:rotflmao: :rotflmao: there's a reply button on the article . . . . . . you reckon they'd print it? ;-) sir,
i was needless to say completely shocked and repulsed by my recent discovery in your august pages, that there are people in this world, and Britsh people at that, so steeped in their own depravity and corruption as to actually indulge in carnal relations within the confines of a parked car, or even worse, take al fresco passion into our beautiful woods and country parks! i am aghast that such debauched behaviour could so easily exist in our midst. quite rightly you disclosed the sickening fact, no doubt discovered through a long and arduous process of pain-staking research, that there are actually internet websites encouraging and promoting such shameless conduct, and catering for this vile behaviour! you are to be highly commended for such public spirited actions, no doubt at some considerable risk of exposure i would well imagine, and i shall be writing to the lord mayor to ask for some official recognition of the part you have played in bringing these horrors to public attention!
i am somewhat bemused and confused by the attitude of the officer who claimed that nothing could be done about this factory of filth, given that it is located somewhere in the midlands, beyond the reach of our local constabulary. the fact that none of these seedy goings-on are actually illegal is clearly perverse, and should not prevent us from using all means available to ensure that never again should these people be free to sully the good name of bournemouth and besmirch the good morals of our citizens. i propose patrols of eagle-eyed upstanding pillars of our local community watch over our places of natural beauty, and so keep them free from use such as this.
following your excellent advice on how to find this website, i have now seen for myself the very vilest perversions, just as you described! somewhat understandably, i was in no position to make head nor tail of the codes they all no doubt use to avoid detection, disguising their evil plans as innocent conversation or utterly non-sensical so-called humour! i saw for myself how they claim even to have contacts within our noble constabulary, and yet offer so-called advice on how to best to blatantly flout the law and all decent standards of proper conduct, and so avoid any possible recourse for their sordid actions. can you imagine my absolute horror when i discovered that not only do these people shamelessly brag about the most sickening sexual practices, they actually make photographs, taken in flagrante delecto as it were, available to other users of this disease-ridden quagmire, with which they no doubt hope to entice still more to their sickening lifestyle.
clearly something must be done. i cannot imagine that such conduct would ever have occurred to the good residents of Bournemouth, we're it not for the existence of this festering pile of putresence, but even the slightest risk that some poor, naive, misguided, fool will accidentally find their way into this haven of corruption is a risk up with which i will not put! i am of course certain that it is outside elements responsible, and non of our neighbours, friends, or family have been sucked into this den of inequity fortunately. this so-called website is solely responsible for an assult on our very morals, our way of life, our fine, decent, community, and we must do all in our power to prevent the loss of a single innocent member, for who knows what vile acts might be perpetrated once seduced and ensnared by such as these, when the most innocent sounding language is used to veil the hideous truth! i hardly dare to mention the disgusting images i found while investigating what i believed to be a barbecue style outing described as a spitroast! that anyone could find pleasure in such degrading acts is truly beyond my understanding!
fortunately we have not yet succumbed to their worst excesses as yet! are you aware for example of the actual existence of so-called swinging-clubs where the most wanton acts of carnal lust are provided for! there are even claims that swingers-parties have been held here, in Bournemouth, in the past, but clearly, noone would be so foolish as to disclose the real locations of these rampant orgies of anonymous sex, wife- swapping, and unrestrained hedonism, so i am entirely certain this was yet another of their devious codes. i'm sure you will all agree that we must be on our guard, ever vigilant, if we are to ensure that our beloved town never hosts such cess-pools!
Yours in extreme constipation,
Colonel Chupachup Hampton ( Ret ) DSO DSM etc
:roll: :roll: 
