hi all, we put an ad up last night in lets meet up and the response was good, we were after a certain type of guy and there was a few that tickled our fancy, but saying no to the others is horrid, some take it better the others but some dont like rejection at all, surely its better to be honest then just ignore the ones that we wont go for? new to all this and advice would be great x
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saying no is hard
I asked for some similar advice recently (will find the link in a minute) and saying no wasn't easy so I spent some time writing a proper reply, giving a general reason and thanking them for taking the time to email and send pics.
I confess that I did copy and paste the thanks but no thanks note as there were a lot to send, making small amendments for some people.....I got nice replies back from most of them so it was worth the effort!
I confess that I did copy and paste the thanks but no thanks note as there were a lot to send, making small amendments for some people.....I got nice replies back from most of them so it was worth the effort!
ops:
Sex God
My attitude is some response is better than no response.
As a single guy I read the advert carefully before sending a reply, then nothing.
So I'd have to say that saying no is better than saying nothing at all.
John
As a single guy I read the advert carefully before sending a reply, then nothing.
So I'd have to say that saying no is better than saying nothing at all.
John
Sexlightened
Last time we spoke with woman.... After few min. it came this is a couple. When we said: No, thanks, but we looking JUST for girl (as it said in our ad), they said, that we`re very selfish...blah, blah, blah...
We felt very confused. We know, that it could happend again, but `till trying
xxx
M&P
We felt very confused. We know, that it could happend again, but `till trying
xxx
M&P
Quote by M&P cpl
Last time we spoke with woman.... After few min. it came this is a couple. When we said: No, thanks, but we looking JUST for girl (as it said in our ad), they said, that we`re very selfish...blah, blah, blah...
We felt very confused. We know, that it could happend again, but `till trying
xxx
M&P
they were out of order for making you feel like that so i wouldn't feel confused..
sounds like you just met someone not very nice.. and lets face it, you
dont want to be swinging with someone who makes you feel like that. do you?
i would just try and perfect a stock answer, really polite and friendly, but a definate no.
Sexlightened
4 us...It never happened. Its just a brutal life...Next time will be better 4 sure
xxx
P
xxx
P
Quote by naughtynymphos1
I think the best reply is.......sorry your not my type............as mature adult swigers we understand we will not like everyone and everyone wil not like us and if someone gets offended by that then they should not be swinging
i could`nt agree more why say yes when you mean no, at least have the curtesy to be honest.
people will, or should respect you for it later.
sierra x x
Orgasminator
"I'm sorry but your not my(our) type" is our usual reply( spruced up and a little less blunt) for people we do not wish to further a relationship with, what I don't understand is the people that then ask " why not what have we done wrong", just can't get my head around that attitude at all...
Quote by Horous
My attitude is some response is better than no response.
As a single guy I read the advert carefully before sending a reply, then nothing.
So I'd have to say that saying no is better than saying nothing at all.
John
I must agree with John somtimes I reply to an ad and hear nothing Id rather a no thankyou than no responce at all.
I cant stand ignorance or people that havn't the courage to tell you straight!
Hi
Know exactly what you mean, it really does make you feel bad when you have to reject someone, but we too a leaf out of someone’s book who rejected us.
We had carefully read this persons profile, decided we fitted the bill exactly, so sent an email including our pictures.
The reply was ..................... "Thank you for your mail, but you are not what I am looking for right now"
"Well" we thought," that's strange" so we read the add again, and yes we did fit the criteria, so we had all the normal thoughts, being your standard human animal, like, bloody timewasters, oh its a married bloke, pic collector, etc etc.......................... then it dawned on us ................... ermm, we sent the pics, and the person didn’t fancy us, there was no attraction, ......... and what a nice way to let us down, ................. (if you are reading this, thanks xxxxx )
so you see, its quite easy really, as long as the person on the other end of your rejection thinks about the reasons for it.
Know exactly what you mean, it really does make you feel bad when you have to reject someone, but we too a leaf out of someone’s book who rejected us.
We had carefully read this persons profile, decided we fitted the bill exactly, so sent an email including our pictures.
The reply was ..................... "Thank you for your mail, but you are not what I am looking for right now"
"Well" we thought," that's strange" so we read the add again, and yes we did fit the criteria, so we had all the normal thoughts, being your standard human animal, like, bloody timewasters, oh its a married bloke, pic collector, etc etc.......................... then it dawned on us ................... ermm, we sent the pics, and the person didn’t fancy us, there was no attraction, ......... and what a nice way to let us down, ................. (if you are reading this, thanks xxxxx )
so you see, its quite easy really, as long as the person on the other end of your rejection thinks about the reasons for it.
Warming the Bed
I think you are great, for showing respect. But if the person is not for you, then a polite, sorry, not this time, is a nice way to do it.
I am still new at this
but understand the word respect. Hope you did find the person that you were lookimg for
I am still new at this
but understand the word respect. Hope you did find the person that you were lookimg for I once go tinto an unusual situation with a couple. They had accepted me, but I changed my mind! Indeed I turned them down. They were furious. What do you mean? We made the decision, we expect you to come etc.
Sorry folks, I can make decisions about who I play with, as and when I want.
Sometimes its about exercising power over people. Power being often associated or confused with sexual arousal.
Usually the responder is happy to forget about his/her efforts to reply to adverts. When you get a reply, you get your hopes up and really believe you have 'scored'. But to find out it is a polite 'no thanks' is very dissapointing. Some people react badly and feel they have been knocked back.
So I would advise that you just forget about making a gesture and concentrate on communicating with the types who you really want to make an effort with. Its not a bad or wrong thing to do and it does save you from irate responders and a lot of redundant email.
Sorry folks, I can make decisions about who I play with, as and when I want.
Sometimes its about exercising power over people. Power being often associated or confused with sexual arousal.
Usually the responder is happy to forget about his/her efforts to reply to adverts. When you get a reply, you get your hopes up and really believe you have 'scored'. But to find out it is a polite 'no thanks' is very dissapointing. Some people react badly and feel they have been knocked back.
So I would advise that you just forget about making a gesture and concentrate on communicating with the types who you really want to make an effort with. Its not a bad or wrong thing to do and it does save you from irate responders and a lot of redundant email.
Sex God
Quote by staffscouple26
hi all, we put an ad up last night in lets meet up and the response was good, we were after a certain type of guy and there was a few that tickled our fancy, but saying no to the others is horrid, some take it better the others but some dont like rejection at all, surely its better to be honest then just ignore the ones that we wont go for? new to all this and advice would be great x
As long as you don't put anybody down, and I'm sure you wouldn't, nobody can ask any more of you than your honesty. People who can't take a "thanks but no thanks" shouldn't be answering ads in the first place in my opinion.
Try not to lose any sleep over it, you're doing your best to treat people decently and you're not responsible for other people's immaturity.
Regards,
Ice
Warming the Bed
As a single guy I very (and I mean VERY!!!!) rarely receive a reply when I answer an ad so a polite "thanks but no thanks" would be a welcome response for me. (A yes would be even better but that doesn't happen very often) :upset:
If you get a rude/bolshie/angry reply - ignore them!. There are so many nice people on here you can afford to ignore the idiots. After all there does need to be an attraction, it doesn't matter how close the match looks on paper, if you don't like the look of them, or the feel of their email, you don't have to follow it up.
Dave
If you get a rude/bolshie/angry reply - ignore them!. There are so many nice people on here you can afford to ignore the idiots. After all there does need to be an attraction, it doesn't matter how close the match looks on paper, if you don't like the look of them, or the feel of their email, you don't have to follow it up.
Dave
I may have actually ben one of those that answered your ad....not sure...but being my area probablt did....and I would much rather have an answer that says not this time but good luck anyway....than nothing at all and not actually being sure if they even recieved or looked at your answer.
