I'll be honest, i'm 25 and had no relationship for well over five years. I've got to the point where i'm too scared to go on dates in case things go horribly wrong. what makes it worse is i don't have that many single women in my life so i can't even get in any practice. what do you suggest i do to get back into the dating mood?
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I think there's no substitute for getting out and meeting people. Even if it's just socially, or even if it has to be on your own. You could join a club, take a new interest... anywhere there's single women about you have a chance of meeting someone with whom there's mutual attraction. (Unfortunately I'm not qualified to give you advice on what to do next! 
)
Sitting in your home feeling miserable about your lot will just end up making you more and more miserable and resentfull, I'm afraid.
)Sitting in your home feeling miserable about your lot will just end up making you more and more miserable and resentfull, I'm afraid.
:D :DPhil
here is a good start,
but be aware that this here is just the very thin surface fo potentialrelationship life forms., but if it is a start for you so be it....
super markets, shoping malls or clubs etc we all have to start some where
go Phil and the best of luck... any probs come back and seek advice
regards
Roger
here is a good start,
but be aware that this here is just the very thin surface fo potentialrelationship life forms., but if it is a start for you so be it....
super markets, shoping malls or clubs etc we all have to start some where
go Phil and the best of luck... any probs come back and seek advice
regards
Roger
Sex God
FGS don't rely on this place to meet your needs. There are times when it is hilarious, warm and the most friendly place you'll find - there are other times ( the majority) when it is the most cold, soulless (heartless) place you could imagine on earth.
Your best bet is to do what Roger said and to get out and meet people face to face in a situation of mutual interest. If you have no mutual interests then give up hope altogether!!!
Your best bet is to do what Roger said and to get out and meet people face to face in a situation of mutual interest. If you have no mutual interests then give up hope altogether!!!
Definitely make friends first, that way you can meet up with people with no expectations other than going out for a nice drink and chat.
With this dating lark, you really do have to take it with a pinch of salt, enjoy the fact that you're out and about meeting up with different people. If the worst does happen and it goes horribly wrong, then learn to laugh about it by the next day. Learn to laugh at yourself too, don't take it seriously.
One example of mine was meeting this really clever guy, every other word left me baffled as to what he was talking about :confused: Mind you he barely spoke at all, was one of those people comfortable with silences - which left me feeling like I had to fill them immediately ...... at one point I was a bit stuck with what to say so started rambling on about what a crap design the daddy longlegs was
Even as I was saying it I knew it sounded so stupid, but my mouth just wouldn't stop! At the time I was mortified, but by the time I had driven home I couldn't stop laughing about it. Poor bloke must've thought I was a right strange one 
ops: Didn't hear from him again 
Come to think of it, I'm not a very good example at all. There are two people from here who witnessed me just short of throwing up the hour before I was due to meet Carpy for the first time :oops: ...... That was a bit different tho - drink and chat was the last intention of mine
With this dating lark, you really do have to take it with a pinch of salt, enjoy the fact that you're out and about meeting up with different people. If the worst does happen and it goes horribly wrong, then learn to laugh about it by the next day. Learn to laugh at yourself too, don't take it seriously.
One example of mine was meeting this really clever guy, every other word left me baffled as to what he was talking about :confused: Mind you he barely spoke at all, was one of those people comfortable with silences - which left me feeling like I had to fill them immediately ...... at one point I was a bit stuck with what to say so started rambling on about what a crap design the daddy longlegs was
Even as I was saying it I knew it sounded so stupid, but my mouth just wouldn't stop! At the time I was mortified, but by the time I had driven home I couldn't stop laughing about it. Poor bloke must've thought I was a right strange one ops: Didn't hear from him again Come to think of it, I'm not a very good example at all. There are two people from here who witnessed me just short of throwing up the hour before I was due to meet Carpy for the first time :oops: ...... That was a bit different tho - drink and chat was the last intention of mine
Sex God
Quote by roger743
I've been toying with the idea of trying speed-dating. Seems like an interesting way of actually meeting people and gets over the whole "OMG how do I approach this person?" hill. Maybe if/when my current attempt at relationship-building fails, I'll give that a whirl...
Now isn't that a coincidence!!! I was chatting to a friend of mine today and she said she'd been on one of these speed dating things. I didn't fully understand it but loosely, I think you sit with someone for 2 or 3 minutes and then move on to the next one, fill in a card for each person and then put the details on a web site later. Apparently she's had a few "friend" matches but no "dating" matches so far. Sounds like a bloody good start to me though!!
Quote by MISSCHIEF
so started rambling on about what a crap design the daddy longlegs was
Priceless.
Come to think of it, I'm not a very good example at all. There are two people from here who witnessed me just short of throwing up the hour before I was due to meet Carpy for the first time
You had people with you ! I'm standing at the station staring at each car pulling towards the car park - people must have thought I was a train spotter who'd not got the hang of it.....
:twisted:
Quote by Carpathian
[You had people with you ! I'm standing at the station staring at each car pulling towards the car park - people must have thought I was a train spotter who'd not got the hang of it.....:
Maybe they thought you were a car-spotter. After all, if there can be train-spotters, and plane-spotters, why not car-spotters?
(I'm just a carpet-spotter - I spilt my tea.
) Orgasminator
I'm crap at the dating lark, and even worse at the "chat up" in say a pub or club...
Why? well it was down to the worry about rejection, just like how imbarising is it to go up to someone say something... then not know what the feck to say afterwards to keep the conversation going, or worse still, you say hi and get totaly ignored not even a polite conversation but that "feck off" look and then the back turned towards you.
So what changed...
Well after years of issues I went for councliling, was cool... not the old frieudian stuff but the cognative stuff, and realised that the pub chat up had become a focal point... the odd thing was that every pub and club i've ever been to i've ended up being on very good terms with the owners and the staff and also the regulars, I just hadnt realised how many people knew me and liked me (I know that sounds clique, but was true) apart from the first few visits to a club i've never had to pay for entry afterwards, so I must have had summat about me :-)
People in the swining scene and BDSM scene have said that i'm a nice guy, its just taken me a long time to realise that perhaps they might have been saying the truth and my problem was that I was worried that the next relationship would go tits up like the past ones...
I've found a job that I love, and feel i'm good at but more importantly allows me to kinda stand up and say "this is my work..." my old life in IT was good, but you could hardly stand up and shout about an accounts program that didnt crash, (besides tell anyone you're a programmer and you get that "shit nerd" look" lololololol and boy was I a nerd, but with hindsite, proud of it)
Now I'm just out to have a damn good laugh, have as many friends and social mates as I can and just enjoy my life... if something happens then cool, if not then why worry or chase it! People that know me (even if just by sight) will talk to me and get to know me, and if someone has seen me at the same places on a regular basis then you end up kind of knowing each other... at wich point the conversations can begin with none of the cold calling worrys.
Mind you, it does help that most know what I do for a living, but also tends to cut down the number of people confident enough in themselves to potentially partner up.... they all know I'm a swinger as well, heck why hide who I am anymore, I guess you could say that i'm "OUT" as a swinger, lol.
So what advise am I trying to give... not a lot truth be known, except just do what you feel happy with, go to places you get known, and socialise with as many people you can you never know what is arround the corner, but if you dont walk around it, you will never know!
Jon
Why? well it was down to the worry about rejection, just like how imbarising is it to go up to someone say something... then not know what the feck to say afterwards to keep the conversation going, or worse still, you say hi and get totaly ignored not even a polite conversation but that "feck off" look and then the back turned towards you.
So what changed...
Well after years of issues I went for councliling, was cool... not the old frieudian stuff but the cognative stuff, and realised that the pub chat up had become a focal point... the odd thing was that every pub and club i've ever been to i've ended up being on very good terms with the owners and the staff and also the regulars, I just hadnt realised how many people knew me and liked me (I know that sounds clique, but was true) apart from the first few visits to a club i've never had to pay for entry afterwards, so I must have had summat about me :-)
People in the swining scene and BDSM scene have said that i'm a nice guy, its just taken me a long time to realise that perhaps they might have been saying the truth and my problem was that I was worried that the next relationship would go tits up like the past ones...
I've found a job that I love, and feel i'm good at but more importantly allows me to kinda stand up and say "this is my work..." my old life in IT was good, but you could hardly stand up and shout about an accounts program that didnt crash, (besides tell anyone you're a programmer and you get that "shit nerd" look" lololololol and boy was I a nerd, but with hindsite, proud of it)
Now I'm just out to have a damn good laugh, have as many friends and social mates as I can and just enjoy my life... if something happens then cool, if not then why worry or chase it! People that know me (even if just by sight) will talk to me and get to know me, and if someone has seen me at the same places on a regular basis then you end up kind of knowing each other... at wich point the conversations can begin with none of the cold calling worrys.
Mind you, it does help that most know what I do for a living, but also tends to cut down the number of people confident enough in themselves to potentially partner up.... they all know I'm a swinger as well, heck why hide who I am anymore, I guess you could say that i'm "OUT" as a swinger, lol.
So what advise am I trying to give... not a lot truth be known, except just do what you feel happy with, go to places you get known, and socialise with as many people you can you never know what is arround the corner, but if you dont walk around it, you will never know!
Jon
