seriously need help!!

16 Oct 2003

Hi there
Iâ€™m a new member to this site and just want to congratulate all who contribute to the wealth of information on this site. I found the tips for new swingers/doggers especially you mightâ€™ve guessed by now Iâ€™m completely new to the scene but am very open minded and have keen interest in exploring my sexual boundaries (if there are any smile

).
While choosing a lifestyle like this can be very rewarding there are some serious considerations. Iâ€™m reluctant (afraid??) to engage in any such activities for fear of getting infected with STDâ€™s (particularly HIV). Of course one might say that there are precautionary measures that I can take. While this is true I am sure that most of you would agree that that there always is a risk of getting infected with some vicious little virus, plus it seriously limits all the fun :cry: . Iâ€™m sure that many of the members in the community have similar thoughts. I would like to hear from members (especially the more experienced ones) how they cope with all of this.

16 Oct 2003

hummm this is a very tricky area.
Let's cast aside the preventative measures issue for a moment.
I'm not saying Swingers are promiscuous. That's an unfair assumption. But let's say they have multiple partners - for the sake of argument.
When you join a swinging community, not only do you increase the number of partners YOU are having sex with, but also the people you choose to have sex with will have increased numbers. This means that your chances of catching something are actually far greater than if you were the one half who slept around, but chose to sleep only with other folk that didn't.
Of course it's impossible to tell who sleeps around and who doesn't. But if you're working on the principle that swingers tend to have more partners than the average (bit assumption), then things get quite dangerous.
Now, there's a serious flaw in this logic. And that is two fold. The first being that many swingers don't actually sleep around a great deal. And secondly, they often take precautions above and beyond what the 'average' do. It's (I would say) less common for swingers to end up having unsafe sex than it is for your typical Friday night one night stand scenario.
On the whole, I'd have to say it just about cancels each other out. You're moving into a circle where sex with multiple partners is more widespread, therefore at much higher risk of infection, but also in a community where safer sex is practiced more frequently... you take you pick about how you think the balance lies.
/TheKid

16 Oct 2003

For what it is worth, I think the kid has got it in one. many must think they just have to place an ad, and women will just throw themselves off cliffs to have a shag. It has been a great eye opener to actually look over some of the ads. If you ever stroll down the men seeking women part, you will just be amazed! I think it appears to many fella's that they just have to put the basics....Age 25..BIG DICK...repeater/heavy cummer/..likes W/X/Y...satisfaction guaranteed...! Christ I bet you would have more chance waltzing into sainsburies absolutely bollock naked and having it away with the first lucky women bending over the salad bar...!
The first BIG problem you have is to actually get a reply. Many of the ads have emails that come back as wrong, so you get nil points. Then you have to look all the time for those who ask for contacts, but remember they will have loads of the above types. I think it is something you have to address for yourself in respect of what you actually think you will get? If you think you will put an ad in today (thurs) and be shaggin' on sat/sun...then maybe you will be lucky, but more than not you will have to be patient. Treat the gals on here with respect, look at them as just like you. Wanting a bit of spice and physical relief away from the one handed jobby. They are not just wanton hussies who are dying to screw anyone and everyone and have no exeptions. I think to be honest you would not feel that safe if they did? Every guy has the notion they are able to do the buisness, and when you come onto this site you feel amazed at all the sweeties in the window. Getting into the shop is a problem and you often feel like you have the notion to pick them up but the jar lids are stuck down so you cannot taste! Basically address your fears and think what you will do to look after yourself. If you feel you will comply with the rules we ALL KNOW are the safe rules..ie NEVER GO POTHOLING WITHOUT A SAFETY HAT, then you should be fine. Like the kid says you have probably had a friday night swaray, and then been wondering about the saturday night fever before. One has to balance the cards. I would say look, listen and learn, and if you find you can get on without the worries then fine, but if you have too many concerns you will have to consider it is not the place for you. I would say though that in EVERY walk of life you will find risk takers and rule benders. It is your choice, your decision and your yes or no that counts in the end. For what it is worth I have found little in the way of responces but have found at least a few good folk who I can have a good laugh with, away from the silent crowd who poo poo the basic needs. Like I said earlier. look over the ad's and think how you would word one to get a reply? Then look in the men for women ones, and BOY do you get a glimpse of life. I would think a few are nice people but for every 5 good un's their are about 30+ really derailed/blinkered and funny folk? I honestly think lots of fella's think it is like the local pub. You walk in and the barmaid says 'what you fancy luvv...just a shag please babes, and gizza BJ...' redface

Life aint like that, but then you cannot educate pork.

16 Oct 2003

GREAT to see the menfolk being so sensible... brownie points all round and a hug each too just cos I feel like it!!
biggrin

16 Oct 2003

It's easy really, shag as many folks as you like, but don't swap bodily fluids - works for me

16 Oct 2003

what a lovely way of putting it blue wink

oh Hi there, by the way