I say discuss it all. It's not like on your first meet over a drink, you aren't sussing each other out and making an impression as to proceed or not, so why not go the full hogg as you're all there for adult fun no matter what level.
I think you've got to set out boundaries and ask all the questions of who, doing what, when, to whome, with etc then it means you're not on edge on the night and you can relax knowing how far things can go and with who.
Now I'm tending to ramble on as well......so in short, yes ask before and know where you stand.
I know when we first started swinging allllll those years ago (ok, so it's only been 6....), prior to meeting a couple, we used to if anything over-analyse what everyone wanted and was looking for to make sure we knew the boundaries, it may have seemed a little over the top, but at least everyone was clear from the out set what we all wanted.
I think over the years, that has relaxed considerably and on more than one occasion we've been 'caught out' where we've misconstrued the signals and ended up a little red-faced - nothing extremely embarassing, but enough to make things a little awkward.
I think it's a good idea to know what the limits are before you meet, then there can be no awkward situations to deal with.
Just my two-penneth worth......
ask em when chatting in the meet
what exactly u looking 4
do you think we fit the bill
r we ur cup of tea
what would be your ideal meet with us tonight
stuff like that
Hi there...
For once we know what were talking about here as we have had similar problems and yes it can be a right pain lol.
We always mention what each others likes and dislikes are during the first meet just bringing it in to general chit chat as such rather than a list of must and must nots... we always find its more important to make clear the real No No's for each assuming we were to all carry on and have a little fun... better to know before you actually get down to it.
Don't beat yourselves up though, its all a learning curve and if like us you intend seeing people more than once then you build on the fun over time its far better to get to know and make people relaxed with trust and respect! No need to make everything happen in one night eh lol..
Mike and Julie x
That was we as in 'We' Julie and I lol....
Ooerr Put me foot in it again lol..
This can be confusing sometimes. On the one hand you can 'lay down the law' and set too strict a tone, on the other if you don't say anything people either take liberties or end up doing nothing.
A lot of couples and singles just use their hands to talk for them. Its either the hand that leads you to the spot or takes you away from it. That works for some.
But its very often that people are frustrated by some deeper desire to do something new and can't bring themselves to talk about it or get down to it. this gets in the way of the simpler startup and foreplay.
You will acquire more confidence, but this is also something which is dependent on your own experiences and the people you meet.
I think there's nothing wrong with stating very clearly about what you enjoy doing and asking what the other parties concerned feel about that and what they wish to do,especially to establish how far the play will go.
we had a similar situation.. we had discussed with all what each other would like and not like etc..we met at a pub had a drink and then as planned came back to ours but thats where it got awkward (hope spelt right)...we all sat there chatting in our own couples but all joining in the conversation but no one was willing to make the first move on a physical side.. we were both new couples and maybe that was our mistake..
I'd say talk before the 1st meet if you can. Some folk might find it easier to discuss things over messenger etc than they would in person, particularly if they're new to all this. It can be rather intimiditating. If they're happy talking in person even better.
Talk first then Tango !! lol
Yes talk about it!
...but even having said what you are all going to do respect anyone and all if they slow things down or call a stop. The dream is sometimes different to the fact. People can change their mind and do, be aware of this and respect it.
How ironic,
Just listened to a public information advert on the radio suggesting that single men should get a definite and affirmitive YES before proceeding - hopefully with the added security of a written contract signed and witnessed.
Perhaps this is the way forward for Swinging Couples.............
Print out a menu with tick boxes and swap the menu around ......yawn.... that way ..yawn ..you would all zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
i kind of agree with sexysara? it's best to establish rules at the outset, but then again i think you can really over-analyse things?
if you've got absolute no-nos, not in any circumstances, ever, then yeah, get them out before anything happens, but for me the point is exploring things, and seeing where you go. establishing hard and fast rules about everything kinda defeats the point, and i don't think anyone really knows how far they're gonna go with someone until they find themselves in that situation, and suddenly all the boundaries you thought you had might go right out the window if something clicks into place between you all?
leaving yourself open does sometimes result in really tricky situations, that involve lots of thinking about after the fact, but that's where you find what you're comfy with? ultimately, IMO, boundaries shift all the time, depending on who you're with? right time, right people, right place . . . .
neil x x x ;)
do we really make that little since normally then :lol: :lol: 
