Reading the signs

5 Sep 2006

Quote by westerross
Inevitably if you have a good bit of flirty banter with someone, it'll usually end up in a PM or two. Depending on what sort of person they are things can go a number of ways. If we converse well in PM then, after I'm sure there's some sort of friendship there, I would usually make it sexier and sexier- trying avoid it being smutty. To get to a point where you really feel you have read the sign can take ages. It is a slow way and not a very Swingy way but I need to like people I'm going to have sex with. And the whole process of getting to know someone like this is just a wonderful experience.
.

Jeez, having re-read that (like ya do! rolleyes

) it makes it sound as though I'm trying to get into the knickers of everyone I PM. Just as often I will merely be wanting to converse with someone I like and want to have social intercourse with!

Quote by goose35
Maybe i need be a bit quicker and just ask. It really should be that simple.

It may be the best thing to just ask but be prepared for any answer. I will ask outright early on if I think the friend I'm conversing with is only interested in friendship 'cos going down the sexy route then is potentially destructive.
By the way Goose, my friend, I'm very happy for you.
.
.

5 Sep 2006

Sometimes I find myself much to nervous and scared of rejection at a munch....
if you really liked someone at a munch I pm them afterwards and say it was really nice to meet them, and would they like to chat and meet up again in the future.....
it opens the door the more conversation and who knows what else...
last time I sent that pm we met up about 3 days later and it was 2 days after we met before I left her house :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: and we now live together......
so what have you got to loose??
yeah ok the polite thanks but no thanks does hurt but we can't all be everyone's cup of tea (what a strange saying that is really but I think that could be a whole new thread.)

5 Sep 2006

Quote by firelizard
It's hard for me to understand really. Mainly because due to my lack of social skills, what I think I usually say!
I'm sure we all fear rejection on some level, my motto is "You don't ask, you don't get!"
...and my PM box is always open.... failing that, let's get a private chat room....:rascal:

Now you see I totally agree with the sentiment hun, but it's putting it into practise thats sooo difficult!
As for your social skills they're great, would'nt have you any other way :inlove:
FIRE xx
Thanks Fire. kiss

I wasn't saying it was easy etc. It's just me being unable to communicate my thoughts yet again! :lol:
I've been thinking about this and I maybe did myself a disservice, as I think I am actually quite good at the whole 'sign reading' thingy when it comes to sex.
I really enjoy making the first move, especially the first kiss! :rascal: :inlove:
I think I use flirting as the 'yardstick' as a way to test the waters in quite a lot of situations. However it doesn't always work like that, when I first met my gf I found her so stunning I couldn't even look her in the eyes for long before I would go bright red! redface

It's doesn't help me on here but I have been told many times that I have very expressive eyes and that it's pretty easy to tell what I'm thinking. :lickface:

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Kiss
It's just me being unable to communicate my thoughts yet again!

You've never had any problems communicating them to me :shock: :rascal: :scared: passionkiss

5 Sep 2006

Quote by meat2pleaseu
It's just me being unable to communicate my thoughts yet again!

You've never had any problems communicating them to me :shock: :rascal: :scared: passionkiss

I love the way you pretend to be shocked and scared.... it endears you to me even more.
Now get to my room! :rascal:

5 Sep 2006

How do you know i'm not already in there, have you checked? :rascal: passionkiss

5 Sep 2006

I'm rubbish at picking up on signs, I'm rubbish at giving signs out.
I'm rubbish at initiating contact, I'm rubbish at initiating play.
It's actually quite astounding that we manage to play ever.
A big 69position

and thank you for those who've walked us through the above barriers.
Jas
XXX

5 Sep 2006

Signs what signs?
wouldnt know if a lady was interested in me or not as havnt a clue about reading or seeing
I NEED HELP
hopefully will be able to read them better at the next social
I do hope so
any pointeres would be handy guys/gals
HELP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Jas-Tim
I'm rubbish at picking up on signs, I'm rubbish at giving signs out.
I'm rubbish at initiating contact, I'm rubbish at initiating play.
It's actually quite astounding that we manage to play ever.
A big and thank you for those who've walked us through the above barriers.
Jas
XXX

Snap

edit - but I find if you say "I am rubbish at this... do you fancy a shag?" it usually gets the ball rolling wink

5 Sep 2006

Quote by PoloLady
I'm rubbish at picking up on signs, I'm rubbish at giving signs out.
I'm rubbish at initiating contact, I'm rubbish at initiating play.
It's actually quite astounding that we manage to play ever.
A big and thank you for those who've walked us through the above barriers.
Jas
XXX

Snap

edit - but I find if you say "I am rubbish at this... do you fancy a shag?" it usually gets the ball rolling wink

Well recently I've been working on the "I want that one" principle, including the pointing to draw full attention to myself :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I got lucky though :wink:
Jas
XXX

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Jas-Tim
I'm rubbish at picking up on signs, I'm rubbish at giving signs out.
I'm rubbish at initiating contact, I'm rubbish at initiating play.
It's actually quite astounding that we manage to play ever.
A big and thank you for those who've walked us through the above barriers.
Jas
XXX

Snap

edit - but I find if you say "I am rubbish at this... do you fancy a shag?" it usually gets the ball rolling wink

Well recently I've been working on the "I want that one" principle, including the pointing to draw full attention to myself :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I got lucky though :wink:
Jas
XXX
you mean it actually works????
what am i saying, course it does, i have seen you in the flesh.....

5 Sep 2006

Please don't flame me for suggesting this rather unorthodox approach, but maybe some people would find Neuro Linguistic Programming helpful. If anyone really does struggle with â€˜the signsâ€™ I suggest googling it!
As I have mentioned before, due to having Aspergers I have had to lean all my social skills by rote. I have found that NLP books have been the most useful to me and you can get them on Amazon or in larger bookshops.
biggrin

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Kiss
Please don't flame me for suggesting this rather unorthodox approach, but maybe some people would find Neuro Linguistic Programming helpful. If anyone really does struggle with â€˜the signsâ€™ I suggest googling it!
As I have mentioned before, due to having Aspergers I have had to lean all my social skills by rote. I have found that NLP books have been the most useful to me and you can get them on Amazon or in larger bookshops.

Nope
I deliver training in NLP lol

:lol: :lol:

5 Sep 2006

when im totally bored i might read up on it

5 Sep 2006

Quote by essex34m
when im totally bored i might read up on it

By the look of your posts, thats most of the time rolleyes

:lol2:

5 Sep 2006

Quote by PoloLady
Please don't flame me for suggesting this rather unorthodox approach, but maybe some people would find Neuro Linguistic Programming helpful. If anyone really does struggle with â€˜the signsâ€™ I suggest googling it!
As I have mentioned before, due to having Aspergers I have had to lean all my social skills by rote. I have found that NLP books have been the most useful to me and you can get them on Amazon or in larger bookshops.

Nope
I deliver training in NLP lol

:lol: :lol:
Why does that make SO much sense?
:lol:

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Dawnie
when im totally bored i might read up on it

By the look of your posts, thats most of the time rolleyes

:lol2:
and the boredom wasnt relieved talking with mods about wringing out towels

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Abilene
Fire ... when someone ( er...me ... I cant talk about others ) tells you about 6 times they love your outfit and then they also touch your hair a couple of times it's usually a sign

Bugger it........ you only told me 5 times Sigh!! :cry:

5 Sep 2006

This is going to sound very conceited but we met a couple on my birthday (not so long ago) All arranged by mrs mdr lolâ€¦. Now we were sitting in a quiet little cove in a pub chatting away when the female of the other couple who was sat next to me literally started to rub her foot up my crotch then nibble my ear and start to tell me what she was going to do to meâ€¦mrs mdr was so turned on by itâ€¦ even I got the hint lol. First I thought she was a bit forward but thenâ€¦.. brain disengaged fully and the blood had drained away to other parts and we had a great time.. If only we could all be as direct??
So many times we have wanted to do that or something like so people know you fancy them lol.... but how can you??
We might now mind..
Mike and Julie x

5 Sep 2006

I can read signs really well..
If she is on her knees i assume thats a yes.
If i receive a black eye i assume thats a no.
Tony wink

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Shaz_n_Tony
I can read signs really well..
If she is on her knees i assume thats a yes.
If i receive a black eye i assume thats a no.
Tony

Thank you Tony
I will bear that one in mind next time i ask a lady

5 Sep 2006

Quote by essex34m
when im totally bored i might read up on it

By the look of your posts, thats most of the time rolleyes

:lol2:
and the boredom wasnt relieved talking with mods about wringing out towels

:rotflmao::rotflmao:
Shush you kiss

5 Sep 2006

Quote by robbiem
I can read signs really well..
If she is on her knees i assume thats a yes.
If i receive a black eye i assume thats a no.
Tony

Thank you Tony
I will bear that one in mind next time i ask a lady
You more then welcome lol

Tony :wink:

5 Sep 2006

Quote by westerross

Maybe i need be a bit quicker and just ask. It really should be that simple.

It may be the best thing to just ask but be prepared for any answer. I will ask outright early on if I think the friend I'm conversing with is only interested in friendship 'cos going down the sexy route then is potentially destructive.

Exactly Tune
I'm talking in general here not about my meet.
Thats why i wouldn't do that though knowing me because of that fact that i'd be worried by the answer ans spoil anything there now.
I think the fact its all online makes it a little slower than anything that would happen offline in person and thats probably why its harder to read the signs as was asked, just as sometimes text posts can be misunderstood.

5 Sep 2006

Quote by goose35

How do you change the way you read people??

If you find out let me know please wink

I PM several people but have no clue as to if its a PM buddy thing or more. I just don't want to make a fool of myself with them and spoil it what i have got with them.
It can be a bit of a roller coaster trying to analyse things instead of just damned asking and be done with.
Goose, I am sure your friends would not hold it against you if you did make a delicate pass on them. Friends are meant to be understanding and the worst that can happen is you two having a giggle telling the story 'remember the time you tried to... and I...' I think I would feel flattered if one of my friends liked me in a sexual way and you can have sex with people and still remain friends, so what's the problem?

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Tania

How do you change the way you read people??

If you find out let me know please wink

I PM several people but have no clue as to if its a PM buddy thing or more. I just don't want to make a fool of myself with them and spoil it what i have got with them.
It can be a bit of a roller coaster trying to analyse things instead of just damned asking and be done with.
Goose, I am sure your friends would not hold it against you if you did make a delicate pass on them. Friends are meant to be understanding and the worst that can happen is you two having a giggle telling the story 'remember the time you tried to... and I...' I think I would feel flattered if one of my friends liked me in a sexual way and you can have sex with people and still remain friends, so what's the problem?
but here is where the problem arises for people like goose, myself and many others
what is a delicate pass? how do you do one? and the worse that can happen is that the other person thought they had a good friendship, now their friend wants to get in their panties, it drives a wedge in the friendship, and what made that friendship works is now gone

5 Sep 2006

Quote by essex34m

How do you change the way you read people??

If you find out let me know please wink

I PM several people but have no clue as to if its a PM buddy thing or more. I just don't want to make a fool of myself with them and spoil it what i have got with them.
It can be a bit of a roller coaster trying to analyse things instead of just damned asking and be done with.
Goose, I am sure your friends would not hold it against you if you did make a delicate pass on them. Friends are meant to be understanding and the worst that can happen is you two having a giggle telling the story 'remember the time you tried to... and I...' I think I would feel flattered if one of my friends liked me in a sexual way and you can have sex with people and still remain friends, so what's the problem?
but here is where the problem arises for people like goose, myself and many others
what is a delicate pass? how do you do one? and the worse that can happen is that the other person thought they had a good friendship, now their friend wants to get in their panties, it drives a wedge in the friendship, and what made that friendship works is now gone
Yep it's a tough one that Essex but if the freinship is strong the err will pass with time but yes what if it don't. I'm guessing that delicate would be a passionate kiss leading to some wondering hands etc. and i suppose if you havent had a STOP there maybe that the sign.
blimey stop there lol

I can see the point Tania it's just blokes sometimes need to be sure it won't be a problem, well i do anyway.
Still the question is there how do you read the signs be it in the forum or out there and i fear it hasn't got an answer or we'd all know.

5 Sep 2006

Quote by essex34m
but here is where the problem arises for people like goose, myself and many others
what is a delicate pass? how do you do one? and the worse that can happen is that the other person thought they had a good friendship, now their friend wants to get in their panties, it drives a wedge in the friendship, and what made that friendship works is now gone

I have no idea what a delicate pass is - I know I would probably miss it though lol

:lol:
Really though one of the things that i have found on here is people who you are friendly with already, rarely get offended if you ask and I've not had anyone stop talking to me or being friendly just because we have said no or they have.
I've found that staight forward is really the way to go and provided you are polite about it, it shouldn't be a problem whatever the outcome.
To be honest, I get more worried when I don't get asked by anyone for months on end, as it is a swinging site so I sort of expect people to ask me about or for sex.
However, after Happy Cat has totally destroyed my self esteem I'll probably never be brave enough to point and shout again. :cry: :cry: confused

Jas
XXX

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Jas-Tim

but here is where the problem arises for people like goose, myself and many others
what is a delicate pass? how do you do one? and the worse that can happen is that the other person thought they had a good friendship, now their friend wants to get in their panties, it drives a wedge in the friendship, and what made that friendship works is now gone

I have no idea what a delicate pass is - I know I would probably miss it though lol

:lol:
Really though one of the things that i have found on here is people who you are friendly with already, rarely get offended if you ask and I've not had anyone stop talking to me or being friendly just because we have said no or they have.
I've found that staight forward is really the way to go and provided you are polite about it, it shouldn't be a problem whatever the outcome.
To be honest, I get more worried when I don't get asked by anyone for months on end, as it is a swinging site so I sort of expect people to ask me about or for sex.
However, after Happy Cat has totally destroyed my self esteem I'll probably never be brave enough to point and shout again. :cry: :cry: confused

Jas
XXX
well, having seen you on a couple of occasions, i can only say you should have more ambition than HC lmao
:rose:

5 Sep 2006

Essex, I am sorry but I don't see why it would drive a wedge as you say. If a friendship is genuine, it will survive awkward moments.
I once made a 'pass' to a friend of mine. We had to sleep in the same bed because he broke his own bed. As we were lying in bed, he began saying some things and the wicked me came out and I removed my clothes under the bedsheets and then told him. He freaked out and began screaming as if he was being . We had a good laugh, I put my nightdress and knickers back on, said goodnight and that was that.