isnt there some sort of rule that says the housemates have to make an appearance at least once a day? might be a rash of forfeits coming up!!!
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SH Big Brother - Week 3 - ALL UP 4 eviction
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EVERYONE IS UP FOR EVICTION
Quote by Sgt Bilko
I have been stuck here all day, without my glasses, without my uniform and without food. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
You know something Sarge.....I heard you coming in.
I'd have said Hi to you, but the bas***ds had chained me to the wall and blindfolded and gagged me. I thought you would have seen me and come to my rescue, but unfortunately, without your glasses it seems you're as blind as a bat.
My crime, I hear you all ask??
Well..........earlier on I saw a young man called eager slut standing near a hole in the wall........me being naturally nosey I watched for a while......there was a lot of moaning and groaning coming from the other side of the wall..............I know ES is a very kind and caring chap and had got down on his knees to look through the hole.......The moaning got louder and louder as Mr ES put his mouth to the hole to probably talk to the person in distress...........I think there must have been something sharp on the edges of the hole because Mr ES kept backing his head away............but being the kind and caring chap that he is he kept at it putting his mouth to the hole only to have to take it back again...................back and forth it went for what seemed like ages.......after what seemed an eternity..ES must have remedied the person's problems, because I heard a big sigh........and ES being the caring soul that he is, and knowing that he had helped someone in obvious distress, came away from the hole in the wall with a big smile on his face......now that's what you call being a good samaritan.
Anyway, back to my predicament........I went to the hole and tried to look through to make sure the person on the other side was well and truly ok, and who should be looking through from the other side, but one of the security guards, put into place to stop any contraband being smuggled into the house.
WELL, they must have thought I was trying to make the hole bigger to escape and go on some sort of clandestine meeting. They locked me away in the dungeon, blindfolded and gagged quicker than Little Brother takes to blush (and believe me...that is effing quick....lol)
I've just found out I've missed out on a bloody good Greek evening with toga and lager and kebab and everything.
Does Little brother have anything in his supplies to make me feel better??
Maybe a nice drop of Brandy to warm me up and get me ready for tomorrow's challenges?
Sarge.
Little Brother has been watching this event with great amusement :lol: :lol:
We have decided not to help you out of this sticky situation, because you are supplying hours entertainment.
If one of your house mates chooses to help you out and release you they are more than welcome to.
If you had :eeek: then you would have seen the keys on the table in Mingers Corner,
unless one of your lovely housemates have moved it and hidden it away
Little Brother is in a confused state over the fact that you seemed to have lost your Pj's. On your escape, Little Brother would like you to inform them of where your Pj's have gone.
To prove Cameras working we have enclosed the above film still as proof!
Little Brother has been watching this event with great amusement
:lol: :lol: We have decided not to help you out of this sticky situation, because you are supplying hours entertainment.
If one of your house mates chooses to help you out and release you they are more than welcome to.
If you had :eeek: then you would have seen the keys on the table in Mingers Corner,
unless one of your lovely housemates have moved it and hidden it away
Little Brother is in a confused state over the fact that you seemed to have lost your Pj's. On your escape, Little Brother would like you to inform them of where your Pj's have gone.
To prove Cameras working we have enclosed the above film still as proof!
Quote by davej
fookin hell this is hardly worth watching the adverts are better than the programme. :giggle:
Sorry about that Dave.....the last bit took me an hour to type........especially seeing as my hands are shackled to the wall
But aren't the adverts always better than the programming where BB is concerned??........lol
Listen, I will say this only once!
I was told that there was a rescue mission on here. I am hanging around in the dark alley in my overcoat and berret and there is no sign of Michelle from the Resitance or Rene from the cafe.
If there is to be an escape plan it must be started soon.
(Unless of course the house inmates are begining to enjoy themselves too much?)
I was told that there was a rescue mission on here. I am hanging around in the dark alley in my overcoat and berret and there is no sign of Michelle from the Resitance or Rene from the cafe.
If there is to be an escape plan it must be started soon.
(Unless of course the house inmates are begining to enjoy themselves too much?)
Sex God
Quote by Marcuso
fookin hell this is hardly worth watching the adverts are better than the programme. :giggle:
Sorry about that Dave.....the last bit took me an hour to type........especially seeing as my hands are shackled to the wall
But aren't the adverts always better than the programming where BB is concerned??........lol
Hell I just read it and at least the show has warmed up now. I might go and ping some popcorn
Quote by McCloggie
Listen, I will say this only once!
I was told that there was a rescue mission on here. I am hanging around in the dark alley in my overcoat and berret and there is no sign of Michelle from the Resitance or Rene from the cafe.
If there is to be an escape plan it must be started soon.
(Unless of course the house inmates are begining to enjoy themselves too much?)
listen very carefully, i shall type this only once . . . i think security got tipped off earlier, so i think the escape plans may be on hold, maybe blonde could let us know?
Marcuso
Little Brother is not the blushing one this evening The secret committee works on a rota system 
As for your prediciment, the security guards will be arriving shortly to release you, being as you have explained the situation.
LIttle Brother is also giving you a choice.
1. You can either help out your fellow house mate (Sarge) by releasing him, which he is in desperate need as he has been hanging around naked for the last 13 hours.
or
2. A miniture bottle of Brandy will be left for you on the table in Mingers Corner.
Please inform Little Brother of your choice
Little Brother is not the blushing one this evening
The secret committee works on a rota system As for your prediciment, the security guards will be arriving shortly to release you, being as you have explained the situation.
LIttle Brother is also giving you a choice.
1. You can either help out your fellow house mate (Sarge) by releasing him, which he is in desperate need as he has been hanging around naked for the last 13 hours.
or
2. A miniture bottle of Brandy will be left for you on the table in Mingers Corner.
Please inform Little Brother of your choice
TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT
Could all house mates please return to the bedroom as there is a possible security breach in progress.
The SHBB house is now in lock down.
Escape Committee you have two minutes to remove yourselves from the premises before the dogs, journalists and Essexlady (who is head of security) is released.
Could all house mates please return to the bedroom as there is a possible security breach in progress.
The SHBB house is now in lock down.
Escape Committee you have two minutes to remove yourselves from the premises before the dogs, journalists and Essexlady (who is head of security) is released.
Quote by Little Brother
Marcuso
LIttle Brother is also giving you a choice.
1. You can either help out your fellow house mate (Sarge) by releasing him, which he is in desperate need as he has been hanging around naked for the last 13 hours.
or
2. A miniture bottle of Brandy will be left for you on the table in Mingers Corner.
Please inform Little Brother of your choice
FFS Little Brother..........how do you expect me to make that sort of choice???
Can't I go and sit in mingers corner (where I feel VERY much at home) and drink the Brandy and then pocket the key for Sarge's handcuffs and sneak in and un-cuff him when the security guards have disappeared for the night??????
Quote by Little Brother
Marcusco, you need to make a decision very quickly, as we are at present holding the dogs and essexlady back and trust me essexlady is drawling and looking at sarge in a very strange manner.
OH bollox to it then...........sod the Brandy......I'd sooner help a fellow detainee get out of the Dungeon, rather than let Essexlady loose on him. I've seen what she's like when she has that "glint" in her eye............lol
Marcuso slopes off........feeling all dejected to get Sarge out of the dungeon and then check there's no dregs left in the bottom of the cans and wine bottles that the other housemates have had tonight
FFS!!! Marcuso!!! 
:x
Thirteen hours of being chained up was just about to pay off, thanks to the lovely Essexlady, then you come bounding over here with your underpants on the outside and release me!!
:banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
(Why have you got your underpants on the outside??)
:? :? :?
:x Thirteen hours of being chained up was just about to pay off, thanks to the lovely Essexlady, then you come bounding over here with your underpants on the outside and release me!!
:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: (Why have you got your underpants on the outside??)
:? :? :? Quote by Sgt Bilko
FFS!!! Marcuso!!!
Thirteen hours of being chained up was just about to pay off, thanks to the lovely Essexlady, then you come bounding over here with your underpants on the outside and release me!!
OOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS............Sorry about that Sarge.......Here was me trying to help you and it was a cunning plan all along...............I'll try and put it right........no, honest......I will try.........lol
(Why have you got your underpants on the outside??)
ERRRRMMMMMMMM..........what the feck are underpants??........I seem to remember wearing something like that about 20 years ago.........but since then.....I haven't let any of the horrible things near my soft, delicate skin........lol
Quote by Little Brother
Marcuso, as a reward for making the correct moral decision, a miniture bottle of Brandy has now been left for you in mingers corner. Please enjoy
Woo hoo
I've managed to do something right for once in my life.................thank you Little Brother.........I'll nip into Mingers Corner and fetch my Brandy and then snuggle up under my duvet and get pleasantly sozzled
Night Night all
Marcuso
xx xx
