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Sex education for children in school

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Do you think ..............like Debbiewebs and i................. that sex education should be taught to are kids at a earlier age?
We taught are kids from the age of 3 .........and we do wish that schools (instead of leaving it till they are in class 6 ) teach them earlier!
whats your thoughts?
Mr Debs xxx
We teach our children little bits as and when things crop up.
However I don't ever remember starting talking about sex education at the age of 3 :shock:
Debs went to the doctors to ask if it was ok to teach them at this age so it wasn't done lightly Dawn.................. she says the younger the better.... so we did .........and there was no shock from them at all!
I have to say .................that when i thought my children were ready to be inquisitive about sex or the workings however innocent.........i tried to teach them to the level that they would understand. My son........asked a few posing questions......... confused which I answered not to level of being too blunt........but just enough information.
Too much information in my opinion is not good at a very young age. Children still need some innocence. Otherwise they grow up far to quick far to soon.
Outside pressures sometimes always dictate but I don't bow to that..Children will always learn outside the comforts of their homes but that will always be life.
most 3 years olds can't even talk properly or fully potty trained how on earth are they going to understand sex education? :undecided:
Quote by Mr Debbiewebs
Do you think ..............like Debbiewebs and i................. that sex education should be taught to are kids at a earlier age?
We taught are kids from the age of 3 .........and we do wish that schools (instead of leaving it till they are in class 6 ) teach them earlier!
whats your thoughts?
Mr Debs xxx

Personally I don't think teaching children about sex per se will be that advantageous unless you assist children in learning how to make decisions appropriate to their needs and personal circumstances.
As far as schools teaching children anything, I am of the philosophy that you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink... plus, (and this isn't a dig at anyone), I think parents should have far more say in their children's education than the school and LEA.
I always thought that I would get around to telling my little girl about the birds and the bees when she bacame inquisitive about it.
When she was 6 we were having a walk through the woods and she started talking about reproduction of the animals......as a matter of fact. Looks like I have to start catching up or she will know the ruddy lot before I start trying to tell her
Dave_Notts
"Old enough to ask, old enough to know" is the way I learned from my best mates mum - a nurse - (my folks not being receptive to conversation unless with their pub customers, an' all)
It's a philosophy I have tried to stick with. My kids ask stuff. I answer. Sometimes I get it wrong and they walk away, half way through my answer ("Hey! You asked!") I suppose my kids are learning "TMI, mummy!" is a way to let me know to stop. lol
Anyways.. thi is the philosophy for all things.. not just sex. We have been known to discuss drugs, physical and mental (dis)abilities, science, religion, politics, movies... all with the same attitude.
It's a learning curve, this parenting lark, so together we're getting there.
Well with our 2 we dont hide anything but i definately think it is on a need to know basis at that age.
Our youngest is 3 and i wouldnt dream of going into that with her,she's too busy with the tweenies and suchlike and does not need to know about sex at her they get older we will tell them more but I do think that 3 istoo young as they cant fully understand and dont need to. confused
Quote by Vix
"Old enough to ask, old enough to know"

That's how my kids were. my daughter would ask a question and we would answer it. Funnily enough each question was asked in sequence, so she learned one step at a time. As she got an answer she would just say "oh" and carry on with what she had been doing. She knew everything by the time she was six. My son was not so curious, he didn't start asking questions until he was about six, but my daughter would answer them before we got a chance sometimes, in the same matter of fact way that we did. Kids learn at their own pace, I think to "teach" sex education makes a big deal out of it, and it isn't really at a young age. I do think they should know before senior school though.
:love: xxx
i fouund out about sex education at about 8 years old.
that was just how babys were made.
it took to the age of 16 to find out how to put a condom on -> via school.
its rediculous in this day and age such things should be taught younger.
the UK has one of the highest teenage pregancy rate in europe
with wolverhampton (i went to uni there) and another place which i cant rember being top.
MikeC
Quote by Mr Debbiewebs
We taught are kids from the age of 3 .........and we do wish that schools (instead of leaving it till they are in class 6 ) teach them earlier!

you got taught sex education in school at 6???? If only...
Our school didnt DO sex education, the closest we got was science and biology for the reproductive cycle, and that was at 12 years old...
my darling mother tried to give me "the talk" a few weeks after that... but seeing as i had been having peroids for a year before hand it was a bit pointless!
I was one of the young experimental types, i found out where things go about eight or nine years old, i was caught in school with a news of the world pullout from the magazine, i was with a female friend in the loos, we were primary 5.
So to all the parents, dont leave it too late, and dont be shy or coy about it, kids can see right through you.
i think 3 is a bit young but its what the parents feel comfortable with and when the children ask.
love n licks
nic
x
Quote by Clare_Lincs
Well with our 2 we dont hide anything but i definately think it is on a need to know basis at that age.
Our youngest is 3 and i wouldnt dream of going into that with her,she's too busy with the tweenies and suchlike and does not need to know about sex at her they get older we will tell them more but I do think that 3 istoo young as they cant fully understand and dont need to. confused

Agree with you there....on a need to know basis,our youngest is nearly 10 and he practically knows everything but it was only when he asked rather than forcing it on him and embarassing him!
I agree that it is when the children ask that we should tell them, as has been previously stated peer pressure will drive their desire to know. As parents we should all be aware of what children talk about as we have been there too, and as such there is a greater need for parents to take an active part in their childs education as it is the parents that will mostly affect the way that the child thinks. However we must all avoid too much biased information (goes without saying i know) as that may affect the child, it is all individual in how and when a child learns the information.
For an interesting article on sex education see the link below.

BB
It is school policy in this area to leave sex education to parents. It is not the responsibility of teachers to tell the children the ins and out of this subject imho.
In school they approach the subject as a matter of fact biology lesson which gives the children information about what is where in their own body. We also talk a little bit about hormones being chemicals that change things in their bodies and might effect their moods etc.
I do think talking about urban myths might help them aged 11 in order to prevent them getting into trouble when they are in high school and were off on the one day the nun decided to give the sex ed talk. lol Oh that was sooo funny, the boys asking the nuns about erections! :lol: She hardly knew what to say about periods. :doh:
The rest is up to the parents. They don't need to know more than this aged 11. Let children be children.
As for the don't tell them til they ask attitude, it doesn't always work. I never asked my parents and still wouldn't. If I had my time again I still wouldnt ask them, so waiting for the child to make the first move isn't always the best idea. Luckily I had my head screwed on and was mature for my age so didn't get into trouble.
We are all too closed about our bodies in this country anyway. We never see how each other looks so the media is allowed to feed us images of how we should look knowing that we don't have a real-life point of reference to tell us it's not how everyone is.
Little things like the prudishness in the swimming baths, sepparate cubicles, people not washing properly before going into the pool because they have left their costume on to shower.
Whoops, went off on one there.... redface
What kind of things are you telling your three year old? Sex ed is a massive subject with the act of sexual penetration being only a portion of it.
kiss
Gem. x
I've got 5 girls and I've always answered my kids questions when they've asked them. My 4yr old knows about periods because she saw me in the bathroom one day so I explained it to her.
I'd intended to tell them about the birds and the bees when they started their periods but when I had my last baby at home (she's 18mths now), they woke up just as she was being born and they obviously wanted to know all about it so I explained how a baby grew and came out. My Eldest has now asked how the baby got in there in the first place so I'll explain although I think she knows more than shes letting on!!
What shocked me was my friends daughter who's 9 still thinks babies come out through your belly button! :shock: I'm not suggesting she should know everything there is to know about the subject and mine only know so much because they saw it first hand but at 9yrs old surely they should know a little? or atleast when they ask a question they should be told the truth?
I just think it's wrong to leave it down to schools to explain the facts of life. Although my mum was useless at it... I remember being about 10 and being given these strange looking pads and being told I would need them soon. I had no idea what she was talking about so used them all on my dolls as nappies! :grin: I only found out about sex through my friend who's mum had told her, so I've always made sure my girls have got an honest answer when they've asked whether they be 4yrs old or 10yrs old.
Mrs CC
I agree CC, i think it is also extremely important not to get embarrassed by talking to the children about sex. They have prob hear it in the playground and what you to confirm or deny it.
BB
I think it's absolutely brilliant that some of the parents on here say they will answer questions when asked. My sex education and my parents' input where an utter disgrace.
No one knew that I has known about periods, sex etc since I was about 8 and even when i asked question after that I was told I was too young to know. I actually asked my mum what menstruation was (I knew about periods - didn't know it was a word for the same thing) and she said I was too young to know at about 8. So then i start my periods at 9 and don't tell her because I think I'll be in trouble. When she find out she practically has a panic attack and then sayd 'well, you havne't really started your period' ! As if pretending it isn't happening will help me cope with the stress of having heavy periods in primary school P.E!
Sorry for rant but I'm actually really angry about it!
Also when I was 18, and on sex partner number 2, she told my aunt off for talking about sexuality saying 'she's not an adult yet'. evil
I hope I have the guts to tell my kids what's going on to save them from stress and confusion.
most of the problem is out of embarrassment i think...
and not ignorance...
weve just got to be adults and discuss the subject oblectively ..answer questions arising from this
praise safe sex ..not preach
and above all be approachable
My son was 2 1/2 to 3 when he first started asking questions, most of my friends were having babies at the time.
I have always answered his questions with enough knowledge that he understood what was being said but not overwelm him.
Being very inquisitive he knew most of it by the time he was 6 (apart from the actual act of penetration) Questions like how does the 'cord' work, is it a hollow tube that chips come down, why doesn't the baby fall out led me to buying a book on the subject that would help him.
My mum did exactly the same for me.
He was about 8 when he blurted out that he knew what sex was. Because my older step son had told him 'in secret' he thought it was a dirty act. Luckily he had the courage to come to me and I explained the difference.
Just a quick funny tale.
When he was about 4 we were in the local supermarket.
He told the cashier that mummy and daddy were having a baby.
I explained that no we weren't but that we were thinking about it. To which he replied
"sorry I forgot, daddy still needs to put the speramin in mummys ear". lol :lol:
Quote by Clare_Lincs
Our youngest is 3 and i wouldnt dream of going into that with her,she's too busy with the tweenies and suchlike and does not need to know about sex at her they get older we will tell them more but I do think that 3 istoo young as they cant fully understand and dont need to. confused

I totally agre with you clare my you youngest is nearly 5 and wouldnt even dream of going there with her! I will wait till she asks and hasnt done so far. My other daughter is nearly nine and knows about periods and other things she has asked about she knows were babies come from not out of your belly botton! (as in curious_catz friends doughter) but she hasnt asked how they got there. I will her tell when she asks.
they both follow me to the toilet so my youngest knows that periods are nothing unusual or strange but have not explained it to her yet properly. I think it best to wait untill children are ready and they will ask when they are.
Carol
To a cetain extent doesn't it depend on the child?
Some kids are ready to understand it at a much earlier age than others. We have twin boys aged 8 and yesterday they asked me about Kylie and her breast cancer.
Twin 1 laughed and asked if they would chop her boobie off with a saw.
Twin 2 asked if she would die and how would they cure it and was really sad.
Going back to the point MikeC made earlier about condoms, our 13 year old learnt about them and how to use then when he was 11 during a lesson at school dunno
I don't think we should say teaching a 3 year old is the way to go but then again neither is saying they have to be 11 years old. It should be a gradual process that is part of a childs understanding of the world
Dawn biggrin
Every child is different.. My 3 yr old has just started asking questions because I've just had a baby. She thought it would come out through my belly button so I let her watch a programme on discovery where a woman gave birth. So she now knows where it comes from (her favourite bit being the blood and slime) and she knows that my partner put it in there, but not 'how' iyswim.. and then the questions stopped. I won't tell her any more until she asks.
i have a 4 year old and can honestly say she has never asked anything about sex or anything sexual in any way, sorry to say but makes me wonder what very young kids are seeing or hearing to make them ask such things confused cause at that sort of age they only repeat others
Quote by naughtynymphos1
i have a 4 year old and can honestly say she has never asked anything about sex or anything sexual in any way, sorry to say but makes me wonder what very young kids are seeing or hearing to make them ask such things confused cause at that sort of age they only repeat others

I beg to differ... some children are naturally very inquisitive.. so if they see something on a day to day basis and are talked to about it (i.e there's a baby in mummies tummy), they are likely to wonder why it is there, how it comes out etc. It's also a case of correcting their misconceptions.. why should we let them believe that it comes out of mummies bellybutton? I agree that information given should be age relevent.. it's pointless overloading your child with information they wouldn't understand anyway.. but I think the most important thing is to be honest with them and follow their lead. They are little people who can think for themselves.. don't underestimate!
biggrin
I agree with most fo the comments on here that it is up to the parents and the child as to when is the right time for them to discuss "the facts of life".
I think some over-zealous parents are risking projecting too much information onto kids. They only need to know so much at a time.
My daughter's 6 and I answer the questions she asks. She knows that the daddy puts the baby into the mummy's tummy when they have a special baby-making kiss and cuddle. She doesn't need to know about periods and erections and condoms and STI's!!! I don't hink she knows where the baby comes out because she's never asked but she knows it involves pushing confused
My mum comes from "good Catholic stock" - blummin massive family that tell their kids FA about sex other than it's some dirty secret. She didn't start her period till she was 17 and because no one had talked to her about it, she went to the doctor, convinced she was dying. When she fell pregnant with me, she only had a very vague idea of how it happened. I mean, that's just shocking isn't it???
As a result, when I was about 4, my mum bought a "Cycle of Life" book - everything from neanderthal and homo erectus to breatfeeding and erections. I sort of remember feeling abit over-whelmed and a little bored of it, but I kept the book and in later years, I more or less taught myself what I needed to know, along with the basic biological facts from school.
I want my child to remain a child as long as possible. That doesn't mean wrapping her up in cotton wool and keeping her "innocence" because there is nothing wrong or sinful about sex (like I need to tell you lot!) but I want her to have a healthy outlook without having an old head on young shoulders.
Parenting is difficult for anyone at any time. We can only do our best but since education is compulsory, then some support and responsibilty for teaching all aspects of life, not just the academic, should be taken on by our schools.
Quote by poniella
Sorry for rant but I'm actually really angry about it!

I'm not surprised. Its remarkable how little some parents know about what their kids know, think etc. :shock:
To be honest, I can't remember much about sex education, other than we got a bit from school & some from my parents at home. I'd definitely be a big supporter of responding to questions when they are asked, but in the absence of such enquiries, finding a way to introduce the topic before a child reaches an age when ignorance becomes a problem.
i totally agree what if a child is old enough to ask a question we should answer 100% honest but i'm sorry i find it really hard to believe that as some1 stated kids as young as 2 and a half are asking such questions, my kids could only just talk at 2 and a half never mind asking about sex!! and as for the lady who has just had a baby thats totally different any child old enough to talk would ask about that if their mother had just had a baby
I don't really remember how I found out, I think my Mum sat me down and told me the basic's when I was about 6 or 7 and then as the years went by I found out more and more mostly from the kids at school.
I remember when I started my period and I was so pleased I went around telling everyone....LoL biggrin
Sex is something that is NOT at all dirty and kids shouldn't be made to feel like it's some sort of dirty secret that only naughty people do, I personally think that when kids ask it should be answered and then when they get to senior school level if they haven't asked then they should be told so the other kids won't make fun of them when they are all looking at sexy pictures in the locker room.....
I also remember that a lot of my sex education came from Lace by Shirley Conran and Mills and Boon novels..... lol
This is a tough one. My initial reaction would be a resounding yes, but on second thoughts, what morals would be attached when teaching our kids about sex? Think I'd like a say in that one thanks.
However, as the mum of a 5 year old who recently got himself into trouble for pulling a little girl's knickers down perhaps the school could do a "your body" introduction for the younger ones. I was more than a little upset about the situation, but more so from the point of having been an abused child myself I was concerned that perhaps my boy had/is/was experiencing something similar of which I knew nothing about.
Like I say, it's a difficult issue, but if pushed for an answer I'd have to say, yes, our young 'ens need sex education.