Having just typed out a good thread starter only for then to post and it timed out baaaa! This post this as a result of the " time to hang my hat up as a mod thread!
to debate if community is more important than the business of "sexsite" , what do people expect for their money ? sorry to be brief but I am sure this will open out as we go along.
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Sex site Vs Community
Quote by peenut
Having just typed out a good thread starter only for then to post and it timed out baaaa! This post this as a result of the " time to hang my hat up as a mod thread!
to debate if community is more important than the business of "sexsite" , what do people expect for their money ? sorry to be brief but I am sure this will open out as we go along.
well are you going to get the ball rolling then peenut
whats your views 
: 
Sex God
sorry if your just after sex your in the wrong place this is so much more. If I'm luke sex is just the end of it.
Sex God
Quote by peenut
Having just typed out a good thread starter only for then to post and it timed out baaaa! This post this as a result of the " time to hang my hat up as a mod thread!
to debate if community is more important than the business of "sexsite" , what do people expect for their money ? sorry to be brief but I am sure this will open out as we go along.
if it does turn into a sexsite.. i can tell you i would be out of that door like a shot... it was the community that drew me in, and the community that has kept me here after all the upheavals....for example the regulars looking at helping out with the newbie socials.... the mentor scheme... the munches.....
the site is a swingers site, and for a lot of swingers it is the friendships that matter as much as the other stuff......
sean xxxxxx
p.s if you or other people have paid for "sex", then a lot of people are seriously going to be sorely disappointed.....
If people could have a quick look at the "time to hang up hat as mod thread" see my post and Dave J post, I opened this thread to continue as it is off topic to that thread. I ventured to say that due to recent management change the feel of the site has moved from community to more commercial. that is people join to expect what ? pay for what? sex ? or promise of it or to join a community !
Sex God
sean xxxxxx
p.s if you or other people have paid for "sex", then a lot of people are seriously going to be sorely disappointed.....
and you may find it quicker else where
p.s if you or other people have paid for "sex", then a lot of people are seriously going to be sorely disappointed.....
and you may find it quicker else where
Sex God
When the site changes took place and all the new members came on board, I have to say it did feel like a sex site, and I was upset, I really felt like saying stuff it, and moving off to somewhere else. But I stuck around, mainly because I am a nosey so and so, and wanted to see what would happen to this place. Then we started to get some more 'newbies' joining, the ones who would have made themeselves right at home in the 'old' place and slowly and surely, things are improving.
Obiously there will always be an element of sex on any site that is based around swinging, but I dont think the site is as bad as we all thought it would be. Ok there is still a lot of room for improvements, and there are still loads of plonkers out there, but there are also a lot of decent new menbers who are looking to join in with the forum community.
Personally I am sticking around for a while and I am going to organise a social for the Newbies. To me, that will prove if the site has a future or if it has turned into the Sex site you mentioned. You know what Peenut, I really hope you are very wrong
Obiously there will always be an element of sex on any site that is based around swinging, but I dont think the site is as bad as we all thought it would be. Ok there is still a lot of room for improvements, and there are still loads of plonkers out there, but there are also a lot of decent new menbers who are looking to join in with the forum community.
Personally I am sticking around for a while and I am going to organise a social for the Newbies. To me, that will prove if the site has a future or if it has turned into the Sex site you mentioned. You know what Peenut, I really hope you are very wrong
some people may join to look for sex & post some stupid posts on the forum but they dont last for long on here!
community is what this site is about & its what drew me here & what keeps me here i can say without a shadow of a doubt i would be in a box by now if it wasnt for this site over the last year & its the cafe thats kept me sane-ish
its the people that make this place they are from all walks of life age, experience, intelegence & they keep this site what it is & that is not a sex site they can make you laugh they can make you cry but most of all they stick together through thick & thin
long live the sh community :)
community is what this site is about & its what drew me here & what keeps me here i can say without a shadow of a doubt i would be in a box by now if it wasnt for this site over the last year & its the cafe thats kept me sane-ish
its the people that make this place they are from all walks of life age, experience, intelegence & they keep this site what it is & that is not a sex site they can make you laugh they can make you cry but most of all they stick together through thick & thin
long live the sh community :)
Sex God
A strange thing about the English language that some up some form of sex. 'The hole is the whole thing'
not for me the whole is the chat the meet and then even then the whole body.
not for me the whole is the chat the meet and then even then the whole body.
Sex God
well think and hoping when everythink cools that a lot of peeps will find out that it aint a sex sight and just because you paid your money that you will not get instant shag ,a lot will probs keep logging in to chance it still coming out with a load of crap,and ten minutes after logging on thats all we have had today in ways of emails 2 add to me jobs for cam fun a phone sex with number and some one who read one of our adds the way it should be read, and one the other day who at the start looked as if he really needed help in how to get into dogging which we would help any one even with a bit piss take but would of helped new people till we got to the part him telling us how big he is and heres me number oh and a pic attached to it , then you some one having a whinge on here cause no one will give him a chance so yes we do hope the community part come back here ,because if any one who is new to the site takes advice from nice people like steph who takes time to read a lot of newbie first post and redirects them to advice threads we will still be getting all the crap , there are to many expecting quick shag now replys ,take time out and read the munches then read the thank you posts the day after and you will understand true communnity spirit where swingers get together for a fun night out (not shagging) a few drinks a dance ,and thats how people come from all walks of life all over the country for just a night out, used to get chatting ,oh yes the chatroom was a great way to get to know a person/persons without having to mention sex ,munches paint balling and if any could be bothered to look right back a certain lady who bared her boobs all for CHARITY and way i add a very worthy cause ,so a debate about community versus a sex sight well we can only see one winner. swinging heaven well some people will remember it.
This will only really change from a community to a sex site if WE allow it to.
If we ignore the pathetic posts from the hand jockeys, they'll soon drop off the page.
As long as we keep posting the kind of threads that have always made this Forum what it is, and as long as people enjoy reading them and responding to them, then this Community will thrive.
If we ignore the pathetic posts from the hand jockeys, they'll soon drop off the page.
As long as we keep posting the kind of threads that have always made this Forum what it is, and as long as people enjoy reading them and responding to them, then this Community will thrive.
Sex God
As peenut has said, to get the gist of what he is saying then a peek at his post in the 'hats off' thread will help to see what triggered this thread.
Now I can respond to you peenut, unfortunately you've worded this thread slightly differently to your reply in the other one, but in essence your remark, which I disagreed with, stated that this site is all about sex and nothing else, I disagreed with that. I won't get drawn into the 'community' word because I don't actually believe this is a community and think that the word is just a handy brazier to stand around when people feel they are being attacked, communities are more than this place, highlighted in the definitions that appeared in Polo lady's thread about the very same, this might well be a group of folk that get used to each other, but to my mind community it ain't and before anyone goes searching to triumphantly catch me out useing the word, I can save you the bother cos I've stood round the brazier as well. Anyways back to the main point.
I will only ever refer to the cafe as its the only bit I use, but your statement that this site is only about sex is, as I said, way off the mark and given the time you've been on the site and been active, I would have thought that you would have been able to see that. I could go on and give examples and try and labour the point further, but do I really need to? come on read the cafe, see what works, it isnt sex, its diversification and in fact the cries that are so often heard from people about not being able to edge their foot in the door, often comes because they made the same assumption as you.
EDIT: thanks for recognising that the other thread wasn't the place and getting this one going peenut.
Now I can respond to you peenut, unfortunately you've worded this thread slightly differently to your reply in the other one, but in essence your remark, which I disagreed with, stated that this site is all about sex and nothing else, I disagreed with that. I won't get drawn into the 'community' word because I don't actually believe this is a community and think that the word is just a handy brazier to stand around when people feel they are being attacked, communities are more than this place, highlighted in the definitions that appeared in Polo lady's thread about the very same, this might well be a group of folk that get used to each other, but to my mind community it ain't and before anyone goes searching to triumphantly catch me out useing the word, I can save you the bother cos I've stood round the brazier as well. Anyways back to the main point.
I will only ever refer to the cafe as its the only bit I use, but your statement that this site is only about sex is, as I said, way off the mark and given the time you've been on the site and been active, I would have thought that you would have been able to see that. I could go on and give examples and try and labour the point further, but do I really need to? come on read the cafe, see what works, it isnt sex, its diversification and in fact the cries that are so often heard from people about not being able to edge their foot in the door, often comes because they made the same assumption as you.
EDIT: thanks for recognising that the other thread wasn't the place and getting this one going peenut.
Sex God
Quote by Lissa
This will only really change from a community to a sex site if WE allow it to.
If we ignore the pathetic posts from the hand jockeys, they'll soon drop off the page.
As long as we keep posting the kind of threads that have always made this Forum what it is, and as long as people enjoy reading them and responding to them, then this Community will thrive.
:thumbup: Your are spot on, it is down to us to stop this place from becoming a Sex Site and for it to stay as a Swinging Based Community!
ersonally I am sticking around for a while and I am going to organise a social for the Newbies. To me, that will prove if the site has a future or if it has turned into the Sex site you mentioned. You know what Peenut, I really hope you are very wrong
Me also ! I was thinking of doing a bit o mddding in the future too ! I personaly don't see Sh as a sex site and would be very unhappy if it became so. However were I to be paying to join I can see that there is some important issues here. Although my mailbox has not exactly overflowed with replies, were I to be female, and having carefully written my ad, I would be bombarded by a lot of replies from guys who have not even bothered to read it ! that is not to say that there are genuine replies but the motivation is that Swinging by its very nature is sexual and I think to pay to join infers to some the invitation of easy sex. My original point was that from a commercial point of view, sex ( or the inference of it ) sells . To some this may mean access to pictures or even more, and not what SH is really all about.
Me also ! I was thinking of doing a bit o mddding in the future too ! I personaly don't see Sh as a sex site and would be very unhappy if it became so. However were I to be paying to join I can see that there is some important issues here. Although my mailbox has not exactly overflowed with replies, were I to be female, and having carefully written my ad, I would be bombarded by a lot of replies from guys who have not even bothered to read it ! that is not to say that there are genuine replies but the motivation is that Swinging by its very nature is sexual and I think to pay to join infers to some the invitation of easy sex. My original point was that from a commercial point of view, sex ( or the inference of it ) sells . To some this may mean access to pictures or even more, and not what SH is really all about.
Sex God
Quote by peenut
Me also ! I was thinking of doing a bit o mddding in the future too ! I personaly don't see Sh as a sex site and would be very unhappy if it became so. However were I to be paying to join I can see that there is some important issues here. Although my mailbox has not exactly overflowed with replies, were I to be female, and having carefully written my ad, I would be bombarded by a lot of replies from guys who have not even bothered to read it ! that is not to say that there are genuine replies but the motivation is that Swinging by its very nature is sexual and I think to pay to join infers to some the invitation of easy sex. My original point was that from a commercial point of view, sex ( or the inference of it ) sells . To some this may mean access to pictures or even more, and not what SH is really all about.
Peenut, I might have read that wrong but did you say you were thinking of doing a bit of modding??????? This is not something you can just do, for a start I am sure that even with the mods that have moved off, there will still be enough Mods around for the time being to keep the place and span, and also I really do think they would be looking for someone who has a little more experience of the site, chatroom, munches etc etc etc (No offence meant)
Edited cause I got my Quotes in the wrong place
Peanut, I have to agree with you.
I think that because the site has a sexual nature, the introduction of charging will no doubt infer to people that paying up and becomming a member will automatically result in sex.
And being a female trust me you don't have to write a decent ad to get bombarded with 1 line pms - hell you don't even have to have an ad!!!
I've never had an ad since joining this site, yet I still get the pms.
I think that because the site has a sexual nature, the introduction of charging will no doubt infer to people that paying up and becomming a member will automatically result in sex.
And being a female trust me you don't have to write a decent ad to get bombarded with 1 line pms - hell you don't even have to have an ad!!!
I've never had an ad since joining this site, yet I still get the pms.
Personally if I had come here for sex then I would have left a long long time ago but as I havent paid this is a difficult one. This is a site for swingers and non swingers but strangely enough having been to a sex site I never saw this as a sex site :shock: :shock: :shock: .
Am I deluding myself???????? Maybe I am but I loved the banter and community and openess. I think the site has changed but people have to come back and if its just to see people camming then yes its a sex site. If its for adult conversation which is open and honest on a wide range of subjects and the opportunity to meet real people at social events who are great fun then that to me is what its about. I met my mate Bernie fem today and we were talking about this. The next 6 months will be the judge of the direction the site takes. Lets hope it takes the right decision in its direction
Am I deluding myself???????? Maybe I am but I loved the banter and community and openess. I think the site has changed but people have to come back and if its just to see people camming then yes its a sex site. If its for adult conversation which is open and honest on a wide range of subjects and the opportunity to meet real people at social events who are great fun then that to me is what its about. I met my mate Bernie fem today and we were talking about this. The next 6 months will be the judge of the direction the site takes. Lets hope it takes the right decision in its direction
Sex God
In that case peenut I've read you wrong because the bit I've highlighted downstairs, inferred to me that you thought this site was only about sex which is what I disagreed with. It does look like I read you wrong
Quote by peenut
I . SH is no matter what we may have experienced through our postings all about SEX ! sex sells and from a commercial point of view this is why it is.
Tis only a reflection on what I read from postings ! I really am so sorry that good people are unhappy . I ventured to debate this from the postings in "hanging up my hat....", in particular bluexxx comments to admin re SH becoming a sex site. (I wish it were possible to cross quote from topic to topic ) .Clearly there is a commercial aim here now but the "product" seems to be in need of some careful marketing .
I did mention about applying for modding but if you care to re read that statement I say "in the future". kind of afirming confidence that I shall be hoping to stick around . not that I am looking to do it right now !( modding that is )
I did mention about applying for modding but if you care to re read that statement I say "in the future". kind of afirming confidence that I shall be hoping to stick around . not that I am looking to do it right now !( modding that is )
Quote by peenut
in particular bluexxx comments to admin re SH becoming a sex site.
Which in all honesty it is..... Swinging is a lifestyle and not a quick shag.... It's more about getting to know people and making friends then sex.... Sex is a bonus....
I did mention about applying for modding but if you care to re read that statement I say "in the future". kind of afirming confidence that I shall be hoping to stick around . not that I am looking to do it right now !
Normally it's the people that dont apply that are more suited to the position rather than the people that put themselves forward...
I think you will find that most of us have no intention of going anywhere, unless we are required to pay that is and then I would expect many to leave....
Sex God
Quote by Shireen_Mids
I think you will find that most of us have no intention of going anywhere, unless we are required to pay that is and then I would expect many to leave....
I hope that is another 'hat' we can firmly glue in place
Sex God
Quote by peenut
in particular bluexxx comments to admin re SH becoming a sex site. (I wish it were possible to cross quote from topic to topic )
It is ... here, have this:
Quote by bluexxx
It is with the greatest sadness that I am asking to have my mod status removed. I will remain a member of the site until the time comes when I have to pay to use it. I will contribute to threads and place ads now and again, but I do not wish to be associated with the running of a sex site, which is in fact what SH is now. I cannot justify to myself working for such a site.
Thanks.
Like many others, I've stuck around because I've invested a lot of time in SH and I've made lots of friends here and am making new ones all the time....I mostly use the dogging forum and don't want to see it reduced to drivel as it's a really friendly and chilled area most of the time, I also believe that there is room for discussion threads and dogging meet threads in there - same as it always was!
At the moment, the site is a community and a sex site, depending on the individual members expectation.....and perhaps the site will continue to be both. After all, the only difference is that the membership used to be separated by forum, chatroom or photoads and a lot of the latter never ventured into the other two areas which means there's been a huge influx of people with no knowledge of how the forum works so they are naturally treating it as they do the ads (infuriating but somewhat understandable!).
It might calm down and find a natural balance, I certainly hope so as I find my own patience tested more and more by the PMs I get. With regard to my own expectations of the changeover, I expressed concern about how the site would be marketed when it became a commercial venture - and the answer is, the forums aren't really that much different than before (we had ignorant and agressive members pre Symbios), it's just the invasive PMs that are a problem.
At the moment, the site is a community and a sex site, depending on the individual members expectation.....and perhaps the site will continue to be both. After all, the only difference is that the membership used to be separated by forum, chatroom or photoads and a lot of the latter never ventured into the other two areas which means there's been a huge influx of people with no knowledge of how the forum works so they are naturally treating it as they do the ads (infuriating but somewhat understandable!).
It might calm down and find a natural balance, I certainly hope so as I find my own patience tested more and more by the PMs I get. With regard to my own expectations of the changeover, I expressed concern about how the site would be marketed when it became a commercial venture - and the answer is, the forums aren't really that much different than before (we had ignorant and agressive members pre Symbios), it's just the invasive PMs that are a problem.
Sex may have been a fundimental part of what SH was - but it was the attitude to sex and people that made it stand part from being just a sex site. I believe it is possible to have a swinging site with membership paid for (though I wouldn't pay). Unfortunately it is the attitude of the new breed of SH members that does not sit well with the swinging ethos and is dragging the site to becoming just another haunt for single guys to look for a slapper.
