Reading the signs

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Jas-Tim
Really though one of the things that i have found on here is people who you are friendly with already, rarely get offended if you ask and I've not had anyone stop talking to me or being friendly just because we have said no or they have.
I've found that staight forward is really the way to go and provided you are polite about it, it shouldn't be a problem whatever the outcome.
To be honest, I get more worried when I don't get asked by anyone for months on end, as it is a swinging site so I sort of expect people to ask me about or for sex.
Jas
XXX

:thumbup:

5 Sep 2006

Let us assume you have met someone online and exchanged a few PMs and you feel all warm and fuzzy about this budding friendship. Let us assume further that you get the guts to ask them out one day. You meet and it is a comfortable feeling, you laugh a lot and talk about your lives. Then you must say goodbye but nobody really wants to go - it is just too good - so you adjurn to a private place for some coffee. You end up cuddling up on the sofa. It is a nice, friendly thing to do. Then the guy touches the girl's hair. If she does not complain, he strokes her arm. If there is still no complaint, he bends his head and gives her a kiss on her hair saying something innocent like 'I love the smell of your hair'. Then if she wants to take it further she can ask 'what about the smell of the rest of me?' or if she is not interested she gets up and says 'thanks, you are very sweet, fancy another coffee?' As you understand that would break the spell and signify that the guy has reached a boundary the girl does not want to cross. Saved face for everyone. She could also say ,but we are treading dangerous ground. You are too precious as a friend and I don't want to go that way... hope you understand.' But if he is extra sensitive, that might hurt his feelings.

5 Sep 2006

Goose, a delicate pass is not some passionate kissing. For a kiss to be passionate it needs to be reciprocated. By the time you get to exploring each other's tonsils, you are way past the delicate pass point! LOL Read my above dissertation for a definition of a delicate pass...
Anyway, if you move slowly, and get affirmation at each step that you are going the right way, there is no way you can get it wrong. ;)

5 Sep 2006

Quote by earthchild
totally understand what you are saying, I too, have absolutely no idea when it comes to reading signs
but then there isnt any signs, others can tart for England, but I cant, i make a real hamfisted effort at it, and my insecurities tells me nobody would be interested even if I wanted to
so I have resigned myself to accepting that im here to socialise, and cross any bridge when I come to them

this isnt strictly true when you feel comfortable honey, you may not realise it but there are signs.
Earthy xx
earthy send us a sign

5 Sep 2006

Quote by tyneside4fun
totally understand what you are saying, I too, have absolutely no idea when it comes to reading signs
but then there isnt any signs, others can tart for England, but I cant, i make a real hamfisted effort at it, and my insecurities tells me nobody would be interested even if I wanted to
so I have resigned myself to accepting that im here to socialise, and cross any bridge when I come to them

this isnt strictly true when you feel comfortable honey, you may not realise it but there are signs.
Earthy xx
earthy send us a signillsend you one>>>>>>>>jd this way(er and not the drink) lol

5 Sep 2006

I am starting to get slightly confused here - are we talking about signs that someone wants to take a friendship to a deeper level and start a relationship or the signs that someone wants to get in your pants and fuck you silly?

5 Sep 2006

Quote by PoloLady
I am starting to get slightly confused here - are we talking about signs that someone wants to take a friendship to a deeper level and start a relationship or the signs that someone wants to get in your pants and fuck you silly?

Well this is the one I meant, don't know about everyone else though :giggle: I already have the relationship ! come to think of it he's quite good at fecking me silly too!! ....eeeerrr someone remind me again! Why am I here???
FIRE xxx

5 Sep 2006

Quote by firelizard
I am starting to get slightly confused here - are we talking about signs that someone wants to take a friendship to a deeper level and start a relationship or the signs that someone wants to get in your pants and fuck you silly?

Well this is the one I meant, don't know about everyone else though :giggle: I already have the relationship ! come to think of it he's quite good at fecking me silly too!! ....eeeerrr someone remind me again! Why am I here???
FIRE xxx
i thought it was about knowing the signs in the swinging scene...we've been to clubs got chatting to some nice couples,but neither of us want to commit saying "want to play?"....without fear of then saying "no thanks"....so are there actual ways of knowing first?

5 Sep 2006

I'm wiv her above (well I'm not cos she won't let me) but yeah I agree with firelizard
M

5 Sep 2006

Quote by firelizard
I am starting to get slightly confused here - are we talking about signs that someone wants to take a friendship to a deeper level and start a relationship or the signs that someone wants to get in your pants and fuck you silly?

Well this is the one I meant, don't know about everyone else though :giggle: I already have the relationship ! come to think of it he's quite good at fecking me silly too!! ....eeeerrr someone remind me again! Why am I here???
FIRE xxx
Cheers - I was starting to wonder as some of the questions and answers were starting to sound a bit like relationship non-swinging type kinda stuff.
As Jas has already pointed out - it is a swinging site...
If you are not sure of someone's level of interest, why not just ask "Do you think we will ever play?" .
If they get offended at that then... well... really... what did they think they would be asked by people on here?

5 Sep 2006

Quote by da69ve
I am starting to get slightly confused here - are we talking about signs that someone wants to take a friendship to a deeper level and start a relationship or the signs that someone wants to get in your pants and fuck you silly?

Well this is the one I meant, don't know about everyone else though :giggle: I already have the relationship ! come to think of it he's quite good at fecking me silly too!! ....eeeerrr someone remind me again! Why am I here???
FIRE xxx
i thought it was about knowing the signs in the swinging scene...we've been to clubs got chatting to some nice couples,but neither of us want to commit saying "want to play?"....without fear of then saying "no thanks"....so are there actual ways of knowing first?
Can always rely on you to get it back on track and to the point hun kiss

Thats exactly what I wanted to know. Mind you I never want to do anything that might involve rejection without a script rolleyes

FIRE xx

5 Sep 2006

Quote by PoloLady
I am starting to get slightly confused here - are we talking about signs that someone wants to take a friendship to a deeper level and start a relationship or the signs that someone wants to get in your pants and fuck you silly?

Well this is the one I meant, don't know about everyone else though :giggle: I already have the relationship ! come to think of it he's quite good at fecking me silly too!! ....eeeerrr someone remind me again! Why am I here???
FIRE xxx
Cheers - I was starting to wonder as some of the questions and answers were starting to sound a bit like relationship non-swinging type kinda stuff.
As Jas has already pointed out - it is a swinging site...
If you are not sure of someone's level of interest, why not just ask "Do you think we will ever play?" .
If they get offended at that then... well... really... what did they think they would be asked by people on here?
yes its a swinging site.......but some seem to forget that! lol

5 Sep 2006

Quote by da69ve
i thought it was about knowing the signs in the swinging scene...we've been to clubs got chatting to some nice couples,but neither of us want to commit saying "want to play?"....without fear of then saying "no thanks"....so are there actual ways of knowing first?

Yeah - try asking "What's under the towel?"
If they tell you - it's a 'no thanks'
If they show you - it's a green light wink

:lol: :lol:

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Tania
Essex, I am sorry but I don't see why it would drive a wedge as you say. If a friendship is genuine, it will survive awkward moments.

I totally agree .... well so far in my life I do anyway.

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Abilene
Essex, I am sorry but I don't see why it would drive a wedge as you say. If a friendship is genuine, it will survive awkward moments.

I totally agree .... well so far in my life I do anyway.
Oiii......we just got it back on topic!....... wink

5 Sep 2006

lol... I know Dave ... going back to my quiet corner.

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Abilene
lol... I know Dave ... going back to my quiet corner.

Don't you dare kiss

FIRE xx

5 Sep 2006

Quote by firelizard
Just read a few threads today since we've been to our first munch and suddenly realized how crap I / we are at reading the signs. For instance if someone likes you, how the feck do ya know!!!!!
We've never PM'd anyone to ask for a meet or chat etc because we're too scared so I suppose this is something else we're going to have to learn along with everything else we are still learning since being here and don't anyone post saying my PM box is free, cos we won't believe you anyway :giggle:
Actually I suppose my problem is fear of rejection (I never even make the first move with him, so don't know how I would pluck up the courage on here ffs) and Stormy's problem is he's too damn lazy
So how did you lot get over it ?

Well that was the question.
My slant was the fact how do you know if someone is interested from the posts and or chat and how do you get over the fear of rejection on first contact. I then went into about the fear of rejection on asking to meet ans so on and so on.
I flirted with someone so long on here worried about asking that i was told to get a room surprised

ops:

If you are not sure of someone's level of interest, why not just ask "Do you think we will ever play?"

In the context of on here which was i thought the question would that not make you a member of the quick shag brigade ?
Realy we are debating how to approach someone on here after seeing maybe some posts that would make you stop and think if it was banter or if it was a serious flirt to warrant contact by pm and then going from there.
That how my approach has been on here from the beggining and yes it has similarities to relationship meathods. Especially after witnessing some meathods in the chatrooms i thought this would be a better meathod to use.
If i used the ads or went to swing clubs then that meathod would be more direct in approach.

5 Sep 2006

Quote by goose35

If you are not sure of someone's level of interest, why not just ask "Do you think we will ever play?"

In the context of on here which was i thought the question would that not make you a member of the quick shag brigade ?

Only if you were replying to someone's first post who was just saying "hello" to the forum lol

If you are already at the stage where you are looking for signs and not sure if you are missing them,..... no.
I am sure you are capable of just talking in a few PM's, asking them out for a social drink and if you are still not sure how it is going - drop it in.
Afterall, you're not asking "will you drop your pants right now at this very moment for me... coz I am busting for a ball-bag clearout"

5 Sep 2006

Polo
"Do you think we will ever play?" confused

:? :? :? :? lol

:lol: :lol: wink

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Polo
"Do you think we will ever play?" :? :? :? :? :lol: :lol:

Not if you keep bloody running off! mad

5 Sep 2006

Quote by PoloLady
Afterall, you're not asking "will you drop your pants right now at this very moment for me... coz I am busting for a ball-bag clearout"

Never fail to amaze me with your eloquent words PL. :giggle:

5 Sep 2006

Quote by PoloLady

If you are not sure of someone's level of interest, why not just ask "Do you think we will ever play?"

In the context of on here which was i thought the question would that not make you a member of the quick shag brigade ?

Only if you were replying to someone's first post who was just saying "hello" to the forum lol

:lol: yes true

Quote by PoloLady
I am sure you are capable of just talking in a few PM's and if you are still not sure how it is going - drop it in.
Afterall, you're not asking "will you drop your pants right now at this very moment for me... coz I am busting for a ball-bag clearout"

Oh yes i do PM a few folks her regulaly and no i don't ask to drop their pants :lol:
It's not so much what or how do i know just my timings off :lol:
I'm just trying not to be like some who think this is a shag shop but am trying to be more polite.
So on that score could you be too nice confused

:

5 Sep 2006

After reading all the thread over and over again
I still havnt a effing clue about signs !!!!!!!
Hopefully i will be able to see them even if its hitting me straight in the face !!!!
still need HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

5 Sep 2006

Quote by goose35
I'm just trying not to be like some who think this is a shag shop but am trying to be more polite.

I think you will find their PM's go something more like...
"Hey I am free for an hour later. Do you wanna meet"
"Great tits. My number is 0787 *** ***"
"Love to fuck you. Ru horny now?"

5 Sep 2006

Quote by robbiem
After reading all the thread over and over again
I still havnt a effing clue about signs !!!!!!!
Hopefully i will be able to see them even if its hitting me straight in the face !!!!
still need HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Calm down for heaven's sake! You're starting to sound a bit needy, asking for hellllllllllpppppppp in your posts rolleyes

5 Sep 2006

Quote by PoloLady
Afterall, you're not asking "will you drop your pants right now at this very moment for me... coz I am busting for a ball-bag clearout"

Choon's list of questions reduces by one! redface

There's different types o' people who like to do things the way that suits them - I thought we'd already established that (or was that another thread FFS?).
So some people may not like being up front with it.
Sometimes it depends on the type of person you may be asking.
Sometimes it may be just too damned early to say "Do you think we'll ever play?". There's many times I've thought that about someone and I just know that if I asked it, I would get the anwswer "How the fuck do I know?"
Sometimes it's quick sometimes it ain't.
.

5 Sep 2006

So Choon, fancy a shag? :twisted:

5 Sep 2006

Quote by robbiem
After reading all the thread over and over again
I still havnt a effing clue about signs !!!!!!!
Hopefully i will be able to see them even if its hitting me straight in the face !!!!
still need HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Here is a sign for you...
If they start ignoring all of your messages after a string of replies saying 'no thanks' - it is a pretty safe bet they are not interested wink

5 Sep 2006

Quote by Freckledbird
So Choon, fancy a shag? :twisted:

That's an example of 'quick'!!

:rotflmao:
.