Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

Reply to add or the lack off

last reply
38 replies
1.5k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Ok people please bear with me on this one as i can talk bollax and make no sense now i know this is not a quick shag site and i'm not complaining about having no reply it just somthing that has been toying with me and caused me to have a lot of thought about it
i have browse the photo add carefully then responded politly with more than one line about my self etc, now some of the messages have been read but i have had no reply back fro the other person even if its to say no so i think well should i take it as a no or do they require more info or what as i dont want to look pushy, i then leave it and go back in to the adds only to find the same adds with update such as "still not found the person looking for etc" and i'm think well what more do you want blood FFS so i'm hope to throw this out as a discussion for as much help as possible anyone
Quote by felixx1416
i'm not complaining

errr... yeah.... right......
ok then so i should just keep send email to then untill they get pissed off
Felix, you've been a member since December and you have over 250 posts - surely you've seen this kind of post before? People won't/don't reply to every pm/email they get - that's just the way it is. Coming in here moaning about it won't achieve anything and has been done many many times before. The only thing it might achieve is that you look like a whinger.
i'm not moaning i'm confused and really don't lnow what to do
Honest
should i just take it as a no if i dont recive a reply back and never contact them again
Quote by felixx1416
... then leave it and go back in to the adds only to find the same adds with update such as "still not found the person looking for etc" and i'm think well what more do you want blood FFS ...

Nope they don't want blood (and try not to take this the wrong way) they just didn't want you or any of the other people who replied. Or may be they did like some of the other people who replied and still want to meet more.
There is no rule that says when you place an ad you have to chose someone to meet from the first batch of replies. There is no rule you have to meet anyone (especially if they are not what you are looking for).
I am sure you didn't mean it the way it could be taken - that you are impying people shouldn't be so bloody fussy and take what they are offered. But people do have preferences. If the photo ads are your primary source of arranging meets - you just need to be patient to find the ones who you match with.
Thank you polo
The thing is i dont want to come over pushy thats all
wow i have over 270 post cracking
Quote by felixx1416
Thank you polo
The thing is i dont want to come over pushy thats all

If they don't reply - take it as a 'no thanks'.
Whilst I do not suffer from shyness - some people find it difficult to send out 'no thanks' replies.
There are of course other reasons people don't reply - but it is safer to assume it means 'no thanks'.
You also have to think that on the photo ads, someones decision about meeting you is based on that one email and photos you have sent. The competition (hate to call it that, but that is what it is) is very high and maybe for the ads you have replied to, you just didnt fit their requirements.
At least with the forums, we do get to see a bit more about the person, personality, etc but not everyone wants to know if you are a nice guy or not and that is not a bad thing, it is just a different way of doing things.
Polo i love you ok that has help with my turmoil
Like Pololady said, some people have trouble telling others they're not interested for whatever reason so it's easier for them not to reply others are just not polite enough to bother. To be honest, I've had more success through the chatrooms and forums than the ads. I only use them to learn about the people I'm chatting to rather than searching them for a playmate.
Quote by Sassy-Seren
Like Pololady said, some people have trouble telling others they're not interested for whatever reason so it's easier for them not to reply others are just not polite enough to bother. To be honest, I've had more success through the chatrooms and forums than the ads. I only use them to learn about the people I'm chatting to rather than searching them for a playmate.

Ooooh never thourght about that but that big old chat room is very scary
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopicpage/75672/20.html
Read this... espcially page 2, 4th post down wink
Quote by felixx1416
Like Pololady said, some people have trouble telling others they're not interested for whatever reason so it's easier for them not to reply others are just not polite enough to bother. To be honest, I've had more success through the chatrooms and forums than the ads. I only use them to learn about the people I'm chatting to rather than searching them for a playmate.

Ooooh never thourght about that but that big old chat room is very scary
try Jo's Place in chatroom 2. That's where a lot of the bods from here go to and you'll see some familiar faces or not as the case may be rolleyes
Quote by PoloLady
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopicpage/75672/20.html
Read this... espcially page 2, 4th post down wink

Blimey. I'm deffinately doing something wrong, You mean people actually reply when you post an add?
H.x
A single Female could easily receive 300 replies to an ad within a week.
Of those 300 there maybe 3 replies that she wants to follow up. That leaves 297 that are no thanks but no thanks. If she copies and pastes a you are not what I am looking for type of reply and we say each each email takes 60 seconds to compile and send, that is almost 5 hours worth of emails a week. She then takes the chance that people are going to reply again saying what was wrong with my reply, or couldn't you have taken the time to send an individual response?
Far easier and more sensible to just reply to those that take your fancy and ignore those that don't. confused :? :? :? :? :? :?
I don't know where this idea just came from but......
You want to insure your car/house/life.
You contact a number of insurance companies.
They send you their best quote.
Do you reply to them all saying "no thanks, I found a more suitable policy elsewhere"
If they keep ringing you and sending you letters asking if you are interested in their quote or not and if not why wasn't it good enough - do you get pissed off with them?
Maybe i frazed this the wrong way if i get no response then i take it's a no thats is what i want to know
Quote by PoloLady
I don't know where this idea just came from but......
You want to insure your car/house/life.
You contact a number of insurance companies.
They send you their best quote.
Do you reply to them all saying "no thanks, I found a more suitable policy elsewhere"
If they keep ringing you and sending you letters asking if you are interested in their quote or not and if not why wasn't it good enough - do you get pissed off with them?

Great analogy.. i like it...
my thoughts on this topic are pretty straightforward...
ive been a member since late last year (b4 the changes) and since that ive probably replied to about 100 adverts.... couples seeking men and women seeking men.... about 20 % have replied.... about 5% have ended up in meets....ive met more people through munches rather than the adverts.
in recent times ive asked in my reply that the recipient take the time to reply even if they arent interested.. and to their credit... a couple of replies have been forthcoming....
id add that i take careful note of the advice that is regularly given on this forum and accordingly i will never now get wound up due to lack of replies or the like.... that's the nature of the beast.
i have to say that in order to meet people off the site you need to employ a number of different tactics... its a challenge... and to be honest, if its not working for you... then you should consider giving up!!!! sorry to be blunt, but thats me!
rolleyes
when replying to an add or a message on forum you have normally one chance to get people's interest and make them want to know more about you, There is more sigle males out there than cpl's or single fems. So maybe one liner's what ever they say, no profile or just a cock pic does not work for all,
A politely worded sentence or two, a full profile and a body pic, (Clothed or unclothed) makes us take notice and want to chat more to the person sending the message even if it's a no thanks.
J n B
Quote by felixx1416
Maybe i frazed this the wrong way if i get no response then i take it's a no thats is what i want to know

Yes, take it as a no if they dont bother replying lol
Thank chuff for cut and paste lol Felix I wrote this in another thread I hope it helps, althought is question has been answerd loads of times so you should have no shortage of advice to go at.
Quote by sheddy
I can't ad much that not already been said however I have seen a single females in box first hand and it ain't pretty :shock: :shock:
Even with no ad or an ad thats been up for a while there is a constant stream of Pm's at a rate of 3 or 4 an hour mainly all one liners and from unsuitable matches trying their luck.
With a newly posted ad the situation gets worse with PM's coming in on a per second basis :shock:
So it's a case of she really hasn't got the time to respond to all, However some genuinely arn't worth a response.
Now what would i do with out you two to help me cheers guys
Quote by sheddy
I can't ad much that not already been said however I have seen a single females in box first hand and it ain't pretty :shock: :shock:
Even with no ad or an ad thats been up for a while there is a constant stream of Pm's at a rate of 3 or 4 an hour mainly all one liners and from unsuitable matches trying their luck.
With a newly posted ad the situation gets worse with PM's coming in on a per second basis :shock:
So it's a case of she really hasn't got the time to respond to all, However some genuinely arn't worth a response.

10 in 3 days isn't good then :shock:
Back to the drawing board.
H.x
Quote by H-x
10 in 3 days isn't good then :shock:
Back to the drawing board.
H.x

Eeh! You make me laff you do! smile
It has probably been said before countless times, but it does bear saying again.
You only get out what you put in!
Lonni xxx
Quote by Lonni

10 in 3 days isn't good then :shock:
Back to the drawing board.
H.x

Eeh! You make me laff you do! smile
It has probably been said before countless times, but it does bear saying again.
You only get out what you put in!
Lonni xxx
Yes and what she's put in is a well worded description of exactly what she is looking for so she should reap results :)
Quote by sheddy
Yes and what she's put in is a well worded description of exactly what she is looking for so she should reap results smile

Oops! A bit of a misunderstanding here! My post meant to convey two unrelated things.
1. H-x makes me laugh. (this is the 2nd. funny thing she has posted today!) and
2.A bit of general advice to anyone who thinks they can get away with a one-line reply to an advert.
No.2 was not directed at H-x. She is lovely and had a really good advert as you say.
As you were. :)
Lonni xxx
Well thank you both!
Unfortunately, my post would have been funny if it weren't true!
But thanks to some good advice the replies have now increased to a pathetic trickle, far better than the barely noticable seepage of earlier. biggrin
:D H.x