Road trip from hell

31 Jan 2005

The road trip was planned in advance. Nothing could possibly go wrong...............no nothing at all.
The plan........start at 10:00 with Marya and Alex_Female. Leisurely drive to Sheffield and pick up Freckledbird. Then leisurely drive to the Essex munch. Not a problem.......
09:45 go to pick up Marya. Arrive at house and expect her to be ready.........no chance. Yap, yap yapping on the SH chatroom. Go to car and remove crowbar. Prise Marya away from the computer in fits of tears.........."But its my life she wails". No sympathy given. Carry her to car and put her in, plus quilt and pillows. Return to house and find a "small" suitcase. You know the ones, when you usually go on holiday for two weeks.
10:00 Return to pick up Alex_Female. Take my small bag and clothes on hangers to car. Go to help Alex_Female with her carry-all. Last time I had seen a carry-all that big was when the sherpas are taking the mountain climbers up Mount Everest. Re-arrange the boot and place my stuff on top. Just manage to close the boot. Return to house and pick up the "nibbles" for the trip down. Carry the cold box to the car, with enough food to have fed Napoleons Grande Armee.
10:15 woohoooooooooooo we are off. Steering a bit light with the weight of the bags in the boot. But we are on our way.
10:25 Marya "I have forgotten something"
10:35 Back at Marya's to pick the something up
10:40 Woohoooooooooo we are off.............again
12:00 Just off the M1 junction. Give Freckledbird a call. D_N "How do I get to your pickup point." F-B "Go around the roundabout........till you are nearly going North again......and thats the turn off." D_N "The one signposted city?" F-B "No....the one before it". Around the bloody roundabout again.
12:10 Pick up Freckledbird. She jumps in car. I re-arrange the boot again and jump on boot trying to close it. How big was that bag?????? Shaking head at the amount I have squeezed into the boot.
12:15 woohooooooo we are off..........again. The steering has got even lighter. Thinking about tying a roadside kerb to the front bumper to even out the weight, and get heavier steering.
12:45 Washer bottle decides to be empty, so a quick stop at a service station. Jump out and return with water. Just in time to see cigarettes being thrown out of the windows.............at a bloody petrol station!!!!!!!!! Not just thrown anywhere..........no, thats too obvious......but into the parched and dry bushes surrounding the petrol station. I only have two ashtrays in the car.........but I suppose they weren't good enough. Then notice police car parked directly in front of us. Jump into the car and get out of there PDQ. Hansell and Gretall laid a trail of sweets to find their way back..........we can get back up north by following the shells of burnt out petrol stations!!!!!
12:50 woohooooo we are off............again
13:30 Alex_Female gets navigator head on. Out comes the map. I have to admit that she looked like she knew what she was doing. I was impressed.
13:35 After she has been studying the map for a while.......I take a peek. "Thats Cornwall darling" WALLOP!!!!!!!!
13:45 Pick up signs for Cambridge. Alex_Female has now found the right part of the country. "I have found where we are" she yells. "Where?" I asked. "There". she points. "Thats Cambridgeshire darling, it's the City you are looking for." WALLOP!!!!!!!
14:00 A_F "Did you print the directions out Dave". D_N "Yes". A_F "Where are they?" D_N "On the table at home" WALLOP!!!!!!!!!!
14:15 A_F gives up map reading and decides to fold map up.
14:30 A_F gives up and squashes it back into the map pocket, five times the size it was before. D_N "Did you follow the creases that were already there darling?" WALLOP!!!!!!!!
14:45 D_N plays practical joke on A_F by pretending he has missed the junction on the M25. WALLOP!!!!!!!!! Last time I do that.
Approx 15:00 Arrive at munch venue. TFFT.
Neilinleeds..................and you said I was a lucky what??????? If that was lucky........I would bloody hate to be unlucky.
The bits I have missed out was the yap, yip and rabbit..................and it was as bad as I thought.
Dave_Notts

31 Jan 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
sorry dave, yeah i can kinda see where you were coming from now! bolt

but i'd still have sqeezed in the back seat! lol

neil x x x ;)

31 Jan 2005

You didn't have to stop at every other service station for the girls to have a pee? :shock:
Wow, you really did get away lightly didn't you? lol

Steve

31 Jan 2005

I couldnt think of anything nicer than to be in the car with Marya and Alex_female for hours
Dave you lucky guy!!!
lol

:lol: :lol:

31 Jan 2005

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
That pales my outdoor sex antics story into insignificance!
Dave_Notts you must have the patience of a Saint wink

xxxxx
maz xxx (getting ready to be WALLOPED by Alex_Female, Marya and Freckledbird)

31 Jan 2005

Thanks for that bbw...love you too confused

Steve, they did stop at a service station for tea and wee. I didn't cos I'd only been in car about 20 minutes and rationed myself to 2 mugs of tea all morning. They wouldn't buy Dave_Notts a cuppa because it was lol

Neil, there would have been plenty of room for you betwen me and Marya, and we were flashing some bits of flesh too wink

And Maz, I think we need a vote...your 'almost dogging' and the 'road trip from hell' :lol:
Bev
xx

31 Jan 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Love it :!: Thanks for that Dave. It felt like being there - yup I know - I yer dreams!!

31 Jan 2005

.............and i bet you loved every minute of it mate lol

It certainly make good reading biggrin

1 Feb 2005

No wonder you had a pint in your hands for most of the evening.... lol

1 Feb 2005

Dave, it sounds like you had a great time. lol

:lol:

(Have another kiss)
Roger. :twisted:

1 Feb 2005

Stop bumping your gums, you know you loved having three gorgeous, attractive, not to mention sexy ladies in your car cool

Love ya babe kiss

, roll on a week on Thursday xxxxxxxxxxx

1 Feb 2005

Psssst, Dave, has she told you you are likely to get a stinking cold too....... :uhoh:
Venusxxx

1 Feb 2005

Nie one dave, a joyus story to brighten up my so far boreing day.
BUT
In a ar with three jabbering women, you should get a medal

1 Feb 2005

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
I'm my defence, I'd like to point out that i was positively well-behaved, polite and good natured throughout the entirety of the journey.
At no point did I ask "are we there yet?" or "stop, I need a wee wee" or even "I'm gonna be sick" - well, not till Alex started muttering on about spuff :shock:
I put up with Dave and Alex's bickering, Frecklebird (Feck, Fickle??) picking up on my grammar and all three of them yip yap rabbiting while I was trying to snooze!
The Road Trip for Hell prize goes to me!

1 Feb 2005

You know when kids are sitting in the car, two minutes into a four hour journey, going 'mum are we there yet' That's Marya lol

:lol:
She nearly opened the bloody car door and jumped out when we saw the sign that said 'Welcome to Essex' Dropped half the contents of her sarnie down her sweater rolleyes

:shock:
I think that might have been when she wet herself :lol: :lol: :lol:
Bev
xx

1 Feb 2005

Quote by Alex_Female
Stop bumping your gums, you know you loved having three gorgeous, attractive, not to mention sexy ladies in your car
Love ya babe , roll on a week on Thursday xxxxxxxxxxx

You know I did wink

. Especially you my gorgeous woman.
Roll on a week on Thursday, love ya babes xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dave_Notts

1 Feb 2005

Quote by rogerthedragon
Dave, it sounds like you had a great time. :lol:
(Have another kiss)
Roger. :twisted:

Another :shock: :shock:
Hell........I even end up with men wanting snogs off me.
Next munch is Valentines. Start the line to get your snogs :twisted: :twisted:
Dave_Notts

1 Feb 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
ohhh yes wonderfull post Dave, I can just see you driving along in a state of :shock: total bewilderment

1 Feb 2005

Quote by davej
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
ohhh yes wonderfull post Dave, I can just see you driving along in a state of :shock: total bewilderment

Praise from the master himself worship

:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:
:thrilled: :thrilled: :thrilled: :thrilled: :thrilled: :thrilled: :thrilled: :thrilled: I am overjoyed
Dave_Notts

1 Feb 2005

Quote by Alex_Female
Stop bumping your gums, you know you loved having three gorgeous, attractive, not to mention sexy ladies in your car

:dunno: :dunno: I thought you said he had you, Freckledbird and Marya in the car??????????

1 Feb 2005

Cheeky fecker Marcuso lol

:lol:
Bev xx
and
it's
F R E C K L E D B I R D

1 Feb 2005

Quote by freckledbird
Cheeky fecker Marcuso :lol:
Bev xx
and
it's
F R E C K L E D B I R D

lol........edited as per your wishes miss

1 Feb 2005

Quote by freckledbird
Cheeky fecker Marcuso :lol:
Bev xx
and
it's
F R E C K L E D B I R D

Did you say Ficklebird or Feckledbird?
Dave_Notts

1 Feb 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
You pair of daft sods. You haven't forgotten that I'll be in Leicester have you?
And Marcuso, I know where you live lol

Bev
xx

1 Feb 2005

Marcuso.............I don't know what you are doing? But I am going to the munch in disguise now.............anybody have any ideas, so Bev can't give me a smackbottom

Dave_Notts

1 Feb 2005

Dave, I won't need to see you, I'll be able to find you from the smell of fear and everyone pointing you out, they're a wicked bunch this lot lol

Anyway, Alex will help me :twisted:
Bev
xx

1 Feb 2005

Quote by freckledbird
Dave, I won't need to see you, I'll be able to find you from the smell of fear and everyone pointing you out, they're a wicked bunch this lot
Anyway, Alex will help me :twisted:
Bev
xx

Smell of fear??? Sorry hun, the smell comes from the after affects of fear redface

Dave_Notts

1 Feb 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Dirty bugger
Bev
xx

2 Feb 2005

Quote by freckledbird
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
You pair of daft sods. You haven't forgotten that I'll be in Leicester have you?
And Marcuso, I know where you live
Bev
xx

LOL.....yeah but you're a pussycat really babes.....xxxxxxxxxxxx
(that should get me back in her good books).........lol

2 Feb 2005

Quote by Marcuso
Stop bumping your gums, you know you loved having three gorgeous, attractive, not to mention sexy ladies in your car

:dunno: :dunno: I thought you said he had you, Freckledbird and Marya in the car??????????
Rainbows slides in and sits wating for the fireworks!!!
Oooh marcuso - you are sooooo for it!!!! lol

:lol: