Being newly single to swinging, and for those of u who dont know me its a short story sad ending . I am now contemplating the future its either gonna be sexless or sexfull. I have always admired single ladies who swing for obvious reasons but finding myself in the situation I am terrified. Therefore I am looking for saftey advice. I know it would be gr8 to have a friend who I could txt n say i am meeting "whoever" at "wherever" but in reality I dont have that unless I want to tell my closest friend that i may be a bit of a tart. Meeting at munches may be an option but they seem to be few and far between.
Having an emergency text/phone buddy would be advantageous - do you not have anyone from the site who could fill that role?
Other tips I would say include:
- if meeting at a hotel, book it in your name and on your card: that way the hotel have a record of you being there (sounds like total paranoia, but I feel it works for me.)
- if meeting at home, then make sure you have met socially first to suss the person out and I would defo have a phone contact you could text and say you are okay during and after the meet.
- don't drink (preferably at all, but certainly not to excess)
- make the person/couple you are meeting jump through a few 'hoops' before the meet. By that, I mean insist on a photograph, phone number, conversation and (if preferred) a social meet first. I generally have an idea of the set questions/discussion I am going to have with anyone I arrange a meet with: if their answers don't consistently add up, or anything feels a bit dodgy then I don't go ahead with the meet.
I cannot accommodate due to my circumstances - so always meet at hotels or occasionally at a club. The few times I have been able to accommodate, I have only met people I have already met and who I trust. I am wary of letting anyone into my home.
I am lucky in that I have a non-scene friend who is my confidante and knows what I do. She and I have a system that enables her to have all my details about any meet in case of emergency (without compromising my site usage)... but then we have been being each other's naughty-night-alibis since our uni days!!
Am sure may think of some more ideas...
Cheers ladies the car reg is a good idea deffo , dunno why I feel so vunerable its only sex but I do, ya would think it would be uncomplicated but it deffo aint.
When I started I tended to always meet for a social drink first and generally on a night when I had plans to meet others after, I found I was more relaxed knowing it was only a few drinks and that my friends were in town somewhere if I needed them. If I didnt feel comfortable or like him/them I had a great excuse to leave.
Yes, you have to be cautious but I think you'll find your gut instinct during chats, emails etc will help you decide who to meet.
It takes courage the first single meet but the buzz after for me made it well worth it lol ..... enjoy x
Always get to see the person on cam first their phots might be a few years old
a tip a friend gave me if ask to see their driving license so you can confirm who they are and make a note of the details
ask if they have meet anyone else off the site and get confirmation from the people
There's some good advice here and I think it would be a wise thing for some single men to take note too.
How many I wonder bother to protect themselves in any way to prevent them becoming victim to something unpleasant. Not that any of us here would want such a thing to happen.
Certainly the advice regarding a valued confidant is a good idea and I would have thought that as you have been here for quite a while, although not in your current position, that there would be someone locally to you that would assist, especially whilst you find your way as a single woman.
Should you decide to meet, after all the social introductions, it may be best to meet in neutral ground so your home remains the safest place to be. As it should be.
At a hotel card records can be traced and a real name has to used in order to use a card. Get them to pay even if you go halves in cash.
Don't drink alcohol , a clear head is one of the best things to have. Take the bare minimum with you, the less you have on your person the better and keep your valuables close by and observable, same with anything you drink.
Hope all goes well as no doubt it all looks rather daunting at the moment, but with all the friendly advice here how could it not.
Hi Joy
I think there is lots of good advice to be had on here.
I should be perfectly reasonable to meet up social first. I would suggest a lunch time – say your on lunch hour then there will be an easy end to the occasion if all is not what it seems. Lunchtime is less pressured than an evening drink – every reason to remain completely sober and then you will get to know the other person reasonably well. Clearly they could still be an axe murderer but hey !!
Having 2 older teenage daughters I have been horrified as to what can happen in pubs and clubs with various items added to drinks etc so I would always suggest avoiding those places for a first meeting.
I think the easiest first non social meeting should take place in a club – ok that may put off some people and I have no idea what the clubs are like around you. It does meant hat thre are lots of people around you who are there doing much the same and for whom there will be no embarrassment if things don’t go well. And three is always the added advantage that if there a crap shag and your unfulfilled then there will always be plenty of people around to choose to try for a better time.
I think the idea of a confident with whom you can text is a great one. I wonder if there are girls on this site who have seen it / done it all who would act in that capacity. – any volunteers ?
It is important to be relaxed otherwise the whole point will be wasted if your wondering about the person your with – they always say if you cant relax you cant enjoy and to me that defeats the object !
Anyways have fun
Alan
Safety tips for girls........
Stay in the kitchen............... :mrgreen:
Very welcome to use me as a emergency buddy hun
As a single male what I do is;
When I get to a meet, I phone my landline and leave a message saying address/car reg/descrpition etc etc.
cheers tan hunni, am deffo liking the answer machine idea easy to delete once am home safe ..........quick check of the photo driving licence..............do they have ya address on em ?
:smackbottom: :smackbottom:
-= i know I'll ask the little woman J erm J J!
ltns Tankinkiness... Hope all well. 
assionkiss:
:lol: :lol: :lol: