Coffee Frustration Blues
I go down to the kitchen
To get myself a drink
Go put on the kettle
And the sugar by the sink
Reach a mug down from the cupboard
And I’m waiting for the steam
It’s the ritual of coffee
A familiar little dream
At last the kettle boils
And I reach out for the tin
When the lid is off I see that
There isn’t any in.
Then it makes me think of
The way you were last night
I wanted to make love with you
But you just put out the light.
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SH Poetry Corner
Devices and Desires
You have told me,
God knows how often, you have told me,
How much you cannot stand...
My beard around the basin;
My guitars around the living room;
My clothes around the bedroom.
And I have heard
God knows how often, I have heard
How much you don’t want
Me around anymore.
I don’t tell you
God knows how often, I don’t tell you
How much I don’t mind
The way you slurp your tea in the morning;
The dross of life you perpetually dump on me;
The mumbles you offer me as conversation.
And I have tried
God knows how often, I have tried
To show you
These foolish things don’t matter.
We don’t talk
God knows how often, we don’t talk
About love anymore.
How I love all the little things about you.
How you’d love me,
If it weren’t for all the little things about me.
This has happened,
God knows how often, this has happened,
To people falling out
Of love before.
They don’t see,
God knows how often, they don’t see,
How all the things she thinks she wouldn’t miss
If he were gone
Would be what she would miss
If he were gone.
Her love is eroded,
God knows how often, her love is eroded,
By all the pettifogging little faults
He has.
She never saw as problems, until now;
God knows how often, she never saw as problems, until now;
The symptoms of an overwhelming imperfection,
That cannot be forgiven.
The symptoms of an underlying condition,
That separates him from her.
He remains in love,
God knows how often, he remains in love,
Breaking off the brittlenesses;
Forgetting irritations.
His love is blind,
God knows how often, his love is blind,
Looking the other way
From minor wounds.
He treasures the little of herself
She has left him.
His love survives,
God knows how often, his love survives,
Wanting only to be with her.
And she, only wanting better.
Satisfaction,
God knows how often, satisfaction,
Always numbs him.
Always eludes her.
You have told me,
God knows how often, you have told me,
How much you cannot stand...
My beard around the basin;
My guitars around the living room;
My clothes around the bedroom.
And I have heard
God knows how often, I have heard
How much you don’t want
Me around anymore.
I don’t tell you
God knows how often, I don’t tell you
How much I don’t mind
The way you slurp your tea in the morning;
The dross of life you perpetually dump on me;
The mumbles you offer me as conversation.
And I have tried
God knows how often, I have tried
To show you
These foolish things don’t matter.
We don’t talk
God knows how often, we don’t talk
About love anymore.
How I love all the little things about you.
How you’d love me,
If it weren’t for all the little things about me.
This has happened,
God knows how often, this has happened,
To people falling out
Of love before.
They don’t see,
God knows how often, they don’t see,
How all the things she thinks she wouldn’t miss
If he were gone
Would be what she would miss
If he were gone.
Her love is eroded,
God knows how often, her love is eroded,
By all the pettifogging little faults
He has.
She never saw as problems, until now;
God knows how often, she never saw as problems, until now;
The symptoms of an overwhelming imperfection,
That cannot be forgiven.
The symptoms of an underlying condition,
That separates him from her.
He remains in love,
God knows how often, he remains in love,
Breaking off the brittlenesses;
Forgetting irritations.
His love is blind,
God knows how often, his love is blind,
Looking the other way
From minor wounds.
He treasures the little of herself
She has left him.
His love survives,
God knows how often, his love survives,
Wanting only to be with her.
And she, only wanting better.
Satisfaction,
God knows how often, satisfaction,
Always numbs him.
Always eludes her.
Muses
Muses, sadly, all must learn
That artists have their lives to earn
As a consequence of which
A muse’s portion is not rich.
An artist treats his woman bad;
He makes her sad, he drives her mad
To make the woman bite him back
Lest he forgets what he may lack.
Artists don’t have much to say
When contentment rules the day,
They only go and strut their stuff
When their women cry “Enough!â€
And those who thought that they’d inspire
With beauty, kindling arts desire
Find as woman succeeds the girl
It’s grit in the oyster makes the pearl.
Muses, sadly, all must learn
That artists have their lives to earn
As a consequence of which
A muse’s portion is not rich.
An artist treats his woman bad;
He makes her sad, he drives her mad
To make the woman bite him back
Lest he forgets what he may lack.
Artists don’t have much to say
When contentment rules the day,
They only go and strut their stuff
When their women cry “Enough!â€
And those who thought that they’d inspire
With beauty, kindling arts desire
Find as woman succeeds the girl
It’s grit in the oyster makes the pearl.
Sex God
sugar and spice
I've got to be nice
Freds got the hump
So call this a bump
I've got to be nice
Freds got the hump
So call this a bump
Sexual Politics
Remember how we talked about political lesbians?
The ones, we said, were lesbians for political reasons
Rather than political for lesbian reasons?
And then I said; “How sad.
How out of touch with their bodies they must be!â€
And you agreed.
I thought we had agreed because you knew
That sexual love cannot be fuelled by politics
Any more than it can be by money,
Or status, or power, or materialism.
And that the satisfaction of desire
Is a personal - not a party - responsibility.
So why do you expect me to perform?
Sexual love cannot be made conditional;
Does not depend on politics, nor deeds,
Nor even promises fulfilled.
Sex may thrive, but never love
When it is made conditional.
And why have you lost the excitement
Of delight in our physical love?
Without the prejudice of grudges borne?
Only by releasing material gravities
Can we rise above the numb mundane
Without the weight of baggage materialism carries.
Remember how we once loved
Unweighed down by dross?
Each of us excited by the other’s passion?
It’s all still there, I promise you
Beneath the load of politics
Passion still struggles under the burden of ideas.
Remember these, and then forget
Political conditions;
Forget me, forget yourself,
We shall rediscover one another:
The me I love to be when I am with
The you you love to be when you’re with me.
How ironic that the glue which bound us first
Has been destroyed by problems it could mend
If recognising its power
And accepting it unconditionally
We could neither be frigid for political reasons
Nor could we be political, for we wouldn’t be frigid at all
Remember how we talked about political lesbians?
The ones, we said, were lesbians for political reasons
Rather than political for lesbian reasons?
And then I said; “How sad.
How out of touch with their bodies they must be!â€
And you agreed.
I thought we had agreed because you knew
That sexual love cannot be fuelled by politics
Any more than it can be by money,
Or status, or power, or materialism.
And that the satisfaction of desire
Is a personal - not a party - responsibility.
So why do you expect me to perform?
Sexual love cannot be made conditional;
Does not depend on politics, nor deeds,
Nor even promises fulfilled.
Sex may thrive, but never love
When it is made conditional.
And why have you lost the excitement
Of delight in our physical love?
Without the prejudice of grudges borne?
Only by releasing material gravities
Can we rise above the numb mundane
Without the weight of baggage materialism carries.
Remember how we once loved
Unweighed down by dross?
Each of us excited by the other’s passion?
It’s all still there, I promise you
Beneath the load of politics
Passion still struggles under the burden of ideas.
Remember these, and then forget
Political conditions;
Forget me, forget yourself,
We shall rediscover one another:
The me I love to be when I am with
The you you love to be when you’re with me.
How ironic that the glue which bound us first
Has been destroyed by problems it could mend
If recognising its power
And accepting it unconditionally
We could neither be frigid for political reasons
Nor could we be political, for we wouldn’t be frigid at all
Please, just stop trying to analyse me!
Don’t cut me up:
I wasn’t complete
I was hoping that you and I might just meet.
I’m only half-human -
But then, so are you
And to make a whole human;
Well, we have to screw.
Let’s not dissect words, nor analyse thought
It’s only your brain that suggests that we ought.
Move closer, whilst, gently, I fondle your tits
And later I’ll please all your other bits.
No, don’t cut me up. Please, don’t deconstruct.
We’ll never be whole until we have fucked.
Don’t cut me up:
I wasn’t complete
I was hoping that you and I might just meet.
I’m only half-human -
But then, so are you
And to make a whole human;
Well, we have to screw.
Let’s not dissect words, nor analyse thought
It’s only your brain that suggests that we ought.
Move closer, whilst, gently, I fondle your tits
And later I’ll please all your other bits.
No, don’t cut me up. Please, don’t deconstruct.
We’ll never be whole until we have fucked.
Advice to the shy.
I couldn’t always talk to folk; I used to be so shy
I couldn’t ask a lass for a poke - not even in my eye.
But my life’s been an adventure from the day I went to work
When my boss said, “Glad they sent yer, the last bloke was a
I found that I’d be working in an old converted church
Where appliances were lurking for medical research.
The job was hardly spicy in fact it banished lust
The temperature was icy as ‘In God we trussed’
But me workmates took me drinking and I’m telling you no joke
The drinking set me thinking that I was a bolder bloke.
Very soon I gave the lasses much more than the eye
If you get my meaning, it was ‘fish and finger pie’.
I moved on to a factory where working was a chore
But it was full of lasses who all came back for more
In no time I’d earned a name for very canny shagging
I gave such satisfaction, lasses said my piping needs no lagging.
They told me other lads would try to fool them with a sock
Inside their jeans where I have always filled up mine with cock.
Where lasses hope to find a thing to make them all say ‘Gosh!’
They’re often disappointed by a pair they’re asked to wash.
I have to say it’s made my day and made some happy nights
To find out I’ve been blessed with what delivers such delights
And now I am experienced, I’ll give you some advice:
Big genitals can help a shy bloke... but on lasses they’re not nice!
I couldn’t always talk to folk; I used to be so shy
I couldn’t ask a lass for a poke - not even in my eye.
But my life’s been an adventure from the day I went to work
When my boss said, “Glad they sent yer, the last bloke was a
I found that I’d be working in an old converted church
Where appliances were lurking for medical research.
The job was hardly spicy in fact it banished lust
The temperature was icy as ‘In God we trussed’
But me workmates took me drinking and I’m telling you no joke
The drinking set me thinking that I was a bolder bloke.
Very soon I gave the lasses much more than the eye
If you get my meaning, it was ‘fish and finger pie’.
I moved on to a factory where working was a chore
But it was full of lasses who all came back for more
In no time I’d earned a name for very canny shagging
I gave such satisfaction, lasses said my piping needs no lagging.
They told me other lads would try to fool them with a sock
Inside their jeans where I have always filled up mine with cock.
Where lasses hope to find a thing to make them all say ‘Gosh!’
They’re often disappointed by a pair they’re asked to wash.
I have to say it’s made my day and made some happy nights
To find out I’ve been blessed with what delivers such delights
And now I am experienced, I’ll give you some advice:
Big genitals can help a shy bloke... but on lasses they’re not nice!
All at Sea
You were an octopus
When we first came together
Too many arms and legs
Drawing me in
To the soft core of your body
To feed
Your all-consuming
Desire
That was years ago
Now, you’re a crab
Still too many arms and legs
Manipulating me away
Hard shelled claws tearing me
To feed
Your all-consuming
Derision
How, where we once enjoyed symbiosis,
Now, has there been metamorphosis?
Where once you prayed for me daily
Why, now, am I your daily prey?
Now, having converted you from lover into wife
How has this converted me into mere pond-life?
And what was I
That I am no longer?
What have I become
That you armour yourself
Against me?
Or have you just tired
Of the same old fishy smell?
You were an octopus
When we first came together
Too many arms and legs
Drawing me in
To the soft core of your body
To feed
Your all-consuming
Desire
That was years ago
Now, you’re a crab
Still too many arms and legs
Manipulating me away
Hard shelled claws tearing me
To feed
Your all-consuming
Derision
How, where we once enjoyed symbiosis,
Now, has there been metamorphosis?
Where once you prayed for me daily
Why, now, am I your daily prey?
Now, having converted you from lover into wife
How has this converted me into mere pond-life?
And what was I
That I am no longer?
What have I become
That you armour yourself
Against me?
Or have you just tired
Of the same old fishy smell?
Sex God
once it was stickied at the top of the page
now its the subject of Freds daily rage
but say what you will, its now free to float
amongst other thread classics like...
how to shave a scrote
now its the subject of Freds daily rage
but say what you will, its now free to float
amongst other thread classics like...
how to shave a scrote
Spy
You are a spy
In the dark house of love
Revealing your secrets to no-one
There’s nobody here
With whom you’ll share trust;
In spying, it takes one to know one.
You have your cause
For which you will fight
And wrestle with love, undercover
Abusing their trust
Indulging your lust
Leaving nothing that they can recover.
Your enemy’s truth
So nothing you say
Or do is ever consistent
With the way that you feel
Or the way that you are
Your cover is ever persistent.
But what may be clear
To those who hold dear
A notion of you that is false,
Is you shall not reveal
How they might appeal
Or partner you in life’s waltz
You won’t be led a dance
To the old doublecross
Of your enemy’s deepest desire
And you will not succumb
You think intimacies numb
As moths in the flame die in fire.
Your identity’s secret
You won’t give your name
To do so would cede all your power
For you have been trained
To conceal who you are
And to wrench out their heart in an hour
You are a spy
In the cold house of love
Dissembling and claiming you love me
And plotting the steps
You will take whilst I sleep
To take your advantage above me.
You are a spy
In the dark house of love
Revealing your secrets to no-one
There’s nobody here
With whom you’ll share trust;
In spying, it takes one to know one.
You have your cause
For which you will fight
And wrestle with love, undercover
Abusing their trust
Indulging your lust
Leaving nothing that they can recover.
Your enemy’s truth
So nothing you say
Or do is ever consistent
With the way that you feel
Or the way that you are
Your cover is ever persistent.
But what may be clear
To those who hold dear
A notion of you that is false,
Is you shall not reveal
How they might appeal
Or partner you in life’s waltz
You won’t be led a dance
To the old doublecross
Of your enemy’s deepest desire
And you will not succumb
You think intimacies numb
As moths in the flame die in fire.
Your identity’s secret
You won’t give your name
To do so would cede all your power
For you have been trained
To conceal who you are
And to wrench out their heart in an hour
You are a spy
In the cold house of love
Dissembling and claiming you love me
And plotting the steps
You will take whilst I sleep
To take your advantage above me.
Spy
You are a spy
In the dark house of love
Revealing your secrets to no-one
There’s nobody here
With whom you’ll share trust;
In spying, it takes one to know one.
You have your cause
For which you will fight
And wrestle with love, undercover
Abusing their trust
Indulging your lust
Leaving nothing that they can recover.
Your enemy’s truth
So nothing you say
Or do is ever consistent
With the way that you feel
Or the way that you are
Your cover is ever persistent.
But what may be clear
To those who hold dear
A notion of you that is false,
Is you shall not reveal
How they might appeal
Or partner you in life’s waltz
You won’t be led a dance
To the old doublecross
Of your enemy’s deepest desire
And you will not succumb
You think intimacies numb
As moths in the flame die in fire.
Your identity’s secret
You won’t give your name
To do so would cede all your power
For you have been trained
To conceal who you are
And to wrench out their heart in an hour
You are a spy
In the cold house of love
Dissembling and claiming you love me
And plotting the steps
You will take whilst I sleep
To take your advantage above me.
You are a spy
In the dark house of love
Revealing your secrets to no-one
There’s nobody here
With whom you’ll share trust;
In spying, it takes one to know one.
You have your cause
For which you will fight
And wrestle with love, undercover
Abusing their trust
Indulging your lust
Leaving nothing that they can recover.
Your enemy’s truth
So nothing you say
Or do is ever consistent
With the way that you feel
Or the way that you are
Your cover is ever persistent.
But what may be clear
To those who hold dear
A notion of you that is false,
Is you shall not reveal
How they might appeal
Or partner you in life’s waltz
You won’t be led a dance
To the old doublecross
Of your enemy’s deepest desire
And you will not succumb
You think intimacies numb
As moths in the flame die in fire.
Your identity’s secret
You won’t give your name
To do so would cede all your power
For you have been trained
To conceal who you are
And to wrench out their heart in an hour
You are a spy
In the cold house of love
Dissembling and claiming you love me
And plotting the steps
You will take whilst I sleep
To take your advantage above me.
Sex God
Quote by davej
once it was stickied at the top of the page
now its the subject of Freds daily rage
but say what you will, its now free to float
amongst other thread classics like...
how to shave a scrote
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Ode to British Railways
Overpriced and crappy food,
Staff always in a bad mood,
Abuse of power comes to mind,
But that's just me being kind.
Some stations falling apart
Others so bad they tear out your heart
Home to ferral chav kids and drunks
One wrong move and they'll end up in chunks.
Trains barely on time, always delayed
Some so late they should have stayed
"We apologize for the inconvenience"
Fuck you and your arrogance.
Rip off prices, discounts rarely,
legal side of extortionate barely,
Supersaver advance a pain
Only valid on that train.
Fuel price hike is what they say,
we'll never believe that any day,
Fat cats want an extra yacht,
Everyone think's they've lost the plot.
Toilets that smell or never work,
Enough to make you go berserk,
Worst of all is Virgin trains,
Who's toilets smell like public drains.
Rush hour comes, trains are packed,
10 a pile is how they're stacked,
Hard it is to ignore your mind,
as it tells you about the breasts in front, and erection behind.
Overpriced and crappy food,
Staff always in a bad mood,
Abuse of power comes to mind,
But that's just me being kind.
Some stations falling apart
Others so bad they tear out your heart
Home to ferral chav kids and drunks
One wrong move and they'll end up in chunks.
Trains barely on time, always delayed
Some so late they should have stayed
"We apologize for the inconvenience"
Fuck you and your arrogance.
Rip off prices, discounts rarely,
legal side of extortionate barely,
Supersaver advance a pain
Only valid on that train.
Fuel price hike is what they say,
we'll never believe that any day,
Fat cats want an extra yacht,
Everyone think's they've lost the plot.
Toilets that smell or never work,
Enough to make you go berserk,
Worst of all is Virgin trains,
Who's toilets smell like public drains.
Rush hour comes, trains are packed,
10 a pile is how they're stacked,
Hard it is to ignore your mind,
as it tells you about the breasts in front, and erection behind.
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
Humpy Grumpy scratched at his balls
Watching the poetry thread as it falls
So all the loose women and all the slack men
Bumped it up on the page again
OMG I am pmsl here - that is sooooo funny.
:lol: Alone.
She can’t find a reason to go on.
All her dreams have grown their wings and flown.
The house is big inside.
Her memories reside… in every room.
Too much too soon.
Alone she hears the echoes of her life.
Born to be a mother and a wife.
To love for evermore.
So she just can’t ignore… this pain she feels.
Time never heals.
And so she screams at the world in desperation.
And begs to the heavens for some salvation.
Falls to her knees as tears run down her face.
In the palm of her hand is a screwed up page.
There’s a photograph of three new graves.
And all she wants to do is take their place.
She can’t find a reason to go on.
All her dreams have grown their wings and flown.
She can’t find a reason to go on.
All her dreams have grown their wings and flown.
The house is big inside.
Her memories reside… in every room.
Too much too soon.
Alone she hears the echoes of her life.
Born to be a mother and a wife.
To love for evermore.
So she just can’t ignore… this pain she feels.
Time never heals.
And so she screams at the world in desperation.
And begs to the heavens for some salvation.
Falls to her knees as tears run down her face.
In the palm of her hand is a screwed up page.
There’s a photograph of three new graves.
And all she wants to do is take their place.
She can’t find a reason to go on.
All her dreams have grown their wings and flown.
Sex God
Oh frettled grunt buggeley
thy mixturations are to me
as fertled blotchets
in a lurgid bee
Groop I implore thee
my foonting turling drones
or I will rend thee in the goberworts
with my burgelcroncheon.......... see if I dont.
(shortened thread bump version, appologies to author)
thy mixturations are to me
as fertled blotchets
in a lurgid bee
Groop I implore thee
my foonting turling drones
or I will rend thee in the goberworts
with my burgelcroncheon.......... see if I dont.
(shortened thread bump version, appologies to author)
Sex God
I remember someone having a maon that this lost its sticky attribute, guess moaning realy works, must try harder 
Mr Tweeky
Mr Tweeky
Ermm....
The memories linger in the far recesses of every room
entrapped emotions, frozen feelings encapsulatedwithin this tomb
When evening light recedes into the stillness of the night
Memories shimmer formward on a translucent light
Lovers intertwined in a breathless timeless embrace
Wrinkles emerging from a smilling face
Secret whispers flitting between two open souls
Two hearts beating together in a common goal
A babies laughter interrupts a nursery rhyme
All past memories from a far distant better time
The memories linger in the far recesses of every room
entrapped emotions, frozen feelings encapsulatedwithin this tomb
When evening light recedes into the stillness of the night
Memories shimmer formward on a translucent light
Lovers intertwined in a breathless timeless embrace
Wrinkles emerging from a smilling face
Secret whispers flitting between two open souls
Two hearts beating together in a common goal
A babies laughter interrupts a nursery rhyme
All past memories from a far distant better time
It was the nite before Christmas and all over the house everyone felt shity even the mouse!
with mum at the whore house, and dad smoking grass so I settled down for a nice piece of ass
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter, so I went out to see what was the matter,
There on the lawn I saw a great dick I know in a moment it was st Nick, he fell down my chimney like a bat out of hell, I know in a moment the fucker had fell.
He filled up our stockings with presents and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He rose up my chimney with a tremendous fart the son of a bitch blow the chimney apart.
He swore and swore as he flow out of sight,
Piss on you all and have a hell of a nite!!!!
Dee x
with mum at the whore house, and dad smoking grass so I settled down for a nice piece of ass
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter, so I went out to see what was the matter,
There on the lawn I saw a great dick I know in a moment it was st Nick, he fell down my chimney like a bat out of hell, I know in a moment the fucker had fell.
He filled up our stockings with presents and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He rose up my chimney with a tremendous fart the son of a bitch blow the chimney apart.
He swore and swore as he flow out of sight,
Piss on you all and have a hell of a nite!!!!
Dee x
Sex God
Philly was a filly from Chile,
who was always looking for Willy.
When Willy walked in, she was not chilly,
all she could ask was 'Will he? Will he? Will he?'
who was always looking for Willy.
When Willy walked in, she was not chilly,
all she could ask was 'Will he? Will he? Will he?'
poem to my gf
Thier is a lady i admire i love her so much
all i want to do is have her in my arms to kiss and touch
all of lifes mistakes i make when iam down she makes me
fell great when i come home from work 4 hours late she
is thier with a smile and a hug she truley is my best mate
when i look into her eyes she makes me cry i want to
tell her she lights up my world every second iam with her
every minute iam away my soul feels empty i miss her our
love will never end who knows what fate has in store all iwant to do is hug and kiss her
Thier is a lady i admire i love her so much
all i want to do is have her in my arms to kiss and touch
all of lifes mistakes i make when iam down she makes me
fell great when i come home from work 4 hours late she
is thier with a smile and a hug she truley is my best mate
when i look into her eyes she makes me cry i want to
tell her she lights up my world every second iam with her
every minute iam away my soul feels empty i miss her our
love will never end who knows what fate has in store all iwant to do is hug and kiss her
