I hope it gets sorted. I am aware that LC's name is down for Marcuso's own house party and is still there so this is NOT about Marcuso either.
Hear hear Corriefem and hopefully this thread can die a natural death now
Quote by Steve_Lincs
It's worth emphasising to those who might not realise that the munches are entirely separate from any parties which are organised for afterwards. At least everyone can still be entirely at ease during the munch!
Mike.
Thats too bloody right,weve tried to include as many as we can for the munch,and havent listened to certain people who have asked us not to let other people attend.
Hear hear Steve………..good on yer
Quote by maz
LC
As Judy has said, you are MORE than welcome to join us after the Munch, we could do the same as after the NW Munch and talk til dawn....
Alternatively we could think of something else to keep us entertained, come to think of it Judy did mention her make-up bag (sorry suitcase) needed sorting out.
Hugs mate
maz xxx
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by bluexxx
Oh one more thing while I'm on a roll (come on I might as well have my FULL say!
OK, OK, maybe that's below the belt but it does beg the question!
No its not at all Blue. Not that we will ever have the chance to attend a munch as they are held up north as a rule, but your question does bear merit!
I guess it all comes down to who was complaining really........
Silky xxxxxxxx
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by Marya
I certainly do not want to get involved in this argument - it's nothing to do with me for a start - but I would like to say, that regardless of the reasons, anyone having a party in the privacy of their own home should be well within their rights to revoke invitations as they see fit.
I've got no argument with Clare or Steve, either, but if you then revoke the Munch invite for the person/people concerned, aren't you then behaving in the very same manner you are condemning?
Hear Hear Marya…………hoping this one has actually been sorted now
Quote by johnneuk1hi lc
being new here ,and never been to munch or after party, I can look at this in totally neutral way,
you seem to have loads of support, so i take it your a nice guy
my advice would be too go to munch enjoy yourself as off yet none of your accuser,s
have been able to justify there actions
the genuine people there will make you welcome as for the rest are they worth knowing anyway?
doubt they will look you in the eye
feelings seem to be running high hope i dosn,t create a bad atmostphere and evey one enjoys themselves
thats my two pennys worth hope it makes sense to someone
I’m hoping that now it’s (hopefully) sorted that everyone can look each other in the eye and let things go on as they should do
Quote by Calista
as an aside ..... there seems to be a lot of people heading back to the hotel bar afterwards ... as they are a hotel they are entitled to keep the bar open as long as is required without needing an extension licence (as far as I am led to believe). Would it be worth warning them that there will be more than a handful of us, so they can adequately cover it.
They may say no we close at a certain time which they are within their rights to do also.
Just a thought ....
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by bluexxx
Yes, of course people have the right to invite whoever they want (or not, as the case may be) to their own houses and private parties. My problem with this is how it has been handled throughout. At the very least, LC should have been provided with the full facts of the matter by the person making the complaint - from the outset. Even if there was a genuine problem, the way it has been handled (through a 3rd party with reluctance to provide even an explanation at first!) has meant that the problem has been lost in translation. It reminds me of the way problems were solved in the playground and I am dissappointed that I have encountered this situation on swinging heaven.
As I said Blue………..hopefully things will be ok now and hopefully things have been sorted………………………………All I can do is apologise for not giving LC a full and frank explanation from the start
Quote by Clare_Lincs
Marya we don't want the person who has accused LC of this coming to the munch as we don't want accusations flying around after,its something that everyone can simply do without to be honest.
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by Calista
as an aside ..... there seems to be a lot of people heading back to the hotel bar afterwards ... as they are a hotel they are entitled to keep the bar open as long as is required without needing an extension licence (as far as I am led to believe). Would it be worth warning them that there will be more than a handful of us, so they can adequately cover it.
They may say no we close at a certain time which they are within their rights to do also.
Just a thought ....
Weve just phoned the hotel and the bar shuts at 2am
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by skegnessswingers
Thats too bloody right,weve tried to include as many as we can for the munch,and havent listened to certain people who have asked us not to let other people attend.
Damn!!!! You mean Neil and Christine Hamillton are coming after all????
LOL
Quote by Calista
as an aside ..... there seems to be a lot of people heading back to the hotel bar afterwards ... as they are a hotel they are entitled to keep the bar open as long as is required without needing an extension licence (as far as I am led to believe). Would it be worth warning them that there will be more than a handful of us, so they can adequately cover it.
They may say no we close at a certain time which they are within their rights to do also.
Just a thought ....
Weve just phoned the hotel and the bar shuts at 2am
oh well was worth a thought ;)
Will just have to bring some bottles with me :shock:
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by tallnhairy
Sniffle, I will be in the 'other' hotel so ba all on my lonesome... Unless someone wants to sneak me into the bar in the first hotel...
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by SXCouple
Well, this just about re-affirms why we haven't attended a social gathering off here before - be it a party or a munch.
I personally do not know any of you from adam - there are a few whom I seem to have a nice bit of banter with, and there are a couple of people who'd we'd certainly like to know better......
Seeing the state of some of the threads here recently and looking at what's been said in some of them - well, guess it's made our minds up for us.........
Sorry if its tarring a lot of people with the same brush, but there's enough shit in real life without having to put up with it in the pursuit of "fun".
Don't really care whether people want to jump down my throat about anything that I've said above. After all, we are all entitled to our opinion, and this is a "virtual world"......So, you're likely to only ever see us in the Chatroom (when I'm at work normally lol) or the occaisional message on here
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by tallnhairy
Sniffle, I will be in the 'other' hotel so ba all on my lonesome... Unless someone wants to sneak me into the bar in the first hotel...
I'm sure we can help there
as long as you promise to sneak this thread behind you so STeve_Lincs doesn't see I've not gone for a bath yet :shock:As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by WilmaFlintstone
How brave these people are to talk through a third party. Whatever happened to being honest and upfront?
Keep your chin up!
Love
Wilma
x x x x
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by tallnhairy
Sorry you feel that way SXCouple, true it is sad it needed a post like this, but hey it is clearing the air, making people think. In a lot of ways I think this post is showing one of SH's better sides, people coming together. There is a strong sense of community here, some have disagreed with the thread (not so much LC but the concepts discussed) However it is all passing in an adult, open way.
Sometimes these threads descend into personal insults (We are after all human beings) but here things have remained amicable. We have disagreed, but we have discussed like the adults most people are.
Sometimes these threads descend into personal insults……see the later ones for that………..lol
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by SXCouple
Well, this just about re-affirms why we haven't attended a social gathering off here before - be it a party or a munch.
I personally do not know any of you from adam - there are a few whom I seem to have a nice bit of banter with, and there are a couple of people who'd we'd certainly like to know better......
Seeing the state of some of the threads here recently and looking at what's been said in some of them - well, guess it's made our minds up for us.........
Sorry if its tarring a lot of people with the same brush, but there's enough shit in real life without having to put up with it in the pursuit of "fun".
Don't really care whether people want to jump down my throat about anything that I've said above. After all, we are all entitled to our opinion, and this is a "virtual world"......So, you're likely to only ever see us in the Chatroom (when I'm at work normally lol) or the occaisional message on here
I don't think posts like the one above help the situation, its just adding fuel to the fire. Life on SH is usually very smooth, however like life itself we each have good days and bad days. I have attended five munches and several other meets/parties and unless you do attend events then you really don't have enough to decide either way so please don't knock what you have never tried. Some SH events attract over 200 people so they cant all be wrong ..or can they? If you dont want to try it then fine but dont slag off events that give people a lot of pleasure.
Judy
Judy
Hear Hear everyone’s allowed an opinion eh??
Quote by easy_going_dude
LC, sorry to hear about your predicament and as I have not met you, or attended a munch, I cannot say much. But we're all adults and as so deserve to be treated like an adult. If the organiser is not prepared to tell you the reason, the person who has made their feelings known, should be honest enough to contact you directly to explain the reasons.
There are a good number of people supporting you and with this I hope you can take comfort in the fact that this person (or persons) are obviously in the minority.
...Or may be they see you as competition !
Chin up old boy, don't let it annoy you too much.
EGD
The organiser is just replying to this thread……….I came online at and am still trying to sort things and smooth things over…………….I would have much preferred to have been “playing†all this time, but feel I must vindicate myself
Quote by tallnhairy
Sorry you feel that way SXCouple, true it is sad it needed a post like this, but hey it is clearing the air, making people think. In a lot of ways I think this post is showing one of SH's better sides, people coming together. There is a strong sense of community here, some have disagreed with the thread (not so much LC but the concepts discussed) However it is all passing in an adult, open way.
Sometimes these threads descend into personal insults (We are after all human beings) but here things have remained amicable. We have disagreed, but we have discussed like the adults most people are.
I'm with the big furry chap!
gotta say guys (despite the fact you are all aduts anyway) you are talking in quite a mature manner.
I love a good discussion!
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by Ice Pie
In my opinion, if the organiser of a private party doesn't want your company, you are not entitled to an explanation, and you won't like the explanation if you get one, so why sweat it? I haven't been invited to any of these privately arranged things, which indicates to me that this munch is more cliquey than others I've been to, which is disappointing, but do you hear me demanding explanations?
Hear hear IcePie………and thank you for your support
BTW….I still owe you a cpl of pints of Stella for my “munch badgeâ€â€¦â€¦â€¦..lol
Quote by neilinleeds
LC already has my thoughts on this, and they'll stay in PM, but i hope this doesn't degenerate into personal argument behind the scenes and bad feeling all round. we want this munch to be a success, and stay as open and friendly as possible? what goes on afterwards is neither here nor there as far as the actual munch goes, and i'd be a little sad to see this have an effect on it.
in defence of Marcuso, if he's organizing the party, and has been asked to act as organiser by others, he's in an impossible position really. i'm making assumptions about who might have done the asking, leaving it to poor Marcuso to handle a tricky situation. just a thought.
neil x x x ;)
Feel I must make a full reply to this one neil
Really glad that things should stay in PM, and really glad that you don’t want things to “degenerateâ€
I must point out though that as the “organiser†I take full responsibility for the way that the party is run and who is invited etc and I do stand by what I have said
Having said that……… As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by Ice Pie
In my opinion, if the organiser of a private party doesn't want your company, you are not entitled to an explanation, and you won't like the explanation if you get one, so why sweat it? I haven't been invited to any of these privately arranged things, which indicates to me that this munch is more cliquey than others I've been to, which is disappointing, but do you hear me demanding explanations?
Ice this munch is in no means cliquey,everyone is welcome to the munch and the party has been advertised in the lets meet up section for anyone to put there names pm'ed you and said that your more than welcome to come to the hotel after the munch for a drink in the bar.
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by Eagerslut9
I enjoyed meeting and chatting with you at Blue's party LC.
I think you had no other option other than to go public in the Forum with this. Full marks to you.
The only person who needs to feel like shit about this is the one who didn't have the balls to stand up and be counted when they asked for you to be blackballed. I might think better of them if they had the decency to now go on public record about it, (but I doubt they will).
Looking forward to seeing you again at Satin's mate.
Please read on Eagerslut………think the publicannouncement has been I am not provoking trying to calm the waters
Quote by kinkyluton
been reading this tonight
ok i know i know none of you for adam...and i might come a cross silly on here
but i have seen from this there is alot of friendly people on here...
and i got to admit i agree with what people have said..would you want go to there after-party after they said that,,,stuff the people who dont want you to go..and stuff the people whos in charge of it...you probley was not wanted cause to good looking or somethink.......sorry for butting in like done well to show people how some are so shallow....
but its nice to see how many people think you are a nice person,,that talks for it seif
but if it was me on principle.i make my own munch on that day......
im sure you get on fine...good luck
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by Steve_Lincs
I really do hope that this doesnt affect people views on the munch put so much effort into trying to make it a success and don't want it to be spoiled by anything.
Remember that the munch is a total seperate entity to the party and is open to all that have been on here for a couple of months.
Hear Hear Steve………………we are getting off the subject of the munch………………I myself know how much effort goes into organising a munch and would in no way belittle everyones is a largely demanding and thankless task, but hopefully this little aside has in no way detracted from it in any way. I really hope it goes without a hitch and hope that after this message is made public that we can all go back to being “just usâ€
Quote by Clare_Lincs
Also we havent been invited to any cliquey gatherings either,i recon i really do smell
ERM……………..Not smelt you close up Clare…………..lol
Quote by Steve_Lincs
I really do hope that this doesnt affect people views on the munch put so much effort into trying to make it a success and don't want it to be spoiled by anything.
Remember that the munch is a total seperate entity to the party and is open to all that have been on here for a couple of months.
Except the person/people involved in Lovecommando-gate? I wonder how that might affect the many others who are staying at that house/ going to the party?
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by Ice Pie
the party has been advertised in the lets meet up section.
OK, fair enough, I wouldn't have known that because I almost never go in the meet up section.
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by MikeNorth
tallnhairy wrote:Sniffle, I will be in the 'other' hotel so ... all on my lonesome... Unless someone wants to sneak me into the bar in the first hotel...
I am also in "another" hotel very close by, but I have been assured that all of us are welcome in the bar of the "main" munchers' hotel.
Mike.
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by Debbiewebs
i am really sorry i am just speachless!.......yep cannot think what to say so i am definitely speechless!
yep i am
heres to ya a very speechless Debbiewebs :gagged:
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by shaz_41692
firstly may i say i have been out of the chatroom for quite a while due to snide comments coming from bi curious male as to "shit i caused" etc etc but as this has now come to light i would like to take this opportunity to have my say, as i have kept qt for long enuff thinkin that it was a one off, which it seems to me that this isnt. A few months back we went thru the same sort of thing with marcuso and as u will see below, i have kept the email which he sent. this was during his time as manager in another swinging community and with reference to a "do" which he was organising. we encountered alot of messing about and me bein me, did say to marcuso exactly what ii thoughjt of him (also as u will see from the email) well i will now post it and let u see for yourselves just what its like :
the first section is his original email sent to me, the second part my reply
Shaz
Stop making your little digs in the comm.
I, for one, am not impressed at all by them. You have a little dig whenever you can, I, however come straight to the point.
You have not, and will never wind me up, so all you are doing is wasting your time. I am an easy going person, who lets sleeping dogs lie. You, however seem to bear a grudge. If you had taken the time to let me explain why you didn't get an invite to the party at my house, instead of going off the deep end and taking things personally, then you will have had things explained to you..................as in the numbers were rising rapidly and the people you mentioned that had already been invited without me meeting them personally
"you were so adamant that no one was going to the party that you had not met previously however we know this also to be a slight deviation in the truth as we know someone very well that is attending that has never met you at all,"
I had already invited those persons, so couldn't really go back on my word as they were already on the invite list.
Anyway, back to the point about you having a dig in the comm.
In 1 of your messages posted on there, you have had a dig at me personally.......ie
"Surely the "host" on the evening should of been able to introduce people etc as star and lisa did with the empire members??? "
If this kind of digging carries on, then I will terminate your membership. PLEASE MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT THAT!!!
The whole swinging scene is supposed to be about people meeting up and making friends etc. Not about having sly digs at people. If you can't find it in yourself to be civil, then please don't post anything. Myself and all the managers want to keep this comm. as happy and successful as it has been, and that doesn't include having an air of unease around the place.
As for me introducing you to everyone, I didn't personally know everyone who was there, and didn't introduce many people to others as most seemed to be doing a pretty good job of it themselves.
Also, Clive introduced himself to me and I found him to be a very amiable guy. You, on the other hand just seemed to want to have a go at me by calling me a "two-faced bastard". I'm sure if you ask anyone in the comm. or in the SH chatroom, you will find no-one that would call me two-faced. This is because I am honest and open with everyone.
As for you arriving "unannounced"
"and would like to apologize for arriving unannounced but what the hell eh, we all like surprises"
If you are not on the invite list for the next one, and you try to get in, you will be turned away at the door. And there will be doormen next time. This applies to everyione, not just you, so don't think I am having a go at you personally. So please don't waste your time and fuel travelling if you are not on the list.
One final word.................If you feel that you would like to copy and paste this e-mail, or forward it on to whoever you want, as you have done in the past, then please feel free to do so. I have said nothing in this mail that I wouldn't say to your face, and feel that I have not said anything at all out of place. If you think I have, then please don't hesitate to let me know which points you think I am being unfair on.
Now can we call a truce and will you stop digging???????
Marcuso
REPLY : firstly to begin with, i had enuff trust in you to forward on personal details ie my fone number (landline) etc with regards to your personal party, i said to you at the time, i thought you was a 2 faced prick and repeated that when YOU approached me at the room meet on saturday, I DID NOT APPROACH YOU!!!! secondly Im was invited to the room meet way back ago by one of the comms managers, arriving unnanounced and saying over the surprises was reference to the people who was shocked by us turning up, nothing to do with you at all. A number of people who we know personally was attending the meeting and was surprised by us being there. We went to bury the hatchett with people who we have had discrepancies with and have been resolved and this person was there and the matter was resolved then.
I have not pasted or copied any of your conversations with me to anyone but as i have been accused of this then i am posting it where it can be openly viewed by members to see what the assist manager is doing. I am doing this as i feel strongly that you have personally threatened me when it has been made blatantly obvious that i wish to have nothing to do with you, as i said to you on saturday night, i have not come here to speak to you and i am now getting threatened with termination of my membership !!!! The same assistant manager who now thinks that clive is an "amiable" guy saw fit to BAN him from the comms over a posting that somebody else made??? surely this is victimisation because we are friends with another couple you decided that you would ban a member for something he had not done nor have any part in whatsoever.
so what we dont get on with you and have no intentions of getting on with you but as regards to taking things personally, then you have done so by comments i have posted in the comms being directed at you ie over the surprises!!! both managers of the comms wer surprised to see us and i personally would waste my time or energy on having digs at you, but your the one saying over personally???
and just to top it all, you are blocked from my messenger as i have no wish to even speak to you as i have already told you on here and face to face so as far as i am concerned i aint got a grudge, ive said what i needed to. so as far as i was concerned i wudnt even waste my storage space on getting at you.
but i am not happy with receiving an email from you to my personal inbox containing threatening and abusive material as copied above, by the way with reference to copying and pasting, you have also done the same in your email so thats about level par aint it !
I think you have pretty much answered most of that yourself Shaz……….I also think you are making yourself look vindictive so please leave it alone and let sleeping dogs lie………I have tried explaining things to you and you have obviously decided to disregard any explanation.
I have already asked you if we could call a truce……..obviously not
I approached you to try and smooth things over………obviously not
I have now left that comm. Because I didn’t want the managers work in making the comm. a success going to waste through petty bickering………are you really bothered about that………………………………….. obviously not
I have even tried to smooth things via a third party that we both know to try And make things you listened…………………. obviously not
I’ll leave this where it belongs………..In the bin
Please just leave it now
Quote by Calista
Perhaps as a learning curve, in future, post munch parties are arranged separately to the actual munch thread and the identities of people attending the party kept "secret" until closer the date.
I do feel for Marcuso .. not an easy position to be put in ..... and I wonder if the person objecting considered anybody elses feelings? Surely they could have set them aside from one evening if they weren't brave enough to tackle the issue head on? There will be may people at the party who may miss LC realising he should have been attending.
Please let's not blow it out of proportion. LC has defended himself admirably and hopefully set things to rest.
Hugs to LC ... he has already had my thoughts and kisses earlier this learn from this Calista
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Is this not all getting just a little personal.
At the end of the day we have arranged a munch,for meeting and chatting and having fun,we dont want the munch to suffer for this!
Hear Hear Clare
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by westerross
Anybody who has spent any appreciable time on the forum will know that LC is one of the really good guys.. I won't go on. I can't profess to know the ins and outs of private party protocol but the way this was done seems very unfortunate and has put another good guy, Marcuso in an awkward position. In Marcuso's position I think I would have said to the perpetrator "Tell LC yourself if you feel that way".
Similarly, I don't think blind retaliation achieves much at all.
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by tallnhairy
Shaz I appreciate your depth of feeling, but LC has avoided any personal comments, I feel that this is his thread. It should not become personal after so much effort to keep it from being that.
Mistakes have been made, I suspect a cloud is over the party now (NOT the munch, we all know the hard work going into that and it will go swimmingly) In future to avoid hurt feelings, and more importantly impact on reputations lets all take on board Calista's idea and try and keep public lists of attendees private unless you are going to stick to it...
I couldn’t agree with you more tallnhairy
hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by bluexxx
This is a very emotive issue but PLEASE do not start flinging personal comments at each other. If the conversation gets too nasty in a personal way one of the mods would be obliged to lock it. As this is LC's thread and a very important one for him, I would be loathed to have to lock it for a reason that was nothing to do with him or directly relating to the issue at hand. PLEASE respect each other and keep the personals to PM.
Thanks
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by JGL
Hi all
Right as me only knowing one side of thius story i can coment fully but from what i know of the organisers they are really nice pll
they have helped and supproted me all the way through the last few months and i will back them all i can.
there must of been a very genuine reason for them to remove LC off the list. other wiswe they would not of done so.
I think it is totally wrong for LC to post a thread like this... which i think is an act of PURE revenge.
if my invite would of be delined i would of asked the reason why and accepted it.
I think you meant “I can’t comment fully†eh JGL???????
I can’t agree with you more mate and yes…………I must agree with you that I have helped and supported you have been more than worthy of being helped and supported…………..and I would back you all I could, but please don’t get yourself into any trouble by “taking sidesâ€â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦hopefully it has all been sorted now with no hard feelings on any need to answer the rest of the messages in the thread now……………lol
Quote by shaz_41692
im sorry if you are of the opinion that his thread is being "hijacked" but there is NO intention of doing that at all to LC and the posting i made is related to this as it shows that it has been done before to somebody else, and no personal comments where made except for the direct comments contained within the email. obviously as swingers genuine ones would appreciate being told yes or no instead of thinkin things are arranged to be dropped as you have all posted really nice things regarding LC then yes he seems to be a nice guy and obviously genuine as people who know him and that dont have not got no problem with him at all but as the site title ses, this is the one for "genuine" swingers
As I said Shaz………please let it drop now and if you have any problems then please get in touch with me directly
Quote by freckledbird
well done Lovecommando for going public, hope it doesn't stop you attending the munch, would like to say hi to you in person. i agree with what some of the others have already said, i wouldn't want to go to a party where there might be someone waiting to stab me in the back
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by JudyTV
I think it is totally wrong for LC to post a thread like this... which i think is an act of PURE revenge.
if my invite would of be delined i would of asked the reason why and accepted it.
The whole point of his post (LC) was that he DID ask and he was NOT given an answer. In fact he asked several times which was exactly what was stated in the very first post. That is the whole crux of the issue here. He was not given a full explanation or who the accusers were this is why he has gone public ...and rightly so as he is trying to clear his name.
Judy
He has nothing to clear Judy and no-one is stabbing him in the back
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by JudyTV
I think it is totally wrong for LC to post a thread like this... which i think is an act of PURE revenge.
if my invite would of be delined i would of asked the reason why and accepted it.
The whole point of his post (LC) was that he DID ask and he was NOT given an answer. In fact he asked several times which was exactly what was stated in the very first post. That is the whole crux of the issue here. He was not given a full explanation or who the accusers were this is why he has gone public ...and rightly so as he is trying to clear his name.
Judy
Well put Judy, from how I took this thread (and I am sure LC will correct me if I am wrong) this is not a moan about not getting an invite as much as the damage to someones reputation, to be publicly removed from a list.
The thread has served that purpose, and anyone who had any doubts about LC should now be well and truly sure he is one of the sites 'Good and Genuine' guys.
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by Marya
It's interesting how you will all take one person's version of events and accept and honour that without hearing the other side.
I don't think I'm speaking out of turn when I say that Marcuso took on the responsibilty of organising the party - whatever happened.
I understand how LC may feel about this, but he knows damn well who has univited him from the party, so why not speak to them rather than wash his dirty linen in public and get the sympathy vote? This is turning into a bloody witch hunt - you're now forcing into public the people who wanted this kept private and for their own reasons, chose to do taht a certain way - whether you like it or not.
If this was so important and personal to LC - why not confront the organisers yourself?
By banning them from the Munch, I believe you may well have put others in a very awkward postion.
Hear Hear Marya………………….A PM is supposed to be a PRIVATE message
Quote by Clare_Lincs
We may have been a bit hasty on that one to be honest,we are waiting until we know ALL of the facts,we were gonna edit that post but as so many people had read it we didnt see the point,we appologise if it offended anyone.
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by Dave__Notts
I have just been informed that this thread has appeared. After reading through three pages I see that there is a lot of emotion in the air. A lot of argument has passed back and forth without the knowledge of what has actually occurred.
A lot of you have said that the "brave" person is not brave enough to show themselves. This is not quite true as I am now making myself known at the earliest opportunity.
I had my reasons to withdraw the invite and this is on a very personal level between me and LC. The main reason has not been listed above.
Unlike LC I will not wash my dirty linen in public and should LC wish to listen to my reasons, then please PM me with your phone number and I will be happy to explain this further.
Dave_Notts
Thank you Dave_ just for taking the flak off me……..Cos I’m not bothered about that,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but for opening up………………..I really didn’t want you to do that and would have hoped you would have let things run as I am more than willing to take the flak, but thank you anyway
I won’t answer any more messages in this thread………..Except to answer any more messages directly aimed at me
I hold my hat off to you and respect you more than anything for opening up………..anything I can do for you then please let me know
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by the_tongue
Well said Dave
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Seeing as LC isn't going to the party does that mean there's a vacancy ???
Alright!! It was a joke!!!
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Quote by Heather
Marcuso has asked that he be allowed to post to this thread, and seeing as he hasn't been given a chance to respond, the thread in being temporarily opened....
Thank you heather
Quote by bluexxx
I'm inclined to say leave it open to allow all relevant parties to respond. It is only fair as a lot of accusations have been made and it is fair to all concerned that they are allowed to publicly defend themselves if they so wish. Of course if those people would prefer their response to be kept to PM, that's fair enough. I would say that only if the conversation should become abusive should the thread be locked permanently.
As I said……..hopefully it’s sorted now
Yes a lot has been said and most of it on public forum so perhaps it should be allowed to run if the mods keep a tight grip on things then it may b
