Reading the signs

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Abilene
However ( and I am sure I am going to keep adding to this as I think of things ... lol) I am very insecure about my naked body so even when I am attracted to someone and I throw signs out there I usually wait for them to make that initial move as I always think "Oh they are just being polite talking to me" Now, that first move can be something as simple as a touch of the hand or a look ... .but I do wait for it.

Abi... you don't have to be insecure about your body... not the way you looked on Sat.
I understand exactly how you feel though... I feel the same way.
Fire.... love the avatar pic... you looked stuning on Sat, there is no way that people weren't intersted, prob a bit intimated with how good you looked and didn't want to face rejection from you incase you didn't like them.
oh and if you want... I am really really crap at signs... I didn't even realise that Celestria liked me when we first met... apparently everyone else in the room knew....

4 Sep 2006

Quote by firelizard
Geeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzz Fire ... dont feel bad though ... I gave up smiling seductively at Stormy ... he probably thought I was trying to fart !!!!!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
OMG thats the funniest thing I've read all day ffs. Anyway I already said it took me 12 fecking years too get him (and I've known him since I was 5 years old too rolleyes

) so you're on a loser trying to seduce him he won't flippin notice!!!
FIRE xx
Notice what? dunno

Stormwalker

4 Sep 2006

In Vanilla world i'm crap (although i'm much better since being on here).
On here i turn into Ubertart, if i like the look of someone i blatantly flirt, if they don't get a restraining order i flirt even more, then theres usually a bit of PM contact, a direct and non tarty 'Hello' usually. Then i seem to get given MSN addresses, no idea how dunno

so then theres lots more general chat, flirting and the odd bit of cybersex.
If i still haven't received a restraining order i'm usually convinced by this point they might actually like me, so a few subtle hints later we're hopefully both reching for diary's to find a suitable date (usually being either the following day or about 8 months later confused

). usual timescale from 1st contact is between 3 -10 months
Anyone who thinks this is a quick shag site is in for a bloody shock biggrin

(and yes miss firelizard, my pm box is always happy to see you :rascal: )

4 Sep 2006

Well I am useless, I have no idea if anyone is doing more than having a flirt and I giggle. I have never pmmed and asked for a meet and rarely had anyone pm me.
I can not read signs, I don't have the nerve to tell anyone that I fancy the pants off them.
I don't have a clue how to ask for a snog when there are times when I would really like one.
I know I am a full on flirt but anything other than that, clueless rolleyes

It really bloody annoys me and I wish someone would teach me how its done :twisted:

4 Sep 2006

I am terrible at reading signs.....
I can chat to someone or send regular PMs back and forth and I begin to think they are just being polite replying and that they would much rather be PMing someone else.
Its especially worse when the person I am PMing is also of this mentality as it gets us both nowhere.
I am even like this with just PM friends, not just possible romances!
How do you change the way you read people??

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Amber

How do you change the way you read people??

If you find out let me know please wink

I PM several people but have no clue as to if its a PM buddy thing or more. I just don't want to make a fool of myself with them and spoil it what i have got with them.
It can be a bit of a roller coaster trying to analyse things instead of just damned asking and be done with.

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Amber

How do you change the way you read people??

I wish I knew dunno

I am sooooooo crap at this, even when people are openly flirting with me I think they are just having a bit of fun rolleyes

I think the only thing that works for me is "oy poke

fancy a shag?"
:roll: sometimes I am amased at my own stupidity

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Pete_sw

How do you change the way you read people??

I wish I knew dunno

I am sooooooo crap at this, even when people are openly flirting with me I think they are just having a bit of fun rolleyes

I think the only thing that works for me is "oy poke

fancy a shag?"
:roll: sometimes I am amased at my own stupidity

Yes I agree that it would be easier to just come out and say exactly what you want but its not always that easy either!

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Pete_sw

How do you change the way you read people??

I wish I knew dunno

I am sooooooo crap at this, even when people are openly flirting with me I think they are just having a bit of fun rolleyes

I think the only thing that works for me is "oy poke

fancy a shag?"
:roll: sometimes I am amased at my own stupidity
Wish i had the cheek to try that lol

Well there is one who i flirted with as i said above and we have met socialy and had a grat time but like i said it was about 3 mths befor i finaly asked to meet so on that average i'll make one meet a year. :lol:

4 Sep 2006

It can sometimes be a little "unhelpful/frustrating/confusing" when shy people get a little flustered at being asked the question - "So . . . . . You wanna shag?"
But then later (too much later) tell someone else that they would have loved to, but didn't know how to say "Yes"
rotflmao

In edit . . .
"unhelpful/frustrating/confusing" are wholly the wrong words. It almost sounds like I'm having a dig. I promise; I'm not. It can be quite funny and amusing, in a "cute" sort of way
wink

4 Sep 2006

Ooooooooo it's a wonder anyone gets shagged on here innit? lol

4 Sep 2006

Quote by dambuster
It can sometimes be a little "unhelpful/frustrating/confusing" when shy people get a little flustered at being asked the question - "So . . . . . You wanna shag?"
But then later (too much later) tell someone else that they would have loved to, but didn't know how to say "Yes"

In edit . . .
"unhelpful/frustrating/confusing" are wholly the wrong words. It almost sounds like I'm having a dig. I promise; I'm not. It can be quite funny and amusing, in a "cute" sort of way

Aww shurrup you and get yer cakey buns out :rotflmao:
Love
FIRE xx

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Scandal
There's some fella in LMU who posts, "Lets fuck" and gets ripped to bits

Well if someone said that to me, I'd throw his bike in the river. He'd be fecked then would'nt he dunno

No seriously though. You need the middle ground really. Something more than no signs being given and alot more subtle than lets fuck would be about right would'nt it??
FIRE xx

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Scandal
There's some fella in LMU who posts, "Lets fuck" and gets ripped to bits

there a difference in that type of post and asking someone you're interacting with regularly on here that you physically or mentally fancy

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Dawnie
Well I am useless, I have no idea if anyone is doing more than having a flirt and I giggle. I have never pmmed and asked for a meet and rarely had anyone pm me.
I can not read signs, I don't have the nerve to tell anyone that I fancy the pants off them.
I don't have a clue how to ask for a snog when there are times when I would really like one.
I know I am a full on flirt but anything other than that, clueless
It really bloody annoys me and I wish someone would teach me how its done :twisted:

I find that getting my tits out helps.... :twisted: :twisted:

4 Sep 2006

Quote by BiWelshMinx
I find that getting my tits out helps.... :twisted: :twisted:

That'd work for me hunni :twisted:

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Scandal
You need the middle ground really. Something more than no signs being given and alot more subtle than lets fuck would be about right would'nt it??
FIRE xx

You do Fire, yes. However just flaming someone to death for saying lets fuck and, because he's a male, is crap!Some people do actually meet like that!
I agree Scandal, that's why I hav'nt and never do flame anyone!
If more people said .... "I'm here to have experimental and exciting sex with ...... etc" instead of "I'm here to make new friends ... blah blah..." then things would be alot clearer.
Trouble is, some of us find it difficult if not impossible to have sex with someone they hav'nt got to know in a friendly way first.
I find the best way F2F is to say ... "should we go somewhere private where we can relax"
and online ..... "can you imagine relaxing with me"
Now then, Fire, can you imagine relaxing with me? wink

No scandal lol

but only because I'm not looking for a man hun.
FIRE xx

4 Sep 2006

Quote by BiWelshMinx
Well I am useless, I have no idea if anyone is doing more than having a flirt and I giggle. I have never pmmed and asked for a meet and rarely had anyone pm me.
I can not read signs, I don't have the nerve to tell anyone that I fancy the pants off them.
I don't have a clue how to ask for a snog when there are times when I would really like one.
I know I am a full on flirt but anything other than that, clueless
It really bloody annoys me and I wish someone would teach me how its done :twisted:

I find that getting my tits out helps.... :twisted: :twisted:
I've tried before and it still doesn't help :roll:

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Dawnie
Well I am useless, I have no idea if anyone is doing more than having a flirt and I giggle. I have never pmmed and asked for a meet and rarely had anyone pm me.
I can not read signs, I don't have the nerve to tell anyone that I fancy the pants off them.
I don't have a clue how to ask for a snog when there are times when I would really like one.
I know I am a full on flirt but anything other than that, clueless
It really bloody annoys me and I wish someone would teach me how its done :twisted:

I find that getting my tits out helps.... :twisted: :twisted:
I've tried before and it still doesn't help :roll:
I am not going to post what I am thinking!!!!!!!!

4 Sep 2006

Quote by BiWelshMinx
Well I am useless, I have no idea if anyone is doing more than having a flirt and I giggle. I have never pmmed and asked for a meet and rarely had anyone pm me.
I can not read signs, I don't have the nerve to tell anyone that I fancy the pants off them.
I don't have a clue how to ask for a snog when there are times when I would really like one.
I know I am a full on flirt but anything other than that, clueless
It really bloody annoys me and I wish someone would teach me how its done :twisted:

I find that getting my tits out helps.... :twisted: :twisted:
I've tried before and it still doesn't help :roll:
I am not going to post what I am thinking!!!!!!!!
silly

hwoar: :phwoar: :phwoar: :phwoar: :phwoar:
Neither am I redface

4 Sep 2006

Quote by BiWelshMinx
I am not going to post what I am thinking!!!!!!!!

Bloody good job you didn't

:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Scandal
If more people said .... "I'm here to have experimental and exciting sex with ...... etc" instead of "I'm here to make new friends ... blah blah..." then things would be alot clearer.

errmm... not flirting with you here Scandal, honest...
but if I could combine those two phrases... and have them work...Id be happy....
sounds like a good combo to me...
Its making it work though eh?
which brings us back to the original qustion... Bugger!
or just getting known in the first place, to have some *signs* to read...
hmm... more munches perhaps?... should I? should I?
>have I gone off at a tangent here?
LP

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Dawnie

I am not going to post what I am thinking!!!!!!!!

Bloody good job you didn't

:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:
I don't like being banned ;)
Getting the thread back on track *ahem* I am notoriously (sp FB ?) bad at spotting the signs whilst sober but they seem easier when I have had the occasional drink... innocent

Maybe because I am more relaxed and receptive to the signs ? dunno

I also find the "Hey would you like a shag?" approach works :thumbup:
Minx x x

4 Sep 2006

Quote by firelizard
So how did you lot get over it ?

The fact is that it is virtually impossible to read any signs from a potentially new contact when conversing on forum. The number of people who say they're crap at and who aren't really, is testament to that.
So there's nothing to get over or learn really.
Inevitably if you have a good bit of flirty banter with someone, it'll usually end up in a PM or two. Depending on what sort of person they are things can go a number of ways. If we converse well in PM then, after I'm sure there's some sort of friendship there, I would usually make it sexier and sexier- trying avoid it being smutty. To get to a point where you really feel you have read the sign can take ages. It is a slow way and not a very Swingy way but I need to like people I'm going to have sex with. And the whole process of getting to know someone like this is just a wonderful experience.
The only word of caution I would offer single blokes who are talking to the female of a couple is to make sure that the man part of the couple is aware and happy with the way it's going - early on. Fact is he may hate yer guts and it only causes pain and grief to find out later and can ruin a good friendship too.
Alternatively, what Meaty said :thumbup: (but a lot slowerfor me!).
.

4 Sep 2006

Quote by westerross
Inevitably if you have a good bit of flirty banter with someone, it'll usually end up in a PM or two. Depending on what sort of person they are things can go a number of ways. If we converse well in PM then, after I'm sure there's some sort of friendship there, I would usually make it sexier and sexier- trying avoid it being smutty. To get to a point where you really feel you have read the sign can take ages. It is a slow way and not a very Swingy way but I need to like people I'm going to have sex with. And the whole process of getting to know someone like this is just a wonderful experience.

That how it was for me only it took a little longer to PM than that. Weve had a social meet and it was a fantastic time. Just to have a social meet was a big enough thing for me at this moment.
I allways thought the flirting was just banter and hoped it wasn't and i had to be told to PM.
Maybe i need be a bit quicker and just ask. It really should be that simple.
I've also been to my first munch and on list for two more and hopefully this will help understand more by learning stuff.

4 Sep 2006

Quote by Abilene
I have now decided the only way I am going to get my point across is to just go naked and jump in someones lap !!!!

ooohhh so if you do that at the north london social does that mean you fancy me?? ......... if it doesn;t and you do jump in me lap can you be careful not to spill me beer? :grin:

Quote by Freckledbird
Ooooooooo it's a wonder anyone gets shagged on here innit?

errr yes

4 Sep 2006

That wasn't a complaint by the way. I'm flirty and gobby but surprisingly shy about asking people, or picking up on signs that they might be interested. So, if you are, speak up! :lol:

4 Sep 2006

Well if the truth be known..........
H generally knows whats going on, but with me a woman could have a big neon sign on her head and I'd still miss it, and I'm shy when it comes to giving signals unless I'm pished in which case 9 time out of 10 it's a waste of time anyway smile

4 Sep 2006

Can you read these signs?? lol

:lol: :lol: :lol:

4 Sep 2006

'ang on sarge let me find me glasses smile