lol yeh we should of i think we should start a problem page!!!! hee hee hee
love lou xxxx
Kit-off, we've spoken about your situation so I'm not going to coment on this thread about it, but what I did want to say is, someone once said to me, "you're ONLY a mother". There was a lot he said before he made that coment, but that's the one he knew would cut to the quick. Why? Because to me being a mother is one heck of a responsibility, and having a mother who didn't have the maturnal instinct to bother raising the five children she had 13 months apart from each other she abandoned us. She's the kinda mother that would have eaten her young in the wild.
For me the scariest part of being a mom is not nowing if I'm doing it right or wrong, and knowing I'll only recognise my mistakes when it's too late, when the adults they are to become is revealed. By then it may be too late to change. Anaother issue for me is wanting my boys to come home to visit 'cause they WANT to and not because it's xmas, motherday etc
So yes, I may ONLY be a mom. But I'm a bloody good one!!
In my experience the surest way to annoy people is to tell them they are wrong and the best way to really annoy them is to prove it to them !
The trick is to make the other person " think" they are solving the problem , without any loss of face or having to admit being wrong ! ( I reccommend reading a copy of how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carneigie.) Our parents can only grow older but in their eyes whatever age we are, we are still their "children"
Yep you said it kit off ! you are still her child even though you are an adult ! read the book, change your tactics ! to win hearts and minds !
My mother father and sister are all gone now and there is not a day go by that I don’t think of them, I was always a jack the lad always doing thing that a good Christian lad would never do, but my mum was always there for me and my sister. So don’t do as I did make thing good with her when she has gone then it is to late to tell her how much you love her.
I think the only way is to put your feelings down on paper so that you have a plan of what you wish to say, then sit her down and tell here how you feel. The only problem with this is that she may tell you things you do not wish to know. You must be prepared for this.
I do hope things work out for you.
Kit-off,
I can't begin to imagine what pain you must feel. We are taught that the bond we have with our parents is second only to that we feel for our children and so when a situation like yours arises there can be few emotional pains that equal it. Family are supposed to be the ones to protect you when the outside world attacks you but from what I have observed (and luckily have not experienced) is that families often cause more pain to each other than any stranger possibly can. There is that saying, 'you can choose your friends but you can't choose your relatives' - cliche it might be but it is so very true.
Maybe people are right when they say you should always try and patch things up with your family before it is too late (and I know a bit about that after my father died when I was six) but there is also the reality that you may never be able to patch things up in this lifetime. The question you have to ask yourself is whether the attempt is worth the heartache if it fails. I think the letter is a good idea (and you can always give it to your sister to pass on - assuming she will do this?) but after that I think you should concentrate on rebuilding your life without your mother in it. In an ideal world she would be there with you and you would resolve your difficulties but you know, more than I do, that life is not always that accommodating. There is no easy choice to make but maybe a better one for you is to concentrate on getting the most out of your life rather than clinging to the bad things and to people that are not as decent as you.
Find someone who deserves your love and givce it to them rather than wasting it on someone who doesn't. Sorry if that sounds blunt but....
I wish you all the best,
H
Lou,
You have my best wishes too. Hopefully your family will come around one day. Fingers crossed!
H xx
you can choose your friends but not your family.....a cliche but true....i can't stand my old dear and have little to do with her but don't burn any bridges just yet.....unless you've REALLY had enough...i think you may know what i mean...good luck xxx
but hey im me and if people dont like it ,well its tuff cookies!!!! 
