lol...as a single guy...you take it as par for the course !!
Tis part n parcel ov the course Gurliiiiii. Everybody has different tastes and what may not be 'their cuppa tea' may well be somebody else's. So we smile dust ourselves off and carry on.
For me, rarely do i ever ask for anything, i'm ole fashioned and believe that if they are really interested and want to get to know you then they will ask. Yep i'm cheeky, but thats just me, and i have learned to wear a mask when needed.
Yep i fear rejection, who doesn't but it is the way you handle it that is the main key, remember everybody is different in what they want or require..........wat may not be right for them or you may well be right for the next person.
So chin up, take it on the chin and carry on smiling xxxxx
I think one of the reasons why I've constructed a very clear identity for myself is precisely to avoid rejection. The lack of fuzzy edges makes its easier to discriminate between those who would suit and those who would not suit, and that means I can turn 'rejection' into 'incompatibility' which is a much nicer concept.
I don't know if that helps, but I'll also say this. That idea didn't fall from the sky - it came from experiencing rejection, and not liking it. Fearing rejection is pretty much universal at some stage in our lives. Being rejected is pretty much universal as well. You seem to have a pretty good handle on that truth, but maybe there's one further truth you need to put in your pocket for the dark nights. If someone's daft enough (or as much in need of specsavers, as Kaz puts it) to turn you down, they'd probably have been a lousy shag anyway, either because they can't see that you're ideal for them, or because you're not ideal for them. So it's worth fronting up to 'em, and asking; they may be feeling exactly the same fear of rejection as you.
This is not the place to recount this anecdote, but I'll recount it anyway, just to lower the tone. We've all heard the story of the single bloke in a disco, who walks up to every woman there and asks i she fancies a fuck. A rugby team mate of mine did that every time we went out as a team. I've seen it work, and I've seen him be escorted off the premises by the bouncers. The best was when an offended lady poured her drink over him, and he stood there with a glace cherry in his hair, and quietly said 'So no chance of a blowjob either then?' Now that's another way of handling rejection.
i found that after sufficient rejections i have a slighty thicker skin. also a better reckoning of the types that i would not be suited to. also my profile is brief and more in the way of saying what i do and where i am rather than a wish list. but as far as answering ads goes, you can be conveniently rejected on anything you put in your profile.
also there is a rejection fetish. i have seen some dreadful incidents where people have proceeded around a club confronting people and being instantly rejected. it wasn,t a pretty sight or business. it happened quite badly in sauna club one night, where an aging woman got louder the more rejectons she got. sad but also self destuctive. but there may well be other rebuilding processes at work underneath it all.
actually it was in rio's. even you wouldn't have brucie. she got off her face and quite awful. no one wanted her by then.
brucie, it was more to do with her making herself get rejected, in a weird kind of way. once it became apparent it simply turned guys off. and she wasn't by most standards unattractive but her attitude and behaviour was. spooky and unpleasant.
"No" is just a little more fuel to keep you moving down the line until you come to "yes". I have too many rejection tales to tell but won't bore you with them. They don't trouble me any; generally it all comes down to a numbers game, if you ask enough people your question someone will give a positive response, and don't be surprised when some of the "no's" change their mind later. xx
I dont experience rejection via this website cos Im very particular about who I choose and invest a lot of time and effort into that choice. If i were to be rejected at an early stage then its no great loss so it doesnt even register. If its not meant to be its not meant to be. I wouldnt arrange to meet anyone I hadn't got to know. Timewasters are not really a problem for me because I dont go for the quick meet. By the time I arrange to meet someone I know them well enough to know theyll turn up as will I.
I have a severe phobia of rejection in real life (stems from switching schools in my childhood). So much so I tend not to approach people I don't know for fear of rejection, so to compensate I force myself into social situations where I can't avoid it. That's part of the beauty of the site to me, you get to meet and know people without actually doing either, so the rejection isn't quite a rejection... if you follow.
Great post Gurly! How I feel about rejection varies greatly depending on how much I feel I've invested in the person/idea/desire. If it's just seeing someone at a club that I fancy and it doesn't work out then I brush it off. As Dean said it's par for the course for a single guy and more so for an old single guy:-)
On the other hand if it's someone I know and like and the rejection shows I've misread the signals, I feel bad because not only have I been rejected but because there is a chance that a friendship has also been damaged by my 'mistake'. Worst of all of course is when you get rejection from someone you care really deeply about; no one can just brush that off and it hurts like hell:-(
As many have said already, anyone who rejects you must be seriously weird, short-sighted or has taken a vow of chastity:-) Don't sweat the petty things, there are far more couples that would say yes to you than would say no, I'd bet a fortune on that! Just accept that some people don't have the sense to grab opportunity when it knocks and move on to someone with better taste:-)
Hugs babe x
I've seen the word 'invest' used more than once here, surely we shouldn't be talking of rejection, it should be profit/loss/balance sheet etc?