Another one for the list...
Sexual Accident Report.
Name: Mrs TallnHairy
Age: 20s
Location of accident: Bedroom, Lower left corner of bed
Injuries: Sprained pride
Describe the cause of the accident:
Mrs TnH after a number of orgasms declared she was now feeling giddy and attempted to get the tissues. Unfortunatly she missed the end of the bed with her arm by a clear foot, and after a comic pause fell off the bed with an 'oh shit' comment.
Further Actions:
Considering adding safety rope around the bed ;)
Minimum recovery timer for females to be set to 5 minutes as 2 is obviously not long enough.
I know you are supposed to come back to earth afterwads, but not with such a bump...
In her life prior to me ( apperently she did have a life before me lol) my wife had a relationship with a male nurse. Much as it is unprofessional he told her of a man that had been brought into casualty with an 'unusal' injury.........
Hands up all of you who can remember the little digital clock gear shift inserts that were so prevailent in the latter part of the 80's(and hands up all those who can see where this story is going)......
This gentleman had to have his digital clock removed from his rectal passage........
Enough said lol
The most hideous sexual accident I can barely face contemplating was that fateful, dark and gloomy night long, long ago and far, far away, when Mr Postie Snr said to Mrs Postie Snr, "fancy an early night"
How they regretted it!
Dislocated my shoulder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oooo... the pain still haunts me... i was on top. riding her quite high to get full on contact... practically doing cat dips on her.. leaned too far forward.. and... crunch...
still carried on to end though as she was damn close..... had to do a Lethal Weapon thing and pop it back in!!
Im glad to hear your all repaired and in working order, taking it out during penatration is probably for the best :smoke:
Well my story certainly won't have you wincing like some of the others on here, but here it is anyway.
About a year and half ago I was with my ex girlfreind (wasnt an ex at the time). I was on top and things were going well, then for some reason she kinda sat up as I was moving forward. She sat up with enough force ( i think she was about to cum but we never discussed that bit) that her forehead connected with my nose. She didnt break it but she managed to bang it hard enough that my nose started bleeding, and of course this meant i was bleeding on her. Well, the pain was quite reasnoable and there was alot of blood, ive no idea how i managed to get to the bath room toilet paper without getting more blood on the carpet.
QUOTE Well when I was 21 I was in Denmark with work. I was seeing a very nice young lady who worked for the Danish department doing the same job that I did for the Scottish Office ( I will NOT say any more .... well ask me at the scottish munch lolol ). She was giving me one helluva blow job when she choked , coughed and BIT........ put a hole right thru my foreskin...........after much screaming , wailing and running around with a towel wrapped around my knob we got dressed and she drove me to the hospital... needed 2 stiches but the foreskin didn't heal , got infected , foreskin shrunk ( couldn't pull it back over my glands ) and I had to have a circumcision.
And the bastard of a "surgeon" cut off to much skin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went from 7" down to just over 6"................. BUGGA.........
Still must admit that the extra hardness and thickness now means that i've not had many complaints ( only one and that was because she was 5ft tall , small build and I was a bit too wide youch !! ).
Davie ( still cringes to this day remembering this lol ) QUOTE
Does this mean if your circumcised at a young age, u cant grow too big??
when i was student nurse many years ago i had to remove stitchs from a guys penis! he said he slipped gettin out of the bath and his dick some how managed to end up in his pet dogs mouth and got bit shredded on its teeth!!! .......yeah rite!!!!! but mde us laugh over our tea break!
:mrgreen: :censored: :mrgreen: