Burgers, chips, beans and two slices of bread.
Pop the chips in the oven for 30 mins ( that includes warm-up time), start grilling the burgers some 15 mins later, turning once as per instructions on the box, stick the beans in a saucepan and butter two slices of Hovis.
Sounds easy enough doesn't it. A bloody kid could do it ffs.
...............Not when you get distracted.
Chips in the oven, no probs. What to do for the next 15 mins, or rather what NOT to do - put the computer on.
Let it go through virus checker, as it does like. Check emails, delete the spam about car insurance and bank loans, mmmm, porn and viagra, better keep those two, you never know when they might come in handy.
Finish with the emails and into Swinging Heaven. Major mistake.
Into The Cafe strolls I, haven't got long, just a quick look around, come out and continue with tea. Well it sounded like plan.
Better check the chips first, they are doing nicely. Stick burgers under the grill whilst I'm here and a low heat under the beans (well 3 sounded low enough to me). Excellent, Jamie Olivers job - piece of piss
Back to the comp and look for the thread refering to Blue and Satins party, thank everyone that made the evening absolutely brilliant, which was easy done because you just thanked everyone. Really was a brilliant party.( Thankyou, once again).
Right, move on to a few more threads. Read a few, post replies to a couple, read a few more..................how long have I been here????
why hasn't the cooker timer gone off???????
Bollox
The chips look like burnt matches, the burgers have been blackened on one side and as raw as Morbius' arse on the other (to those not at the party, wait for the pics :shock: ) and the beans have been welded to the bottom of the saucepan. Well it couldn't get much worse I suppose.
Suppose again, Nomad. Your bread is still in the bastard freezer.
Bollox again
Try to salvage what I can of the chips and throw away the worst of the black ones, which leaves me about half of what I started with, turn the burgers over and try to blacken the other side just for consistancy. Now for the beans, they are another story. Only the top half inch will release from the pan, the rest have been become one black mass of carbon. Scrape out what you can and chuck the rest in the sink to soak for the next 3 hours, at least I got a few. Finally, micro some bread for 30 seconds and hey presto! What a (half)plate of crap.
Nevermind, smother it in brown sauce and get it down you, you wimp.
Not my fault of course that my tea was burnt, oh no. I blame you lot on Swinging Heaven.
If you didn't post so much I would have less to read and my tea would be edible (in theory, anyway).
So, to the mods, can you please disable my account between 5pm and 6pm, just long enough to get some food inside me please :D
On the plus side, the pudding was perfect - a packet of Mini-Cheddars. Opened to perfection.
Tomorrow I am phoning the Pizza Plaza, its a lot easier
Right. Thats my rant over. If you have read all of this, well done.
And if your tea as burnt whilst you have been reading this..............................
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
:dunno: :doh:
